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| "Visions of the Heart" Reviews/Comments [ 31 ] | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 > » ] | Reviewed By: Anette Chase [MediaMiner Member] On: March 22, 2006 11:09 CST
Comment/Review:
Oh my goodness, I love this! But, uh...I'm confused? Isn't Ryou supposed to be seventeen? That's been bugging me for a while, 'cause Ishtar said something about him being fifteen, so I just thought I'd ask.
| Reviewed By: cettie-girl [MediaMiner Member] On: December 15, 2005 14:33 CST
Comment/Review:
Yay! You updated and finished the story! Only... the rest of the "books" to go! ^_^ I liked the changes you made. They make a lot of sense to someone re-reading it. One question though, when did Yami and Yugi adopt the nicknames "Ki" and "Ka"? Does that happen sometime later than the spot that you stopped on ff.net at? You made Yuugi's dad dead? I know he's not in the original (I think Takahashi-sensei said that he was away on business trips), but I've written him as dead before too. (yay for plot bunnies?) I can't wait to read more! ^^ Oh, and... *puts on a santa hat and Christmas socks* Merry Christmas! ^_~
| Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 11, 2005 08:38 CST
Comment/Review:
Great ending. I hope you explain more in the next chapter. I loved it.
| Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 11, 2005 08:37 CST
Comment/Review:
This was great. I can't wait to read the last chapter.
| Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 11, 2005 08:33 CST
Comment/Review:
This was great. I can't wait to read the last chapter.
| Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 11, 2005 08:25 CST
Comment/Review:
I must say when you update you update. I am enjoying this immensly. Great updates.
| Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 11, 2005 08:00 CST
Comment/Review:
That was even worse than I imagined. Ushio is truly ( I can't even think of anything bad enough to call him) beating up Yugi and ryou is bad enough but to beat on an innocent blind person is just too much, I hope Bakura gets him good. Death is too good for him.
| Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 11, 2005 07:45 CST
Comment/Review:
Is Ryou nuts? Does he thin walking home alone will be easy? I hope he makes it without a problem Great update.
| Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 11, 2005 07:34 CST
Comment/Review:
This was great I hope you are over your writer's block and update soon.
| Title: chapter 12
Reviewed By: cettie_girl On: July 25, 2005 13:49 CDT
Comment/Review:
Chapter 12! Yay! And, yay for Wicked. Yes, I've seen it and love it, and have the sountracked memorised. *is a musical theatre geek* Poor Ryou. Just... poor Ryou. Was all of that basement part there before? I remember the prison bit, but I don't remember the haunting and the things in the basement. *hugs Ryou* I don't blame Yuugi and Malik, let alone everyone else for being so distraught. *sigh* being afraid of the dark when blind is NOT a good thing. Not at all. I agree with you that Yuugi is the kind of person who would do anything to save his friends, even if it meant giving himself in for something he didn't do. He's got quite a heart, that one, doesn't he? *hugs Yuugi* Yay for Ryou's first show of magic. That scene got me the first time too. Unfortunately, the arabic showed up as giberish on my computer... :( I noticed a couple spelling mistakes, like "opon" (should be upon). I know there was at least one other but I can't find it now. ^^; Hope to see more posted here soon! ^_^
| Title: chapter 11
Reviewed By: cettie_girl On: July 25, 2005 13:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
This review may be rather short in comparison with the others I have given. If so, I apologise. If not, then yay for pointless apologising! I love Yugi for sleeping in the bathtub. Slightly cute mental immage. He'd be the most likely to be comfortable there too, with the whole short factor going on and such... ^^; Sakura a reporter? I somehow can't see that happening, especially if I do indeed have the right Sakura in mind (CCS, right?). >.< Yay for Mokuba and Seto having their first ever inner fight, if you will. Lots more spacing out to come. So this is when Bakura finds himself to be alive once again. I thought he might have taken this as a good thing. Being alive generally is considered good at least... ^^; (And the others will gradually follow suit too! Yay!) Finally, yay for Isis blowing things up. Scary what people can leave lying around the house, isn't it? Just one more reason to stick to tea. :P Well, anyway, I hope you complete your goal (mind you, that would mean doing a lot of work/uploading over the next 5-6 days...). Whether or not you do, I hope to read more awesomeness soon. ^_^
| Title: Chapter 10
Reviewed By: cettie_girl On: July 13, 2005 21:49 CDT
Comment/Review:
