Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction ❯ Episode1: Truly,Madly,Deeply ❯ Wanted Dead or Alive ( Chapter 2 )

II. WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE

 

In which the ikkou encounter old friends. But a face-off with the Kougaiji-tachi has to wait as they are forced to join forces to deal with the Bug Master.

 

 

A.

 

THWAK! Sanzo hits Goku over the head as the monkey spits food while arguing with the kappa. “Don't talk with your mouth full!”

 

THWAK! The kappa hits at the creepy-crawlies. “'Ch… What's wrong with this restaurant's hygiene?!”

 

THWAK! Sanzo hits Gojyo. “Don't use the harisen without permission, dammit…”

 

Gojyo grins saucily. “Oh, you mean like last night, when I -“

 

THWAK! THWAK! Hakkai bops Sanzo and Gojyo over the heads with the map. He gives them a dangerous smile. “Keep the naughty details to yourselves, if you please…”

 

 

 

B.

 

CRASH!!! Splat! Goes the restaurant.

 

“Long time no see, hage bouzu!” Lirin waves madly.

 

“Oi, it's your girlfriend…” grins the kappa.

 

“Stalker alert! Stalker alert!” chimes Goku.

 

“Maa, Sanzo, I didn't know the restraining order was lifted already…” Hakkai puts in.

 

Twitch.

 

Sanzo snatches the meat bun off Goku's hand and tosses it to Lirin. “Here. Eat!” Lirin jumps for joy.

 

Hakkai whistles. “You sure can tame them, Sanzo,” he observes.

 

“Yeah… that's my Sanzo, beast-tamer… You sure tamed me, didn't you?” croons Gojyo.

 

Goku growls. Then he pounces Sanzo and chokes him. “Grrr… I can take it when you hit me with the fan… or shoot me with the gun… I can even put up with you and the kappa slobbering all over each other… but when-you-take-my-food-away…!!!”

 

Hakkai jumps to restrain Goku. He is kicked in the face. Gojyo calls desperately to the just-arrived Kougaiji-tachi. “Help you guys… the monkey's gone ape-shit!!!”

 

Kougaiji snorts huffily. Yaone stares. Dokugakuji guffaws heartily.

 

Lirin smacks her lips.

 

 

C.

 

“Hand over the Sutra!”

 

“G—go to he-hell…” Sanzo chokes, Goku's hands still clutching his throat. Gojyo is restrained by Doku.

 

“­Fine. I'll take it by force, then!” Kougaiji jumps. Chance! he grins to himself. Fools…

 

Goku turns and crushes Kougaiji's fist in his hand.

 

“Are!? Na—nande?…” Kougaiji gasps.

 

Goku frowns, letting go of Sanzo and turning fully to face Kougaiji squarely. “It's my animal instinct, dammit…” Goku tosses back a frustrated glare to the High Priest. “…I can't help it. I'm programmed to protect him.”

 

“Sou ka…”

 

 

D.

 

“Long time no see,” Gojyo drawls as he blocks Doku's blade with Jakujou.

 

“Did you miss me?” his brother grins.

 

“Huh! As if…”

 

They jump apart. Gojyo leans in and whispers confidentially. “Seriously, Jien… am I sensing something between you and the Brat Prince? Eh?” Gojyo raises a wicked scarlet eyebrow.

 

Doku sighs and nods proudly.

 

“Seriously???” Gojyo chuckles. “Since when?”

 

“Well, let's see… I suppose it started when that goddamn Homura kami stole the sutra from us…”

 

Gojyo slaps Doku's back heartily. “Way to go, bro!”

 

 

E.

 

Yaone steps up to Hakkai. “Please fight with me.”

 

Hakkai gives a pained smile. “Be gentle with me…”

 

Yaone raises her eyebrows. “Why, Hakkai-san…” she purrs.

 

Hakkai shakes his head, wincing. “No, I really mean it… damn Goku's kick hurts…”

 

F.

 

Lirin rubs her hands gleefully. “It's just you and me, baldy Sanzo…”

 

Sanzo runs exasperated hands down his face.

 

Lirin advances determinedly. “Now… I demand you give me your autograph!”

 

Sanzo snorts.

 

Lirin pouts. “Please, pretty please, pretty Sanzo? I promise not to hawk it on Ebay…”

 

“You said that last time you little twerp!”

 

“No, I really mean it this time…”

 

Sanzo glares at the kid youkai. “You promise?” he asks sternly.

