Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction / Naruto Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ 2 Worlds Collide: Back Home ❯ Etiquette for Dummies ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

2 Worlds Collide: Back Home

Chapter Five

Etiquette for Dummies

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the Inuyasha or Full-Metal Alchemist characters!

Summary: Alexis, Alex, and Whitney are back again and funnier then ever! After the gang survived for weeks in an alternate universe, they comeback to find Demons, Ninja's, and Alchemists are a regular part of society! Not to mention they are all married and have kids of their own while they themselves are only 16! So if this isn't shocking enough, they all find they are basically royalty in the business world! Can the girls handle this shocking turn of events? One thing for sure, we are in for a lot of laughs…

“Mommy….. Mommmy?” Ed Jr. whispered shaking his mom lightly and staring at her. “…Mommy?” He said louder. “…Momm…”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT?!” She yelled bolting up.

“What was that?” Ed said waking up.

“It's nothing, its just our kid. Quit bothering me.” Alex said drowsily. “What is it?” She asked turning to her kid.

“Mommy? I had a nightmare.” He said shyly.

“Oh, ok. Go back to bed then…”

“What, no that's mean! You're his mom, you got to comfort him.” Ed sighed. Alex looked over at the clock where it read 4:27.

“Ed, my comforting side stops at midnight.” Alex said plainly.

“Alex…”

“Ok, alright! Come on into bed ummm….uhhh…eeerrrr….”

“Ed Jr.” Ed finished.

“Yeah, come…. Wait Ed Jr.? How come we named him that when he looks exactly like…. Never mind.” Alex motioned the boy to go between them.

“Looks like who?” Ed asked.

“NOONE! Just go to sleep!” Alex said laying back down and closing her eyes as Ed Jr. snuggled into her. `Finally some sleep.' Alex sighed. She should have known better, because just as she thought that Ed started snoring loudly. Alex sat up slowly looking at him. She poked his nose slightly. He grunted and snored louder. “God damnit he has a volume up button but no volume down.” She grumbled and picked up a pillow and slowly put it over his head. Ed woke up suddenly and Alex laid down pretending to be asleep.

“What the hell are you trying to suffocate me?” Ed growled sitting up.

“Ed go to sleep already.” Alex groaned. Ed sighed and laid back down falling asleep and snoring once again, but not as loud. Just as she thought it wouldn't get any harder to sleep Ed Jr. Started to thrash around kicking and punching Alex who eventually fell off the bed. “Gosh!” She hissed getting back into bed and laying down peacefully since Ed and Ed Jr. stopped. “Finally. God loves me.” She said.

“NO I DON'T.” A voice boomed.

“I'm going crazy he does. If he didn't he would make it harder to go back to sleep.” *Crash* Thunder sounded right after some lightening and a downpour of rain. “Oh well, no biggie. Rain is good.” Alex sighed and started falling asleep before she felt it again. She was being watched. Opening one eye she looked off to the side and found three little girls there about 2 inches from her face. “Holy Crap!” Alex exclaimed sitting up.

“Mommy, we're scared.” One of them said cutely. The bed was huge, so there was still enough room.

“Ok come on… hop in.” Alex said patting the bed and allowing one girl on the edge of the bed and the other two between her and Ed along with Ed Jr. She fell asleep soon, but was awakened even sooner.

“Mommy…. Mommmy….Mommy!” The little boy whispered shaking Alex.

“What?” Alex said popping up to find two little boys standing there. “God get in!” Alex growled and they jumped in. Space was getting slightly tight since there was now 8 total. Alex was almost asleep when the other four showed up. “Ok, get in.” Alex sighed. Now space was tight. There were two kids to the left side of Alex and two on the right side of ed with six between them.

“Mommy, I'm thirsty.” A little boy whined from the middle. Alex looked over at a sleeping Ed.

“Ok, I'll get you some water.” Alex said carefully getting out of bed and getting a glass of water. When she came back to the room she handed to the boy. “There's no ice.” He said as she was about to get in.

“Ok, I'll get you some.” Alex sighed taking the glass back.

“I'm hungry.” Another said.

