Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction ❯ Episode1: Truly,Madly,Deeply ❯ Trick Or Treat ( Chapter 10 )

July 27, 2005

 

X. TRICK OR TREAT/ YOUKAI GENJO SANZO

 

 

In which the naughty Gojyo and Hakkai plant a very disturbing thought in poor Goku's mind. Could it be? … Sanzo… a youkai?

 

A.

 

“One thousand… he surely must have killed his thousandth demon, by now…” Gojyo massages the small of Sanzo's back with his foot. “Whaddya think, angel? Surely you're up to the limit, by now…”

 

Sanzo shrugs off Gojyo's foot. “You should know by now…” he grumbles.

 

“That's right! I forg—“

 

Gojyo is cut short when Sanzo pulls out the harisen. “One more humidity joke out of you or Befanini, and I swear…”

 

Gojyo and Befanini sweatdrop.

 

The ikkou *all* sweatdrop, by the gallon, the sauna nearly smothering them.

 

“This is a pointless test of endurance, wouldn't you say?” gasps Hakkai.

 

“Huh. *Nobody* can beat me at endurance.” Gojyo waggles his eyebrows suggestively. He leans down. “Ne, Sanzo baby?” he purrs.

 

“'Ch.”

 

“Demo,” Hakkai cuts in. “It's true that if a man kills a thousand youkai, he turns into one himself…”

 

Goku struggles. “So that means… you killed, er—five hundred, right, Gojyo?”

 

Gojyo whistles. “That's right, Einstein. Wow. I'm impressed.”

 

“Seems like our tutoring sessions are paying off, huh, Goku?” Hakkai smiles and ruffles Goku's hair. Goku beams proudly.

 

Twitch.

 

“So, whaddya think, saru? Isn't it Sanzo's turn now to become a demon?” insists Gojyo merrily.

 

“Nope,” Goku replies with utter confidence.

 

“You sound so sure of yourself,” Hakkai falters.

 

Goku nods. “'Course Sanzo won't become a demon. He can always purify himself of the evil, right?”

 

“Sou ka…”

 

“True, true.”

 

Goku sticks his tongue out triumphantly at the two best friends.

 

“He laughs best who laughs last…” drawls Sanzo in a dry voice.

 

 

B.

 

Goku rushes to the game room, but finds it empty, the ping-pong game abandoned. “Darn those two! Where can they be, at a time like this?!”

 

He crashes into the movie theater. Hakkai and Gojyo jump a foot into the air, screaming.

 

“AHA! Caught you! You rogue…” Goku points an accusing finger at Gojyo.

 

“What the hell?!…”

 

“You're smooching with Hakkai! Here, in this dark theatre… What a cliché. I'm telling Sanzo, I'm telling…”

 

Hakkai recoils, nose wrinkling in revulsion. “AS IF!!!”

 

Gojyo, too, makes a face. “Are you HYSTERICAL, baka saru?! That's like INCEST, you nincompoop…”

 

Goku's forehead wrinkles. “Like… that stuff they burn at the temple?”

 

Hakkai explains. Gojyo cuts in impatiently. “What the hell are you tearing around the place for, anyway?”

 

“That's right! I came to tell you that Sanzo's ears are *pointy*!”

 

“Hmm… long nails… pointy ears…” Hakkai pretends to ponder the matter seriously. But Gojyo wails.

 

“My poor angel! Oh no…” The kappa tears at his hair.

 

“What's wrong with you?” Goku asks disgustedly. “Don't tell me Sanzo is really turning into a—“

 

“AN ORC!!! Sweet Tenkai… I have to find him! Poor baby…” Gojyo staggers out.

 

Hakkai chokes.

 

Goku is more bewildered than ever.

 

 

C.

 

Goku comes crashing in again, in a panic. This time Hakkai and Gojyo are playing with water pistols.

 

“Yeah!” Gojyo grins, aiming his pistol and squinting down the barrel. “This is fun… Sanzo never lets me play with his gun…”

 

“That's not how I heard last night…” Hakkai grins.

 

“My, my, is Hakkai-san actually telling a dirty joke?”

 

“I'm saying you two were pretty loud again last night.”

 

“YOU GUYS!” Goku yells frantically. They turn, and douse him. “Dammit, quit it!!!” Goku yells, as Hakkai and Gojyo spray him gleefully. “We need one of those when we all gotta share a room, HORNY water cockroach… not at a time like this!”

 

“Bulls-eye, Goku!” Hakkai cheers.

 

Gojyo hoots, unfazed. “And what is it this time, bakazaru?”

 

Goku tells them that he can positively confirm the third warning sign: Sanzo has strange markings!

 

Hakkai raises his brows disbelievingly.

 

“Describe,” Gojyo orders.

