Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Edulcoration of Duo Maxwell ❯ Communication ( Chapter 5 )

The Edulcoration of Duo Maxwell - 5/?

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Note: This fic is a response to Nova Una's challenge to write Gundam Wing/Pretty Woman fusion fic with Heero in the Julia Roberts role and Duo in the Richard Gere role.

Warnings: AU (duh), yaoi (double duh), language, citrusy situations, suggestive dialog, significant deviation from Pretty Woman script, although it bears enough similarities to still be considered a fusion.

Disclaimer: I don't really need to be Captain Obvious here, do I?

Edulcorate (verb)- To free from harshness (as of attitude) or to soften

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Chapter 5 - Communication

Heero's fingers flew over the keyboard as if he'd been born seated at a computer, and within moments he was viewing a list of search results on Lorelei Lee. The first few hits had him puzzled and somewhat offended, until he saw the next one.

Which was a review of the movie Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, starring Marilyn Monroe as Lorelei Lee.

That had to be the reference Duo was making, Heero thought, his eyes flicking over to the blond wig draped over a chair. But Duo said he HADN'T hired Lorelei Lee. So, no wig?

He got up and fingered the jagged bangs on his wig, running his other hand through his own mop of hair. They were markedly different, the wig having an impossibly smooth texture, and his own hair coarse and thick. He frowned slightly, then walked into the bathroom, where he couldn't help perusing the variety of hair care products Duo had.

There weren't many. An industrial sized bottle of conditioner, and a smaller bottle of shampoo of the same brand in the shower. Most likely the two of them alone cost more than Heero made in one night. Excepting the night before, of course, but most of Heero's johns didn't want more than a quick hand or blow job, sometimes in a car or alley. Heero didn't do any jobs out in public. The risks of getting caught were much higher, and entanglements with local law enforcement he didn't need. He wondered if Duo would mind if he borrowed his hair brush, then shrugged and used it anyway before climbing into the shower. He was surprised at the way the bristles had massaged his scalp. Most likely some type of designer brush, as well.

As he lathered himself, he thought of what he needed to do in preparation for his first assignment of the week.

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Duo was leafing through several pages of a report he'd been handed earlier that day, making notes in the margins and frowning slightly on occasion. Wufei poked his head in the door.

"Duo."

Duo waved him in and threw the stapled pages on his desk in disgust. "I don't know why they think anyone would pay them so much as a farthing for a business that they've systematically run into the ground. Normally this is good news for us, but they have really little in the way of saleable components."

Wufei suppressed the urge to grin. Duo had that affect on him. Most people thought he lacked any real intelligence, but that was an image Duo cultivated. It worked to his advantage to have people underestimate him before he went in for the kill. Of course, people never made that mistake twice, but the ones who did usually weren't in a position to worry about it later.

They made a good team, he thought with satisfaction. Duo called it the good cop, bad cop approach, but in the end, both of them were ruthless when the need called for it.

That reminded him of what he was doing there in the first place.

"Peacecraft is expecting you for dinner at the Samurai, seven o'clock sharp."

"The Samurai? That's an unusual choice."

"I think he's going for neutral territory," Wufei shrugged. "Perhaps he thinks you have spies in the food service industry, and haven't had time to plant any in a newer restaurant."

Duo grinned at him briefly. "Anything else I need to know, Chang?" he said, his voice all business. Wufei started at the emotionless tone, and shook his head as he noticed Duo's eyes twinkling a bit.

"No."

"Wufei..." the warning was there in Duo's voice.

Duo knew very well his partner was concerned about his parting comment the previous evening about showing Peacecraft 'family,' and to be honest, he really couldn't blame the man. Wufei knew that it was a sore spot for Duo, who refused to talk about his background. The little that Wufei had managed to learn over the past few years was that Duo had gotten where he was through a combination of grit, determination, and, like all successful businessmen, a dash of dumb luck at just the right time.

"Do you trust me?" Duo asked.

Wufei repressed a sigh. "Yes. I wouldn't be working with you on a job of this size if I didn't, would I?"

Duo laughed, and Wufei noticed that it lacked some of the usual humor.

"Don't be late," he finally said, only to earn a dirty look in response.

Once Wufei left, Duo picked up the pages of the discarded report and tapped them against his thigh as he thought.

He should let Heero know what time he needed to be ready, because from the look of the stack of papers on his desk, he wasn't going to be able to get back to the hotel in time to tell him in person.

