Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ How to Write a Fanfic Review, GW Style ❯ Yaoi 101 ( Chapter 4 )

Yaoi 101 (A Wufei Side Story) v. 1.3

Guest Starring the One and Only (and very much alive)

Treize Khushrenada.

===

It had been a couple days since that late dinner arrival, and since then, Duo was bizarrely punctual. Heero and Wufei both came to the less than naïve conclusion that this was because Duo was finding less creative ways to get around telling the truth of wherever he was going or whatever he was doing. Of course, both boys had entirely different deductions… Heero thought it was because he was someone honestly related to this new correspondence he had discovered. Wufei thought it was just because he was trying to get on his nerves.

But later… Wufei sincerely regretted ever asking.

Wufei was asked to help. Or for his assistance, as it were. The notion of Duo writing smut was still swirling heavily in his mind, and he could still hardly believe it. Honestly, he knew Duo was perverted, but enough to put it onto page? And butcher the language as he did so… But that was only half the problem. It was yaoi smut. He had only seen him in the net café in passing, and the boy had been far too engrossed in whatever he had been typing to even notice Wufei's approach. And as honorable a boy as he was, he wasn't about to read over his shoulder. But it's hard to ignore the phrase, "And with no further ado, the boy went down on his best friend, easily and eagerly taking the hard pulsing length into his throat."

It could've been Wufei's imagination, or the rapid circulation in his veins, causing most of his blood to run away from his brain… but when Duo finally did realize he was there, that braid skittled up to the ceiling like the hairs on the back of a startled cat. Trying to remain indifferent, the Chinese boy shook his head at the American boy. They exchanged several words, and although his more logical side did not want to accept that this … composition… was for a creative writing assignment, Wufei did not pursue the investigation. For one, he was not in Duo's class. For two, Duo's teacher was a female, and frankly… you give the people what they want.

'Baka onna.' He didn't even know the woman, but her assignment was now plaguing him in a similar fashion. It wasn't even his work, but he couldn't let Duo's injustice to the English language continue. Just because it's creative writing, or even recreational, it doesn't excuse poorly written work. Honestly. Authors think they can get away with anything these days. Just like those hippie artists who tried to pass off a pap smear as gallery worthy.

Wufei felt obliged to help the boy. Of course, this had nothing to do with the fact that the American was naturally manipulative, and pointedly said that Wufei couldn't do it. It was an indirect challenge, and warriors do not walk away from a challenge.

However, Wufei was not… well-versed in the mechanics of same sex relations. He'd been married, yes, but to a woman. He knew about how men and women worked, since it was pretty cut and dry. Well, hopefully not too dry.

Although he'd heard a lot of male-male sex going on under his own roof, it's not like he ever hung around to watch-contrary to Duo's crass commentary and beliefs… Growling, Wufei pushed his way into the counseling department, to get some answers. Signing his name on the check-in form, he took a seat. There were pamphlets everywhere about everything. Perhaps he wouldn't have to speak to the teacher after all.

Glancing around to make sure no one was looking--and luckily, no one was--he picked up a pamphlet discreetly and flipped through it for some answers. Wufei had strategically picked the slowest time of day for the counseling office, which was a difficult task, for this new counselor was apparently all the rage. Wufei had never actually seen him, but he had to have been knowledgeable in order to get such attention.

Or, he could've been devilishly handsome.

It seemed that the universe pointed to the latter. A tall ginger-haired man appeared to loom over him; Wufei didn't even see him coming. Impressive. Then again, he was caught red handed with, "So You Think You're a Homosexual…"

Swallowing down his blush, he crumpled the pamphlet into his pocket and followed the man into his office. Now, Wufei was pretty sure he wasn't gay. But then again, he wasn't all that straight either. Hell, he hadn't really… ventured into that area in well over a couple years. It would hardly be diplomatic to choose one sex over the other when you haven't had sex with either, he reasoned. A warrior didn't need pleasures of the flesh, regardless.

