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| "Out of Time" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Title: More Encouragement
Reviewed By: Ohagi-chan On: August 24, 2005 20:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I loved how you displayed the characters emotions and thoughts. You made them seem as if they were right there in front us. You're very talented, and I encourage you to write more of this story! I'll be reading it as soon as it comes out! Sayonara!
| Reviewed By: dragon618543 On: August 05, 2005 00:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
This is truly amazing story, and i was amazed by the flow you managed to keep going throught the story. I would've gone crazy if i had tried to write that.Interesting word-play.One of the best Fan Fictions I've ever read (and I've read a lot). Sadly i am only a reader of fanfic, not a writer of it. The few tries that i have made at it didn't work. It just didn't work.some people have the gift of being a good/great writer, you are one of them, and i am not, sadly. If you keep writing, ill keep reading,
| Title: FFRG Review
Reviewed By: Sueric [MediaMiner Member] On: June 18, 2005 21:57 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thanks for submitting to FFRG! I just finished reading your first chapter, and while I feel that you have a very solid foundation, there were a few things that I felt I should remark on. First and foremost, the overabundance of Japanese terms are quite overdone. While I can see using some of them when necessary, I think that many of them can and should be replaced. Very few readers will understand many of these terms, and if the reader must spend more time flipping to the end of the chapter to get a translation than they are spending reading, then they're going to give up fairly fast. Another thing that I wanted to remark on was the overuse of short, choppy sentences that could easily be combined to create a much smoother flow. On the other hand, very good dialogue, overall interesting concept, and nice grammar skills shows your care in crafting this story. I felt that the characters seemed quite real through speech, and other than the few things mentioned, I found your opening chapter to be very well done. Thank you for submitting to FFRG!
| Reviewed By: bobbyneko On: June 16, 2005 10:46 CDT
Comment/Review:
^-^ this is so cool. kudos for originality! update soon!!
| Reviewed By: Honebar On: June 16, 2005 09:34 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Comment/Review:
Now this is different. I have to say I like it and I hope you continue this.
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