Title: Excellent Work
Reviewed By: Jurodan [MediaMiner Member] On: January 16, 2006 18:53 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This was one of the most original (non-crack) stories I have read for the Naruto fandom. You wrote a simple theme story, but wrote it in detail. The characters acted accordingly (well, we technically don't know most of the characters really, but they seem to be acting the part very well). The decision by Hiashi to take his own life is an interesting one, and one that will forever alter all the other characters. You did a very good job with this, showing that the relationship between Neji and Hinata will not splinter as a result, but in all likelihood strengthen immensely. Hinata was portrayed beautifully in this place, acting the part of the child she truly is at this point with nigh perfection. Her mousy qualities, inabiity to speak up to people who are older than her, her fear and inability to show it, all are greatly detailed. Neji has not had time to become cynical and never will since his father will not only survive, but also be able to teach him more than he ever would have the chance to in the show. The hatred between the main house and the branch house will be stopped almost immediately because of this, giving some of the other branch members hope for the future, but also because Hizashi will be teaching Hinata, and I have no doubt that there will be a complete healing of the rift by her since she is technically being brought up by a member of the branch house. The only things that I had trouble with were the words that were not translated, it took me a while to figure out what chichiue was, but I knew most of the others offhand. Of course, I could consider Hinata saying that sort of word at that age, and it was a nice touch, but the first time I read it I had to re-read it and then go to look up the word. Other than that small point, this story was a marvel to read, and I enjoyed it immensely.
|