Taking a cushy seat across from the man's desk, Wufei folded his arms across his chest. He had this entire conversation worked out in his head beforehand. The counselor… Mr. Khushrenada (whatta mouthful) would ask how he was, what's the problem. Wufei would state his problem immediately, concisely, and receive the answer in return.

"Chang Wufei… correct?" The man said as he sat down behind his desk, leaning back leisurely into his office chair. "Comfortable?" He received a curt nod. Treize allowed himself to stretch his legs out under his desk. This boy had never come to a counseling session in his history of being in this establishment, or so Treize noticed after briefly glancing at his file before coming to get him. The secretary had buzzed him, and he was thankful it wasn't another cheeky girl trying to give him cheap up the skirt shots. One girl outright said that she would feel more comfortable if she could sit in his lap.

There was an overbearing silence. Wufei's leg jerked up and down on the floor, his brow creased nearly in a glare at Treize. The elder simply raised an eyebrow, and loosely threaded his fingers together over his abdomen.

Tick. Tock.

"Well?" Came out harshly on Wufei's part. He had this planned, and Treize wasn't following 'the plan'. This wasn't the easiest thing to do, but it was a helluva lot better than asking Quatre and Trowa. If he was going to advise Duo, Wufei wanted to be well-versed. And the school's library hadn't helped, and the internet only provided a lot of pornography. Wufei would never admit his… positively-north-pointing reactions to such media, but it wasn't descript enough. Two sweaty men, if not more, just banging away at different orifices was the general idea, even Wufei could've figured that much out. But there had to have been more involved… right?

Treize's arms reached back behind his head as he stretched and yawned, quickly remembering to cover his mouth. "Well what?" He tried not to chuckle when the boy actually growled at him. It was one of those moments he wanted to reach over and scratch Wufei behind the ears or something. These ones were the cutest. Tough on the outside, soft and gooey inside.

"Well what?! Aren't you going to ask me what's wrong?!" Wufei nearly exploded, throwing a hand up into the air. The action allowed a single lock of hair to come undone from his blown gasket. Huffing, he pulled it behind his ear and folded his arms again to continue glaring at the man.

"I assumed you came here to tell me, since that's what people come here for," Treize shrugged nonchalantly, and leaned forward to fold his arms on the desk. He met Wufei's glare with an indifferent stare. "Or you could just be here to get out of class."

"What dishonorable cur would do that?" the Chinese boy sputtered.

"… you'd be surprised," Treize moved back into his chair, and swiveled to show the boy his… rather delicious profile. "There are students who come to the counselors office to get out of class, get out of assignments… they want us to tell them that they're not okay to do work…" Treize gestured flippantly with one hand," …and then they want us to tell their teachers to excuse them because they didn't want to do the work…"

"…that's ridiculous."

"So am I to assume that you have a real problem to discuss?" Treize brought his coffee mug up to his lips, carefully sipping. "A question perhaps?" He hadn't missed that pamphlet. They printed them neon pink for a reason. They were easy to spot from down the hallway, let alone within a few feet. So this was one of those. It was another fairly common 'ailment' so to speak… Teenagers who weren't sure which side of the line they stood on. Treize, himself, had gone through such a phase. Of course, none of this had any influence on his work or his job. But this boy sure was cute… not to mention how cute he was when he was wound up tighter than a metal spring.

Wufei did have a question. However, it wasn't the first question out of his mouth. "How do you get your eyebrows like that?" He was rewarded with Treize sputtering coffee over his hand and droplets flying into his lap. That's what he got for wasting a warrior's precious time with dribble. The man went about patting away the spots with some Kleenex that were behind the desk.

The boy was cute, indeed.

"Surely you weren't waiting out there to ask me that…" Chuckling softly under his breath, he did the best he could do about his spilled coffee, and thought better of picking the mug back up again. This boy was going to antagonize… Boys like Wufei came in, having a problem, but rather than admitting as such, they wanted it dragged out of them. But where would the fun in that be?

"No. I have questions."

"About?" There was a long pause.

