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| "Simple Human Contact" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] | Title: Awwww...
Reviewed By: Onee-sama [MediaMiner Member] On: May 10, 2004 18:47 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Man, that was just great!! I loved it... but it kinda ended too early... *hinthint*... how about a sequell? doesn't that sound like a great idea... 'cause I want to know how far Duo can get Heero out of his shell... maybe he could even get him to say those important words... PLEASE, think about a sequell!!!! I really would like to read more about this! anyway, great Story! write more!!!!
| Reviewed By: PATTY 40 On: May 10, 2004 16:31 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great oneshot ...keep up the great writing hope to read more from you soon....
| Reviewed By: Airen [MediaMiner Member] On: May 10, 2004 00:56 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Gaaahhh! How I wish this wasn't a one-shot! Okay. A couple of things. I want you to know I enjoyed this very much, as I enjoy all of your writing. However, I have some nitpicks. I'm sorry. :/ I appreciate when people do this for me, so I thought I'd do it for you (nitpick my stuff all you like, if you want revenge, heh - I warn you, though, it's bad!). First of all...this doesn't really sound like Duo's voice to me. I imagine Duo speaks with more slang and doesn't use a lot of descriptive words. However, if I were you, I wouldn't change anything. This is beautifully written. When you're writing first person, though, you want to keep in mind who is speaking and what his or her background is. It feels more real when you're sitting down and reading it. Second thing - I find it hard to believe that Duo, in all his years of living with Heero, never thought about him "that way". If people were gossiping about the two...he had to think about it before that, right? Yeah, sorry. That's a dumb nitpick. It was just something I was musing over as I read this. Last thing (I'm a freak, I know) - when writing, you might want to watch your direct objects. I noticed in two spots you have phrases like "about Heero and I". It should be "about Heero and me". Things like that. Well, actually...scratch that. If this really were Duo speaking, he probably wouldn't use correct grammar. Who knows. Ughh. I just thought it was something worth pointing out. Once again, I'm sorry I nitpicked. ::hangs head:: I do adore your writing. You portray the intricate changes in relationships so well. That's something I have trouble with and I admire people like you who do it so well. Your writing is so intense, so smooth. I'm always happy to see you update. Okay, that's my two cents. :D Thanks for posting this.
| Reviewed By: Fire of Phoenix On: May 10, 2004 00:07 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really wish it wasn't a one-shot because i want to know what happens next. How will they handle the relationship? But great story anyway! I totallly loved it!^_^
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