Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ When the Cherry Blossoms Bloom ❯ That Which We Hide Behind ( Chapter 17 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I never claimed to own this, so guess what. I do not!

Summary: When faced with Love's difficulty, can three people locked in its hold push aside their fear for the sake of it? Sequel to Feel Me, Shame Me, Heal Me.

When the Cherry Blossoms Bloom

Episode 17— That Which We Hide Behind

Winry, for most of dinner, only picked at the noodles, moving the peas around her plate with her fork. She could hear her children giggling with what her grandmother had said, Edward and Alphonse were in conversation. Lifting her eyes, she found Roy staring at her, the expression she could see was one of concern and she dropped her gaze back to her plate. She had lost her senses earlier this evening with him and she was angry at herself for it. The man shouldn't be able to affect her anymore. She hated to admit it, even to herself that he very well still could.

Edward had only said a few words to her in the kitchen before she had dinner all ready, she knew that he had been avoiding the subject of what he had seen back in the living room. The air had been intense and she didn't know why but had made her feel just a little bit guilty.

Suddenly, and that which startled the entire table, Edward shot to his feet, the metal of his limbs clanking as his feet hit the floor loudly as well as his hands slamming down on the wood. He turned his golden eyes to hers that had looked up at him with confusion. “Winry, I need to talk to you.” He took a quick glance at everyone and his eyes narrowed at Mustang before he turned his angry glare back to Winry. “Outside…`alone',” he added tightly to let others know that he was not to be followed.

Letting out her frustrated breath, Winry nodded once and lifted to her feet. She gave an uneasy smile to her children. “Finish your dinner, I'll be right back.” She followed Edward through the kitchen and living room, he opened the front door for her and she passed him, stepping out onto the porch, where he closed the door. They both walked a few steps on the wooden planks, before Winry stopped and leaned up against the side of the house while Edward continued to pace.

Inside, Brian's eyes narrowed and his face scrunched up with anger. “Come on, Anna.” He dropped his fork on the plate and started to get down from his chair, his sister was doing the same.

“Where are you two going?” Roy asked them and they both looked at him. “Your mother told you to stay and finish your dinner, do what she says.” He ordered sternly. This parenting thing was easier than he thought. Of course, his good fortune was short lived as the Anna shook her head making his brow furrow. “What do you mean by no?”

Brian looked at the man. “We gonna listen to their consation.” He grabbed his sister's hand even before the man got to his feet and Brian rushed with her into the living room. He could see a little bit of his mother outside, so he went over to the window and turned the latch lifting it up so he could hear what was being said.

Pinako snorted with amusement. “It's gonna take more than that to get them to listen, Mustang.” She continued to eat her dinner, even if she had an idea of what was going with Edward and what exactly it was he wanted to talk to her granddaughter about.

Following after them were Alphonse with the General, turning to the taller man, Alphonse said, “It's not exactly easy to control them, don't feel that they just aren't listening to only you. Sometimes, Winry has to be really stern with them.”

“I just don't want to overstep my bounds with them.” Roy said with regret, its not like he could punish them for their not listening, they don't even know who he really is. Winry hadn't told them yet. “I wish she would tell them who I was, and even still... I have no rights to discipline them, Winry barely talks to me as it is.”

Alphonse smiled lightly, “Give her time, that's all anyone can do.” What he had heard about the General and Winry's relationship that it was an odd one, it started terrible, and he wanted to punch the man in the face for his apprehensible conduct with her. Just imagining the General blackmailing her into doing anything, made Alphonse see violent red. The General had been right when the man said that he wouldn't like what he heard. But Alphonse had to remember that something interesting had developed between them, Winry came to trust him, even relied on him. The man protected her, saved her life, and was there for her when neither he nor his brother had been. Alphonse knew the General cared for her like no other and put her above everyone and everything else. And Winry likes him, more like loves him, and still even now she does.

Alphonse was going to do what is best for Winry, regardless that it could hurt the General or his brother with whatever decision she ends up making. Someone was going to get hurt in this, he just didn't know who it would really be. Sure, he had an idea, but it was too soon to really judge that.