"… my friend has this problem." Oh of course. Right... The 'Friend.' "Well, he's writing this assignment…" An 'assignment.' There was another pause, and Treize gestured the boy to continue, trying not to smirk at his mental notations.

Dammit, it wasn't this hard when he practiced.

"He is writing about sex." There was a brief pause, but Wufei filled the silence by quickly adding, "Not that I don't know about it or anything…" No of course not. "But I am only really acquainted with sex between a man and a woman…" He cleared his throat sharply. "My friend has chosen to write about sex between two men."

Treize mentally shook his head with a hidden smile. The 'friend' with a 'problem.' This was a typical scenario. Textbook even. Externalize the problem to make oneself more comfortable with speaking. Fine, fine, Treize will play along.

"So your friend… doesn't know about sex between men." There was a pause, as if Treize's presumption was incorrect.

"He knows in a way, however…" Wufei tried to coin the phrase to the best of his ability. This was not in the script, dammit. Baka onna. Baka Duo. Baka counselor. "I do not believe he is well-versed enough to properly express these ideas on paper."

"And he came to you for help…?" Treize finished for him, receiving a nod. "And you didn't know either?"

"I knew to the same extent that he knew, yes." Wufei was suddenly feeling oddly uncomfortable, and his tank top seemed to have a hidden heating pad in the lining. He tried not to show it, but Treize didn't miss a beat.

"Did you want to lie down on the couch?" He gestured to the couch along the wall, and Wufei shook his head. Instead, he brought his legs up in a meditative position on the chair he was currently sitting in. Treize blinked. None of the other students willingly turned themselves into a pretzel to make themselves more… comfortable. Fascinating. Flexible. "More comfortable now?..." the boy nodded. "Please, continue."

"There is nothing more to say. I came for counsel. You are a counselor. Hence, logically, I came here," Wufei said bluntly, to the point of condescendence. Treize stroked his chin a bit, and stood up from his desk. Walking around it, he leaned back on the front of it. He was far away enough not to invade Wufei's personal space, however, close enough to speak softly as not to intimidate the boy. Often in sessions like this, the teen would clam up and bolt, starting again from square one.

"Well… what do you know now?" It seemed like a stupid question, but Treize didn't want to risk unnecessarily embarrassing the boy with details he might've already been aware of. Another thing about sessions like this is that they could… fundamentally decide the sexuality of a girl or boy for the rest of their time on earth. It was a fragile situation, regardless of how strong the boy posed to look. And it helped that he was cute. Wufei shifted again in his seat, and stared at the floor as if collecting his thoughts.

Treize had failed to notice that, leaning where he was, his crotch was conveniently at Wufei's eye level… (or did he?) The boy, of course, noticed and he had fought to keep his line of sight directed upwards at Treize's face. He used the man's odd eyebrows as a focal point as long as he could, but soon determined that the carpet was infinitely safer to stare at. Wufei had the tiniest ghost of regret that he always kept his hair pulled back. Had it been loose, he might have been able to sneak a sideways glance at the peak of said man's thighs. Of course, such an urge was a perfectly normal locker room reaction. Wufei pointedly ignored the fact that this wasn't a locker room and neither of them was naked.

He became aware that the silence was, once again, growing awkward and Wufei sternly reminded himself that the counselor was waiting for him to get his mouth open and his tongue working. The previous mental order didn't form quite as he had meant it and Wufei hurried to gather his wits and begin talking before his mind fell any further into the gutter.

"I live with four other boys…" Huh. Really. They as cute as you? "Two of them are currently… involved. I only know what I hear through the walls." The boy nearly grimaced in memory. He'd recognize Quatre's soprano from a mile away. "And of course I am familiar with my own anatomy, presumably the same of that of another of the same gender." Wufei swallowed hard, his mouth and throat suddenly dry. He understood the counselor's gesture of informality by approaching, but frankly, it was making it harder to concentrate. He was man enough, secure enough, to say that this man was attractive. Understandably drawing attention. Wufei almost felt a pang of jealousy, if he didn't douse it with the awkwardness of his situation.

