Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction ❯ Episode1: Truly,Madly,Deeply ❯ Little Will ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

The demented result of an overactive imagination. The *secret* Saiyuki love affair you didn�t see� Behind the scenes of Reload. Here we go again�

Anime/Manga: Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Comedy / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 09.01.2005 | Updated On: 10.02.2005 | Pages: 8 | Words: 5.0K | Visits: 567 | Status: Completed

VII. LITTLE WILL: THE LITTLE SIDEKICK

In which the implacable, cold, dignified Sanzo Houshi-Sama is undone by a teeny-tiny ball of fur. As Gojyo purrs in Saiyuki Reload's actual next-episode preview: “Darn Sanzo… He's kinda cute…”

“Did someone say Beef Bowl?” Goku asks, absent-mindedly bonking a youkai over the head and crashing his fist into another.

“Bakazaru, all you think about is food!” Gojyo scolds, back-to-back with Sanzo. Jakujou sings, and a dozen youkai drop lifeless. The Smith and Wesson fires, and five more join the crowd.

“And all you think about is necking!” Goku scolds back, as Gojyo sneaks a pinch at Sanzo's behind. The gun backfires. Sanzo yelps. “Dammit kappa, not while I'm reloading!”

“Oops… sorry, angel face…”

The rest of the bounty hunter youkai flee. “At last! We're done! Let's eat!!!” crows Goku.

The bushes rustle. They freeze. Then out patters… a tiny li'l kitten.

“Kawaii!!!” purrs the kappa.

“So little… is she an orphan, do you think?” clucks the mother hen.

“Ne, can we take her with us?” demands the monkey. He turns to ask Sanzo…

… and finds the High Priest high up a tree, cursing, arms and legs wrapped around a tree limb, and hanging on for dear life as a sneezing fit threatens to shake him off his branch.

“Is your cold back, sweetie pie?” calls Gojyo worriedly.

“Um, Hakkai, I think Gojyo sneaked into Sanzo's room again last night…” murmurs Goku, aside.

“Eh, neither of us was sick last night!” Gojyo glares at Goku.

“You guys… I think Sanzo's allergic,” explains Hakkai mildly.

“Of this little thing?!” Goku snorts disbelievingly.

Gojyo waves a dismissive hand. “Heh. That's okay, then… he'll get over it. He used to be allergic to me too…”

“OI!” Sanzo yells from his perch. “Ged bi sub vugging Gleenex, dabbit…”

On the floor, Gojyo, Goku and Hakkai fuss over the kitten. Seated at the table, a wretched, red-eyed, itchy-nosed Sanzo twitches in irritation.

“Good for you! Tama!” Goku.

“She's a calico… her name should be Meeka…” Hakkai.

“I'll close the windows for you, Betty…” Gojyo.

“Oi…” Sanzo.

“Demo… I wonder why she likes Sanzo so much?” Goku.

“Maybe you remind her of her mother…” Hakkai.

“Damn you… omae o korosu…” Twitch.

“Then that makes me your daddy!” Gojyo beams at Betty.

“Meow?” she blinks.

“OI!” TWITCH.

“What do you say, Sanzo sweets? I've always wanted to have your baby, you know…” ***

(***A/N: See Barely Breathing by same author.)

THWAK!

Sanzo shakes with fury as Hakkai and Goku snort and choke, muffling their chuckles. Gojyo blinks confusedly. “That's IT! Everyone get back to your rooms! That includes you…” purple eyes glare at the kappa.

Gojyo objects. “No way, angel! I'll die…” he pleads.

Sanzo rolls his eyes.

“When-I'm-not-with-you-I-lose-my-mind… Give-me-a-sign… HIT-ME-BABY-ONE-MORE-TIME!”

“Ugh.” Sanzo winces, and gives in. Gojyo does a jig, forgetting Betty momentarily. Sanzo orders Hakkai to take the cat.

“But Hakkai already has Hakuryu…” Goku pouts, lower lip jutting.

