Reviewed By: Deaths Obsession [MediaMiner Member] On: April 03, 2005 14:35 CDT
Comment/Review:
This is kinda interesting but it seems more like a script than a story. You might want to try writing this in paragraph form and instead of writing Blue Kirby: "blah blah blah" say something like "blah blah blah," Blue Kirby replied. I don't know it just seems really repetitive the way that you have it. I hope that I haven't offended you but I think the purpose of these websites is not only to review stories that you really enjoy, but to give constructive criticism to help fellow authors. People don't really do that anymore. They're not willing to take the time to offer an opinion on how to improve upon a story so the author never really gets any feedback and doesn't understand what's wrong. I hope that I have helped. ~Deaths Obsession
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