Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Crappy Poem Theater ❯ Crappy Canadian Poet ( Chapter 14 )

Crappy Poem Theater

Slow zoom to a lemon shaped satellite orbiting the earth. Emblazoned on the main entrance door is a large pink Cherry Blossom flower, with feather quills crossed over it like a coat of arms. You enter the satellite to be immediately confronted by a strange recording of Masterpiece Theater Theme played on a kazoo. You step into the main room where you find….nobody….

*cricket cricket*

Cherry Blossom: Where the hell is everybody?

*cricket cricket*

…..

Duo: ::running by at high speed:: NNYYYAAaaaaaarrhhhhhhhhh….

Cherry Blossom: -_- ;; What the-

Wufei: ::also running by at high speed:: GET BACK HERE MAXWELL!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Uh…wha-

Quatre: ::running by at slightly less high speed:: We shouldn't be fighting at all!!!

Cherry Blossom: ….wtf???

Trowa: ::walking quickly after Quatre:: This I gotta see…

Cherry Blossom: WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?!!!

Heero: Hn. Duo ate Wufei's last Jersey Milk bar.

Cherry Blossom: ….that's it?

Heero: Wufei gets very emotional about his chocolate.

Trowa: He's PMSing.

Wufei: I HEARD THAT BARTON!!!

Trowa: ^__^

Duo: ::trying to unlock the door:: Lemme out!! He's gonna kill me!!

Snowgoogles: Uh…Duo?

Duo: WHAT?!

Snowgoogles: You do know that if you open that door you'll get sucked into space and die, right?

Duo: …. ::backs away from the door:: Aheheheh…Of course I knew that! What kind of an idiot do you take me for?

Heero: Do you really want us to answer that?

Duo: ::glares::

Wufei: Prepare to die Maxwell!! I require justice for my precious Jersey Milk, which was so rudely devoured by a simpering moron!

Duo: Hey! ::pouts:: I resent that!

SDDI(Society in Defense of Duo's Intelligence): We resent that too! ::try to kill Wufei::

Cherry Blossom: Oopsie! Sorry Fei. I'll just take care of that. ::zaps them away:: Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with this thing today. ::shakes finger:: I gave it a manicure and everything…

Wufei: Can we get back to the matter at hand here? He ate my Jersey Milk!! He must be punished!!

Duo: B-but it was just sitting in the fridge! It's been there for a whole week! I checked! I thought nobody was going to eat it and I didn't want to waste such sweet chocolate…

Wufei: I was saving it!! ::glaring::

Duo: Well I….I needed it! I'm diabetic!

Wufei: …really?

Duo: I don't lie.

Wufei: Well then…I guess it's alright. But you owe me a Jersery Milk, Maxwell.

Duo: Right. I'll get right on that.

Cherry Blossom: Well…now that that's settled…let's read some mail!

Quatre: ::whispering:: Are you really diabetic, Duo?

Duo: ::also whispering:: Sure I am! That's the disease where you need to eat chocolate all the time, right?

Quatre: Uh…not as such, no…

Duo: Oh. Well, don't tell Wufei that, 'kaycc?

Quatre: ::sweatdrop::

Reviewer's Corner

Matteo: ::carries in the Hot 'O Reviews:: Who wants to pick out the letters?

Duo: Ooh! Me! Me! I want to do it! ::shoves his hand into the hat and after much shuffling, brings out a letter:: Here's the first one.

Matteo: Wodenschild writes,

I just finished reading your Crappy Poem Theater it is truely a funny fic. Have you thought about doing Syliva Plath?

Cherry Blossom: You mean Ms. death, death, depression, suicide, and yet more death? She's like, the spokesperson for teen angst everywhere!

She's really bad. Of course now that I'm looking them over they might be too much for the poor boys. *Sigh* Anyway I would like to give everyone presents for your anniversery. Cherry, here is a bouquet of caranations, Trieze isn't the only one who gives flowers!-_^

Cherry Blossom: Oh wow! Thanks so much! I'll have to put them in water right away.

For Trowa a clone of my cat Sylive, he's very aggressive and will kept the Darling from being attacked by hamster Trieze.

Jezebel: ::sniffs cat:: Mmrow?

Cherry Blossom: Hey! You guys stop that right now! I don't want a pregnant guardcat running around!

