Title: FFARG
Reviewed By: Rini Saiyan-jin [MediaMiner Member] On: April 28, 2005 23:28 CDT
Comment/Review:
First up, nice use of poetry, I enjoyed reading it as though the music is playing in my head. Though, here are the critisms. Italics are yours in the story. Ok people. My second … WHOLE song. (It is recommended that you put those information inside the chapter summary so it won't disrupt the flow of the story. Especially at the beginning) Six lines of a song. *Below* OkOk (This is not necessary because we're readers, not dumb, don't underestimate the readers. This includes everything afterward this section about the lines. Also, I don't understand the '*below* okok' section. Looks like it was randomly placed there.) Yeah. Tourniquet by Evanescence. The reason I … summarizes. Weird sentence. (Again, this is not necessary, if you want to tell a story, don't 'talk' to the readers') Lastly, (Asking for reviews right after the story ends is a bit… redundant.) But those aside, the major part of the story, or should I say song ^_~, is really well, and love how you made the words work together to make it into a song in my mind. Nicely done, just work on beginning and the end of the story (before they actually do start or after the story ends). It's tasteful that way and in the long run, readers will may thank you for it.
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