Digimon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ *~The TAD Fics~* ❯ A Tad Little Story that Makes no Sense ( Chapter 5 )

DISCLAIMER: You all know what I'm gonna say...I don't own Pokémon or Digimon and there is no such thing as Pokémon whore magazine or Digimon whore magazine (BROCK: *Does a funny disappointed moaning sound*) and after reading that I bet your all scared now ^_^

AUTHORS NOTE: Well well well lookie what I wrote...another insane "Tad" fic...all I have to say is that I was very very very very very high on coca cola at the time (*works faster than pepsi trust me*) so I wrote this story that actually has no story line to it what so ever. Before you start reading I must say that I'm sorry if mummymon, Arukenimon, BlackWarGreymon or Oikawa are out of character cos I'm English and haven't seen them yet (*okay I've seen Arukenimon a few times*) but remember this is a "Tad" fic so I pride myself on making the characters different. Okay that's enough of that...

A tad little story that makes no sense
by Togepi

It's 11:05pm at night and Togepi, the evil, insane yet nice fanfic writer decided it was time for the 5th installment of her insane "Tad" fics.

"But what can I do...?" she asked herself while sat at her temperamental computer, that one day will rule the world. "...lets see, I've already revealed that Togepi is evil, that professors Oak and Ivy are Digimon, and that Tracey is a total jerk who somehow gave birth to Togepi clones and who is also Ash's father...what next?"

The writer reached for her one hundred and third glass of cola that day and now was pretty tipsy on the stuff....cola, a very bad addiction to have, don't drink it kids!

"How about you do a digimon Tad fic" suggested veemon who just happened to come out of nowhere.

"Yeah..." agreed Davis. "...then I can rescue the wonderful Kari from lots of evil Digimon"

"If you two don't shut up..." threatened the writer. "...I'll set mummymon on you and get him to kiss you both!"

Assorted "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww" sounds came from the two digimon characters then Veemon scratched his head.

"You barley know who Mummymon is, you being English and all"

"Doesn't mean I can't use him" the writer snapped back, she then whacked the two over the head with a paper fan, cos she felt like it. then she got an idea for a story and began to franticly ty.....

COMPUTER CRASHES

"DAMN THING!"

...........................typing on the keyboard............................

A whole bunch of Pokémon and digimon characters appear in the middle of a field, they all look around completely confused to what was going on.

BROCK: - (*Looking extremely confused*) Okay.....I'm completely lost

MISTY: - (*To Brock*) Maybe you should try opening your eyes Brock!

ARUKENIMON: - Does anyone here have the slightest clue what's going on? One minute I'm trying to create DarkBartSimpsonmon from a control spire, the next I'm stood in the middle of a field with kids that have no eyes (*she points to Brock*)

BROCK: - (*sulks*) Leave my eyes alone! (*He then notices who just insulted him so he automatically runs over to Arukenimon and instantly begins to flirt with her*) Hi I'm Brock! God must be a thief, he stole two stars from the sky just to make your eyes!

MISTY: - That was an unusually good chat up line for Brock!

MUMMYMON: - (*Sulks*) He's hittin on my girl

(*Arukenimon then thumps Brock on the head causing him to fall to the floor unconscious*)

TK: - (*To Mummymon*) I think your girl is hitting on him

(*Everyone laughs, all except Ash*)

ASH: - I don't get it!

IZZY: - Anyway if god did take two stars to make Arukenimon's eyes he wouldn't be stealing them as he made them so techniqully they'd be his

TAI: - Anyway who'd be able to tell, she always wears those dark shades

ARUKENIMON: - (*Threatening Tai*) Say anything bad about my eyes and you'll regret it

JAMES: - She's scarier than Jesse (*Jesse scowls at him and he cowers*)

TAI: - (*To Arukenimon *) Oh so whatcha gonna do? Send one of your big bad walkin' talkin' control spires after me

CODY: - Tai's being unusually cocky

(*Arukenimon turns to Blackwargreymon*)

ARUKENIMON:- GET THIS FOOL (*points to Tai*)

BLACKWARGREYMON: - (*sat at a table, in the middle of this field, playing cards with Mewtwo, myotismon, piedmon and Mew*) "Do I have to, I'm busy!

MEW: - (*puts the cards that she was holding on the table*) FULL HOUSE

PIEDMON: - (*sweatdrop*) We're playing Poker? I thought we were playing Go fish

MYOTISMON: - Really? I thought we were playing snap

MEWTWO: - Mew cheats! Get her!

(*Mew picks up all the money they were betting on the table and flies off with the others running after her, Arukenimon just sighs*)

ARUKENIMON:- Good help is so hard to find (*turns to Oikawa*) U....the fanfic writer barely knows you but you go and kill that boy!