Jezebel: ::looks guilty::

Quatre get's a clone of my other cat Ziggy to help make it through the next poem. (Besides Sylive would be lonely up there by himself!)

Jezebel: Rrrr…

Duo: Catfight!

Trowa: ::rolls eyes::

Duo gets bubbles! Hmmm what else? Oh yeah, roses for Heero and a book on medition for Wufei, cherry flavored Lundens and water with a lemon twist for Matteo, a mace for Dilly,

Dilly: ::brandishes mace:: BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNN YOU POTENTIAL MUGGERS!!! I'M FROM NEW YORK!!!!!

Quatre: Um…I don't think that's what Wodenschild meant…

lilies for Snowgoggles I'll send them up so she doesn't have to get them!

Snowgoggle: Thank you! ^__^ I love lilies.

Did I get everyone? Oh! And a big hug of appreciation for the disclaimer guy. He never gets anything! Bye now. *Waves* Luv ya all!

Quatre: Bye! ^__^ Come again!

Wufei: Don't encourage them.

Matteo: Next review is from The Narrator,

Cherry Blossom-sama:

I have only recently discovered this forum of creative writing, which is why I have not submitted a review earlier.

Cherry Blossom: We forgive you.

Heero: I don't.

I have read with great amusement your delightful program and am filled with regret that you have not updated it lately (please do not tell me that you have given up on it).

Cherry Blossom: Never! There shall always be CPT! Just as there shall always be crappy poetry by deranged and misguided men-

Trowa: And women.

Cherry Blossom: ::glares:: And women. But not as much : P

Duo: Hey Cherry, I've heard that FF.net is outlawing MSTies of any kind. Whatcha gonna do then?

Quatre: ::gasp:: No more CPT?

Other G-Boyz: ::look hopeful::

Cherry Blossom: Well, I guess I'll just have to post these somewhere else. COTAC or something. Don't worry. I won't let them obliterate my precious CPTs!

G_Boyz: ::groan::

Heero: Well it was nice to dream…

The poems are certainly painful reading for anyone who has not had constant exposure to such literature (and built up an immunity to it, as I have); thus the appeal for it as a mode of torture for the brave (and yet tragically unread) Gundam pilots. I extend heartfelt condolences, gentlemen, but a brave man laughs in the face of Death and an intelligent man makes fun of him.

To Dilandau-sama: My little sister sends her... *is knocked over by her little sister, Kanashimi*

Kanashimi: Dilly-baby! *glomps Dilly*

Dilly: ::holds out mace:: BACK DEMON SPAWN!!!

The Narrator: Oh my. I apologize about that, Cherry Blossom, I'll just... *tries to part Kanashimi and Dilandau, who is turning blue*

Kanashimi: *growls and deathglares*

Heero: I wish everyone would stop stealing my trademark…

The Narrator: Hm, I guess I'll leave this matter up to you, Cherry Blossom...do please be careful, she bites.

Dilly: OW!!

Trowa: Thanks, we just figured that out.

And Heero, Duo, if you're still in the room, please hide. Kanashimi will pursue you with her own ardent affection once Cherry Blossom-sama manages to pry her away from Dilandau.

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Oookay, let's just zap you out of here ::puts the little sister back where she belongs::

Dilly: X.x

Duo: He doesn't look so good. Maybe you should send him to the rubber room for a bit, to recuperate.

Cherry Blossom: Right. ::zaps Dilly to his room:: Let's get on with it.

Matteo: Next is Northstar (too lazy to sign in),

Trowa: That happens to a lot of people these days.

::gasps::By the goddess, Cherry! You are soooo evil! :::grins nastily::: Can you believe I just finished reading all twelve episodes back-to-back? Keep up the good work (torturing the g-boys I mean) because if you do, I can write fanfics about their therapy sessions! ::grins at the happy thought::

Quatre: ::nervously:: We're in therapy?

Dilly: ::from the rubber room:: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRNNNNN!!!!!!

Trowa: …We'd better be.

Hey, that's the first funny idea my muse has given me! ::reaches over and drags in a bound-and-gagged Haldir::I er...borrowed the services of Haldir here, because he's an elf from Lothorien and they do really good songs...::muffled curses from Haldir:: Well, keep up the good work, and I am sure I have a few crappy poems for you to torture the boys with. Congrats on the anniversary, I wish I had been able to bring presents.

