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| "In Close Quarters" Reviews/Comments [ 46 ] | | Pages (4): [ 1 2 3 4 › » ] | Reviewed By: InuYashacrazy101 [MediaMiner Member] On: August 20, 2007 16:40 CDT
Comment/Review:
oh my gosh i luved it! and that was ur first lemon and it was pretty good *thumb up* im acually 14 and it didnt bother me so i wont give u any shit! again luved it! -inuyashacrazy101
| Title: heh
Reviewed By: Autumn_the_Reviewer [MediaMiner Member] On: November 10, 2006 05:32 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
It was a lil unexpected they way you ended it, but i loved it nontheless. I look forward to reading your other stories.. Keep writing, you have a talent. ~Autumn the Reviewer
| Reviewed By: kilichan [MediaMiner Member] On: October 29, 2006 18:27 CST
Comment/Review:
Uh.... that's the end? That was so... unexpected... O_O. But it's a kind of cute way to end it... I guess. O_o O-kay. Well, it was a very good story nonetheless! I will be sure to check out your other stuff!
| Reviewed By: kilichan [MediaMiner Member] On: October 29, 2006 16:17 CST
Comment/Review:
Yaaaaaaaaay. Very NICE chapter. And a lemon next! I think... it was a bad idea to claim he was her cousin. Ack! Since they can't be seen kissing or anything >_O Buuuuttt.... They'll work it out. Heh, I like when he gets protective and punches through the thing. And it was cute when he was jealous of the stuffed animal. I can just see him sitting there with his twitchy ears thinking "my ears are much softer" *giggles* oh, by the way, waaaaaaay back when they were at the resturant and he imitated her--that was a funny line. He put his hand on his hip and went "Inuyasha you idiot. You stupid Jerk" or whatever. That made me grin. What a visual. He probably didn't do her voice, but that would've been funny. I'm sure he pitched his voice some what. And I don't know if he had his hand on his hip or not, but there was some mention of that a few lines before the funny one...
| Reviewed By: kilichan [MediaMiner Member] On: October 29, 2006 16:06 CST
Comment/Review:
"I've got a lot of explaining to do, or appologizing, or something..." tee hee hee. xDD Blue eyes, huh? You called them 'emerald' and 'green' in some previous chapters, unless I'm confused. Though I think you *also* said she had blue eyes in some previous chapters. In the manga she has blue eyes, and in the anime she has brown... @_@ Next chappie!!!
| Reviewed By: kilichan [MediaMiner Member] On: October 29, 2006 15:58 CST
Comment/Review:
Um... so, wait. DID he rape her? Because it seemed more like he was about to, but then he had to go fight Inuyasha... There are two things that bother me about this story. They are both in reference to Kagome, so maybe they are things you should give a little thought to(?). 1. Kagome's level of immaturity. Some of the comments in the *beginning* of the story seem too immature for her. I know she's only 15, but she is really mature for her age. It's only some lines in the first few chapters though--as this story goes on she starts seeming more "like herself"... 2. Kagome has spiritual powers. I know you know this. Midori wanted her because she can see the shards, and you mentioned her arrows once. Kagome is not trained, she just wings it. Her powers manifest when she's really upset. I think her powers would explode straight from her body before she let that guy rape her. And Kagome is an extremely compassionate person. Even if she didn't purify that guy for attempting to rape her, I think she would do it to protect that girl from him. She wouldn't let him rape her in front of her! She wouldn't just close her eyes and block it out, she'd try to help her! She'd be furious and horrified and burning with righteous anger on the girl's behalf, and on her own, and her powers would go nuts. Er... don'tcha think? AND I know she's not that much of a fighter. But she IS brave (reckless, whatever) and she TRIES to fight. She doesn't just give up. Or give in. Just... keep that in mind. Okay? I know it's your first story though. And honestly, I think you've done a really great job with everyone else. Ooohhh... Except for *one* other teensy little thing. I'm also of the belief that Inuyasha wouldn't be comfortable in modern day clothes. I think MAYBE she could get him into them, but not in jeans. I know in one story he put on some jeans and a t-shirt and threw on his robes over it because he was so embarrassed. He thought it was indecent (he does live way back then, you know? He probably would think it indecent). His robes are loose and cover EVERYTHING. Jeans are really restrictive. So maybe you have another solution? Normal pants, or sweat pants maybe...? Even without the comparision to that other story, I have read the mangas and seen the show and it makes sense he'd refuse to wear jeans, neh? Hopefully you find this critism constructive as I was trying to be nice. I honestly do NOT think this story is bad, I just think you could give some attention to those three minor things. The story is good and I like it a lot. I thought it was funny that they were attached together like that in the beginning. It reminded me of "A Fortuitous Blunder" on FF.net. Which is also a cute story. Though I think your writing style is bit better, if I remember the other author's correctly... @_@ Annnnnyway.
