Hana Kimi Fan Fiction ❯ All Knotted Up ❯ Journal & Gilbert ( Chapter 9 )

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.



ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

 

CHAPTER 9

 

She considered not telling Gilbert.

 

She didn't talk to him about it for almost a week. Instead, she decided to just take a few days for herself and pretend that the world was sweet and that she was just home for a visit.

 

But knowing that she'd probably never see Sano again, she just couldn't fake happiness.

 

The lucky thing for her was that because of the difference in timing of the start and end of the school year, she had transferred in the middle of THEIR sophomore year, but at the end of hers. So when her grades and credits transferred over, the local school district agreed that she'd pretty much passed all the necessary classes already. All she had to do was show up at graduation in June. She'd have the next couple months to take the SAT, apply to the colleges, and try to get accepted for the fall.

 

So she started looking around for colleges where she could learn how to be a dog trainer. And she scheduled a visit with a guidance counselor - who could help her in her decision on where to go to school.

 

Her parents were happy that she wanted to continue school, and agreed that they'd help her work out a schedule so that the baby would be cared for when she was at class. And of course, she'd still live at home, so there wasn't any stress about the need to find a place to live.

 

THAT left her with a lot of free time to think about everything. She was left with hours where she just sat and thought about her time in Japan. She'd pull out Akiha's album and look through it, and the pictures of her shoot, the pictures of her with Sano, and the pictures of just Sano. She'd get sad and happy at the same time.

 

After about 3 days of watching her daughter flip through the photos with longing and determination warring on her face, her mother decided to do something. She came home after her last class of the day with a package in her hands. Walking into the living room, she found Mizuki curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, immersed yet again in her photos.

 

THWUMP!

 

Mizuki jumped a bit when her mother dropped the package on the couch next to her, and looked up at her in surprise. Her mother sat on the couch next to her.

 

“I bought you a present today!” She smiled at her daughter and pulled her feet up onto the couch, sitting Indian-style. Mizuki looked at the bag full of stuff and then back up at her mother, unmoving.

 

“Well, aren't you going to open it?”

 

Tentatively, she reached out her hand and picked up the bundle. It was as heavy as it had sounded from the thump it made when it was dropped. She pulled the new bundle into her lap after closing her photo album and setting it on the end table. Inside the bag she found several packages of stationery - some with little sunflowers in the lower right corner, some that was just nice textured paper, and a third package that was monogrammed A.M. There were also four pens, one topped with Hello Kitty, one with Badtzmaru, one with Chococat, and the fourth was an elegant fountain pen made of rosewood.

 

In addition, there was a leather bound book that was white with yellow ribbon trim: a blank journal.

 

“I thought you might want to write to some of your friends back in Japan,” her mother said, referring to the stationery.

 

“And as for the journal,” she pulled out a worn book that was covered in pink flowered fabric, “well, when I was pregnant with you, I kept a daily journal. It was your father's idea, but when I wrote in it, I sometimes thought maybe someday, I might want to share with my baby all the love I felt while I carried you inside of me.”

 

Mizuki looked up at her mom, startled, her eyes filling up with tears.

 

“So I thought you might want to keep a record, too…

 

“When I was pregnant with you, I wrote in this every day. Would you like me to read to you from it?”

 

Mizuki smiled and nodded.

 

“Okay, come over here.” She held her arms open for her daughter to come snuggle next to her on the couch. Once Mizuki had curled up next to her, head on her shoulder, she opened the book.

 

“You know, this book was more than just your father's idea: he actually picked this journal out and gave it to me to write in.” She flipped through the pages, gently caressing each one as she did. “When his first wife was pregnant with Shizuki, he was still in college, finishing off his degree. He felt like he missed out on sharing the experience with her. He wanted to make sure he never missed anything with you. So he gave this to me, and asked me to write in it.

 

“I asked him why pink flowers. He said, `Because we're having a girl.' I don't know how he knew, but he was so certain.

 

“Now, let's see…

 

Takumi,

Today I had to leave the third year ballet class four separate times to throw up. Luckily, Kristen, my student assistant, was there, and she pretty much ran the class for me. When I was in the classroom, it was all I could do to sit on my stool and watch the girls. I never knew that morning sickness could last throughout the whole day.

 

I wonder if our daughter will dance like me, or be more like you. You see, I've given up trying to even think that you might be wrong about our baby being a girl. I just hope you're right, because if it's a boy, this book could prove to be very embarrassing for him someday.

 

I find myself thinking every time I have to excuse myself from the class, “Oh, come on now, little one. If you don't eat now, you're going to end up having to make up for it later!” I'm just hoping to keep enough down so that she'll grow.

 

Our first child together. And she'll grow up with an exceptional older brother to protect her. I don't know how we got so lucky. Oops. I think this is going to make number 5!

 

“I didn't sign off on that one. However, I did make it to the toilet on time. I thought you might appreciate hearing that one now, before you start getting morning sickness. Better to know it's coming, right?” She hugged her daughter to her.

 

“Maybe you can write in your journal as if you were writing to Sano, and that way you'll feel a little bit like he's here with you.”

 

Mizuki hugged her new journal tightly to her chest, and nodded. Her mother kissed her cheek and got up to start dinner.

 

X X X END SCENE X X X

 

It was on the 5th day back that she was sitting and writing in her journal when the time came for her to tell Gilbert. He'd walked up to her without her noticing him, so the temptation was too strong to resist reaching in and tickling her.

 

“WAH!”

 

“Hey there! What'cha writing?”

