| "The Beautiful Soldier" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] |
Title: Um..
Reviewed By: Hikari Mirai On: January 07, 2004 19:49 CST
Comment/Review:
Hm.. Your story is okay, but it is kind of hard to read... everytime someone speaks or a new subject is added -- something like that-- you use a different paragrah of something. You just wrote all of your sentences in one big paragrah and someone the sentences aren't even done. That's all I wanted to mention.. this isn't intended to be a flame. But it's just a thing to improve your writing style that is easier to peoples eyes.
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Reviewed By: lily-chan On: July 13, 2003 03:34 CDT
Comment/Review:
Believe it or not I have read this before. I liked it before and I like it now. You get an 8 on this one too for the same reasons. If you want you can send me the chapter before you post and I'll do the spelling and grammer checks for you. |