 

Lirin beams. “Hai! … Tell you what, let's do a pinky swear!”

 

Sanzo rolls his eyes. “Fine, fine…” he grumbles. He signs Lirin's photo, then hooks pinkies with Lirin. Lirin promises solemnly not to bother him again, after this. They let go.

 

Lirin squeals, cradling her hand to her chest. Her eyes sparkle. “I-am-never-going-to-wash-this-hand-ever-again!!! Yaone….” she shrieks, rushing off to giggle and confide with the pharmacist.

 

Sanzo mutters, purple eyes cast to the blue sky. “Heaven preserve me from lunatic fangirls…”

 

 

G.

 

“It would be futile to take on these mindless idiots one by one,” Sanzo states authoritatively.

 

“We gotta stomp the stink off—“ Goku and Gojyo jump to the rooftop - “at its source!” They slash the Bug Master with NyoiBou and Jakujou.

 

The Bug Master disintegrates into millions of creepy-crawlies. Gojyo and Goku step back, noses wrinkling. “Gross…”

 

They turn and jump off, ready to rejoin the others… but the others all back up and recoil, fingers pointing. “COOTIES! COOTIES!”

 

 

H.

 

The bug crawls into Lirin's ear. Her powers and strength increase tenfold. “Get me the Sutra!” the Bug Master commands.

 

Lirin ignores him, cackling wildly. “After I get a kiss…”

 

“OI! Get off of me!” Sanzo yells, as Lirin jumps on his shoulders, trying to force his head around for a kiss.

 

Gojyo turns from discussing the amazing parallel of his love life with Doku. Red eyes harden as he beholds the kid youkai molesting his Sanzo. “Damn you…” He lunges.

 

Lirin easily swings an arm from her perch and tosses Gojyo off.

 

Click! The save-and-protect mechanism in the monkey's brain kicks into gear. He tackles Lirin and they sprawl to the ground. “Good thing I watch WWF all the time… Hehehe…”

 

Lirin blinks up at Goku. “As tempted as I am, Goku, it's baldy Sanzo that I want.”

 

“You wish!!!”

 

Lirin throws Goku off. She advances on Sanzo once more. Kougaiji blocks her. “What's gotten into you, Lirin?”

 

(Author: “Duh! A bug! Baka…”)

 

“Outta my way, onii-chan… reading and writing fanfiction just isn't enough anymore… I want the real thing!”

 

“LI-RIN!” Kougaiji gasps.

 

Lirin grabs her brother's face and forces him back. “The only way out is through… Hehehe…”

 

Doku panics. “Kou my sweet!” He jabs Lirin hard in the side. The possessed youkai yelps in pain, then turns frenzied eyes to her brother's keeper.

 

“And as for you…” Lirin snarls. She flying-kicks them both to the dust. “Your noises keep me awake nights, darn it!” Lirin dusts off her hands. “That's why my teenage hormones are raging in the first place…” she mutters.

 

She charges again. Sanzo is frantically dialing Kanzeon Bosatsu on his mobile, but all he gets is a busy signal. Gojyo and Hakkai restrain Lirin. She pushes them doggedly along. Goku, Kougaiji and Dokugakuji join the two. Brawny male arms encircle her everywhere.

 

In the middle, Lirin shakes with fury and frustration. “Hrrr… how many times must I tell you… I don't want ANY of you!!! I want that aloof, superior, impossibly gorgeous monk over there!!!” She throws the five men off.

 

Lirin marches up to Sanzo one more time.

 

“Dammit, kid, I already gave you my autograph!!!”

 

“Hehehe…”

 

“You promised!!!”

 

“That was so five seconds ago…”

 

“K'so…” Sanzo aims the gun.

 

“O-Oi!” Kougaiji stammers helplessly.

 

Sanzo growls. “I'm gonna shoot her… I'm really gonna shoot her!” he threatens desperately.

 

Yaone saves the day. “Lirin!” she shouts from the rooftop. “Look who's here!…” Behind her steps out… a pale, blonde, graceful figure with a beautiful face.

 

Lirin halts in her tracks and jumps for the roof, screaming. “Legolas!!!”

 

Yaone quickly showers her with pesticide. When the fog clears, Lirin pouts to discover she is hugging a scowling Zakuro. “Foiled again! Hrrr…”

 

“Smooth, Yaone… real smooth!” calls Hakkai.

 

Yaone curtsies.

 

Sanzo mutters, wipes off his forehead, and blows on his bangs.