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| "Angel of Mercy" Reviews/Comments [ 6 ] | Reviewed By: Sintar On: November 14, 2004 22:16 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I just wanted to let you know that this story is absolutely wonderful, I just started reading stories on mediaminer.org, I use fanficiton.net myself but I may add mine to here. Lemme know if I can be a beta tester, I really love this story! sintar@hellokitty.com
| Title: Promised review
Reviewed By: Kennas not logged in On: October 20, 2004 14:53 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hello! What you have here is wonderful. I see only a few things you need to work on. First and formost. Dont beg for reviews. They are gratifying, but keep in mind the thread that connected us. Better quality is always better than quantity. Now work on flow. A few of your paragraphs seemed choppy. Not because you cant write well, but becasue you try and get too concise. More information in more words. I find that if it sounds too choppy, then I add more words and break it up into a few paragraphs. Maybe a paragraph per idea. Try giving more description about body language. You do a great job with the facial expressions, but do they gesture when speaking or are their hands glued to their sides? Stuff like that help with the flow of the story more than you can immagine. Try to avoid using the same word over and over again. In chapter 11 paragraph 1, you began a sentance with the word "she" 6 times. I had to reread the it because the first time though, I could only see the word "she"! *lol* Try and proof read your work out loud. That helps out my beta alot...when I manage to GET them to beta for me, that is. You also catch your spelling mistakes better this way. Your story is comming along quite nicely. Keep it up, im looking forward to reading the end. Oh, and about writing more than one story at a time...a great author here on MM gave me the idea to keep two stories going, but use one of them to overcome writers block and the other for regular updates. It works, try it.
| Reviewed By: phoenixfire17 (not logged in) On: October 03, 2004 10:21 CDT
Comment/Review:
I haven't reviewed in awhile, so I thought I might as well. The story is going good, and I still like it. Keep writing!!
| Reviewed By: phoenixfire17 (not logged in) On: September 11, 2004 22:29 CDT
Comment/Review:
I like chapter 7!!!!
| Reviewed By: phoenixfire17 (not logged in) On: September 10, 2004 17:21 CDT
Comment/Review:
One question: Why is Sess falling for Nanashi so fast? Or am i just just clueless about how much time has passed since they met??? Maybe I should go back and read the fic again....
| Reviewed By: phoenixfire17 (not logged in) On: September 06, 2004 09:55 CDT
Comment/Review:
Yay! I'm the first to review! This fic is really interesting. I want to see where you take the plot.
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