"So basically… not much," Wufei nodded solemnly. "It's not that technical, you know…" Treize saw this was the wrong avenue to go, as Wufei immediately looked like his intelligence was being challenged. "You've probably been taught, like many others, that same sex relationships aren't… natural." The words tasted bad in his mouth, mostly because they were true. Why parents set their kids up like this, he couldn't really say. "But, honestly, making love with a member of the same sex isn't much more complicated… there are just certain preparations you - your friend should consider."

Wufei slowly digested this information. It all seemed logical enough. He had something to stick in, and inversely, places to stick it into. Right. Okay, now to hear the technical parts. When Treize was silent, he presumed that he was supposed to reiterate what the man had said in his own words. "So. What you're saying essentially... is that the weapon is there, but... the sheath needs a different manner of preparation." Having abandoned the safety of fixating on the discoloured splotch of carpet near the right front leg of his chair, Wufei was looking straight ahead, so he couldn't see Treize blink oddly at him.

"… Yeah, you could put it that way… Do you like to fence, Wufei?" So he was feisty and cute.

"I handle a sword admirably, yes." Did this fool not know who he was? Fine, he will leave the man to revel in his ignorance. Perhaps this would be an injustice to his beloved Nataku; however, if there was no reason to delve back into wartime memories, he wouldn't. Treize eased up from the desk, and Wufei stiffened. The man only moved back behind his desk, taking a picture out and sliding it across towards Wufei. Curiosity piqued, Wufei leaned forward in his chair to see what it was. "… you fence?"

"I did, yes," the man offered a warm smile as he sat back down. Wufei was thankful for this as he could breath properly again. Unconsciously he tugged at the collar of his tank top. The material loosened, forming a deep fold that offered Treize a decent look at the smoothly muscled expanse of Wufei's chest. Had it not been for Wufei's obvious, and downright adorable, discomfort, the view would have made Treize suspicious.

"Hot? Want me to turn up the air conditioning?" Treize gestured to the unit on the wall behind Wufei, and the boy insistently shook his head. No, warriors don't need central air. Wufei couldn't remember anyone's presence making him this uncomfortable in the past, in this manner. His skin felt warm, and the heat was rising… His breath was unsure, and his heart was beating unsteadily in his chest. What was this feeling?

The man pressed his lips thinly together, turning his head to look at the couch. It was sessions like this that were perhaps the most difficult. Not that he could recall many students of late that were quite as attractive as this one. A cute, vulnerable, tough-on-the-outside boy, strolling in to indirectly question his own sexuality… Treize couldn't look at him. Wouldn't. Not with the way the front of his pants were tenting like that. He knew the boy obviously hadn't realized as yet, but parts of him were far too aware.

But the boy was silent. Obviously waiting to hear more. Eager lad.

This only made Treize's pants shrink another size. Damn this job. Seeing the boy in the corner of his eye, he let the smile reach his lips. 'How I love it.'

Unconsciously licking his lips, his hands curled over the arm rests of his chair. "Well, it's simply a matter of lubrication, really." The boy blushed prettily across the bridge of his nose. Torture, sweet torture. If the police could screen his thoughts right then… he'd be in so much trou~ble… "There are brands… Astroglide, KY - which is typically a vaginal lubricant, but works as well… However," he added matter of factly, "Nothing with Vaseline or petroleum-based as that can weaken the latex in condoms… and I, of course, have your best interests in mind, no? You do know about condoms, right?" Treize smirked, tempted to do another demonstration while the boy sputtered, as if trying to say something but not being able to find the words.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" … The boy shook his head fervently, not to be defeated by this… creature of perversion that had made itself evident in the last minutes of this session. Or giving into it, he wasn't quite sure which. "Well, condoms, as you know, are one of the best methods of preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases…" Next to abstaining from sex altogether, but Treize was sure as hell not going to suggest that and undo all his hard work… For a moment, it seemed as the torrent of hormones behind Wufei's eyes had simmered - but just wait.