 

“Um… er… Let's see…” Goku thinks back, his forehead scrunched. “Yeah, yeah, it was a red heart, with an arrow, and a letter S and the letters Gj inside the heart…”

 

Gojyo's eyes goggle. “Oh shit… I totally forgot to wipe off the pretend tattoo I drew on him last night…”

 

“Pretend tattoo?” Hakkai asks.

 

“Yeah… We were talking about maybe exchanging vials of blood, like Angelina and Billy Bob, but we decided to try tattoos first…” Gojyo sweatdrops. “I drew those on him, just to see what they look like…”

 

“*Those*?” Hakkai stresses the plural.

 

“A… Hehehe…”

 

Elsewhere…

 

Sanzo frowns as Goku dashes away. He peers curiously at the arm that had so alarmed the monkey…

 

… and spies the tattoo.

 

Twitch.

 

He looks at the other arm, and finds another: the letters to their names intricately intertwined…

 

TWITCH.

 

The workmen assigned to paint the pattern in the hallway goggle and whistle as Sanzo yanks up his shirt. He reads on his chest, upside-down:

 

`EXCLUSIVE PROPERTY OF SHA GOJYO!' Red hearts and kisses cover his torso.

 

Sanzo cranes his head, trying to read the writing on his back. The workman reads aloud helpfully:

 

“…ALL TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT! (Or beheaded by the Jakujou, whichever is convenient at the time.).”

 

“Grrr…”

 

“Er—“ the workman grins. “Your back is also covered with SanzoxGojyo and GojyoxSanzo and `The Kappa and The Priest' and lots and lots of 5x3 and 3x5…”

 

“GOJYO!!!”

 

D.

 

Gojyo, Goku and Hakkai pursue the blond youkai.

 

“Bakazaru! I'm telling you that ISN'T Sanzo!”

 

“Are you *blind*, baka erogappa?! Take a good look at him!”

 

“Yare yare, will you two argue later… Let's split up and look for him!”

 

“Hrrr…” Gojyo gnashes his teeth. “That. Is. Not. My. Sanzo!”

 

“How can you be so sure, wise guy?!” challenges Goku.

 

“Coz if it were, I'd be black and blue by now,” Gojyo declares cryptically.

 

“Eh?” frowns Goku.

 

“Eh?” echoes Hakkai.

 

Gojyo grins. “Just… trust me on this one…”

 

E.

 

“That is NOT my buttercup!” Gojyo insists again. “Although he has to be one of the most handsome devils I've ever had the pleasure of fighting…”

 

“I'm telling! I'm telling!”

 

“Damare! Tattletale bakazaru…”

 

“Guys…” Hakkai pleads helplessly as he and the youkai play tag. “I don't have time to summon my chi! A little help, if you please…”

 

“Fine! Let's settle this once and for all…” Gojyo plants himself in the path of the youkai and Hakkai, who are going around in circles. As soon as Hakkai rushes by, Gojyo grabs the demon, bends it over his arm, and french-kisses it.

 

The youkai gives Gojyo an upper cut that lodges Gojyo halfway up the ceiling. The youkai claws at his mouth, spitting and gagging.

 

“Sou ka… Alright, I believe you, Gojyo,” Goku calls.

 

Sha Gojyo's long legs jerk weakly, his upper body imbedded in the ceiling.

 

“Yare yare, Goku, do you always need hard proof?” Hakkai pants, catching his breath.

 

“Kill the bastard,” mumbles the kappa.

 

“That's right, I forgot…” Hakkai summons a chi ball and faces the revolted youkai, who is wiping his mouth off with Goku's cape.

 

“Not him… kill the doubting Thomas, over there…” Gojyo growls, finally dropping down. Jakujou gleams deadly cold in his hand. He advances on Goku menacingly.

 

Goku yelps. “You touch me and I tell Sanzo you kissed somebody else!”

 

Gojyo halts, scowling. “And a goddamn blackmailer to boot…”

 

Goku crows triumphantly. “Hehehe…”

 

 

F.

 

“Aw, c'mon… let's just risk it… damn the consequences…” Gojyo moans in Sanzo's ear.

 

Sanzo groans, but gives a negative shake of his head. He rolls over and pins Gojyo beneath him, tangling his fingers in silky crimson hair. “I don't want you getting hurt…” he murmurs, leaning down to capture Gojyo's mouth.

 

Gojyo moans as Sanzo's tongue tip licks at the seam of his lips. “Please, baby…” Brown hands reach up and frame Sanzo's face. “Take off your limiter… just for tonight…”

 

“Iie.” Instead, Sanzo opens his mouth and kisses the kappa long and deep, his tongue piercing teasingly scraping against Gojyo's tongue.

 

“Dammit…” Gojyo curses. “As if you weren't already the sexiest thing alive… you just have to have your limiter in the most sinful place imaginable…”

 

Sanzo smirks. “Of course, baka. The less conspicuous it is, the better.”

 

Gojyo growls. “It's our little secret, right?”

 

“That's right, baby. Now shut up and kiss me…”

 

“Anything you say, sweets…”