Duo: ::looks sad:: Yeah, me too.

If it's any consolation, Gundams, I pity you. Try listening to a elf from Middle Earth go on about the follies of humans...::coughs::Well, I've got to go. Ja ne!

P.S. Cherry, YOU RULE! Can I send Dilly my Advanced Composition essays? I reealllly want to get rid of them in the most spectacular way possible. ::holds out essays, and a huge bar-b-cue lighter::I'm sure Dilly can have a lot of fun with them!

Cherry Blossom: I'll give them to him once he's calmed down a bit, kay? Next!

Matteo: Lady Lye writes,

I would write a poem for my reveiw... but I'm not in a poem-ish mood right now and it would be BEYOND crappy. (Yes, there is such a thing. O.o SCARY...) As always AWESOME~~~~~! Dillykins, here ya go- my entire American Studies Compendium project- say it with me! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN!

Dilly: ::from the room:: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNN!!!

Wufei: Yes we know.

^__^ Thanks, Dil. Fei, you actually lower yourself to watching crap like 'Reality TV'?!?

Wufei: ::offended:: How dare you criticize my method of entertainment, onna!

Cherry Blossom: I often watch Survivor. I'm in the office pool on who will get kicked off next. Free Starbucks coffee if you win!! Can't argue with that, eh?

*rae* Let me guess- it was the rum cake? :P I'm disappointed in you, Fei-babe!!

Jezzie, sic 'im!

Jezebel: ::just lays there::

Duo: You are sooooo lazy, cat.

Jezebel: *yawn*

:P You need serious rehab, Fei. (*suddenly wonders why she's bashing Fei so much...*) *cough* Those poems were just BIZARRE. They're raised the standard on what constitutes as crappy. *nod nod* Du-chan, since I embarrassed you before- you've now got a 'One Word Free' coupon to combat Fei's unjust 'not one word!!' hang up.

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

:P It's not a good day for you, Fei, get over it. My luv to all of your trapped on the satellite!! I'll see you again soon! You can count on it!!

Trowa: ::blandly:: The horror, the horror.

Matteo: Crystal Dream writes,

*hyperventilates* CHERRY-SAMA! I love you! I LOVE YOUUUUU!

Wufei: Breathe onna! This fanfic does not need a lawsuit from the parents of dead fangirls!

You brought WeiB Kreuz in! WEIB! WEIB! I love YOU! Best yet, you brought Farfarello aka Farfie in! I LOVE YOU CHERRY-SAMAAA! *giggles* Aya is cool too. "Takatori...shin-NE!" *sniffles* Where was Yohji? *looks around* Yohji? YOHJI?!

Trowa: Not enough girls on the satellite for Yohji.

Cherry Blossom: Excuse me? No girls? Just what would you call me?

Trowa: Uh…..::thinking quickly:: a Goddess?

Duo: ::gives him five:: Nice save man!

Cherry Blossom: Hmph.

And...and...Brad Crawford? You just can't do anything fun with Braddy!

Cherry Blossom: Oh I don't know about that….

~ in another dimension, at the movies…~

Nagi: *whispering* Schu! Stop eating all my popcorn!!

Schuldich: You've got more than enough to share. Besides, Farf put a bunch of knives in my popcorn and now I'm afraid to eat it.

Farfarello: Watching Citizen Kane makes God cry. ::eats some popcorn covered knives::

Crawford: Rosebud is his sled. ::people throw popcorn at him::

Schuldich: Well thanks for ruining the ending for everyone Brad!

Crawford: ::shrugs::

Farfarello: God hurts.

~ back at the SOCB ~

Everybody: O.o o.O -.-;;

Cherry Blossom: Okay, maybe not.

*looks at Gundam Boys* Um...hey guys...don't be jealous...um...Canada rocks? *whimpers* I found a crossover! It had the G-boys, the guys from Yami no Matsuei, and the WeiB guys. *drools* ...um...I love you, Trowa. :)

Trowa: I'm too sexy for this satellite. Can I leave?

Everybody: NO.

Trowa: It was worth a try.

Cherry Blossom: Next letter!

Mattteo: Redhawk writes,

Funny, of course, but you hear that all the time. this review is really to tell you that Nanashi No More is out for your blood because of the...eh... pedophile remark you made about her in episode 3:

Cherry Blossom: ::blank stare:: …..huh?

