Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction ❯ Episode1: Truly,Madly,Deeply ❯ Critical Day ( Chapter 18 )

XVIII. CRITICAL DAY / THE BOND OF SADNESS

 

 

In which the volatile priest and the mercurial kappa start their search in the mountains and encounter a band of youkai who still haven't learned their lesson. Goku and Hakkai wake up in a strange place, where the privileged monkey gets to see Hakkai take off his power limiters to beat the “Last Boss”.

 

Meanwhile, Sanzo and Gojyo bicker all the way and deny that they are friends; but when the last youkai jumps off a cliff and takes Sanzo with him, Gojyo reacts without thought, and refuses to let Sanzo die. There is a very *interesting* millisecond “cut” scene (just before the click of the lighter) that has Gojyo teasing Sanzo: “I *knew* you weren't sweet…” To which Sanzo haughtily scoffs: “I don't *want* you to think I'm sweet…” SO SWEET!

 

 

A.

 

Sanzo and Gojyo walking up the mountain.

 

“Oi…”

 

“Nande?”

 

“I want to ask you a question.”

 

“Dakara nanda?!?”

 

“…Are you *really* breaking up with me?”

 

“What do you *think*?” Sanzo snorts.

 

“Then what was that all about back at the inn?” (A/N: See last chapter.)

 

“That was a slip-up.”

 

“A slip-up?”

 

“Ah. Don't you know anything? Lots of couples who have broken up get into the self-destructive pattern of sleeping with their exes, even though the relationship is over.”

 

“Hmm. You've been watching Hakkai's favorite TV shows too, haven't you?”

 

“Urusei,” Sanzo growls, cheeks pink. “It's not like you can escape, once he's turned the damn thing on…”

 

“Yeah, I know…”

 

B.

 

“You're useless!” Sanzo spits.

 

“You're arrogant!” Gojyo snarls.

 

“You're *hot*!” Sanzo groans, unable to help himself.

 

“You're *gorgeous*!” Gojyo moans helplessly.

 

“Uhn…”

 

“Mmm…”

 

“Matte!” Sanzo struggles in Gojyo's arms. “We're broken up, remember?”

 

“But I *want* you,” Gojyo groans in Sanzo's ear. “Let's break up after ten minutes, baby…”

 

“You bastard…” Sanzo sighs.

 

“You sexy beast…” Gojyo breathes.

 

 

C.

 

“We're at a deadlock,” Gojyo deadpans, sitting on a stump and lighting a cigarette. “We can't *not* be together, but we can't seem to *stay* together…”

 

“Whose fault *that* is, I'd like to know…” Sanzo mutters, lighting a cigarette of his own.

 

“Oh… I don't know… maybe the arrogant, unreasonably distrustful High Priest's?” Gojyo raises an eyebrow.

 

“Or *maybe* the incorrigible, desperately flirtatious erogappa's?” Sanzo snarls.

 

“Dammit, angel, I *told* you, I was drawn to the kid… He said his parents passed away, and you don't want to have my baby, so I—“

 

THWAK!

 

“Am I a woman? Can I get pregnant? Can you *seriously* picture me big with your child? CAN YOU?!?” Sanzo hisses. “Why am *I* always the uke? How about *you* having *my* baby?! Huh?”

 

Gojyo winces. “But that's exactly my point! I don't give a *shit* who's the dominant one, baby,” he whispers softly, moving to take Sanzo in his arms. “That's why the thought of adopting Kinkaku and Ginkaku seemed such a perfect idea…” He nuzzles Sanzo's throat.

 

“Baka…” Sanzo growls. “And look how it turned out… They're our enemy! Hakkai and Goku are just empty shells, thanks to you…”

 

“So shoot me. I did it all for love.” Gojyo wraps possessive arms around Sanzo.

 

Sanzo struggles to think clearly. “The kid's unusual obsession with right and wrong really bugs me,” he rasps, clasping Gojyo's head and tilting his chin to allow the kappa greater access. He shudders. “Someone must have implanted the idea in his head…”

 

“Mmm…” Gojyo trembles against his lover. “He said kami-sama is on his side,” he mumbles against Sanzo's jaw.

 

“Hmm…”

 

 

D.

 

Hakkai and Goku wake up in the weird place.