He noticed that the General sat down on the sofa near the twins, so Alphonse joined them. He too wanted to know what was being discussed between Winry and his brother.

Winry held her gaze towards the floorboards, “Will you just say it already, you're irritating me and you're wearing out the wood with your constant pacing.” Her tone was slightly snippy.

Feeling his nerves jump, Edward looked straight at her, they were in fact the same height now, which wasn't too much bigger than what he previously was. He sighed with disappointment as he knew he would never be bigger than her. “Winry…”

“What?” she asked softly.

“Winry…” he swallowed hard, trying to build up the courage.

“Yes?” her eyes narrowed in concentration and irritation.

“Winry…”

“What?! Damn-it, Ed, just say it already!” Her blue eyes were aflame with hostility. All he was doing was saying her name, again and again.

He lowered his face, his bangs shadowing his eyes. “I… I love you.” He whispered.

Winry blinked, “What?” She asked in gasped disbelief.

Not moving at all, Edward repeated, “I love you.” He said much stronger.

Leaning more against the house, Winry's brow creased slightly and she shook her head in disbelief. Looking at him, she said, “No you don't.”

With that comment, he sharply lifted his head. His eyes were more vibrant with his anger. “Don't fuckin' tell me how I feel.” His tone was dark, which caused her eyes to widen.

“All right! I'm sorry.” She took a deep breath, he sure sounded angry. “I won't tell you how you feel, but you're confused, Ed.”

“I'm not confused, Winry. It's true!” His tone was passionate and full of life, “I know it took awhile for me to realize it, but I did eventually. It's always been you.”

This time she started pacing gathering her argument in her head. She walked closer to him. “Ed, what made you come to this sudden realization of love for me?”

“It just happened, I don't know.” He glanced at his shoes, rubbing his foot against the wood. Sure it might have happened around the same time he found out about her involvement with Mustang, but that meant little. But he loved her, it was how he felt, he was sure of it.

“What makes you think you love me, Edward? When you were away, you rarely wrote, you barely thought of me at all.” She saw him shaking his head, he was going to open his mouth to say something but she cut him off. “In fact, the only time you ever came back here was when you needed me to fix your arm or leg! That was all you thought of me as, someone who fixes you!”

“No! That's not…true.” His forehead creased as he continued to shake his head.

“Do you really know me at all, Ed?” She was close to tears as she stared into his eyes. “Or do you only know me as your mechanic?”

Edward reached up and grabbed her upper arms. “You would never tell me anything about you, other than that.”

Her temper was sparking and she shook herself from his hold, stomping forward, “You never wanted to hear it! You would always cut me off and say, do we have to hear this now!? You were always more important. Your pain, your suffering, your losses! What about mine? I had them too!” She raged. “I kept everything in because a good friend does not unleash what does not want to be heard. But I listened to you. I listened to everything you had to say regardless of how it made me feel! You still kept secrets, you still did dangerous alchemy without even talking to Grandma and me!”

“Shut up!” He squeezed ears shut with his hands. “You're wrong!”

“Am I?” A frustrated breath left her lips.

Taking a deep breath of his own, he lowered his hands from his ears, staring at her. Realizing she was turning this as an attack on him, taking it away from what it was really about. “I see what you're doing. You're pushing me away, just like you do everyone else.”

“What?!” Her tone was sharp.

“You've been doing that ever since Al and I got here. From the moment you opened the door in seeing our faces to even now.” His eyes took on a solemn expression. “You want to remain alone, don't you, Winry?” He saw her eyes widen slightly and this time she shook her head. “You never used to be like this.” Edward said soft and with sympathy.

Crossing her arms over her breasts, Winry took a deep breath while lifting her head up high. “Like what? Just what are you saying?”

“You've grown cold, Winry.” He said, his eyes expressing his sorrow for her. “You're distant, and it's sad because this is not how you are, this is not you.”

“That's insane,” Winry replied, not able to look at him where she was tightening her arms around herself. “I have not grown cold. I hugged you, don't you remember?”

