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| "seshomeru's true self" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] | Reviewed By: JESSJESS15 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 17, 2004 14:18 CST
Comment/Review:
just want to tell everybody that my computer has some sort of viris and wont uplaod my storys properly i wote 2 more pages and have benn trying to post thim for 8 hours
| Reviewed By: Rinchan's flower [MediaMiner Member] On: February 09, 2004 21:04 CST
Comment/Review:
Um...wow... I really can't get on you for spelling, but you should really check it over. Maybe get a beta reader to check it over, grammar included. I'm not that great with spelling or grammar but you should always look your fic over yourself before posting it, so you can catch your little mistakes. When I was reading your fic I saw that you often times spelled Back, Bake. I'm not going to say anything about the characters names because it's mentioned in the first review. "Sorry Miroku. Any way I'm Onigumo`s sister- which you know as Naraku- and when I was about seven years old he discovered that I have cretin… powers that would come in handy when trying to still a cretin jewel. Anyway one day he came to my parents and asked if I could help him with some thing. Of course they told him I wasn't there and that he should come bake the next day. That night I was whisked away, accompanied by a friend of the family. In the morning not only did I discover that I was in another country I was allow I another time. - I don't understand this at all, did Sesshoumaru come to her and ask her this? Or did Naraku...? How did she become so well adjusted in the modern era? How did her parents make money? They got jobs? How did she go to that school? And how did her parents meet this headmaster? I mean it's not like they could say they were from the fuedal era... These were the only things I could come up with at the top of my head...There are a lot of things you should look over or get a beta reader...
| Title: suggestions
Reviewed By: Emi-chan34 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 23, 2003 11:07 CST
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 3 of 10
Comment/Review:
hey, i haven't read all of your story but i wanted to review and give you some pointers. first, you really need to get someone to beta this for you. i don't mean to be rude or too critical but you really need to work on your spelling. i would be more than willing to help you with this if you would like. most importantly you need to correct the mistakes in your summary. at this point it reads: A misterious figuer helps the gang by colecting many jewel shards and gifes them the gratest gift of all. the power to look into ther own harts. corrected it could be something along the lines of: A mysterious figure helps the Inuyasha gang by collecting many of the elucive jewel shards. Eventually, this enigmatic individual gives them the greatest gift of all, the power to discern that which lies at the core of their own hearts. ...or something like that, whatever you want to say. also, you should probably include in your summary who the story is going to be focusing on and the couples. hopefull, you will get a lot more people coming to visit your story by making these corrections. moreover, your actual story needs a lot of corrections, too. It would help if you gave a little bit of an introduction to the story before you begin your first chapter. also, the characters names are spelled Shessoumaru, Rin, Naraku, Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, Shippou, etc.
| Title: thank you
Reviewed By: SaraBear [MediaMiner Member] On: December 22, 2003 16:17 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Awwwww..... thank you so much! I love you too Jess Jess!!!!!!! Nell Nell says hi! Very Good Story!! Keep writing... if you want to i could be your beta reader! Merry Christmas from both of us!!
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