Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction / Naruto Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ 2 Worlds Collide: Back Home ❯ Chapter 10

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

2 Worlds Collide: Back Home

Chapter Ten

Lemonade Kisses

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the Inuyasha or Full-Metal Alchemist characters or Naruto!

Summary: I'm going to stop, If you don't know what this story is about yet you need help

A/N: From now On I am just going to write Alex's and my ideas for this story as some one shots because we have too many ideas

“I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SPENT $567,987 ON CLOTHES JUST IN THE PAST HOUR!” Ed screamed pacing back and fourth in front of his wife. “AND THAT'S NOT THE WORST PART! YOU SPENT MORE THEN THAT YESTURDAY ON SHOES!” Alex sat back and took it, just a few more minutes he'd go away and that would be the end of it. She could predict Ed…or so she thought. “From now on you are getting an allowance so we can budget a little.”

“WHAT!” Alex cried.

“I'm taking you off my account and onto a separate account of your own.” Ed said sitting down and going through his desk.

“How much do I get? $500,000?”

“No, $10,000.” Ed replied plainly

“WHAT! DO U THINK I CAN SURVIVE ON THAT?!?!” Alex yelled jumping up and pounding on Ed's desk.

“Yes I do, now if you will excuse me I have a meeting with the guys, we are going to go do our accounting together.” Ed said picking up a file and walking towards the door.

“Accounting is code for GAY SEX ON THE MEETING TABLES.” Alex yelled after him.

“What about gay sex on meeting tables?” The gay guy asked suddenly appeared in the doorway.

“In Fluffy's office.” She said motioning down the hall.

“Ed you're mine!” The guy cried running down the hall. Alex sighed and stood up walking down to the kitchen finding her two friends in there eating PB&JS and laughing. She looked around as the girls slowly stopped and looked at her. “You guys made PB&JS without even asking if I wanted one?” Alex screamed angrily. Alexis pulled a plate out with the sandwich on it and sliding it over to Alex. “Yay!” She said happily taking a bite. “Where are the kids?”

“Day care on the west wing, thank god we can afford a live in baby sitter, two hanyous are a lot of work.” Alexis sighed taking the last bite. “ I still spend a lot of time with them though, I don't want to be like non existent.”

“I haven't seen my kids in 3 days and they still know who I am…I think…” Alex said thoughtfully. She shrugged and happily went on eating her sandwich.

“I can't believe the guys locked us out!” Whit growled angrily.

“What?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, door is locked.” Alexis said mouth full of her meal.

“They must be hiding something.” Whit shrugged.

"I bet they're having gay sex. Accounting is code for Gay Sex, you know." Alex concluded.

"What?! No way! They wouldn't do THAT..." Alexis cried blushing.

"Why else would they lock the door?"

Whit and Alexis looked at each other and then looked back down at their plates. A silence fell for a few minutes, as they each were lost in their own thoughts:

Alexis: `I wonder if they really are doing THAT…'

Alex: `I think there is more jelly then peanut butter on here…'

Whitney: ` Everybody was kung fu fighting! Those kicks were fast as lightning…'

“Guys, we have to find out. I have some black body suits and stuff in my room we will go change then find out what they are doing.” Alex said putting her plate by the sink.

“Why do u have a black body suit…?” Whit asked curiously.

“They were left by Sasuke.” Alex replied plainly walking out with Alexis.

“Oh….” Whit said and then happily followed.

~*~*~*

“Ugh move faster!” Alex grunted pushing Alexis.

“I can't!” She hissed back from her spot in front of Alex in the dark tunnel. Alexis wiped away the sweat from her brow smudging the dark line drawn there.

“What are we doing again?” Whit asked behind the two crawling through the metal tunnel with them.

“I told you!” Alex grunted. “We are going to crawl through this A/C Vent to the guys room and spy on them while they are accounting.” Alex finished making the quote signs with her fingers.

“OH…” Whit said obediently following.

“I think I see the vent!” Alexis said excitedly.

“Almost there, if little miss `no ass' would move it.” Alex growled making Alexis kick her foot back landing it perfectly in her face. “Owww bitch what was that for?” Alex said holding her smashed face.

“For being a bitch.” Alexis said still crawling to their destination. Alex felt something poke her butt and a small “beep beep” from behind her. She sighed making note to kill Alexis and Whitney later. Alex crawled over to the vent where Alexis was and each of them got a side of the square opening. Loud male laughter sounded below them as the girls looked on.

“Oh man, I can't even tell you how much I spent on Yash's bachelor party.” Ed laughed. “I mean a belly dancer and mtv were not cheap.”

“You got the better of it. I had to pay to rent your favorite sports/ gentlemen's bar for you!” Inuyasha laughed patting Ed's shoulder. Alexis looked over at Alex who was glaring at Ed.