The boy's eyes widened to impossible diameters as Treize reached into his desk drawer and pulled out what he could only make out to be a facsimile of… the male reproductive organs. The boy was holding the bridge of his nose, and Treize offered a box of tissues. Poor boy. 'Suffer as I suffer.'

Wufei roughly snatched a tissue and wiped his nose, feeling a trickle of blood, but pretending he had to sneeze. It was looking down then that he had noticed his own arousal. Cursing himself in several different languages, he decided to just pretend it wasn't there. Mr. Khushrenada had said nothing, so neither would he. Maybe it would just… go away. The boy took deep, slow calming breaths. The silence seemed to urge Treize to continue.

An audible gulp echoed through the room as the man pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and offered up a condom from it and proceeded to take it out of its foil packaging. No one spoke while he did this, though Treize found it extensively difficult not to laugh. Wufei didn't know what that thing on his desk was, what it was used for, and he wasn't sure he was old enough to find out legally. It just stood up tall and proud, in all it's flesh-toned glory as Treize wrapped his fingers around it. His other hand held the circle of a condom, holding the two apart so the boy could get a clear view during the… demonstration.

By this time, Treize had been making mental updates on Wufei's 'condition.' The boy's posture made the bulge in his pants no less obvious, and the manner in which Wufei clung to the arms of the chair was definitely going to leave marks in the wood. He watched closely as Wufei's throat worked overtime, the boy was obviously swallowing whatever words or pride he had left. Casually licking his lips, he used his eyes to lead the boy's to watch as he very slowly slicked the latex over his very conveniently placed dildo. Treize was quite pleased by the nearly inaudible gasp when he cupped the rubber testicles and held the dildo up horizontal just in front of his chin - to model his work for Wufei. Gently resting the object back down, as if it were made of glass, Treize smoothed down the condom once more - stroking the false member as if it were a regular paperweight on his desk that he was straightening out. Folding his hands neatly in front of him, he somehow managed to ask with a straight face, "Any questions?"

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

A few seconds later, Wufei clicked back into reality from wherever he had been and nodded dumbly.

"I am sure you might have guessed where a man takes in another, correct?" Wufei nodded dumbly. "And I'm sure you might have noticed that it's quite a tight fit?" … again, the boy nodded. "It is far tighter than a woman, and as it does not have the natural slickness a woman has," Treize said rather matter-of-factly.

"Some fancy that saliva is enough, but for those new to the experience, it's wise to properly stretch and coat the cavity with a lubricant before penetration…" There was a twitch of the boy's eyebrow at 'stretch.' Ah, another silent question which Treize was eager to answer. "Well, as I was saying. Some prefer to use their tongue to stimulate the opening, allowing it to accommodate something smaller before… the main event." Treize didn't overtly watch as Wufei's bulge pulsed against the soft fabric of his pants, but he couldn't say he wasn't having a similar problem. "Others will use their fingers, one… then two…" He held two hands in front of him, inserting one finger into the fist of the other… then two. "Sometimes three… you know, to be safe." Treize didn't want to get into details of what bleeding and tearing of the delicate tissue could lead to… disease, hemorrhoids, and other erection-depleting things.

Watching as another finger was lost in the man's fist, Wufei shifted in his seat, pressing his rear into the cushion as if to find some of the friction he watched in front of him. It wasn't helping. Some part of his brain was absorbing the information, surely, but most of him wasn't paying attention in the educative manner he had intended when he came. The man's fingers spread out, his fist opening ever so slightly, moving around… demonstrating the 'stretching.' Wufei gulped audibly once again.

"It is still quite tight even after such ministrations… so it's good to start slow…" Treize let the word slip off his tongue slowly, unconsciously licking his lips again. He nearly jumped the boy when Wufei moistened his lips in the same instant. "Allow the muscles time to adjust, and you must relax of course… you--your friend-- wouldn't want to hurt his lover, now would he?" Wufei shook his head slowly in time with Treize shaking his own.