Edward sighed and took a step closer to her, where Winry dropped her gaze from him to stare at the ground. “You might have made the motions, Winry,” He lightly touched her face with a gentle finger, “But your heart wasn't in it. You've blocked it. You're so afraid of getting hurt that you won't let anyone in.”

“But I give my love to my children,” Winry said, finding Edward's shoes really interesting all of a sudden.

“That's different and you know it.” Gently, he rested his hands on her shoulders, which caused her to finally look up at him. “You can let me in, Winry. I'm still your friend, one of your best. It won't hurt, I promise. Don't keep pushing me away.”

She smiled lightly, “I know that you're my friend and I'm glad of it. Everything is so empty and I don't know if I can fill…I just don't know if I can.”

“Start trusting someone to take some of your burden. Tell me what happened, why are you so alone now? Why are you automatically sheltering yourself?” He asked, leaning closer, his forehead pressing against hers. He saw her lashes lightly close, fanning against her cheeks.

“Ed, stop please.” she asked sounding pained, and she moved back from him, pressing herself against the side of the house. “I know what you're trying to do, and I…” She found his gaze to have hardened which caused her to stop speaking.

He shook his head back and forth. “I don't get it, Winry. There's not much more I can do. Why does that man…” He pointed harshly through the window inside to who knows where Mustang was standing. “…get to hold you and kiss you when he hurts you and makes you so afraid to open up to anyone? But I haven't ever done anything like that to hurt you and you won't even let me touch you, you always flinch or back away from me! What is so wrong with me that makes you find a reason to push from me?! ”

“I don't know!” She screeched, tears finally falling from her eyes that have been threatening to their entire conversation. “I don't know what you want from me, Ed!”

“I want you to trust me! Like you used to do! But because of whatever Mustang had done to you, you can't trust anyone!”

Winry growled in frustration through her tears, “It's not his fault, Ed. It's my own head! It's what's inside of me that made me…as you say cold! He never really promised me anything of any value. I should have just been glad he was still alive and left it at that. But I didn't, I wanted more, possibly more than could be achieved with how he even views himself. So you can't blame him solely, Ed. I'm responsible for the way I feel. And I don't want to be mistaken again; I don't want to make more out of what's really there.”

He wouldn't let her push him from her this time. Edward stepped right to her and threw his arms tight around her and crushed her to him. She struggled but he only held tighter. “Just relax, Winry, let me hug you, just feel my heart beating, feel that you can trust me. You don't have to be strong and distant all the time.” He said into her ear.

Letting out a deep breath, an anguished cry, she looped her arms around his middle, and buried her face into his shoulder. She listened, to the crickets in the air around her, the feel of Edward holding onto her, his steady heartbeat and she mellowed. “Ed, I'm sorry. I never meant for you to feel that I push you away.”

“I know.” He whispered, closing his eyes. “Take all the time you need, I'm here and not going anywhere. You can hold onto me as much as you like”

She suddenly giggled, “This is quite the reverse situation, Ed. This time you're taking care of me.”

He laughed, “Yeah, suppose you're right.”

Alphonse turned to the General, who had a very concentrated expression on his face, knowing that Edward just poured out his entire soul to Winry, no one knew if she accepted it either, they were arguing and now all was quiet. Alphonse had the urge to get up and go see what was going on. Instead, he turned a curious eye to Mustang. “What if the only thing Winry has concerning you is passion, what about all the other important things?” He didn't want to bring this up, but he needed to make all parties think carefully about what they had with one another and what it was they exactly wanted.

Roy's brow creased, the younger Elric certainly had a point. He hated to think about it, but what did Winry and he have besides just heat? There has to be more to it, a lifetime commitment has to be based on something more than just passion. He knew he felt strongly for her, that she was the light to his dark, she made him smile and brought him joy that he never felt he deserved. She healed a lot of his internal wounds, only he had figuratively ripped his stitches open again letting them steadily bleed. Maybe she could continue to heal, to stitch him up for good this time. She was a true treasure of the heart and he did not want to let her go. Edward Elric was sure setting the bar pretty high now. That meant Roy would definitely have to work a lot harder at her accepting him back, he would have to confess as well.