“Hey you can't blame him I bet we had a wild bachelorette party.” Alexis said soothingly. Alex seemed to relax a little.

“Man, even with my business my money is so low.” Ed whined.

“But you have the same income as us, even more at some times…” Inuyasha replied.

“Its Alex man. She drains us.” Roy said sadly.

“Yeah, I mean in like one week she spends a minimum of $200,000!” Ed sighed

“She gets at least a quarter of that from me.” Roy added.

“Wow. I know she's gotten about $750,000 from me so far. How much has she conned off you?” Inuyasha asked.

“$100,000” Sesshomaru replied plainly.

“Wow. Does Whitney spend a lot?”

“No. Only when she is with Alex. On her own she spends about $50,000 a week.” He stated.

“Wow.” Was all the others could say.

“Yash, how much your babe spend?” Roy asked leaning back and putting his feat on the desk.

“She spent about $1,000 one week. But she usually doesn't spend more the $750 in two weeks…” He said thoughtfully. Roy fell back on the floor, Ed spit out his drink, and even Sesshomaru had a shocked face.

“What?!?” Ed coughed.

“Well, she's not really a shopping girl. Her favorite store it Target, she loves to buy clothes and stuff there. I take her out sometimes for a nice dress or some jewelry now and then and she loves it, but she always tries to talk me out of buying it for her saying its too much to spend on her…” Inuyasha said simply.

“God you have a great wife.” Roy replied.

“I guess…”

“No you do! I mean she never ever causes trouble, she takes care of ALL our kids most of the time. Makes sure the house keepers and babysitters are happy. Cooks us all late night meals when we have a problem. Talks to us about it. Doesn't spend a lot of money, I mean she's like Mrs. Perfect!” Ed rambled. Alex smacked Alexis upside the head harshly.

“Show off!” She scolded.

“What?!? I'm sorry I get bored when u leave with Whit!” Alexis hissed.

“She does the snack thing for you too?”

“Yeah! I remember I was worried about a meeting one night and Alexis found me in the kitchen and sat down and talked to me and made me a grilled cheese.” Ed replied. Alex smacked Alexis again.

“Stay away from my husband!” She scolded again.

“Yeah same here.” Roy said, and Sesshomaru nodded.

“See I do it for all of them.” Alexis defended.

“Wow. I guess she is great.”

“No shit!” Roy cursed. “But still I don't know if I could deal with having a perfect wife or even girlfriend. It would be boring at times.” Alexis sniffed sadly.

“I'm boring?” Alexis squeaked. Alex patted her back a little.

“It's ok.” Alex soothed.

“Well, at least we know the girls won't leave, I mean we make the money, they couldn't make money if their lives depended on it!” Ed Laughed.

“Yeah no kidding.” Inuyasha agreed.

“WHAT!” A scream was heard above causing all of them to look up. “Fuck!” Alex cursed. “Lets get out of here!” She said turning around stopping when a crack was heard. “Uh oh…” was all she said before the vent fell taking the girls with them. They all fell with a crash right on the nice hard wood floor.

“Owww…” Alexis groaned as she held her butt.

“What have we here?” Ed asked standing over the group.

“Spying on us?” Roy asked next to Ed.

“It was my idea!” Alexis said, not wanting Alex to get in trouble. Alex smacked her.

“SHUT UP AND STOP ACTING LIKE LITTLE MRS. PERFECT!” Alex yelled. “This was all my plan and who says we can't make money?!?” Alex concluded looking up defiantly at Ed.

“I do.” He stated.

“Fine!” We challenge you to a battle. We each come up with something within five days. The sixth day will be setting it up and the final day will be introducing it to the customers, after that we compare and see who gets more money!” Alex challenged.

“You three vs. four of us?” Ed asked.

“Yeah!” Alex said ignoring Alexis' pleas to stop.

“You're on!” Ed said shaking her hand and the other guys nodding.

