Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Ishida and Ichigo: 18 themes of Love (or something like it) ❯ Hollow ( Chapter 14 )

Title: Hollow

Author: Christina/AquaianGoddess

Rating: PG-16

Summary: There's a hole in Ichigo's life, and he doesn't like it

Warnings: Ichigo angst.

Disclaimer: Sadly they're not mine, I just like to play with them, then return them only slightly rumpled and stained.

 

14) A Hole in the World

 

Ichigo was pissed. More than pissed. He was angry. Really, truly, honest-to-God-ly angry. He hadn't felt this way in a long time. And it was all because Ishida was avoiding him. Ichigo could understand that if he had done something to deserve it, he may be working on apologizing for it. But he hadn't done anything to deserve it.

 

So what the fuck was Ishida's problem?!

 

Ichigo seethed about it and ranted to Rukia (who was actually a little frightened of Ichigo and his rage, because Ichigo's spirit pressure was so thick and heavy and choking she couldn't breathe) and threw things and hit things until he had thoroughly exhausted himself to the point where he just collapsed on his floor, chest heaving (was he crying? Every gasp for breath sounded like a sob...), and an arm over his eyes.

 

Rukia had knelt next to him, then, shifting him so his head was in her lap and she was stroking his hair, murmuring softly to him until he calmed down.

 

"I was happy." He murmured, finally. "When we were together I was happy. When did I start to think of it as a relationship?"

 

"Ichigo...." Rukia wanted to cry at the utter defeat in the boy's voice. He had been happier with Ishida, the lines in his forehead smoothing out a little more each day, and the pleased feeling his spirit energy had as it curled around him. But that was gone now, lines deeper than ever and his mouth drawn into a scowl when around others.

 

"I mean, when you're sleeping with someone, you're bound to notice things, right?" Ichigo looked up at her, eyes only a little wild and desperate. She nodded, continuing to stroke his hair. "And you don't really realize you notice these things, so you don't really realize that you're acting on them. Like, that time when he was over help Yuzu, Karin and me make cranes?" The last time he had seen him, he meant. "It wasn't until after he left that I noticed I had gotten his favorite drink for him... would that have scared him off? Thinking that I was starting to, I dunno, feel something more for him?"

 

"Ichigo, when you're sleeping with someone, you're bound to develop feelings for them. Whether those feelings are ones of affection, or resentment..." Rukia let the sentence hang, not wanting to put what she think happened into words, lest she hurt Ichigo more than he already was.

 

"You're saying Ishida's come to hate me, even though this whole damn thing was his fucking idea, though I've grown fond of him?" Ichigo spat, rolling onto his side to that he wasn't looking at her.

 

"Maybe. Or maybe Ishida's come to be fond of you as well and is frightened by his feelings, thus he's pulling away before he gets too attached." Ichigo gave her a dubious look and Rukia scowled, a fair copy of Ichigo's own scowl (which would've amused him at any other time). "It happens in romance manga all the time, so don't give me that look."

 

"I have trouble believing that." Ichigo scowled more. "Not the part about it happening in your stupid manga, but the part about that being the reason Ishida just left."

 

"We don't know anything until we can talk to Ishida."

 

Ichigo stared at her. "I'm not going to talk to him! I'm not going to fucking beg him to take me back like some pathetic woman!"

 

"Hey! Women are not-"

 

"I said pathetic woman, not all women are pathetic." Ichigo cut her off with a growl.

 

Rukia sighed, and told Kon to grab the pillow off Ichigo's bed.

 

"Where are you going?"

 

"To get some answers." Rukia said as she replaced her lap with the pillow and told Kon to stick by Ichigo.

 

Ichigo grumbled a bit at this, but when the stuffed plushie started to stroke Ichigo's hair, he fell silent and curled on his side. "I'll leave the window open."

 

Rukia nodded and leapt out into the night.