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"Master Mosquiton: New Beginning" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ]
 Reviewed By: vampkestrel  On: August 30, 2001 23:03 CDT
Comment/Review:

wow great story i loved it can't wait for the next part to come out.
 Reviewed By: anonymous  On: September 01, 2001 15:40 CDT
Comment/Review:

The story itself seems to be developing into an interesting and solid one, however... There's a confusing storytelling style since you don't seem to have a good grasp on the rules of writing in prose. Every time a new person speaks, you need to start a paragraph--even if it ends up being a one-word paragraph. Also, any time someone says something in a regular tone, the formatting is as follows: "Hi there. How are you? I do hope you enjoy your stay," Krystal said cheerfully. In this example, what's within the quotes ends with a comma and quote mark, followed by a non-capitalized word (unless it's a proper name, as it is here). I noticed a number of quotes from your characters formatted incorrectly. Go back and smooth out the grammer and you'll significantly improve your writing style.

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