"T-that's… it, right?" The Chinese boy cursed himself for sounding so weak, his voice trembling and unsure. He knew well that his face was burning red and flushed, and became very self-conscious. Wufei crossed his arms in front of him, curling his hands over the end of the seat cushion, hoping to conceal his arousal. His cock was so hard it was starting to ache and he could hear his pulse thundering in his ears… and for some reason, he was salivating. However, the timid gesture to hide his excitement only served to heighten Treize's desire.

'Jail bait. Jail bait. Jail bait,' was the soft mantra in the back of Treize's head. But those soft lips were pursed in a manner that begged to be plundered...Options. Had to find options.

One: Get the boy out of the office as fast as possible.

Two: Don't, and risk losing your job, license, reputation.

Three: Don't, and get laid by a fascinatingly arousing boy who was just footsteps away from being legal.

Shaking his head, trying to free himself of hormones - that were apparently contagious - Wufei didn't dare look up at Treize. He didn't want to admit that he was attracted to a man, let alone the one in the room. He didn't want to think of himself as being "gay"… as it was always associated with girly, or weak. Quatre in a frilly white apron popped into mind, which oddly… didn't help loosen the tension in his pants.

Maybe because in his mind, that was all Quatre was wearing.

"… h-have you ever…" the voice was barely a whisper, but he already knew the answer before he finished. It was hanging in the air, whispering just behind his ear, heightening all of the boy's senses tenfold. 'Warriors don't act this way,' he chided himself over and over again. 'Warriors do not fold to pleasures of the Treize-Flesh!... pleasures of the flesh...'

It was no longer a question that he was… not entirely against the notion of being attracted to males, so much as this particular male. He had forked eyebrows for crying out loud, which just spoke volumes of evil. Said devil smiled, with his manipulative ways. Yes, Wufei was being manipulated. For there would be absolutely no other reason, purpose, for even thinking in the way he was. He felt rather than saw the man nod to his question, and turned his head away.

"Taken it up the ass? Sure, a few times. Given it? My fair share," the man attempted to lighten the atmosphere with a soft chuckle. However, his tone of voice betrayed him… husky and nearly dripping with lust. He watched out of the corner of his eye as his career sprouted wings and began to fly - fly high into the sky… His control wasn't far behind, and he was giving less of a damn with each passing second.

Wufei could just make up an excuse and jettison out of his seat into the hall. However, he was not in the… condition, shall we say, to do so. It was embarrassing enough that this man saw him in his 'delicate' state, but for the entire rest of the world? So, he remained anchored to his spot. Such… language. And this man was supposed to be a role model?

This was territory that made Wufei infinitely more comfortable. This was injustice. The likelihood of this man representing any sort of model behavior was ludicrous. Simply ludicrous. Finding a voice, a spark within him yet, he began, "So. You prefer to be on top, then, is it?" He was almost smug in his deduction, which Treize found infinitely more alluring. The rouge on his cheeks was fading as he found his mental footing again. He was not quite ready to straighten up yet, as he hadn't found a way to will away the throbbing hard-on in his pants, however, he did raise a challenging eyebrow - one that was not forked, and therefore, fighting for the side of good, Wufei reasoned.

"Actually, the partners I find often naturally take to the bottom as proportion would dictate," Treize responded calmly. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, and shrugged his shoulders as if he just said 'the price of apples went up today.'

"Oh. So the larger could never be the bottom?" Wufei nearly hissed. He was stout, by genetics, he couldn't help it. But be damned if he were to be dominated. Never! His subconscious was quietly pointing out that he wouldn't mind being on the bottom of this particular man; however, the part in charge was barrelling onward. Onward Chinese Soldiers~... "I would think the dominant position belongs to he who has a stronger state of mind and spirit - nothing of this ... size business."

"You have a point," Treize conceded gallantly. "However personally speaking, the majority of men I've met simply assume I'd rather be on top. Furthermore," he continued, before Wufei could take offense at the not-so-subtle accusation, "there are far more who prefer bottoming and do so exclusively." He added silently to himself, 'Treize the uke,' indeed. Treize took a guess at the reason behind Wufei's sudden hostility and his features softened as he leveled his gaze cooly on the boy, "You're working from the assumption that receiving makes one weaker. Bottoming is hardly as submissive as you may have been led to believe. The receiving partner has a good deal of control and one can 'top from the bottom' so to speak."