He picked up the phone and waited impatiently for the receptionist to dial his room. It rang several times before the automated voice asked if he'd like to leave a message. He frowned. Where the hell was Heero?

He decided the man was most likely in the shower, and looked at his watch. He'd call back in ten minutes.

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Heero hung up the towel he'd used, and walked around the room as he waited for his legs to air dry enough to put the leather pants on. He glanced at the laptop again. Well, it wasn't like he could leave the room wearing nothing more than his wig, and what else was he going to do until he could put his pants on?

He didn't do much upscale shopping, so it would help if he had an idea of where to go to obtain the necessary attire for this evening. He nodded to himself. Duo would WANT him to take advantage of the tools at his disposal in obtaining what he needed.

Besides, he'd already used it once.

He'd just pulled up a list of formal wear shops in the area and was skimming them to see which were the most conveniently located when the phone rang. He glanced at it, then shrugged. Duo hadn't told him to answer the phone, and it was just bad form to be that presumptuous.

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Duo looked at his watch and frowned. Had Heero left already? He hung up the phone and stared for a moment, then mentally slapped himself on the head.

Of course Heero was not going to answer the phone. If he had, then he'd have to explain who he was, and it was obvious that Heero prided himself on being the best at what he did. He was sure not many of Heero's clients would appreciate explaining to a wife or girlfriend or boss who they were sharing a room with, if even for an hour.

He glanced at his watch again. Damn it. He supposed he could send a message up to the room, but really didn't want to get others involved. He was probably going to have to leave earlier than he'd planned on. He should have foreseen this.

He turned back to the desktop computer in his office. Maybe he could leave early if he e-mailed some of the files to his laptop.

His laptop.

A smile curved Duo's lips as an idea occurred to him.

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A pop up window suddenly appeared on the screen, and Heero's fingers pulled back in alarm.

"Instant Message received from user maxwelld@mcei.com. Do you wish to accept?"

Heero ignored it. He couldn't click NO, because if he did, someone would later tell Duo that they'd been blocked from sending messages. He clicked on the browser again, determined to get the information he needed before someone else tried to contact him.

"Instant Message received from user maxwelld@mcei.com.... Do you wish to accept?"

Heero frowned. Either maxwelld was very persistent, or the instant messenger program was set to provide periodic reminders of the message until it was acknowledged, in case the message arrived while the user was away from the computer.

The first thing was to determine maxwelld's identity. He first opened Duo's e-mail program. There, in Duo's contact list, was "Work e-mail" and next to it maxwelld@mcei.com."

What were the odds that Duo ever received instant messages from himself? It would explain why the program wasn't automatically accepting the message.

Damned if he did, damned if he didn't. With a sigh of resignation, he clicked on YES.

"What are you doing on my computer, Heero?"

Heero frowned briefly, then typed his reply.

"What do you want, Duo?"

"Succinct as always." A pause. "Meet me in the lobby at 6."

Heero's reply was immediate.

"Are you sure you don't want a female date?"

"No. You."

"Cross dressing won't cost you extra."

Duo frowned at the message that displayed on his screen. He supposed he might be flattered that Heero was willing to dress as a woman for him, to play up to Peacecraft's fondness for family men, but he was also insulted that Heero would think that he was worried about the money.

But now that Heero brought it up...

No. Absolutely not. He prided himself on misdirection more than outright lying, and trying to play Heero off as a woman would be a mistake, no matter how he looked at it. He didn't think those arms of Heero's, slender yet well formed, would fool anyone, really. He supposed that Heero could wear something long sleeved. He had no idea what Heero might look like dressed as a woman.

Nor did he have any particular desire to.

"No. Get a damn tux and deal with it."

"Your wish is my command."

Duo grinned. Heero's sarcasm was evident in that last reply, even though it was basically true, at least until Sunday.

"Six o'clock" he reiterated.

"Mission parameters acknowledged." This time Duo laughed outright.

"See you then. And Heero?"

"You're going to make me type out the word WHAT aren't you?"

"You take the fun out of things. Just wanted to let you know I don't mind if you use the computer. Bookmark any good porn sites you find."

There was no response, and Duo wondered if Heero had actually been insulted by that last part. Was he this uptight with all the men he serviced?

Then the message window revealed one word.

"Thanks."

Duo smiled and closed the instant message program.