The front door opened and in walked Winry and Edward. Brian, seeing the tears on his mother's face walked right up to Edward, glaring up at him.

“What?” Edward asked the seemingly angry little boy.

“You made Mama cry.” Brain accused and lifted his foot bashing it into Uncle Edward's shin, into his flesh one making the man shout in pain.

“Why you little—” Edward said jumping on one foot trying to sooth the pounding ache.

“Brian.” Winry's tone was scolding. “You apologize right now, little man.”

Brian's jaw dropped open before he pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. “No.” He stomped his foot.

Winry got that disapproving look in her eye, “What did you just say?”

He started to tremble under the hard look he was getting from his mother, but he sucked in his fear and puffed out his chest defiantly. “No!” He saw his mother's brow arch and he suddenly knew he was in big trouble…

Brian groaned and shifted on his other foot. This corner was dusty, he mused as he had his nose almost pressed to it, his arms crossed while he had that familiar pout on his face.

Anna giggled, “Brian always get in tuble.” She shook her head back and forth in the living room while drawing a pretty pony, which looked more like a stick figure with long flowing hair and fire coming out of its mouth.

“Does he now?” Roy asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, where he folded his hands between them.

Turning around to him, Anna nodded wildly while standing up in front of her mother's tall friend. “Uh-huh.” She picked up her doll with long red curls and started picking at the button eye while twisting her body from side to side. “One tine, Mama told us not to go down to the pond witout her or Great Grandma, but Brian did anway, an when Mama fine out, she march right down dere and grab-bed him by da ear and drug him back home, where she gabe him tree…” She held up three fingers while curling her doll in the crook of her arm, “…big swats on his butt, an put him in the corner an told him no desert that night.”

“Anna!” Brian shouted in mortal outrage.

Winry lowered her magazine from her face, “Brian, no talking.” She heard him stomp his foot and she lifted the reading material back up to hide her laughing face.

“So, what your name?” Anna asked him.

He smiled, “It's Roy.”

Anna smile grew, “That good name. Mama must like that name.”

Roy's brow creased and his tiny smile remained, “What makes you think so?”

Blinking and shrugging, Anna stared down at her doll before looking back up at Roy. “Cause that name she give Brian too.”

Looking right at Winry, Roy could see that she lowered the magazine enough that he could see her eyes, her forehead was red. He just about melted. She did name their son after him.

Feeling a warmth rushing through her stomach, Winry shrugged. “Brian's middle name happens to be Roy.” She said slightly embarrassed, as well as her cheeks heating at seeing the smile the man had just given her.

Alphonse grinned and Edward just fumed. They both looked over at Pinako who was nursing her pipe and reading the latest technology magazine on new Automail ports. Both the Elric brother's knew she was taking in everything that was being said here.

Brian whimpered, “Can I get outta the corner now?” he begged.

Placing her magazine on her lap, Winry looked up at her son, “Only if you can tell me why you're being punished.”

Letting out a groan, Brian turned his head. “ `cause I said no to you. An I shud hab listen `cause you know what best fer me. I shud not hab kicked Unca Edwa, I sowey.” He pouted.

Getting up from her chair she walked over to her son, as he looked sadly up at her. She smiled at him and bent down, scooping him up where she spun him around making him laugh, before holding him tightly to her. “Boy, you're getting big. Almost too big to carry,” She smiled at him. “That's exactly right, you shouldn't kick people it hurts them, you wouldn't want Uncle Edward to kick you, now would you.” She saw Brian shake his head back and forth quickly. “I didn't think so. But most of all you shouldn't tell me no.”

Brian leaned against his mother's shoulder. “I won't inymore.” He was then released and he ran over to Anna and the toys. It was probably bed time soon and he wouldn't get to play much longer.

With a grin, Anna turned slightly to Uncle Alphonse, “Can you make me someting?”