“Whatever. (Atchoo!) Just get - get the cat (Atchoo!) far away from me!”

Hakkai leaves with Hakuryu, and Goku happily follows behind him, hugging Tama.

Meanwhile, Gojyo, still on a Britney Spears kick, continues to sing. “I'm a slaaaaave for you…” He waggles his eyebrows at Sanzo.

“Baka erogappa…”

Deep night. Darkness. Moonlight.

“Sanzo!”

“Gojyo!”

Sighs. Murmurs. Wet sounds of passionate kisses.

“Sanzo…”

“Gojyo…”

“Sanz—OW!” Gojyo yelps, as Sanzo pulls back quickly, covers his mouth, and sneezes. Their foreheads crack together.

Sanzo pokes his head out from under the covers, golden hair tousled wildly. He groans and hangs his head, cursing a blue streak. “Atchoo!!!”

“Motherflbdbgmnk…” Gojyo mumbles, clutching his head. He peeps over Sanzo's shoulder. He blinks. “Bad girl, Betty!” he scolds.

Sanzo banishes Gojyo away to his own room, with the cat. Gojyo scolds Goku for not taking care of her. “I won't let you be lonely, Betty,” he croons, kissing the kitty's forehead. Sanzo bares his teeth in a snarl and stomps back to his room, banging the door.

A short while later…

Gojyo is punished and told to take a time-out in the corner. Goku shakes his head at the kappa. Hakkai, holding Meeka, shakes his head at them both.

BLAM! Sanzo's door slams.

“Yare yare.. Darn you two…”

A short while later…

Gojyo crawls back into bed with Sanzo. “The babysitter is looking after the baby…” he croons wickedly.

“Baka…”

They kiss….

Then Sanzo jerks away, nose twitching. “You smell like a cat!”

“I do NOT!” Gojyo huffs.

“AT-CHOO!!! Atchoo-atchoo-atchoo…” Sanzo's eyes water. He kicks Gojyo out of bed. “Go tage a shower, dabbit… ATCHOO!”

“My, my, we ARE sensitive, aren't we… humidity** and cats and Tenkai knows what else…”

“Grrr… How about—atchoo! —cogroachez, you idzedzitib adibal…”

Gojyo yelps. “I'm going! I'm going!”

**A/N: See Heatwave, by same author.

Dawn.

“HAT-CHOOO!!!”

Low, colorful, vicious cursing.

Sanzo yanks at Gojyo's hair.

Gojyo snuggles deeper into Sanzo's chest, mumbling sleepily. “But I did take a shower, dumpling… We took one together, remember…”

“Baka! She's - atchoo! - she's back! Now do sumdink aboud id…” *sniff*

“Is this how you're going to behave with our kids, sweetheart? Coz if it is, they're going to—“

THWAK!

“Quid daydreabig ad tage her away…” Sanzo wails.

“Yare yare… You're so adorable!!!”

“GOJYO!!!”

Morning.

The three youkai depart for groceries.

“Maa, Sanzo, don't forget to feed Tama, okay?” Goku pokes his head around the door.

“Don't feed her anything that's too hot!” cautions the kappa. “You might burn our poor baby… Test it on the inside of your wrist first…”

Hakkai blinks. “I didn't know you're familiar with baby care, Gojyo.”

“Heh. I've been reading up. Gotta be prepared for a li'l Sanzo or mini-me…”

TWITCH.

“Well, Sanzo, read her a story, why don't you? You know Meeka can understand what we say…” Hakkai grins.

“Just. Goddamn. Go.”

The door clicks. Then it opens. Gojyo pokes his head around.

“Sing her a lullaby, sweets… You know, the one you sing to me - oops!”

CRASH! Sanzo throws his mug at the door.

“URUSEI!”

“Hee hee… I gotta admit, you're kinda cute…” Sanzo smiles as he lounges in bed with the purring kitten. He winces, remembering the near-disaster with the boiling milk.