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Heero blinked at the screen. He'd half-expected the teasing about the porn sites, but not the outright permission. Duo hadn't been angry?

His fingers rested idly on the keyboard for a moment before he shook his head. He had to get that tuxedo, and he hadn't yet picked out which formal wear shop he was going to visit. One within walking distance, most certainly.

Another message window popped up. Duo must have realized he'd forgotten something. Heero decided that he'd take the liberty of changing the messenger settings to automatically receive messages from maxwelld@m.... His hand moved over the touchpad to click on the message while his eyes skimmed the description of one of the shops. He was therefore surprised to realize that the message was not from Duo, but from someone who had sent Duo a website link. Instead of clicking on YES to accept the message, he'd inadvertently clicked on the link.

He cursed loudly. He never made sloppy mistakes like this. That thought sent an unexpected wave of pain through him, one that he forced himself to ignore.

Then he realized the link was a jpeg image of Duo and a female with short dark hair, and he forgot to breathe.

He closed his eyes to block the image from his sight, then opened them slowly. The image was still there, not that he'd expected anything different. Hope had a funny way of defying logic, and here he'd thought he'd given up hope a long time ago. Then he actually studied the woman standing with Duo at an obviously formal event.

The hair coloring was the same, even though it looked a bit longer in the front than when he'd last seen her, and it was impossible to tell what her eye color was in the photo, but the woman in the photo was obviously shorter than Duo. He breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't her. He studied the rest of her features just to reassure himself of that fact.

Thoroughly convinced, he rested his elbows on the desk and dropped his chin onto his clasped hands. His eyes closed for a moment, then he opened them again, looking at the photo from a new perspective.

Although Duo was standing with his arm around the woman, Heero got the impression that there was some sort of distance between them. They were both smiling at someone off camera, the woman looking as if she had been captured in the middle of saying something.

Was this the ex-girlfriend?

Someone had created a caption for the photo in the lower right hand margin. It was typed using a white font that was supposed to resemble handwriting. Heero could read "Winter Fundraiser 20" and the rest of the year was cropped off. It was obvious the caption hadn't been positioned properly on the photo. He couldn't help the little snort he gave at the sloppy workmanship.

Well, what did he do with this now? It hadn't been intended for his eyes. He closed the browser window containing the photo and focused his attention on the instant message that he'd originally thought from Duo to find out the source of the picture. It was a place to start.

Then the screen went black.

He blinked at it a few times, but it still remained dark. His fingers ghosted over the touchpad, but he had a sinking feeling he knew what he was going to see when he looked down at the keyboard.

The power indicator light was off.

When the hell was the last time this thing had been charged, anyway? What good did it do him now? He opened the desk drawer, and sure enough, there was a power cord in it. Heero flicked the switch to the off position before connecting the cord. He could use the cord as either a charger or a power source, but he knew that, as far as that instant message went, it was a lost cause. At least he'd had enough time to determine that the woman in the photo wasn't who he'd thought she was.

The same thing would have happened whether he had been sitting at the computer or not, he decided, and therefore he couldn't be held accountable for the loss of the photo. He left the switch on the power cord set to recharge. He wondered why Duo was using the computer's portable battery instead of just leaving it plugged into the desk, until he realized that the recharge indicator on the power cord was not lit up.

It seemed to be a common theme today, Heero thought, and he searched for another outlet. Which was near enough to leave the computer on the table so it wouldn't need to be disconnected from the network connection, but in a location that left the cord trailing underneath the desk, where it would interfere with the user's legs. Heero cursed the faulty outlet under the desk, but was relieved to have something menial to focus on.

Why hadn't Duo reported the problem with the outlet at the front desk? The penthouse suite was the best of the best, and he couldn't imagine Duo accepting anything less.

Of course, Duo had been a bit preoccupied last night, to put it mildly.

He'd wasted enough time. He grabbed the leather pants, silk shirt, and platinum wig and decided he would just go to the formal shop they'd passed when he drove Duo here the night before.

Just peachy.

tbc

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It goes without saying that I don't own the flick or the book Gentlemen Prefer Blondes anymore than I owe Gundam Wing or any of its characters. In case you were wondering, Lorelei Lee was a blonde "paid companion" in a story set in the early 20th century. In case you wonder what results might confuse or offend Heero, try doing a search for Lorelei Lee and see what kinds of results you obtain. Ironically, the very first search result I clicked on contained bondage!