...and the 3rd person tense that became the normal tense for the series was born. ^_^ Yay! Chapter 10! This was the ending of the story originally? I'm glad you continued. I mean... look at what this has become! It was really worth it, wasn't it. (and don't worry Unmei and Chiot, we all love you... ^_^) Yay for Yami Mokuba. I would laugh if Seto ever decided that he wanted to be called that rather than "Seto" or "Kaiba". That would be interesting... if a little scary. There are so many things that happen in this chapter that impact the rest of the series, isn't there? Besides the whole Seto and Mokuba sharing a body thing and the use of third person, there's also the first real signs of Yami Bakura both being nice, and having remorse for his actions. I love Yugi in this chapter, and how he acts as the person who's there to comfort whoever needs it. It sounds muchly like a position I would get myself into if needed.... And, as a final thought, thank goodness for a chapter with a non-cliffhanger ending! :P
| Title: Chapter 9
Reviewed By: cettie_girl On: July 13, 2005 21:28 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ouch. Almost having your heart literally removed from your body by the mind controlled spirit of a teenage CEO cannot be fun. Thank goodness for people collaborating to get Ryou and 'Kura out of there. I'm curious. Did you make up the words of the spell/the spell itself, or is it based on something? You may have answered this in the original version, but I forget. ^^; *is glad no one was turned into a penguin as Isis suggested might happen* (why did that line make me picture someone being trapped as a little penguin PLUSHIE?) For the record, the line "For the love of Funny Bunny, look at Kaiba" had me giggling for a few minutes. I can really hear Pegasus saying it... but... *giggles* It's just so perfect... Poor Kaiba/Pegasus/Jonathon, trapped in the shadow realm... (yes, I remember what happens to Kaiba-kun, but that's beside the point at the moment). Having your soul trapped in one realm, while your body remains unable to take you back mustn't be a fun ordeal... At least their souls aren't being sacrificed in order to bring forth some sort of great beast... ^^; Anyways, great chappie once again. ^_^
| Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 12, 2005 12:13 CDT
Comment/Review:
I love it!! I will not even hazard a guess of what Ryou did. I hope they get everything straightenend out and Get Ryou his sight back. Update soon, please!
| Title: chapter 8
Reviewed By: cettie_girl On: July 09, 2005 20:42 CDT
Comment/Review:
Good use of emotion in this chaper. I loved how distraught you made Mokuba here. I mean... anyone would be upset and want revenge if they just saw their beloved older brother die before their eyes... *hugs Mokie* I also enjoyed Joey's whole "lack of evil spirits" thing. That was good. ^_^ Poor Ryou... the locking rituals are not fun. For some reason, I thought they weren't until "All Saint's Night". Shows how long it's been since I last read these, eh? Yay for rereading, and yay for editing and reposting, I suppose. ^^;
| Reviewed By: Angelic_girl(notlogedin) On: July 06, 2005 01:59 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
the plot get better and better! great job! wow bakuras mortal didnt see that one comming....
| Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 06, 2005 01:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
Good chapter. I know they could probably explain it but they would lose too much time. Love the chapter. Please update soon.
| Reviewed By: emeraldisles On: June 29, 2005 21:19 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really really enjoyed this fic. To tell the truth, this is my first review as well. At the end, it was was one of the cliff hanger moments. Please keep writing. It was amazing!
| Title: chapter 7
Reviewed By: cettie_girl On: June 17, 2005 19:49 CDT
Comment/Review:
Kaiba died this early on? I had forgotten that fact... Why, though, am I getting a mental immage of little creatures appearing out of thin air and dancing around singing "Ding Dong, the Kaiba's Dead"? >.< Anyway... I like how you have Bakura's internal struggling here. It resolves the question I asked last time more or less. ^^; I seriously can't belive how much of the plot I had forgotten from the first time I read this! Great chapter overall, keep up the great revising and reposting-ness! ^_^
| Title: chapter 6
Reviewed By: cettie_girl On: June 15, 2005 18:06 CDT
Comment/Review:
Once again, proof that it's a good thing that Malik, not Yuugi found Ryou. Malik can indeed handle this sort of thing better. ^_~ I love the Joey thing in this chapter. Appearing out of nowhere cheery and completely clueless = awesome. *grins* It's the little things like that that makes it great to reread things because they are forgettable, but very giggle-worthy. ^_^ One thing that I'm curious aobut is why Yami Bakura seems so nice in this chapter. I realize that he's supposed to go good, but either I'm forgetting something, or the change seems too sudden, unless he's just trying to protect Ryou because otherwise he would die, which would be bad because he still needs Ryou's body to be alive in order to keep his own form. Is that right at all? *_* Anyway... good chapter, and I love the slightly messed up smiley at the beginning. ^^;
| Reviewed By: Hikari Girl On: June 13, 2005 18:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
That was awsom! Thow kinda sad. (por Kiba)T_T Please update soon. Im dying to know what will happen next.^_^
| Reviewed By: Angelic_girl [MediaMiner Member] On: June 13, 2005 13:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
great story!! plez let their be more!!