Duo: Flashback sequence!!

~ flashback episode 3 ~

Matteo: *trying to cover his ears* Nanashi No More wrote,

My god, that's the worst poem in history. WHO WROTE THAT???? Poor G-Boys... Oh well, lol, really funny!

Trowa: I believe the child molester wrote the last one.

Cherry Blossom: That's Theophile not pedophile.

Wufei: Same difference.

~ end flashback ~

yes... well... hide *shrugs*

Cherry Blossom: Oh that? I believe that Trowa was answering Nanashi No More's question, WHO WROTE THAT????, not commenting on the reviewer herself. And episode two's poet was Theophile, hence the running pedophile gag.

Wufei: Do onnas not have the ability to read correctly??

Cherry Blossom: ::glares::

Duo: Oooh, treading on thin ice there Wu. Retreat, retreat!

Wufei: Uh…I mean, next time please pay more attention to the context.

Duo: Nice save! ::offers hand for high five::

Wufei: Get your hand out of my face or you will lose it.

Duo: Sheesh, touch-y! I think you really are PMSing.

Cherry Blossom: Well now that that's over with, next review please!

Matteo: Bekquai writes,

I never knew Heero was a fan of transvestite stand-up comedians.

Heero: Executive transvestite.

Duo: What the heck are you talking about?

Heero: ::points to Duo:: Weirdo transvestite.

Duo: Heeey! Up yours Yuy!

Cherry Blossom: Now now, play nicely boys.

Eddie Izzard rules! ^_^ I am a Hamburger, a Frankfurter, and a doughnut! Anywho, I love this series. It is neato-keeno and special. I must have more! ^_^ Ja ne!

Duo: What the hell is this girl going on about?

Heero: John F. Kennedy. Played by Sean Connery.

Duo: ????

Heero: Heh heh heh…

Trowa: Stop freaking Duo out, Yuy.

Heero: ::smirks:: But it's soooo much fun.

Duo: Hello pod person. Where have you hidden the body of Heero Yuy?

Cherry Blossom: Last review and then…..POEMS!!!!

Duo: ::looks back at Heero:: And can you kill me and take over my body too?

Heero: Sorry.

Duo: Damn.

Matteo: Edward writes,

;_; I like the Raven. It's AWESOME! ;_;

Duo: Yeah! *sniff* I tear up just thinking about it *sniff*

Heero: Baka.

Wolf_Goddess : ....

Trowa: Quit stealing my lines.

Quatre: ::pointed look::

Trowa: ….it's a line. Really.

Akito : I wanna go home already so we can finish that stupid new fic and be done with it!!

Edward : Shuttup! Show respect in the face of Cherry-sama!! Inconsiderate bakana baka!!!! -_-;;

Duo: ::cringes:: Uh oh.

Matteo: Muse abuse!! Muse abuse!! I'm calling the MPA on you.

Heero: The what?

Matteo: MPA. Muse Protection Agency.

Cherry Blossom: Teo-chan…we're on a satellite. There's no phones here.

Matteo: ….nuts.

Akito : ;_; sorry *runs off bawling*

Wolf_Goddess : Calm down Ed. I have problems with Sokoyo, but I don't verbally abuse her. O-.

Ed: Huh? What? ...Anyway...TERRIFIC FIC!!!! ^_____________^ Edward enjoyed it very much! Yesh!

Akito : *timidly approaches* I...uh...liked it as well.

Wolf_Goddess : And me also.

Trowa: I'm glad somebody enjoyed themselves.

Quatre: ::pointed look::

Trowa: No really!! I'm glad!! No sarcasm this time.

Duo: Suuure.

Edward : But my review wasn't there ;_; O well. *hands everyone Flower Kiss candy and bite size pocky sticks sneaks Duo sake o-.*

Wolf_Goddess : Hey!!! Duo : *guzzles it*

Wolf_Goddess : NO! *runs off screaming*

Duo: *hic* What? ::giggles:: Mmmm…I like this drink!!

Cherry Blossom: ::sigh:: How come one of us always ends up getting drunk at the beginning of the episode? And it's never ME!

Quatre: I've never gotten drunk.

Trowa: Beg to differ.

Quatre: I've never!!

Trowa: New Year's Eve episode.