“See you when we take the prize! Lets go!” Alex said getting up and hobbling out of the room Whit and Alexis in tow.

~~~~

“Remind me again how we decided to do this?” Alexis sighed as she sat at their brilliant, brand new, totally new, lemonade stand. Oh yeah it was a brilliant idea *sarcasm*.

“Whit and I decided we wanted to do a lemonade stand, besides we've got lots of customers.” Alex replied confidently.

“Alex, 5 customers is not a lot. And we really should take the powder away from Whit. She has already eaten one pouch plain, and she is about to bounce off the wall. I'm afraid she might start snorting it soon.” Alexis admitted.

“Well it's keeping her busy, she chased away 2 customers saying it was really flavored pee.” Alex sighed.

“YUUMMM!” Whit squealed as she ate the powder. They both sighed.

“I wonder what the guys are doing…” Alexis thought aloud.

“Probably selling cookies.” Alex snickered as two girls came up to the stand.

“Hi would you like a glass of lemonade for $1?” Alexis asked sweetly.

“Um no thanks, we are actually looking for the kissing booth.” The girl giggled with her friend.

“Kissing booth?” Alex asked curiously.

“Yeah…” The other girl replied handing her the brochure. Alex scanned it over before her face turned menacingly angry.

“What! The guys are doing a kissing booth! Those bastards!” Alex growled as Alexis yanked it away looking at it.

“Yeah, girls are coming from all over to go to this. Oh I can't wait the Ed is so hot!” The girl giggled making Alex shake with anger. Alexis patted her back to soothe her.

“Are you kidding? Im totally going to make out with Inuyasha, I really want to touch his ears.” The other squealed making Alexis dig her fingers into Alex's shoulder so hard she fell down mouthing a scream.

“I know where it is. Its down that way to the right, just keep walking u cant miss it.” Alexis replied.

“Thanks.” the girls giggled as they headed off. Alex got up after Alexis let go.

“What are you doing it's the other way stupid.” Alex scolded.

“I know.” Alexis replied simply.

“Then why did you…Ohhhhhh.”

“Yeah. What are we going to do?” Alexis cried. Alex slumped as she thought of a plan.

“Lets go spy and see how they are doing, and we can break it up if need be.” Alex smirked evilly along with Alexis and Whit, who had no idea why.

“Yeah.” Alexis agreed.

~~~~~

“Man this was a good idea you had Roy.” Ed said as the last girl left his lips.

“Yeah, no kidding.” Roy agreed kissing his next customer.

“It would be nice if the girls would stop trying to mess with my ears.” Inuyasha grumbled.

“Oh loosen up Yash, this is only to prove the girls wrong and make money, as far as I'm concearned you're just working.” Ed said as the next girl came up to kiss him.

“Yeah.” Inuyasha said taking the next girl who had paid for him. Ed laughed at how stiff Inuyasha was about this and went back to find his next customer in his lap arms wrapped around his neck.

“Hello my lovely Edward.” The gay guy said, now it was the other two's turn to laugh.

“I'm not kissing you.” Ed replied plainly.

“Why don't you admit you are secretly gay.” The guy whined not moving. Ed pushed him off saying “I'm not.”

“Fine! But I will be back!” The guy said walking off. The others laughed watching Ed.

“Man Ed, what would Alex say?” Roy teased.

“Heh, nothing she thinks this is hilarious.” Ed replied pouting.

“Haha, your wife is so cool. Man we have always been different but yet we are so close, but I cannot understand how our wives get along. I mean I have what you call the perfect wife, whom I can tell you is not boring to me….” Inuyasha started.

“And I have the troublesome, outgoing, fun, stressful, wife…” Ed added.

“And I have the crazy, blonde, cute wife.” Sesshomaru called from his spot taking more money. They all laughed.

“Hey Roy why aren't you married?” Inuyasha teased.

“Like a true mustang I run free besides I have the best lover in the world.” He smirked.

“Geeze who is she, you've been with her for years and you never tell?” Ed whined giving a kiss to his next girl.

“Mmm…” Roy started in the middle of a kiss. “I won't tell until the time is right.” Roy finished when they broke.

“Well I hope we find out soon.” Inuyasha said loosening up enough to give his next girl a kiss. Ed laughed a yeah and looked forward. The infront of him stood a blonde girl dressed up in a t-shirt and jeans and high heels. Her boobs were so big they were busting out her shirt making Roy almost drool, yet something was off with her, she seemed familiar.

“Hi Ed I…” She stopped as a loud pop was heard and a boob disappeared. She clutched her chest. Painfully. “Ow. Fuck! That hurt! Ow. Shit. Ahh…Wait…” She said painfully and Ed watched as she blew up a balloon in front of him and stuffed it in her shirt. “There, now I…” She stopped as the other popped. “…Oww. Shit. That was my last balloon too! Fuck. That hurt. Oww. I'll be back.” She said walking away. Ed stared at him. `Gay guy..' Was all he could think as he shook his head.

“He never gives up.”

Alex, Alexis, and Whit walked towards the cross streets said on the paper stopping behind a large shrub. The all peeked through to all gasp at the sight. There sat Sesshomaru at a desk collecting money from a line of girls 3 blocks long, and behind him sat the three kissees. Inuyasha, Roy, and Ed.

“Would you look at that line? Holy shit!” Alexis whispered.

“I can't believe they would go this low as to do this.” Alex growled lowly.

“It's a way to make money…” Alexis replied.

“Shut up! Look at your husband, I wonder how many girls have given him the tongue or touched his ears.” Alex said snidely. Alexis looked down sadly.

“I guess he needs some excitement from his perfect to the point of boration wife.”

“Boration?” Alex asked.

