| Title: FFARG|
Reviewed By: Sisi(Not signed in) On: June 14, 2005 08:07 CDT
At first I was confused at what the time tense of this story would be but I caught it where it changed. It's a bit confusing but altogether it has a pleasing effect, and I think that's what you were going for. (By the way I love Dragon knights) Overall this is a really good story, you have wonderful description and great images. I can see Thatz getting into a situation like that and he's wonderfully in character. It's a very good chapter, and I don't doubt you have the reason for all those traps in the chute in another chapter. Perhaps if you touched on a sliver of the reason why they're there a reader could remember quicker without having to look back at the last chapter? That's about all I have to work with Vuir, you're an excellent writer.