OIKAWA: - Life is cruel and ugly, goodbye cruel world (*He jumps off a cliff*)

DAVIS: - Why did the fanfic writer just have Oikawa jump off a cliff?

HAWKMON: - And where did the cliff come from in the first place?

VEEMON: - Maybe he was bungee jumping...without the bungee part

MISTY: - Nah, it's just cos the writer sees oikawa as a terminally depressed guy

EVERYBODY: - Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh!

ARUKENIMON: - Has everyone forgotten that I'm supposed to be getting someone to kill that digi-destined with the big hair

JESSE: - Which ones that? they all have big hair

ASH: - Never mind that...(*He points to Arukenimon*) ...I challenge you to a battle against Pikachu!

ARUKENIMON: - Fine child, have it your way, I accept your challenge!

BROCK: - WOW a digimon against a Pokémon, this should be interesting!

MISTY - (*To Brock*) Aren't you supposed to be unconscious?

BROCK: - Oh yeah... (*Falls to the floor unconscious again*)

TRACEY: - Okay this is a one on one match is against Arukenimon and pikachu, no time limit, now begin! (*A boulder falls on Tracey's head killing him instantly*)

ASH: - (*To Pikachu*) Okay pikachu Thundershock now

PIKACHU: - (*nervously*) I'm not to sure about this Ash

ASH: -(*Angry*) Nonsense Pikachu, now stop being a complete wuss an attack

PIKACHU: - (*Even angrier*) Well at least my mother isn't on the cover of Pokémon whore magazine

ASH: - (*Extremely angry*) My mother isn't on the cover of Pokémon whore magazine

MISTY: - Er Ash...(*She pulls out a copy of "pokémon whore magazine" from Brock's backpack*) ...your mother is on the cover

ASH: Son of a...

MISTY: - (*still routing through Brock's bag*) Ohhhhhh what's this? (*She pulls out a copy of "Digimon whore magazine" with a very revealing picture of Arukenimon on the cover*)

ARUKENIMON: - (*sweatdrop*) I was young and needed the money!

MISTY: - It's this weeks issue

ARUKENIMON: - (*snatches the magazine from Misty*) FINE WHATEVER (*turns to Ash*) Can we battle now?"

ASH: - Of course, as long as Pikachu doesn't reveal any more dirty secrets about my mother"

PIKACHU: - It's not my fault your mother is a total slut

MISTY: - (*sweatdrop*) Is the fanfic writer feeling okay? She never usually writes such offensive words

TAI: - A lot of people are gonna hate her after this!

ASH: - (*To Pikachu*) PIKACHU THUNDERSHOCK NOOOOOOOOOOOW!

Pikachu runs towards arukenimon cheeks sparking yada yada blah, but before it can shock her she kicks it hard and Pikachu flies through the air.

PIKACHU: - Looks like pikachu's blasting off....for the first time Everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (*He disappears in the sky with a "ping"*)

ASH: - (*running after him*)No Pikachu come back to me I secretly love you don't leave meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

TRACEY: - (*cheerfully* )Arukenimon is the winner (*Togepi then shoots Tracey dead with his bazooka*)

TOGEPI: - I'm sick and tired of him coming back from the dead

JESSE: - (*To Arukenimon*) Okay I challenge you to battle my Wobbuffet

WOBBUFFET: - (*pops out of it's Pokéball*) Wobbuffet

ARUKENIMON: - (*laughs*) and what exactly does that constipated blue blob of goo do?

JESSE: - You'll see

ARUKENIMON: - FINE I except your challenge! (*attacks*) Spirit needle! (*Does Arukenimon have any more attacks than that one? I've only seen her use this one and Wobbuffet isn't exactly a control spire*)

DAVIS: - It isn't? Sure looks like one to me!

KARI: - Davis...that's a real control spire your looking at not Wobbuffet

JESSE: - (*To wobbuffet*) Wobbuffet counter attack (*Wobbuffet uses it's attack and sends Arukenimon flying off into the sky*)

ARUKENIMON: - (*not pleased*) I guess Arukenimon is blasting off herself (*Disappears into the sky with a "ping"*)

MUMMYMON: - (*running after her*) Don't leave me, my sweet

Everyone stands in total silence

YOLEI: - So...what do ya all wanna do now?

JAMES: - I dunno, what do you wanna do?

YOLEI: - I dunno, what do you wanna do?

JAMES: - I dunno, what do you wanna do?

TOGEPI: - (*sighs*) It's gonna be one of those fics

Meanwhile....in viridian City somewhere, Giovanni, leader of Team Rocket is totally bladdered and is singing as he stumbles down the street.

