Reviewed By: Lady Macbeth [MediaMiner Member] On: December 21, 2001 22:52 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Sad. ;_; This is definite angst. It doesn't help that I'm a Trunks/Pan 'shipper either - it just makes it that more sad of a story. But, that's what angst is about, ne? ~_^
Your style of writing is poetic, and it fits very nicely with the song, making it seem almost like a long poem or poetic narrative. It's a smooth read that feels soft and gentle the whole way through.
There were a couple of small spelling/grammar mistakes in the fic, and a few of your sentences felt like they were stunted, which is usually caused by a sentence fragment. In a couple of places, though, it seemed in keeping with Trunks's broken thoughts, so I wasn't sure if it was intentional or not.
The idea behind it speaks of a creative muse, but it was so short that it got lost a little bit. This is definitely a fic that I would like to see get developed into something longer and meatier at some time!
This was a very enjoyable read. It had the emotion and sensations necessary to display the angst in the fic, and it really pulls the reader in, making them want to read more...so write more, onegai! ^_^
Overall, this is a great song fic, meeting all the requirements of a short, angsty Christmas story without being in the least bit boring. Again, I'd like to see more of this storyline! |