Creak.

Purple eyes flash, and Sanzo dives for the floor. Blades fly at him… Kitty intercepts the blades. She falls to the floor in a pool of blood.

“OI!” Sanzo kneels in front of the stricken cat. “Oi… Get a hold of yourself…” Sanzo trembles.

The youkai sneers. “Why, Sanzo Houshi, I never thought you'd get all upset over a cat…”

“Unforgivable…” Sanzo rasps. He gets slowly up to his feet, fists clenched, jaw set. “Damn you…” He whips around, the gun gleaming deadly cold in his hand. “How dare you do this to our baby!!!”

BANG-BANG-BANG!

Nearby, in the street, Goku drops his bag of groceries. “He's lost it!!!” the monkey wails, and dashes off.

“Yare yare…” mutters Hakkai, following swiftly.

“Note to self, for future reference: implement gun ban when leaving my sweetie alone with our babies…” Gojyo sprints after them.

Inside, Sanzo points the gun at the cowering leader. “You filth… her daddy's gonna go ballistic on me!!!”

Gojyo goes ballistic, until Hakkai excitedly announces that the cat is still breathing. They rush her to the vet. Like any Gato, she has nine lives. While the ikkou croon over her, the real owner shows up. They surrender Meimei to her master.

Later, in the jeep…

“Demo… Tama was really cute, wasn't she?” sighs Goku.

“Stop calling her that! She's Meeka…” Hakkai smiles fondly.

“Betty! Her name is Betty…” sniffs Gojyo.

“'Ch.”

“How can you be so cold, angel? We were both her foster daddies for a while, you know…”

“Oi, oi, me too, me too!”

“Don't forget me, I prepared her bed…”

Silence.

Then the kappa leans close. “Sanzo… I really, really, want to have your baby…”

Twitch.

“Hey, you know what, I just read the other day that scientists in France are doing research on male pregnancy,” mentions Hakkai seriously. **

(**A/N: True!)

“Eh?” Goku wrinkles his nose.

Gojyo looks interested. “Really, Hakkai?”

“So you can be the surrogate mommy… or daddy… whatever…” Goku addresses Hakkai.

“Are!? Why me?” Hakkai protests.

“Heh. Course it can't be Sanzo! He's a Houshi-Sama!” snorts Goku.

“Besides, you already have the nurturing instinct down pat… you're the caretaker, and you tell great bedtime stories, and you can do laundry and cook well, and all that stuff,” points out Gojyo.

“Dis-cri-mi-na-shuuunnnn!!!” Hakkai bangs his palm against the steering wheel with each syllable. Hakuryu squeaks in protest. “Sorry, baby,” the healer apologizes. Then he turns a baleful glare on Gojyo. “Why don't YOU have the baby? You're the one who wants it so much!”

“And ruin my fabulous figure? You're freaking kidding me, right?” Gojyo blinks incredulously.

“OI!!!”

Emerald, ruby and golden eyes slide to the priest. Amethyst eyes stare icily at them.

“No. One. Is. Getting. Pregnant.”

Twitch.

“I. Can't. Believe. You're. Even. Having. This. Conversation.”

“Um…” Goku ventures haltingly. “Why. Are. You. Talking. Like. This… ?”

“URUSEI!!!”

BANG-BANG-BANG!!!

After a while, Gojyo shrugs. “Well, I don't suppose it matters for a while yet…”

“Huh.”

“…I mean, we're a complete family unit right here: two daddies, a mother hen, and a little brat.” He grips Goku in a headlock and musses his hair. The jeep squeaks. “Oh! And a family pet to boot!”

“Kyu!!!”

“Yare yare… and now I'm a female chicken…”

Gojyo and Goku scuffle as Goku struggles to break the headlock.

“Quit it, cockroach!”

“Aw, play along, why dontcha…”

“Beavis!”

“Butthead!”

Sanzo mutters. “Give me the goddamn cat anytime… onegai shimasu!!!”