Quatre: …..it wasn't my fault. Duo spiked the punch.

Duo: SPIKE!! HehEHheheHE*hic*heHEHehehEHeheHee!!

Heero: ::presses a hand to his temple:: Why me…

Edward : Er... bai bai Cherry-sama, Teo-chan, Duo-kun *blows kiss*

Duo :OoOoOohHhh...kIsSes...

Edward : o_. Er...

*BTW Wolf_Goddess is my friend and a fan of CPT also. She has a registered account on FF.net but it'd be easier to review together so here's her segment.

Wufei: What is this, a talk show?

Trowa: Cherry Jessie Rafael?

Quatre: More like Cherry Springer.

Cherry Blossom: O.o Quatre!!?

Quatre: ::shrugs::

Wolf_Goddess: Hey!!! Oh well * blows Duo kisses also* Duo is KAWAII!!!!!

Duo: * blushes* MoRe KiSsEs.....*hic*

Edward: MY DUO-KUN!! *leaps at Duo and holds him over protectively just like She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named holds Heero*

Duo : YaAAaAAAAAaaaAaAay! GiRRRliEss LIIkkee MmEeEe!!! ^____^

Wolf_Goddess: * finds vino* What is this? *drinks vino* Oh BuTtErFlIes....*hic*.... WaIt FoR mE!!!!! PrEtTy!!!

Cherry Blossom: That's it. I'm signing everybody up for AA classes.

Heero: Hi, my name's Heero and I'm a sexaholic.

Duo: ::spits out the mouthful of sake he's drinking:: Pffft!

Heero: ::deadpan:: What?

Duo: I must be reaaaaally drunk.

Quatre: Nope. I heard it too.

Duo: Do you think he's really drunk?

Heero: Stop talking about me like I'm not here.

Duo: Stop being so OOC then.

Cherry Blossom: ::sigh:: Let's just get to the poems.

Snowgoogles: We got CRAP-SIGN!!!!

Duo: ::begins to freak out and run amuck as the theater doors open to reveal…::

::door sequence::A normal looking door with no handle. Heero kicks it down and you walk through to see… A small yappy-type dog, named Caesar for some reason. Quatre plays with the dog until you drag him away to come to… A log dam. You smash through it and a bunch of beavers attack you. You fight them off and run away without watching where you are going and slam into… A big steel door. You curse at it until it falls over to reveal…

1) A tapestry displaying a scene of all five gundams standing beside their respective pilots under the full moon. You pull it aside and enter…

The Theater

Crappy Poem Theater (this time it's personal)

Cherry Blossom: You still haven't changed the title phrase?

Matteo: Oops. Knew I forgot something.

Duo: I like it.

Heero: You would.

Duo: Beeedah!

Cherry Blossom: Disclaimer first!

Disclaimer: J J J I got a hug!!! J J J

Cherry Blossom: -_-;; Look, I don't own GW. Let's just get on with it.

Wufei: Enthusiasm!!!

Everybody: O.o;;;

Duo: The pod people have Wufei too!! Lucky bastard!!

Cherry Blossom: You shall be happy to know that today's poet is….CANADIAN!!!!

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: BwAHWahAwaHwAhawAHWwhahwa!!! Yessssss, we haven't had a good old plug for my native land for a while now.

Wufei: This is a plug? I doubt anyone will want to come to the frozen north after you plague them with the region's worst poetry.

Cherry Blossom: ::glares at Wufei:: Oh Jezebel…

Jezebel: ::growls::

Wufei: Eh heh heh…nevermind. Plug away!

Cherry Blossom: ^__^ Let's start Teo-chan.

Matteo: Ahem…

If It Were Spring

Duo: But it is spring.

Trowa: Almost summer actually.

Wufei: Who cares?

By Leonard Cohen

Duo: Didn't he write songs or something?

Heero: ::shrugs::

If it were Spring

Trowa: Yes, we all read the title.

and I killed a man,

Everybody: O.o o.O O.O wha…?

I would change him to leaves

and hang him from a tree,

Heero: That's not practical. You should get rid of the body by burning it or burial so you are not discovered.

Duo: Or you could blow it up! ^__^

Quatre: Remember to apologize first.

Wufei: Spear them with a katana!

Trowa: ///_- …I don't know any of them. Really.

a tree in a grove

at the edge of a dune,

where small beasts came

to flee the sun.