 

“Ano…” Hakkai surveys their surroundings. “I never expected to go to Heaven, but Hell looks like a really savage place…”

 

“You don't mean we're *dead*, Hakkai?!” Goku cries.

 

“I don't know. Do you feel dead?”

 

“It's impossible! We *can't* die before Sanzo does!”

 

Hakkai's eyes widen. “A… Hehehe… You're absolutely right, Goku.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“If those two are left by themselves…”

 

Goku's jaw drops. “You mean…” he breathes.

 

“They'll likely starve to death,” Hakkai confirms. “The mission will be forgotten, and my poor Hakuryu will perish from want of food…” Hakkai worries.

 

“You're not saying they'll stay locked up in their bedroom forever, are you?” Goku asks doubtfully.

 

Hakkai raises his eyebrows meaningfully. “Well… maybe Sanzo will send Gojyo out for cigarettes and Starbucks and sake from time to time…”

 

“I don't believe it,” Goku scowls.

 

“With the *animal* chemistry between those two? You better believe it,” Hakkai states grimly. “I bet they're making out right this instant…”

 

 

E.

 

Right this instant, the forest is silent save for sighs and murmurs and the wet, torrid sounds of passionate kissing. Until…

 

“Mmm… Angel…” Gojyo says weakly. “Something's bugging me…”

 

Sanzo stops nibbling on Gojyo's ear. “You don't have to tell me. I know.” Sanzo stands up and straightens his robe. “Oi! Come out!” he calls loudly to the trees. “You sick perverts…

 

The voyeurs catcall and whistle. “My my, so the rumors *are* true… Genjo Sanzo the Rogue Priest and Sha Gojyo the Rogue's Lover can't keep their hands off each other…”

 

Sanzo cocks his gun. “He's not my lover anymore!”

 

Gojyo glares in frustration. “You guys have really bad timing, you know that?!” He summons Jakujou. “Just when we were about to make up…” He stands behind Sanzo and wraps his arms around him. “C'mon sweets… call me baby…” he murmurs against Sanzo's nape.

 

“Gojyo…” Sanzo rams an elbow into Gojyo's stomach. “I'll call you Evil Star.”

 

Gojyo grimaces. “My horoscope today really *sucks*…”

 

“You brought this upon us,” Sanzo scowls as the youkai close in. “Quit bellyaching and get to work!”

 

“First tell me you love me.”

 

“Idiot! I *told* you, we're through!”

 

“Your lips told me a different story just a few minutes ago…”

 

“Urusei! I'm done listening to you! You can't sweet talk me anymore!”

 

“Baby…”

 

“IIE!!!”

 

The youkai glance at each other. “A lover's quarrel?”

 

“We're not quarrelling, dammit!”

 

“We're not lovers anymore, dammit!”

 

“Yes we ARE dammit!”

 

“No we're NOT dammit!”

 

 

F.

 

“It's endless!” Goku cries in despair, as more purple phantoms surround them. “We need a plan, Hakkai!”

 

“Okay. My plan is… For now…”

 

“For now…?”

 

“We run away!” Hakkai declares, smiling for all his worth.

 

Goku cringes. “This is so, like, UNCOOL, dude!”

 

After a few laps around the place, Goku ventures to ask, “Er, how long are we going to keep running, Hakkai?”

 

“Umm…”

 

“Did you say, Umm?”

 

“Umm…”

 

“Umm?!?”

 

“Umm…”

 

“Dammit, Hakkai, stop it!”

 

“Well, as long as Sanzo and Gojyo are alive, I expect them to help us.”

 

Goku snorts.

 

“…Definitely help us…”

 

Goku raises scornful eyebrows.

 

“…Er… Maybe help us?” Hakkai states hopefully.

 

Goku rolls his eyes.

 

“Might be helping us,” Hakkai says desperately.

 

“Boink-boink-boink…” Goku mutters under his breath. He clasps a hand to his side where he's gotten a side-stitch from running so long. He mimics in an awful voice. “'Sanzo!' `Gojyo!' `Sanzo…' `Gojyo…'” He glares accusingly at Hakkai.

 

Hakkai sweatdrops. “A… Hehehe… okay then, I WISH with all my might for them to help us!”

 

“Now you're talking…”

 

 

G.