Edward with a shrug, spoke up. “I can do it.” He went to clap his hands together, when Mustang stood and grabbed his arm, halting him. Edward tried to wrestle his appendage from him, but he only gripped tighter. “Hey, le'go!”

“Don't do it that way, not in front of them.” Roy roughly let go of Edward's arm, “You don't want them asking questions on how to do that now, do you?” he said in warning.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Edward rolled his eyes realizing why not indeed. “Guess not. Well get some paper, I don't think Auntie Pinako wants me drawing on her floor.”

“Got that right, Runt.” Pinako smirked.

“Hey!” Edward started to say but was interrupted by Anna tugging on the bottom of his shirt where she held up her paper. It had been from the coloring pile and she placed it on the floor in front of him.

“Okay, okay, I wan anoder doll,” Anna was practically jumping up and down in excitement.

Edward's mouth curved up in a half grin, “I need materials kiddo, you can't just make something from nothing.”

Little blonde brows arched and Anna nodded, “I know, the ackme book Mama got me says that. But I don know mateels yet. I don go sckul yet. Afer summer Mama say is when Brian and me go sckul.”

Roy sat back down on the sofa when he felt the `danger' had passed. “Do you like Alchemy, Anna?” he watched her spin around with glee lighting up her eyes.

“Uh-huh, no too many peepol do Ackme here. So when Unca Alfos visits, he always show it to me.” Anna grinned brightly. “Brian don like it too much, he like putting stuff togeder like Mama.”

With a grin, Roy enjoyed seeing how much she liked Alchemy. “Did you know that I can do Alchemy too?”

Anna's jaw dropped in astonishment, “You can?” She grabbed his hand and tugged on it with both of hers while jumping up and down. “Show me, show me.”

Well at least he could relate to his daughter this way, now what about his son? Taking a glance at Brian who was building a rather large estate with blocks, he was going to be a little trickier. He turned a smile to Anna, “How about I show you tomorrow.”

Her little lips formed a pout that almost made Roy give in to what she wanted, where she added in a sweet voice, “Why not now?”

Great, he was going to end up being a pushover for his daughter. Wait! He wasn't a pushover, he was anything but! There is no way he was going to let those puppy dog eyes and that pout effect him. Heck, if Winry could stand firm against those endearing looks, then so could he. “Well it could be dangerous, so it's better if I show you tomorrow and outside.” Roy answered honestly.

“Aww,” Anna dropped his hand and looked like she was about to cry.

“Stop it, Anna. That's not going to work.” Winry said with an all knowing tone as well as expression and she saw her daughter's face scrunch up and her lips twist.

“Ah, nuts!” Anna curled a hand into a fist and swooshed it through the air in her disappointment that her trick crying wasn't going to end up getting her what she wanted. She went back over to play with her toys forgetting all about the doll she asked Uncle Edward for.

At a quarter to nine, Winry stood up from her chair. “All right, Brian and Anna, its time to get ready for bed. She heard the moans and groans but she just waved her hands in the air and pointed to the stairs, where her children began to march forward. While passing the couch, she glanced down at the top of Roy's head. “By the way, Roy, tomorrow we're cutting your hair.”

He snapped around to face her instantly, “What?” He actually looked startled, and there he saw a serious expression in her eyes. He ran his fingers through the almost chin length of one side of his hair. Cutting it meant people could really see his patch.

Winry could see the worry he was expressing, “I don't see why it's such a problem, or why you let it get that way.”

Roy scoffed, “Of course you wouldn't see it.” He did not feel comfortable with getting his hair cut, and he would fight it to the end.

She leaned on the back of the couch, moving closer to him. “You keep the back short and the other side, its strange that this part…” She gently tugged on his raven locks. “…is the only bit that's long like this.”

“I have my reasons for why it's this way and I am not letting anyone, even you change it.” Roy should have known better and to realize that when someone says they are not going to do something to Winry, they always end up doing exactly what she wants…

****

The midmorning sun shone down, with only a few wispy clouds breezing by. Brian and Anna were currently with Alphonse and Den who decided on taking a walk. Edward decided against his better judgment to actually help Mustang for once, only the man was proving more stubborn and difficult than even he has been known to be. Mustang was teetering on his last nerve.