| Title: chapter 5
Reviewed By: cettie_girl On: June 12, 2005 20:34 CDT
Comment/Review:
*crawls out of a large pile of homework* Chapter 5 looks good. You know, one thing that I definately didn't remember from before was the fact that the first bit was in different POVs, unlike the general 3rd person one of the main bit of the story. Hmm... is the answer to the math question -7.7? *feels like a geek because she had the instinct to pull out her calculater and solve the question Yuugi was asking Yami* Yay for Yami being horrible beyond all reason at math! Poor Ryou... he's feeling so bad right now... *huggles him* The locking rituals are bad. And Ryou's so weak right now... hooray for the fact that he has people there to support him as he suffers through it! (And Unmei, do not fear. You've already been through this once, so you already know you can survive it again... right?) Overall, good chapter. I enjoyed rereading it. ^_^
| Reviewed By: cettie_girl On: June 11, 2005 10:37 CDT
Comment/Review:
Poor Ryou... Wow. So... that *was* a major change for the rewrite. Jonathon was much more... erm... not an evil dude in disguise in the original version. (Yes, I actually went back to the original to double check my hunch that it was really Jonathon originally... -_-) Poor Ryou. Even when people are supposedly trying to help him, he gets hurt even more... *hugs him close* Awesome chapter oveall. ^_^. No minor nitpicky things this time... Yay for explanation of why Bakura isn't blind too! (It's shorter and with less twitching... ^^;)
| Title: dragonlady222
Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 09, 2005 02:07 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yay! Seto's got a new body, granted it's very small and he has to share but now he's so much cuter. Update soon please!
| Reviewed By: cettie_girl On: June 08, 2005 18:29 CDT
Comment/Review:
Yes, this is seeming like spamming thus far... but more reviews = good, right? *hopes she's right* Y'know, I hate the fact that this puts everything into one big paragraph, but meh. Now, I really should be talking about the fic here, shouldn't I? So... chapter 3. I stand by what I said before. Very glad that Malik found Ryou rather than Yuugi. Ryou's whole wimpering thing, and the comparison to a starved animal are so cute. Sad in a "poor Ryou" sense, but definitely very cute. I'm a little curious about the second last parargaph. It seems to be suddenly in 3rd person, when it deals with (if I remember correctly, which I think I do...) Bakura, who was talking in 1st person up to that point. It's Bakura recognizing Jonathon, is it not? So... that's my little nitpicky thing of the chapter... (sorry...) Overall, poor Ryou. As I said before, he's so hurt... in such bad condition, and yet manages to come off as being cute beyond all reason. By the way, just out of pure curiosity, when does Ryou learn to read braile? I mean... it makes sense that he learns it, but I don't believe you mention exactly when in here. Is it safe to assume that he just got the basics fairly fast or something? Anyway, excellent chapter, yay for re-posting and re-reading! (Oh, and Unmei, I'd help you, but unfortunately, that would require breaking the 4th wall, which is creaking ominously enough as it is... -_-;)
| Title: dragonlady222
Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 07, 2005 13:45 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love it. I also love Seto! I hope they find a way to help everyone soon! Keep up the great work and Update, SOON, Please. Puppydog eyes. :-P
| Reviewed By: cettie_girl On: June 05, 2005 18:21 CDT
Comment/Review:
So, I've decided I'm going to review every chapter if I can. I hope you don't mind if it ends up seeming like spamming (but then, I'm hoping that more people will R&R regularily too...) Wow. It's been a long time since I read this for the first time. I totally forgot most of the plot in this first story (besides, of course, Ryou gets blinded due to Yami Bakura, but then, how could one forget that? I'm really glad that I am rereading it again. It's as good the second time around as the first, I assure you. ^_^ Poor Ryou... It's a good thing that people who are not his yami do care enough about him to help him out, though I think that it is good that Malik, rather than Yuugi found him. Something tells me that Yuugi would have freaked out a little too much... Malik could take it a little better at least... Oh. And yay for swimming trunks. Just a question: did Ryou go blind right after his 15th or 17th birthday? You mention him being 15 here, but I believe I remember you saying that it happened just after his 17th elsewhere.
| Reviewed By: cettie_girl On: June 03, 2005 19:34 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
You know, I was planning on rereading these stories this summer, so this is even more awesome. (yay for coincidences that selfishly work out... if that makes any sense whatsoever...) You know, reading this again, I'm noticing things that I didn't before. Like... it never registered with me that Ryou managed to break the window when receiving the blow that left him blind. Or that he swore here. Of course, you could have added some of these in, since you are revising things. Still, it's really interesting rereading this. Mind you, I'm not sure if that's how someone's eyes would go if they were made blind, but hey! It works here. Plus, the state of a character's eyes is a minor enough thing that it really doesn't matter if it's realistic or not, unless there is something about them that is a major part of the story and explains millions of things by the time you're done reading the entire thing. In this story though, from what I remember/what is written so far, just knowing that he's blind works. ^^; I noticed a typo, just so you know. It should read " First he'd drag me over to the bedposts and tie me down, then he'd get his whip... " (not "tot eh") Anyways, here's to the chapter that started it all. Long live the Tales of the Child of Fate!
| Title: dragonlady222
Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 18, 2005 07:48 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Love this story. Update soon
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