Duo: And eat the rotting hanging man.

Quatre: Ewwwwwwww!

Cherry Blossom: Duo…

Duo: What?

Wind would make him

part of song,

and rain would cling

like tiny crystal worldsWufei: This poem wouldn't be so bad…

Trowa: If it weren't for the fact that the guy's taking about killing somebody and hanging them in a tree.

Wufei: Exactly.

upon his branch

of leaf green skies,

and he would bear the dance

of fragile bone,

Duo: Pfft. The Fragile Bone Dance? That won't get you laid in a club.

Everybody: ::stares at Duo::

Duo: …..not that I know from experience or anything.

brush of wings

against his maps of arteries,

and turn up a yellow-stomached flag

to herald the touring storm.

O my victim,

you would grow your season

as I grew mine,

under the spell of growth,Duo: ….with growing things that grow with growth and in growing they may grow-

Heero: Shut. Up.

Wufei: Does anyone else think that this guy's on crack?

an instrument

Quatre: ::perks up:: Violin? Piano? I can play them all! Oooh, Trowa, maybe we'll get the chance to do another duet!!

Trowa: ….

of the blue sky,

an instrument of the sun,

a palm above the dark, splendid eyes.

What language the city will hear

because of your death,

Wufei: Language like "HOLY #$#%# THERE'S A #$^#$%# DEAD BODY IN THE TREE!!"

anguish explain,

sorrow relieve.

Everywhere I see

the world waiting you,

the pens raised, walls prepared,

hands hung above strings and keys.

Trowa: Because once again, time has stopped.

Duo: Heero must have made a complete sentence or something.

Heero: ::glares:: Hn.

And come Autumn

I will spin a net

between your height and earth

to hold your crisp parts.

Quatre: Uh…what parts are those?

Cherry Blossom: I don't think we want to know.

In the fields and orchards

it must be turning Spring,

look at the faces

clustered around mine.

Trowa: Sneezing, eyes watering, face red with hay fever…yep, must be Spring.

And I hear

the irrefutable argument of hunger

whispered, spoken, shouted,

but never sung.

Heero: Good. No singing.

Cherry Blossom: We could sing something about Cana-

G-Boyz: NO!!

Cherry Blossom: Sheesh, ya don't have to bite my head off.

I will kill a man this week;

before this week is gone

I will hang him to a tree,

I will see this mercy done.Duo: Er…okaaay…

Cherry Blossom: Drug induced much?

Heero: ::sings:: If you've never seen an elephant ski then you've never been on acid.

Everybody: O.o

Duo: What did I tell you? Pod people.

Cherry Blossom: Next poem please! Also by Leonard Cohen.

Quatre: There's more?

Dead Song

Wufei: Please don't let Maxwell sing. As much as I'd like to rejoin my Nataku…I want to go honorably in battle.

Duo: ::offended:: Heeeeeey!

As I lay dead

In my love-soaked bed,

Quatre: ::looks green:: Your what soaked bed?

Cherry Blossom: ::hums the chorus to "Liquid Dreams"::

Wufei: Don't people write poetry about trees and nature anymore?

Duo: Sure they do! Remember the Pretty Pink Flower poem?

Heero: ::pales:: P-pretty….p-pink….PINK!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Duo: Oops.

Quatre: Duo! You know he's sensitive about…that colour.

Duo: Sorry.

Angels came to kiss my head.

Duo: ::leers:: Which head? *thwhap* ITAI!

Cherry Blossom: NO BAKA HENTAI!!!

Wufei: ::crumples up the one word coupon:: That takes care of that.

I caught own gown

And wrestled her down

Duo: It's the Undertaker vs. The Rock in this heated match!! Which one will win?

Wufei: I can't believe you watch that crap.

Duo: Says the man who watches Survivor.

To be my girl in death town.

She will not fly.

She has promised to die.

What a clever corpse am I !

Trowa: Smart but dead.

Quatre: Does that mean this poem was written by a ghost?

Duo: ::wiggles fingers in a ghostly way:: OooOooOOoooh! CrApPiNeSs fRoM bEyOnD tHe GrAvE!!!

Heero: Cut that out baka.

Cherry Blossom: That was short. Better throw in one more poem for good measure.

