Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction ❯ Episode1: Truly,Madly,Deeply ❯ Mother ( Chapter 11 )

XI. MOTHER/IMAGE OF LOVE

 

In which the delusional Lirin and Goku “fake” Goku's kidnapping in an attempt to “borrow” the sutra, all because they feel sorry for two human children who have lost their mother.

 

 

A.

“Harahetta….”

 

“Quit slacking and help us finish them off, bakazaru!” Gojyo scolds, as more youkai come charging.

 

“Demo… I'm too starved to act up, you know…”

 

“Always with your same old pattern…” Gojyo walks off to resume fighting, stealing a quick smooch on Sanzo's neck.

 

“You too…” Goku says weakly.

 

“Yapoo! What's up, baldy Sanzo?” Lirin drops down from above.

 

“Yare yare, here's another one with the same old pattern,” sighs Hakkai.

 

Lirin grabs Sanzo's leg and rubs her face against it. Sanzo frowns down at her. “Shoo! Go away! Can't you see we're busy?!” He tries to shake her off. Lirin hangs on, her smile blissful. Sanzo rolls his eyes. “Sweetie pie…” he calls.

 

Gojyo walks over, and plants his hands on his hips, frowning. He grabs hold of Lirin's collar and plucks her off Sanzo and holds her aloft, like a little puppy. “We don't have time for you, kid!” he scolds.

 

“Nuh-uh! Hage Sanzo owes me a date…”

 

“Nanda to?!”

 

“That's right. For saving you guys when your memories were stolen. Ask the monkey if you don't believe me…” She holds up an IOU card, signed by a spidery hand.

 

Red, green and purple eyes slide to Goku. He scowls. “I was *desperate*, all right?! You might have the grace to thank me for saving your sorry butts…”

 

 

B.

 

“Nani? You lost Goku?” asks Sanzo, incredulously.

 

“Yes… he was gone, just like that,” answers Hakkai, busily stirring something on the stove.

 

“Eh. He's likely gone on the date with Lirin…” Gojyo dismisses.

 

“Our little baby is growing up…” sniffs Hakkai.

 

“Don't tease him when he gets back, you two,” warns Sanzo. “He's at a sensitive age.”

 

“Like you…” purrs Gojyo, fondling Sanzo's chin with his finger.

 

“Baka! *Sensitive* like a teenager!”

 

“Like me, then… my hormones are *raging*!” growls the kappa, winking suggestively.

 

“Silly! It's early yet…” grins the monk.

 

“Yare yare, eat up then, to have enough energy.” Hakkai shakes his head.

 

“Yosh! Shabu-shabu!” Gojyo rubs his hands together eagerly.

 

Hakkai sets down a full nappa course: nappa soup, entrée, fried nappa, stewed nappa, boiled nappa, baked nappa, nappa tempura, nappa stir-fry, and the piece de resistance: nappa salad, with boiled rice.

 

Gojyo stares. Sanzo picks up his chopsticks and eats heartily. Gojyo blinks. Hakkai laughs.

 

“This is monastery food, Gojyo,” he informs the stunned kappa. “You miss home cooking, huh?” he teases Sanzo.

 

Sanzo sighs sentimentally. “Just like my Master used to make…”

 

 

C.

 

Hakkai knocks on Sanzo's door. From inside comes a hiss.

 

“Oi! Wrap a sheet around yourself, baka…”

 

“Nah, this'll do…”

 

Gojyo answers the door, his hair wildly tousled, a pillow covering his private parts. From the bed, Sanzo mutters impatiently, his fingers drumming a tattoo on the sheets.

 

Wordlessly, Hakkai hands them the note.

 

“Goku's been kidnapped?!” Gojyo exclaims.

 

“Bullshit,” drawls Sanzo.

 

“Bull… shit?”

 

“Look at the paper, baka.”

 

Gojyo looks. Besides the familiar, chicken-scratch writing, the note is written in wrapping-paper. Wrapping-paper that smells like donuts.

 

“You should've seen that, Hakkai!” grumps Gojyo, turning away to dive back into bed with Sanzo, and mooning Hakkai in the process.

