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| "The Reunion" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] | Reviewed By: Tsugumi Obinata [MediaMiner Member] On: April 19, 2007 16:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
Uhm, no. This has hit LOTS of pet peeves. 1) Flat characterization. The charas look like caricatures of their selves and that makes your story boring. Not to mention Ryoma is HORRIBLY OoC. 2) Your original character is a Mary Sue. She's there only to have everyone falling at her feet and bending all over to kiss her ass. 3) Tomoka bashing. You don't *have^* to like her, but writing her as a mega psycho bitch to make your Sue look better is a big NO-NO. Just leave her out if you hate her so much. 4) Your grammar and style needs working. This may be fanfiction, but it requires at least some *work*. :P Sorry, try again. And try HARDER.
| Reviewed By: White Alchemist Taya [MediaMiner Member] On: February 25, 2006 09:26 CST
Comment/Review:
Cool!!!!!! update soon!!!!! man, that was so like awesome!!!
| Title: Ugh.
Reviewed By: StRudolph_Mizuki [MediaMiner Member] On: October 27, 2005 21:08 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
Contrary to the comment above, I didn't find this fanfic enjoyable for several reasons. Your original character is a Mary Sue. Maybe look up the definition, ne? I suggest it. Ryoma was extremely out of character. Try improving on writing him before attempting to pair him with an original character of yours.
| Title: Loved it^^
Reviewed By: Kidara the Death Demon [MediaMiner Member] On: February 16, 2005 17:57 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
It was so cute, amazing, awsume, brilliant, spectacular, stupendis and a whole lot more of nice words I can\'t think of at the moment. My poor Eiji-boo(sob) Evil Inui and evil juice. Damn him for making my Eiji sick!! (cuties hide in corner)*Ahem* Sorry, got out of control for a monment hehe. (cuties have swetdrops) Hurry up and put your other chapters or else I\'ll sic my evil cuties on you (mmmhahahahahahahahaha!) *Ahem* Sorry again. If I don\'t behave myself I\'ll lose my Eiji(sob) (Eiji gives my a hug) so I loved the first chapter and it had my Eiji in it (jumps around like crazy) (cuties-swetdrop) Wel keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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