Wufei had no time to feel offended - although it was building up steadily, boiling in the back of his mind like storm clouds - as Treize had hardly taken a breath when he continued on, "A truly attentive lover understands that his partner's pleasure is important. My lover is the recipient of far more than penetration; I work towards bringing him to the height of his desire. In truth," Treize lowered his voice even further, "he has complete control, for if he isn't satisfied, neither am I."

Treize allowed a long stretch of silence for all of the information to sink
in. Obviously, the young dragon (as he is often called by each and every fanfic there is) was having problems processing everything. Frankly, he was still pinned to the idea that Treize had commented on his size. You know, in the biblical sense. Wufei could not let the ginger-haired man (as Treize was often called by each and every fanfic there is) sally forth with this injustice. He was ridiculing, condescending, and disturbingly arousing, and Wufei would have none of it! If Treize had been planning to say anything else, he was cut off by the boy hopping out of his seat and pointing a finger in his face accusingly from across his desk.

"What the HELL kind of counsellor do you think you are?! These proceedings are highly uncouth, you… you!" There was a brief pause while Wufei tried to think of a creative explicative, "You pervert!" Great going, Wu-man. "You've been far from professional since the moment I walked in here - with those… looks and those eyebrows and those well-fitting slacks! How dare you! You are no man of honor!" He had to pause to take in a sharp inhalation. He didn't stop to let Treize get a word in edge-wise, oh no.

"You didn't ask me any of the right questions when I had prepared for this entire encounter! Not to mention you have done a poor job of answering objectively. Speaking of which, you have brought far more personal information into the conversation than was entirely necessary. And furthermore! I refuse to sleep with you, no matter how good looking you are and how much I'd like to see you prove that you are the lover you say you are!" Wufei punctuated this with a muttered Chinese explicative, as the palms of his hands crashed down on the desk's mahogany surface.

Victim to the Chinese boy's angry outburst, the dildo on the edge of the desk wobbled and toppled down to the floor. Wufei's legs felt ready to collapse and turn him into a similarly quivering, flesh-toned mass on the carpet... He hadn't taken in quite enough oxygen during his speech and the sudden expulsion of energy was rapidly taking its toll. It had been quite some time since he'd gotten that angry, and felt that much fury. So much so, that it took him a moment before he realized what he had just said.

"… my. I think we made a breakthrough." Treize said blandly, as he blinked up at the red-faced boy who promptly sagged down to the floor and banged his forehead against the table.

'… why, Nataku, why.' The invisible deity named that of Nataku was curious as to what Wufei was addressing. Was it why was he banging his head on the desk, or why he found his chin tilted upward on the receiving end of a kiss?

It was a soft, tempered kiss. Careful, and yet… The hairs on the back of Wufei's neck stood on end. However, this occurred only partially because of the prickling excitement that suddenly coursed through his veins. The hairs were acting quite like that of the fur on the back of a kitten that was threatening to claw your hand off for stroking it the wrong way. After all of that, the son of a bitch still had the fucking nerve to play the dominant partner.

Determined to take control of the situation, Wufei fumbled his way up onto the desk. Once finding a point of steady leverage as he knelt on its smooth surface - well, smooth after he sent any offensive element clattering to the floor - he roughly gripped his hands over the base of the man's neck, attempting to forcefully take the upper hand. For a while, he thought it worked, even if he was bruising his own lips down on the counselor's. However, the chuckle rumbling from the receiving end was unmistakable.

Treize winced when he felt the boy dig his nails into the back of his neck and pull away as roughly as his onslaught had begun. "Just WHAT is so
funny?!" Wufei barked… er, well, it was more like a breathless yip. He was just so gosh darned cute when he was trying to be domineering. Shaking his head, some of his ginger (yes, ginger) locks shook from their well-kept place. Treize closed his eyes as he leaned forward to resume the kiss, at the same time attempting to escape the digits pressed harshly into his skin.