GIOVANNI: - (*singing out of tune*) LoVe sTruCk, I'vE FaLLeN fOR a LamPoSt, GiVIng hEr My UPmoSt, SpILLIn OUt mY DeEpEst FeELIngS..." (*He then stops walking and turns to a nearby lamppost*) How you doin'...... (*obviously the lamppost doesn't reply as it's an inanimate object*) Shy ey?....Well I know how to cure that!

Back with the Pokémon and Digimon characters they have all gone for a little walk.

MATT: - Hey, I was wondering. Does this fanfic actually have a storyline?

Suddenly Matt vanishes and then appears in an even greener field full of bunnies.

MATT: - Bunnies? Is that supposed to scare me?

Just then the Teletubbies run out of the hills and hug Matt.

TELETUBBIES: - BIG HUG!

MATT: - ARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Matt then re-appears back with the others, he immediately hides behind Jesse.

MATT: - (*panicking*) NEVER EVER LET THAT INSANE FANFIC WRITER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!

Jesse just whacks him with a paper fan. just then they see arukenimon and Mummymon who, by the magic of fanfic writing, appear in front of the gang dressed as team Rocket members.

ARUKENIMON: - Prepare for trouble.....

MUMMYMON: - And make it double......

JESSE: - (*quite angry*) HOW DARE YOU STEAL OUR MOTTO!

JAMES: - (*Also angry*) This is an insult!

ARUKENIMON: - (*continuing the motto*) This fanfic is a load of crap!

MUMMYMON: - I listen to eminem cos he can rap!

ARUKENIMON: - The writer can't at all rhyme!

MUMMYMON: - She's high on Pepsi all the time!

ARUKENIMON: - Arukenimon!

MUMMYMON: - Mummymon!

ARUKENIMON: - (*poses*) We blasted off at the speed of light!

MUMMYMON: - Now we're back so prepare to fight!

(*suddenly BlackWarGreymon appears*)

BLACKWARGREYMON: - Blackwargreymon that's right!

JESSE: - (*who's not a very happy bunny*) "THAT'S IT I'M GETTING PEED OFF WITH YOU TWO NOW!" (*suddenly she whips out a stick thing from behind her back which has a head that looks like a duck .... or something*) "EVIL DIGIMON CARDS RETURN TO YOUR ORIGINAL FORMS!

Arukenimon, Mummymon and BlackWarGreymon turn...into digimon trading cards and fall to the ground. Jesse smiles and picks them up.

JAMES: - (*To Jesse*) U watched cardCaptors again didn't you?

JESSE: - Do you think the boss will trade me his rare holographic charizard for these three digimon cards?

JAMES: - Maybe

MEOWTH: - (*as they walk away*) Why haven't I said one thing in this fic?

TRACEY: - (*after Team Rocket leave*) Woah, I have to sketch this!

TOGEPI: - Sketch what? there's nothing here?

TRACEY: - (*Looks around*) oh yeah...

TOGEPI: - (*sighs*) Face it, you're better off dead! (*With that Togepi hits Tracey over the head with his bazooka killing him, then he walks away*)

Meanwhile, in the Team rocket game corner in celadon city, Mew is betting all her money she won in the card game.

MEW: - (*To the betting dude*) Put it all on 25 black

MEWTWO: - (*Runs up to her*) No! Mew you'll lose all your money

MEW: - Why do you care? You evil genetically modified creature!

MEWTWO: - (*sulks*) that one really hurt

Mewtwo stops Mew from making the bet and it lands and 15 red.

MEW: - (*gasp*) If you hadn't of stopped me I could of lost ALL of my money. OH I LOVE YOU MEWTWO!

MEWTWO: - I love you too

The two throw their arms around each other and kiss. from across the betting table, Gatomon and Wizardmon are watching.

WIZARDMON: - Okay THIS is getting weird!

GATMON: - Come on lets go before the writer makes me marry a ham sandwich or something!

The two leave

Back with Jesse, James and Meowth, they were in the TRHQ. They walk through Giovanni's office door to find him doing unimaginable things to a lamppost.

GIOVANNI: - (*coughs nervously*) I didn't have sexual relations with this lamppost

MEOWTH: - Yeah right!

GIOVANNI: - Well I can assure you that it has absolutely nothing to do with the Japanese mafia

JESSE: - (*Trying her hardest not to laugh*) Well we'll just ...erm... leave ya to it

They back off out of the door and as soon as they close it they burst out laughing and walk off.

Will Arukenimon, Mummymon and BlackWarGreymon ever return? Will Togepi ever kill Tracey for good? Will Giovanni ever admit he has a lamppost problem? Is it really Ash's mother on the front cover of "Pokémon whore magazine" and how much exactly does she get paid for that? All these questions and more will.....probably not be answered but, hell, it was fun writing this while it lasted....later dayz!

THE END!