“Its my new word shut up!” Alexis replied hotly.

“Look!” Alex said as the three watched the group as a woman stepped up again with huge sagging breasts. Ed looked up at the young woman curiously as her breasts sagged down t her waist.

“Hi Ed I…” Two watermelons fell out of her bra making it snap back and knock her back. “…Oww. It doesn't matter! Kiss me Ed!” He said lunging at Ed who was pushing him back yelling `No'. “Come on Ed, just one and I will go away.” Ed winced and scrunched his face.

“Fine, just one, no tongue.” Ed agreed with the gay guy.

“Ok.” He said as he leaned in and KISSED ED! The girls fell over in shock, the girls stooped talking, and the guys stared open mouthed. The broke with Ed wiping his mouth disgusted and the gay guy prancing off and singing `I kissed Ed'.

“OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO HOT!” One of the girls screamed along with the others more excited as they all poured through.

“We have to stop this!” Alex cried.

“How?” Alex looked over spotting none other then girl magnet, pretty boy, duck hair, backstreet boy, Sasuke Uchiha.

“Sasuke…” She said lowly. She ran over to him taking his arm and dragging him to the bush.

“What the hell?” He said being dragged across a lawn.

“Ok you see that sidewalk? If you walk over to the other side of this shrub you'll become stronger.” Alex said pushing him towards the sidewalk.

“What?” He asked confused.

“Just trust me.” Alex assured him. Sasuke wanting to be stronger listened and walked over to the other side. Everything went silent.

“OH MY GOD ITS SASUKE!” They all screamed rushing over to him. He turned around and glared at Alex.

“I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!” He screamed running at Alex.

“Oh Shit!” Alex cursed running away as Sasuke chased her as fan girls, including Whitney, chased him.

Alexis watched hiding in the shrub.

“What happened?” Inuyasha asked stunned.

“Stupid Sasuke taking all my adoring fan girls in mini skirts.” Roy said dramaticly.

“He wouldn't willingly come here though, I know Sasuke.” Ed said watching where they disappeared.

“Yeah, I wonder what happened.” Inuyasha said.

Sesshomaru stood and walked over to the shrub pulling out Alexis who squeaked.

“I believe this is the culprit.” Sesshomaru said holding her up by the back of her pants.

“You're the one who took away my fan girls! I say we tie hger up and dump her in the river!” Roy growled.

“No. She wouldn't have done this alone. Where is Alex and Whitney?” Sesshomaru asked calmly.

“Well you see we were working our lemonade stand when some girls came up and asked about the kissing booth and Alex and I decided to find out what was going on so we come over and we saw Ed get kissed by the gay guy and Alex called Sasuke over and told him if he went over here he would become stronger so he did and the girls came after him and he said he was going to kill Alex and ran after her and Whit joined the fan girls and I hid in the shrub and the Sesshomaru found me and that's why I'm here now.” Alexis explained on one breath.

“…” Was all the guys could say.

“I better go make sure shes okay because Sasuke will kill her!” Ed said running off in the direction they left.

“So we have no idea where Alex is now?” Alexis shook her head just as Alex jumped over a fence landing on the ground below and laying back breathing harshly.

“Holy crap that guy can run.” Alex said out of breath.

“Are you ok?” Alexis asked as Sesshomaru let her down. “What happened?”

“Well Sasuke chased me down all these Alleys until to my luck he got tackled by the girls and gave me a chance to get a head start and run hopping over this fence man I was so scared.” She said sitting up.

“Umm…Alex… You might want to start running again.” Alexis said nervously.

“Why?” Alex asked looking up to where Alexis was pointing on the fence. Sasuke smirked evilly down at her, his clothes torn and cuts all over his body. “Fuck.” Was all she said before she was off again Sasuke hot on her trail and Fan girls breaking through the fence and running after Sasuke. Sesshomaru grabbed Whit as she passed holding her shirt. As they all passed Whit looked up and smiled at Sesshomaru.

“Hi!” She said happily as she hugged Sesshomaru. Ed stopped out of breath.

“Oh forget it, they are way to fast!” He panted.

“Well its almost sundown shall we count the money?” Inuyasha asked. Alexis shook her head walking up to him.

“You guys win. We are really bad at making money. But that's not the reason we stay here. We, or at least I stay here because I love you. I have for the past two years we've been here. And I'm sure I did before I just don't remember. And I don't try to be perfect. I just try to make everyone happy. If I'm boring I can be more like Alex…” Inuyasha put a finger up.

“I don't want you to be anyone other then yourself.” Alexis smiled and jumped into his arms. Whitney sniffed dramaticly then smiled.

“BOOBALISM!” She screamed out making them laugh.

“Come on lets go home.” Inuyasha suggested.

“What about Alex?” Alexis asked.

“She knows her way home. Lets go.” Ed said as they all left.