Blinking his eyes open, he noticed his lips were pursed at air. He looked blankly at the boy scowling at him, kneeling quite comfortably at the other end of his desk. So far so good, had him on two of his fours… Now if he would just give up this alpha male warrior crap and let Treize have his way with him, this whole thing could be mutually satisfying and pleasurable. Stubborn boy.

"Wufei, honestly…" Treize relaxed his shoulders, sounding slightly exasperated. "We both want it, just … go with it. Work with me here." Trying to lean forward again, he was rudely interrupted with a hand tightening around his jugular. Squawking in surprise, his larger hands curled around the boy's slender wrist attempting to detach it.

"Who are you to be giving orders…" the boy's tone was low and feral. His grip loosened if only to allow Treize to offer some form of verbal penance. Instead he was met with a growl, and a gleam in those dark blue eyes.

Has Wufei bitten off more than he could chew? Will Treize ever get laid? Will Wufei ever get back in time to help Duo with his 'creative writing assignment'?

Tune in next time, same bat time, same bat channel.

===

~Omake Theatre~

Yaoi 101, the Untold Story:

'Without the Frills'

Wufei : I have some… questions.

Treize : Oh, really? (sipping his coffee idly)

Wufei : About taking it up the ass.

Treize : (sputters and spills coffee into his lap) Excuse me, say that again?

Wufei : About taking a new class.

Treize : (clearing his throat and straightening his tie, heaving a sigh of relief… he was on the spot there for a bit, wasn't he?) … yes well, what class is it?

Wufei : Cocksucking.

Treize : … (pressing two fingers to his temple) … I'm sorry, come again?

Wufei : … (pausing, glancing up at the ceiling) I don't recall the first time, sorry. (couldn't find a creative cover for 'cocksucking' anyway… other than something out of place like 'duck hunting' or something)

Treize : Look, Wufei, I understand that you're having new "feelings", it's part of being a teenager… but I have to tell you that this is not the way to go about… "exploring" those "feelings"… (insert Treize doing the little quotations gestures around all the words in "")

Wufei : Well, I did about all the exploring I could do on my own - I mean, I only have two hands.

Treize : (tilting his head to the side considering this, with a little nod) Got just the thing. (opening up his desk drawer and pulls out a vibrating butt plug and offers)

Wufei : Been there, done that.

Treize : (plants that on the desk and offers a chain of anal beads)

Wufei : Those were so two weeks ago.

Treize : (heaves a mighty sigh, shuffling further into his desk drawer) Good old fashioned dildo? (offers a eight-incher, Wufei looked unimpressed) How about visual aids?

Wufei : (ears perk up curiously) Visual aids?

Treize : You know. Like porn. Doujinshi. You've never used them before in all of your… explorations? (raising his eyebrows incredulously)

Wufei : What weakling needs those? Real warriors have imagination.

Treize : (another laboured sigh, stroking the bridge of his nose) Look. I can't …

Wufei : Fuck my brains out? Give it to me long and hard? Ram it home?

Treize : (one of his bizarre eyebrows twitch, as he tries not to blush) ANY of those… because it's illegal. I'll lose my job.

Wufei : Who needs a job when you're dead?

Jayni : (pops out of the woodwork) Wufei, follow the script. You can't say that. He's not dead in this story.

Wufei : Hey. I want to get laid sometime today.

Jayni : … and we'd all love to see it… (winks to the audience) But could you try another more reasonable argument?

Wufei : Baka onna! That's perfectly reasonable! Gimme that! (snatches the script, and grabs a magic marker off of Treize's desk and runs a big black line through the page he should've been following and writes in big bold letters "AND THEY BANG EACH OTHER SENSELESS, HAPPILY EVER AFTER, AMEN"… throws the script in Jayni's face, catapulting her back into the invisible void where authors go into the background) … So. Let's hop to, shall we?