 

Sanzo reloads. Gojyo watches avidly. “*God*, baby, the way you handle that gun is so damn erotic,” he groans.

 

Sanzo shudders, but steels himself. “It's OVER,” he tells Gojyo firmly.

 

Crimson eyes narrow. “We'll just see about that…”

 

Sanzo ignores him and points the gun at the remaining youkai. “Just you left, huh? You wasted ten minutes of our time, when we were in the middle of something important…” Sanzo looks down his nose. “The price to pay is dear…”

 

“That's right.” Gojyo kneels down and glares at the youkai. “Another five minutes and we would have kissed and made up for sure…”

 

“Baka! I meant *looking* for the damned kid!” Sanzo snarls, cheeks pink.

 

“Sure, sure,” Gojyo grins. “*That's* what you meant…”

 

“You're so damned sure of yourself, you goddamn kappa!”

 

“Hell, I'm desperate, that's what I am!”

 

“For once you speak the truth!”

 

“At least I'm not ashamed to admit it!”

 

“Oh yes, and you're not ashamed to flirt around either, are you?!”

 

“Trust, you goddamn corrupt monk. You ever heard of the word?!”

 

“Romping. I've heard of *that* word!”

 

“Sweet GODS in Tenkai HELP me—“

 

The youkai gets bored of the drama and jumps, taking Sanzo with him.

 

Sanzo stares at Gojyo, shocked, as he and the demon fly off the cliff. “Go…jyo…”

 

“SANZOOOO!!!!”

 

 

H.

 

Goku jumps and clutches his heart.

 

“Goku?” Hakkai questions.

 

“Just now… I had this creepy feeling…”

 

“Maybe it's fleas.”

 

“No! It's about Sanzo…”

 

“What? What about him? You think he's finally shot Gojyo out of insane jealousy?”

 

“No… It's more like the feeling you get when Juliet drinks the poison, y'know? You know in that instant that Romeo is about to lose her…”

 

“Have you been surfing Olivia Hussey's website again?”

 

Goku blushes. “But Hakkai… She's a *goddess*!!! She was a goddess, anyway…”

 

The Last Boss appears. Hakkai tells Goku to step back. He takes off his limiters. When the dust settles…

 

“…That was AWESOME…” Goku breathes.

 

“Thank you, Arigatou…” Hakkai bows modestly.

 

“So why don't you just take your earrings off whenever we fight, Hakkai? Why do you waste so much energy on your puny Chi Kung Cannon? Wouldn't it all be so much simpler just to release all that power?”

 

Hakkai raises his eyebrows. “Well, why don't YOU take your diadem off, either? Huh?”

 

Goku scratches his head. “Hell if I know…”

 

“Me too.”

 

I.

 

Sanzo and Gojyo pant and gasp, trying to catch their breaths. Gojyo has just pulled Sanzo up the cliff, after Sanzo put a bullet in the idiot youkai.

 

“It's the worst time I ever had…” Gojyo wheezes, spread-eagled on the ground. “I thought I was gonna *lose* you…” he groans, flinching at the memory. “You're heavier than you look…” he adds, gasping. “Time to hit the gym, buttercup.”

 

Sanzo scowls. “Urusei! It's none of your business! I never asked you to save me, anyway,” he sulks.

 

“Oh, don't be so sensitive!” Gojyo scolds. “I love you just the way you are…”

 

Sanzo is about to retort that they're not together anymore, when he spies Gojyo's abused hands. The hands that refused to let him die. The hands that refuse to let him *go*. He shuts his eyes in despair, feeling his resolve weaken.

 

(-BLACK SCREEN- PLEASE INSERT YOUR MOST SINFUL 3x5x3x5 FANTASY HERE.) XD

 

Click! Smoke wafts across the moon. From post-lovemaking cigarettes, naturally.

 

Sanzo stands up and kicks Gojyo lightly.

 

“Ow! What's that for, buttercup?” Gojyo winces, the past twenty minutes deluding him into thinking that all is fine and dandy.

 

“Don't take so long a break!” Sanzo replies noncommittally.

 

Gojyo blinks, puzzled. His eyes widen in horror. “Are we… Are we *not* back together, then?”

 

Sanzo walks away. “Whatever gave you that idea?”

 

Gojyo howls at the moon.