“Ok, I'll get you something to eat.” Alex said glaring at Ed who was fast asleep. Alex went to the kitchen and put some ice in the glass and makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She brought them back and handed them to the kids.

“Mommy, I can't eat this I'm allergic to peanutbutter. You should know!” The kid whined.

“Really?” Alex asked in disbelief.

“Yes.” The kid whined. “I want a grilled cheese.” The kid squealed.

“Ok, give me the plate.” Alex growled ripping the plate out and making a grilled cheese. Bringing it back she gave it to the kid and got in bed. When he was done she set the plate and the glass on the night table and laid down to go to sleep the storm still going on.

“Mommy…. I have to go to the bathroom.” Alex sat up and beat ed over the head with a pillow.

“What?” He asked sitting up startled.

“I HAVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF OUR KIDS NEEDS FOR ABOUT AN HOUR NOW YOU TAKE HIM TO THE BATHROOM!” Alex yelled laying back down. Ed sighed and took the kid to the bathroom. This wouldn't be so bad if she didn't have that stupid session with Sesshomaru tomorrow. And with that thought Alex drifted to sleep.

~~~

*SLAM!* Sesshomaru slammed the book on Alex's desk.

“NO GO TO THE BATHROOM YOURSELF!” Alex screamed snapping up. She looked at a pissed off Sesshomaru in front of her. “Oh Hi.” Alex said smiling.

“Have you listened at all in the past 37 minutes I have lectured?” He asked tapping his foot.

“Yes, Every word.” Alex beamed.

“Then what is the number one rule about going out in public?”

“I see how it is… you don't trust me at all. Gosh! And you're my best friend too!” Alex whined.

“Just try and pay attention.” He sighed and walked back over the black board.

“Please take notes.”

“I don't have any paper.” *SLAM!*

“There, now write!” Sesshomaru growled warningly and turned back to the board. “Now then…” He began another lecture. Alex wrote two sentences before drawing Sesshomaru with his finger us his nose and adding a `Sesshomaru is RETARDED!' on it. She carefully folded it up and passed it to the other two. Alexis and
Whit opened it and silently laughed. Suddenly Sesshomaru ripped it out of their hands and looked it over. “Alex, are you trying to mock me with this drawing?” He growled.

“I didn't draw it Whit did.” Alex said pointing at her.

“What no I didn't!” Whit screamed.

“Ok fine… Alexis did!” Alex sighed.

“Let me see it.” Alexis said pulling it out of his hands. “No, That's to sucky even for me.” Alexis and giving it back.

“Gosh you guys blame every thing on me! Even you Sesshomaru, my best friend.” Alex said sadly.

“I'm not your best friend.” He stated.

“Yes you are.”

“No I'm not.” He growled.

“He's my husband, he can't be your best friend.” Whit said.

“Fine just continue on with your lecture.” Alex said and went back to her paper. Sesshomaru sighed and tossed the paper away. Alex quickly drew another of him standing in front of the board saying `blah blah blah, I'm retarded' in a bubble. While he talked she passed it to Whit who burst out laughing. Sesshomaru turned around and reached for the note, but Alex grabbed it first.

“Hand it over.” He said holding out his hand. Alex shook her head and stuck the ball of paper in her mouth and chewed. He grabbed her jaw.

“Spit it out now!” He growled holding out his hand after letting her go. Alex spat it in his hand making sure to appy extra spit to it.

“Eeeewwww.” Alexis and Whit said cringing. Sesshomaru just threw it away and applied massive amounts of purel to his hands.

“Alex…” Sesshomaru growled.

“HELP! RAPE! RRRRRAAAAAPPPPPPEEEE!” Alex screamed pounding on the door.

“Alex sit down.” Sesshomaru said annoyed.

“Help!” Alex yelled again. Suddenly the door opened and Ed stepped in.

“Yes Sesshomaru?” He asked looking at Alex.

“Make your wife sit down and shut up.” Sesshomaru said sitting down.

“I can't do that. I can't control her. Its her own fault she's here anyway.”

“You do so control me! I do whatever you want.” Alex argued.

“Alex, just sit down and shut up! You're scaring the kids.” Ed said.

“No you can't control me! No one does.” Alex said crossing her arms.

“Alex… sit.” Roy said passing by.

“Ok.” She said going back and sitting down.

“Roy wait, come back! Please.” Sesshomaru said running after him.

“Quick run away.” Alex said jumping up and heading for the door, but Ed closed it and it locked. “God damn it.” She growled and sat down again. Sesshomaru came in dragging an unconscious Roy behind him.

“Its ok I got Roy.” He said locking the door.

“You killed him.” Alex said in disbelief.

“NO we juist have to wake him up.” Sesshomaru said plainly.

“Ok, I can do that.” Alex said and crouched down by him. “Roy, I'm having your kid again.” Alex said immediately he popped up.

“What?” Roy asked just as Ed came in asking the same thing.

“Fake out.” Alex laughed.

“What do you mean again? Did you already have one with him?” Ed asked.

“No!” Alex yelled.

“Then why did you say again?”

“I'm going to the mall.” Alex said rushing out.