| Reviewed By: queenserena(still not signed in) On: July 07, 2004 19:21 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh my god, if they even try to become unstuck.../Rin:What is 'superglue'?/Remember what the Mauraders used to get Harry stuck to the chair?/Rin:*blinks*Oh goodness.../I'll be waiting!*fades away*
| Reviewed By: Sunrider24/7 On: April 04, 2004 22:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Very Very good! Good writer! U should keep going, or at least start another story, just promise me one thing, no sess/kag crap! I hate those, and if u can, make Kikyo die and burn in hell! Please and thankyou!
| Reviewed By: queenserena12345(not signed) On: February 20, 2004 19:57 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
*Jumps up and down* How do I get on someone's case anyway?! *keeps jumping* I feel like Paige, but she had 7 cups of sugar this morning in her breakfast. *stops* I think I made a crater like Inu-chan would...Oh, Gomenaisa!
| Reviewed By: monkeymary89 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 12, 2004 05:13 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
this story rocks so much i just love it! i can't wait till you update again!! lots of love for the author with the golden pen (or keyboard whatever)!!!! good job and keep it up!!!
| Reviewed By: BRL (Black Rose Lady) On: February 11, 2004 21:04 CST
Comment/Review:
Another great chapter, as always! I'm so glad you updated! But--something I want to bring up/make a comment about. When you mentioned "he felt the barrier break" (or something like that; refering to what supposedly breaks when a girl loses her virginity)is not accurate. A girl has something like that, it's true. Slang terminology would be "cherry" as in "popping the cherry". But as a matter of fact, it's called the hymen, and it is so thin, that doing anything strenuous, such as horse back or bicylce riding, hard physical actions, gymnastics, anything of that sort, will cause the hymen (cherry) to break. Also, the hymen has to at least have a small tear in it in order for menstruation (the period) to take place; the blood and tissue have to leave the body somehow! And when it does break, there may be some blood or a tiny amount of tissue; (some girls are even born without one!) but it is so thin, it cannot be felt; Pretty much the only way that you could break the hymen on your "first time" would be if you were a young (like 8-10 yr. old) girl being sexually abused. So, I just thought that you may want to check your background on that--I know, it was new info to me, too! I didn't know about it until yesterday, because that's what we covered in our Human Reproduction Unit. Anyhow, enough of my lecture. Great chapter, but I just thought that a bit of input may have been needed. ~BRL (Black Rose Lady) red_flame204@hotmail.com
| Reviewed By: iire [MediaMiner Member] On: January 29, 2004 19:47 CST
Comment/Review:
No update in over a month! AAAAAAA!!!! (sigh)
| Title: I really like it!
Reviewed By: girlsrock On: January 24, 2004 22:33 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i really love it please put the next chapter soon
| Reviewed By: keistje [MediaMiner Member] On: December 31, 2003 18:22 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is such a great story! I feel all warm and fuzzy inside when I read it. I can't wait until they tell each other how they feel!
| Reviewed By: Sniper-of-Death [MediaMiner Member] On: December 29, 2003 23:56 CST
Comment/Review:
GREAT WORK!!!!!!! hurry up and type the next chapter *looks around 2 c ppl staring at SoD* "HEY I'M NOT A PERVERT!!!! I JUST WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!!"
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