 

Hakkai covers his eyes and gropes blindly to pull the door shut. “Gomen, gomen… yare yare…”

 

Inside, Gojyo wails loudly in protest. “What do you mean you've lost the *mood*, angel? C'mon…” he coaxes, murmuring love words.

 

Hakkai covers his ears and runs for it.

 

 

D.

 

“You're sure Priest Sanzo will show up?” asks Shunto.

 

“Huh. Of course he will. Sanzo will *never* abandon me,” boasts the monkey.

 

Morning.

 

Lirin clobbers Goku. “Where's baldy Sanzo, then?!” she screams. “You said he'd never abandon you!”

 

“Urusei!” pouts Goku.

 

Lirin narrows her eyes. “You don't mean…”

 

“Damare!!!” yells Goku desperately.

 

“Huh!” Lirin plants her hands on her hips. “He and that darn Gojyo were *busy* again last night, weren't they?” Lirin growls jealously. “That's why they forgot you…”

 

“I said SHUT UP!” Goku throttles Lirin.

 

“Boink-boink-boink…” Lirin chokes out.

 

“Well, you'll never know yourself! Sanzo belongs to Gojyo!”

 

“Says who?!?”

 

“Didn't you read the last chapter? I thought you were into Saiyuki fanfiction…”

 

“I'm into SanzoxLirin pairings only, baka!”

 

“Good luck getting Google to turn up any matches…”

 

“Oh… EAT MY SHORTS!” Lirin retorts.

 

“Gimme then! I'm starving… You wasted my shabu-shabu for nothing…”

 

Rikito consoles his little brother as Shunto gapes helplessly. “It's no use asking help from them, Shunto,” he says. “Hakuryu is the only rational one left of the ikkou… occasionally Hakkai, when he doesn't have a migraine or ulcer…”

 

 

E.

 

Shunto pleads for his life when the youkai reveals its true colors. Hakkai, Gojyo and Sanzo finally show up and save the day.

 

“Sorry it took so long,” grins Gojyo, his arm around a sleep-deprived, glowing Sanzo.

 

Goku ignores them both, but turns accusing eyes to Hakkai. “I thought I could count on *you*,” he sniffs plaintively.

 

“Gomen, Goku… I was busy printing these up…” Hakkai shows a flyer to Lirin. Lirin collapses on the ground, rolling with laughter.

 

Goku frowns and snatches up the piece of paper. His eyes pop indignantly.

 

`LOST: PET MONKEY. ANSWERS TO GOKU, OR BAKAZARU. WILL EAT ANYTHING. WEARS HIS COLLAR ON HIS HEAD. WARNING! DO *NOT* TAKE OFF DIADEM!'

 

Goku snarls, and is on the verge of a nasty, full-blown sulk, until Sanzo disengages himself from Gojyo, walks over, and flips the paper over.

 

“Read the whole thing, baka,” Sanzo chides. Printed on the back is the continuation:

 

`…OWNER WILLING TO PAY THE ULTIMATE REWARD OF THE MATEN SUTRA FOR SAFE RETURN OF BELOVED MONKEY. Call Hakkai (the owner's secretary) at this number…'

 

Goku's eyes beam with joy. He pounces Sanzo, tumbling the monk to the ground, wriggling with happiness. “I *knew* you wouldn't abandon me, I *knew* it…”

 

“Okay, okay, enough!” Sanzo begs. “Pumpkin…” he calls.

 

Gojyo hauls Goku off. Goku pounces Gojyo as well, then wriggles to Hakkai.

 

“I thought you objected to being called anybody's pet?” Lirin asks. “I read that in Chapter III…”

 

“I'm NOT anybody's pet!” Goku denies hotly, dusting himself off.

 

“Yeah? Let's see…” Lirin walks over and borrows Shunto's whistle. She blows. “Sit!” she commands.

 

Goku sits.

 

“Roll over!”

 

Goku rolls over.

 

“Play dead!”

 

Goku plays dead.

 

Lirin tosses the whistle back. “See? I told you…”