“Just sit in the chair, Old man.” Edward threatened Mustang, “Or do I have make you by transmuting it to your ass?!” He growled.

Roy's eye narrowed skeptically, “You don't know how to do that.”

An evil grin curved Edward's lips, “One can never be too sure.” He lifted his hands in warning.

“Don't think you can push me around, Edward.” Roy challenged and pointed to his practically half covered face, “Even like this, you won't beat me.”

Winry rolled her eyes and walked over to Roy, where she rested her hands on his shoulders and she pushed him in the chair. It was surprising that he moved so easily and without much force from her. …Almost too easy. She leaned forward, putting her face close to his, where her nose was a mere sliver from his. “Stop being so difficult, it's just hair.” She saw his lips lift in a tiny smile, barely noticeable at all to someone other than her looking at him and her eyes widened.

“Whatever you say,” He said thickly, watching as heat spread across her cheeks and she stood up away from him quickly. Roy so longed to crash his mouth to hers, to make her want it just as much as she did yesterday. But she moved away too quickly.

They were currently out in the backyard where Winry had prepared a bucket of water, towels and sheers to cut Roy's hair. She walked to him again and reached out to touch his face. “Perhaps we should take this off too, I don't want to get hair all over it, it might stick.”

He grabbed her hands quick, “No.” he said tightly and gave no reason why, this was one aspect he was not going to bend on. Roy wasn't going to let her look at something so horrid and disgusting.

“All right, all right, I won't touch it.” Winry said in a soft, soothing tone, where she lightly patted his shoulder with her finger tips. “Hair is one thing, the mask is another. I get it.”

“Do you really?” He turned his head so he could look at her, since she was on the side he couldn't see her on. Roy then moved his face in the direction of Edward so he could look at him.

“Maybe I can still catch up with Al.” Edward said folding his hands behind his back. Even though the man was his rival, the jerk wanted to talk about something serious with Winry and he sure wasn't going to do it in front of him. Even if Edward knew down in the very depths of his soul that it was a mistake to leave them alone, he just understood a need to talk to her when it arose. “But just because I am going, doesn't mean you can mistreat Winry and make her go all ga-ga over you.” He pointed at him. “I'm on to you, Old man! You won't get away with it!”

Winry rolled her eyes, “Stop exaggerating, Ed.” Hearing his humpfh then stomping away, even on the grass. “That man could make noise walking on weeds.” She shook her head with amusement. She then turned back to Roy, preparing to make magic with her hands. “Lean forward please,” which he did. Placing a towel slung over his neck and shoulders, then grabbing the small bucket where she tipped it over his head letting the water run down until his hair was wet. “You can lean back now.”

Resting against the chair, Roy couldn't see her unless she moved to his other side, or if she stood in front of him. It had been awhile since anyone cut this side of his hair, that he couldn't help but feel a little nervous. He heard the scissors in her hand and he closed his eye tight.

“I'm not going to hurt you.” She said in mild amusement.

Roy sighed, “I know. I haven't had that side of my hair cut in quite awhile.” His tone was calm, even if he was a rage of nerves inside.

“Hmm, you're hiding.” She clipped and dark raven hairs started falling to the grass as she stood there at his side.

He didn't want to admit it, but it was still a way for him to hide, she was right. Roy could still hear the clipping noises even though he didn't want to open his eye. He could feel the slight breeze against the lower part of his cheek that wasn't covered by the material.

“I've always liked your face, Roy, why would you hide it?” She asked softly, her cheeks heating. “Even when I thought I had hated you I liked it.”

“It would disgust you now.” He said, his throat sounding rough. And she appeared in front of him, where he opened his eye finding her staring down at him in disappointment.

Her brows practically met together, “Is that what you thought, that you would disgust me?” Winry leaned forward, to trim the hair on his forehead to the length she remembered his hair used to be. “That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth.” She said slightly tight, border-lining anger. She noticed that he dropped his single gaze from her.