~~~ The next day ~~~

Alex sat smiling eating her breakfast when Whit and Alexis arrived.

“Hey, what's got you all happy happy?” Alexis asked.

“Oh, nothing.” Alex said. “Ready for learning today?” Alex asked getting up.

“I guess so.” Alex sighed.

“Good lets go.” Alex said walking out leaving Alexis and Whit. They both looked at eachother and shrugged. They went into the hall and found Sesshomaru with bed head and GREEN HAIR! Both of them stopped and stared open mouthed.

“What?” He sneered. Alex was behind him making cut throat signals and shaking her head.

“uhh nothing.” Alexis and Whit squeaked. Ed walked by and tripped falling face first.

“What the hell did you do to your…” He looked over at Alex who was silently telling him no. “…..your robe.” He finished.

“Nothing why?” He asked.

“Nothing got to go.” Ed said running away. Inuyasha walked in and sprayed the coffee he was drinking everywhere making everyone cringe.

“What the hell…” Inuyasha started.

“Oh my god what is wrong with me?” Sesshomaru yelled.

“Ummm, here.” Alexis said giving him a mirror just as Alex slipped away. He took it cautiously and looked at it. His eyes grew red and blue in an instant.

“ALEX!” He yelled. * Engine starts* * tires squeal for 5 seconds* *CRASH BOOM!*

“ GOD DAMN IT WHO PUT THAT POLE THERE?” Alex's scream could be heard before Sesshomaru bolted out yelling her name. Laex heard him and ran down a little ways and turned around to find him right behind her. *WHAM!* Alex ran straight into a tree. Falling back she shook her head and quickly ran. The others wathed the two running all around the front yard, between cars, and in bushes, until they ran inside. Alex raced up the stairs and ran into a closet.

“Where is she?” He growled. They all pointed to the closet. He opened it to Find Alex crouched down.

“Hi.” She said smiling. She looked over to the left and got a horrified expression on her face. “Oh my God its Naraku!” She said pointing and then bolting to the left when he turned. He chased her down the hall until she found a window and jumped out.

“Oh my god, she jumped out the window.” Alexis gasped.
“So?” Roy asked coming out of nowhere.

“SO we are on the third floor!” Alexis yelled and raced over to the window and looked out to find Alex holding onto a flag pole and below her a mess of thorn bushes.

“Nice job Alex.” Alexis said extending her hand.

“Not my fault I was running away from…”

“ALEX!” He growled running up the stairs.

“Shit!” She yelled and jumped out the window again. Alexis just smaked her head. Alex clung to the pole.

“Roy, help me.” Alex pleaded.

“No I don't think I will. I still remember a certain girl playing a trick on me.” He said walking away.

“Ed?” She screamed.

“Nope, don't think so.” He said also walking away.

“Here.” Alexis said helping her in halfway.

“You know you can be so dumb.” Alexis said letting her go where she fell back, but she didn't get the pole this time.

Alex then came walking into the house covered in thorns wincing with every step.

“Need help?” Ed asked feeling bad.

“Not from you.” Alex yelled and slammed the door to the bathroom shut where she spent the next 3 hours picking thorns out. “Just when life brings you up, you go back down.” Alex sighed.