|
| "InuYasha in Court" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] | Title: Not bad for Self Insertion, funny too
Reviewed By: rpgingmaster [MediaMiner Member] On: June 28, 2005 12:44 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Normally, I'm not a fan of Self Insertion, unless its a MST or it is written very well, but this was funny. The grammar was more than a little off, but I can forgive that, and even though the premise was a bit cliched (i.e- the original characters putting the canon characters through a trial), it was funny, so the cliche factor is irrelevant. Also, I love how, despite the SI factor, it was avoided the "author characters take center stage and the canon characters remain solely for marquee value" curse that plauges this genre, though to be fair, they did get a sizable amount of fic time, regardless. In closing, I must say that I agree with you (InuGhost). Locking Inuyasha and Kagome in the same room probably would only result in both of them starving to death before they admitted true love, but it IS an idea, and, who knows, it might work. Again, this was FUNNY!!!!!!
| Reviewed By: Sakota [MediaMiner Member] On: June 18, 2005 19:27 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
high five Inu ^_^ that was funnnnnny! keep up the insane storys.
| Title: Oh, dear...
Reviewed By: Talim & Malik On: June 17, 2005 22:07 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Talim: FUNNYFUNNYFUNNYFUNNY!!!!! (clasps hands together) MOREMOREMOREMORE!!!! WHEEEEEEEE!!!! Malik: Who gave her sugar? Talim: CHOCOLATECHOCOLATECHOCOLATECHOCOLATE!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! Malik: (sigh) Suggestions for upcoming ones are- Talim: SSSSUUUUUUGGGGAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! Malik:(grits teeth)Shippo vs. InuYasha, Kohaku vs. Naraku, Kikyo vs. Naraku, and- Talim:(off sugar-high)every female alive vs. that damn perverted monk Miroku. Malik: Gods, not this again... Talim: YOU have it easy, Mr. You don't have priestesses asking to bear your children(goes on ranting) For reason on spelling and grammer, see above.
| Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: MissMusicality [MediaMiner Member] On: June 15, 2005 11:05 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thank you for submitting you fic! I enjoyed it and it was just what I needed for a laugh! Well done! I did notice a few things, though. Your very first line is missing punctuation: "It was a bright sunny day the kind of day where...." This could be solved with either a (-) or a (,) between "day" and "the." You are also missing a comma before you address someone, all througout the fic. Whenever someone is being addressed and is called by their name, you need a comma before their name, and sometimes even after. For example: "Okay(,) guys(,) I brought us lunch...." Another example: "Though I do agree with Sango(,) Kagome(,) this food looks...." You are also missing commas surrounding some of your actions, and when that happens, you create a run-on sentence. For example: "Picking up a bowl of rice and putting some food on top(,) Miroku happily started eating(,) oblivious to the dour looks he was getting from the others." Many of these punctuation mistakes can be easily fixed. And some of the commas I put in aren't completely and totally necessary, but help to clarify and sort out your sentence structures. If you do not have a beta (someone who is skilled with grammar and writing to check over your work,like an editor) then I suggest you get one. Betas are valuable, and every good writer should have one. In the forums there is a section on betas and it contains a list of many people willing to do beta work. A beta can help you fix the minor mistakes. Other than that, great job!
|
|
|