“Look at me.” She demanded roughly, seeing that he wasn't going to. “Roy.” She said stronger, more commanding than she ever had, even with her children and he hesitated but slowly lifted that one dark orb to hers. Winry dropped the sheers to the grass and framed his face with her hands. “I don't care about this.” She cupped his cheek the material was hiding. “You wanna know something? I am actually glad about this.” She saw his confusion even if he didn't speak. “Yeah, you heard me. It could have been worse! You could have lost your fucking life, and you only come out of it with this!” She slapped his cheek, not really hard, but enough to cause a sting and she knew it stung for he flinched, but still he did not speak. “Boy am I ever glad, am I ever happy about it. It's not something to be ashamed of, Roy.” She lowered her eyes, pointing her face towards the ground. “You know what I deal with all the time, there is nothing that will shock me, certainly no battle scars of yours would ever disgust me. How could you not see that, did you really have so little faith in me?” She started to turn but he had grabbed her about the waist and pulled her into his lap, making her straddle his thighs.

Her heart pounded, and she squirmed but he only held her tighter. “What are you doing?”

“Winry, be quiet.” He ordered, and pulled her chest to his, holding her tightly to him and laying his cheek atop her head.

Blue eyes were wide for an instant before he had settled her against him, when she realized he wasn't trying to grope her or anything, she closed her eyes, breathing in his soothing scent, her arms looping tightly around his middle.

“My head was a real mess, Winry.” He spoke softly, stroking her hair, his fingers trailing down her back and up again gentle paths. “Being with you heals me inside, much more so than I ever thought possible. I should have known I could come back to you and you would continue warm me, my cold sinful soul. But I was, in a way to describe it would be, drunk with self loathing. I couldn't even look myself in the mirror because of all horrors that I let happen. I couldn't even save a child, a tiny person, pure innocence he had been. He was just trying to make his father proud, no matter that his father was homunculi. That poor child, so loving. I tried, I really did… I held him in my arms as his body was turning frigid, was unmoving and no life flowed within him. I failed, I failed so many people.”

Tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes, “Oh, Roy, you're always so lost.” And she nestled into him. Winry felt him tighten his arms about her and she did nothing to push away, she let him hold her.

“I failed you.”

“No…” She breathed.

“That's why I couldn't come back, I failed you.” He said softly, and Winry clung tighter to him. “I hide, its true. I hide behind this mask I wear, I hide it from the world so no one may see my mistakes, mistakes I could have prevented if I had looked closer to what was going on. But you hide too, Winry. You hide here in this town, far away from anything that could make you happy. You don't open yourself to anyone? I've never known you to even shield yourself from your friends the Elric brothers.

“You heard what Ed and I talked about last night, didn't you?” She said, wrapping her fingers around his dark red cotton shirt, playing with the soft material against his chest.

“Edward didn't say anything that I already didn't see myself. Even though I only have one working eye, Winry, I notice. I notice everything about you, the change in you. And you may not think that it's my fault you're like this, but it partly is. I took your heart, made you feel things even unintentionally. And it's only natural that you would want more than just a passing romp in between the sheets. Five years ago I wasn't able to give you any of that because my circumstances were all thrown to hell. But I want to change it now. Can you try, for me and for you, to give into what we both need?”

Winry squeezed her eyes shut, “I…I don't know.” More tears leaked from her eyes. “I'm not sure of anything anymore. I need to figure out my head, my heart. I'm so confused. You've once again thrown my world into chaos and I don't know if my head or heart can handle it this time.” She really didn't know what she was going to do. It hurt, everything inside felt like it was squeezing the very breath from her body. She wanted to trust Roy, but she wasn't sure if she could trust herself. She did not want to be wrong, she couldn't afford to be mistaken, not again…not ever again.

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Well that's it for this episode/chapter. Yep another fast update and I hope its to your liking! Also I wonder if anyone thinks its too soon for Winry to start acting familiar with Roy. It's just part of who she is, she is starting to open up and she doesn't even realize it yet. Let's hope she realizes it in time that she isn't the one to really lose.

Thanks for reading!

Ryoko Blue