G-Boyz: ::groan::

Cherry Blossom: I think this one is the worst yet. ^__^

Inquiry into the Nature of Cruelty

Trowa: University thesis?

Cherry Blossom: Not even close.

Wufei: Well the title sounds intelligent at least. It can't be that bad.

Duo: Wanna bet?

A moth drowned in my urine,

Quatre: …..excuse me?

Trowa: //.o ….well. That was unexpected.

Heero: Interesting opening line.

Wufei: ::looks sick:: You have a keen affinity for stating the obvious Yuy.

Heero: Hn.

Duo: Someone wrote a poem about THIS?

Cherry Blossom: Apparently.

his powered body finally satin.

My eyes gleamed in the porcelain

like tiny dancing crematoria.

Quatre: Crematoria don't dance.

Heero: ::sings:: If you've never seen crematoria dance then you've never been on acid.

Duo: …..that's it. Yuy's officially lost his mind. The poems have finally done him in.

Wufei: And all it took was a pee-covered insect.

Trowa: Could we please avoid that topic?

Cherry Blossom: Why? We're still in the poem.

Trowa: I was trying to forget about that.

History is on my side, I pleaded,

as the drain drew circles in his wings.

Duo: Why the hell is this guy talking to a moth he just peed on???

Cherry Blossom: You're asking ME?

Wufei: You're the Canadian.

Cherry Blossom: I've never peed on a moth, I promise.

Quatre: ::trying not to be sick::

(Had he not been bathed in urine

I'd have rescued him to dry in the wind.)

Duo: Well whoopty-frikken-doo!! What does this guy want, a medal? Sheesh.

Heero: What was the point of that poem?

Wufei: ::covers his mouth with his hand:: To make us all throw up. If you'll excuse me, I must use the lavatories.

Trowa: Watch out for moths.

Wufei: ::glares:: Shut up Barton.

Trowa: ///_^

Duo: Guy must have had pretty good aim, getting a moth in one shot…

Quatre: ::now REALLY green:: Duo!! ::follows Wufei to the restroom to barf::

Duo: What? What'd I say?

Heero: ::shakes head:: Baka.

::doors open::

Duo: ::runs for them like a bat out of hell:: THE MOTHS ARE ATTACKING!!!!

Heero: It's times like this I wish I had succeeded in self-destruction.

Cherry Blossom: I need a stiff drink. Let's raid the wine cellar.

Trowa: We have a wine cellar?

Cherry Blossom: Trieze-sama sends me a bottle every so often. I stash them away for moments like this.

Duo: WiNe FrOM BeYoNd ThE gRaVe?

Cherry Blossom: Just for that, you're not getting any.

Duo: Smeg.

~ SCOB ~

Snowgoggles: Welcome back! Where's Quatre and Wufei?

Duo: They had to go review outputs.

Snowgoggles: ……

Duo: Do the technicolor yawn?

Snowgoggles: ……

Duo: They had to spew.

Snowgoggles: Oh. Was it really that bad?

Wufei: ::appears looking pale and unhappy:: Worse.

Quatre: ::follows after, holding a wet rag to his forehead:: I think I need to lie down. Hey…do you guys smell something burning?

Cherry Blossom: ::frowns:: *sniff* *sniff* …….DILLY!!!

Heero: Uh oh.

Dilly: ::frying the control panel with a flame thrower:: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNN!!!!!!!! YES LOVELY!!!!!!

Duo: How did he get out of the rubber room?

Cherry Blossom: Farfie must have slipped him a knife the last time he was here. We've got to get him away from the controls!! Heero, you tackle him!!

Heero: Why me?

Cherry Blossom: ::glares::

Heero: Fine. Be ready to grab the flamethrower as soon as I've got him on the ground.

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRR-urk! ::is tackled to the ground by Heero::

Duo: Quickly!

Trowa: ::grabs the flamethrower::

Dilly: No more burn? ::pouts::

Cherry Blossom: Bad Dilly! No biscuit!

Snowgoogles: Uh Cherry?

Cherry Blossom: Yeeeeeees?

Snowgoogles: We have a slight problem here.

Cherry Blossom: What?

Snowgoogles: There's a comet heading right for us. And the controls are melted.

Cherry Blossom: …..smeg.

Matteo: We're all gonna die!!!

Duo: ::runs amuck, panicking:: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Heero: Hn. Baka.

To Be Continued….