 

“Oh! Gilbert!” She quickly slammed the book shut so he couldn't see what she had written. “It's just a journal…”

 

“Okay. Don't worry, I won't peek.” He sat down next to her and put his arm around her. “I'm glad you're back. But you haven't really talked to me at all since you got home.”

 

“Yeah. I know. I'm sorry.” She stares down at her feet, her knees up to her chest. `I wonder how long I'm going to be able to sit like this. Soon there won't be room to pull my knees up. It's so weird how everything - all the little things - are changing on me.'

 

“Don't make that face. I'm not mad at you. I just…” He pulled her into a hug. “I just missed you is all.”

 

She hugged him back, but remained quiet.

 

“And I'm really glad that you're home. I was worried that that Sano guy was going to steal you away from me. But if you're home, maybe I've still got a chance.” He winked at her and smiled until he saw her look of sadness and… almost horror. “What? Did he… Did something happen?”

 

She pulled away from him and drew her knees back up to her chest, hugging them. She looked at the ground and said, “Gilbert, you know what? You were my first love.”

 

“First, huh? But for me to be your first, that implies a second.”

 

She nodded.

 

“Sano, huh?”

 

She nodded.

 

“So why are you here instead of still in Japan?”

 

She sat up and grabbed his sleeve. “You have to promise that you'll… that you'll not tell anyone who doesn't already know when I tell you.”

 

He raised an eyebrow and looked askance at her. “Hmmmm… Sounds juicy.”

 

“I'm serious, Gilbert!” She looked at him angrily.

 

“Okay. Okay. I can see that. I promise that I won't tell anyone who doesn't already know. But you're going to have to tell me who knows for me to keep that promise.”

 

“Shizuki, Julia, Mom and Dad all know. And Doctor Umeda in Japan. That's all.”

 

`Her whole family knows already? I thought this was a keeping-it-from-mom-&-dad type thing. And a doctor…?' Worry creased his brow. “What is it?”

 

“…”

 

“What?!?”

 

“… This is harder than I thought it would be…

 

“Okay. I'm going to start by saying that Sano knew I was a girl all along.”

 

“Yeah, I know.”

 

“JEEZ LOUISE! Did everyone know he knew except me???”

 

“I'd be willing to lay money on it,” he said and tousled her hair.

 

She pouted at him before she continued. “Anyway… I got found out by the dorm heads and Sano stood up for me and told them that they should let me stay since I wanted to be there so bad. And he told me that he never told me he knew because he thought I might leave if I thought he knew and he wanted me to stay by his side.”

 

Gilbert was silent and looked away from her.

 

“Anyway, once he knew that I knew that he knew I was a girl, we started dating. In secret, of course. And…

 

“Gilbert, you know I love you, but Sano is… I…”

 

He pulled her to him and hugged her. “It's okay. I figured. Once he told me that you were the most important person in the world to him, I knew there was a good chance I'd already lost. But if he doesn't realize what he has, I will be right there to… be there for you. Okay?” He gave her a lopsided grin. It was meant to cheer her up. But she turned from him and hugged her knees, looking away. She gave a little sob/gulp. “What's wrong?”

 

She stayed silent and he patiently waited for her to respond.

 

“I may never see Sano again…”

 

“?”

 

“See… I'm… I'm pregnant.”

 

“Wha- Why would that mean that you'd never see him again? Did he… He didn't turn you away did he?!” Fire leaps from his eyes. “That bastard!” `Getting her pregnant and then he turns on to someone else???'

 

“NO!” She yelled at him. “Don't you EVER say anything bad about him!” She was more angry than she'd ever been. It might have had something to do with the hormones and the level of stress that she'd been under, but she had never felt the desire to hit someone as much as she did right then. It took all her strength to not just start wailing on Gilbert for even suggesting that Sano was less than a gentleman - much less calling him a name. A name that she knew some might call her child.

 

“Don't you EVER, EVER say anything bad about him! Sano has done nothing wrong. Nothing.”

 

Gilbert froze as the first part of their conversation came to mind. Only Shizuki, Julia, Mom and Dad, and Dr. Umeda knew.

 

“You didn't tell him.”

 

She shook her head no, and rested her chin on her knees. The anger had now melted away, and she was left exhausted and sad.

 

“You were afraid that he'd stop jumping for you, and that you'd ruin his life, so you left without telling him.”

 

She nodded once only. `Gilbert. How do you always know what I'm thinking?'

 

“But I don't understand… Didn't he fight you leaving?”

 

“Oh. Well, I kinda got found out at the school as being a girl… I passed out and Nakatsu - you remember, he was here that time, too - well, he was loosening my clothes so I could breathe and he kinda uncovered my chest. A bunch of kids saw. So… I was gonna hafta leave anyway…”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah. But I guess I'm lucky, though that I did pass out, aren't I? Because if I hadn't, then Dr. Umeda wouldn't have figured out I was pregnant until probably a couple more weeks, and no one would have known I was a girl so there would have been no reason to leave, and once I found out, then I wouldn't have had a reason to leave without telling Sano the truth!” She smiled up at him, happily. It's nice when you can find a good side to something that's seemed like a bad thing.

 

He shook his head and smiled just a bit. Then he got a bigger grin - almost predatory - and said, “And you've always got me to stand behind you! So you'll never be alone.” He leaned in to whisper in her ear, “And you can always marry me so that you'll have a father for the baby.”

 

She smiled sadly up at him. “I know you're being sweet, but the baby will always have a father - even if Sano can never know.”

 

“I know that. But… You can lean on me like you would on Sano if he were here. Okay?”

 

“Thanks, Gilbert.”

 

He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

 

X X X END SCENE X X X

 

Once he was alone, there was a part of him that thought, `Sano, you've escalated things. I kissed her first, but you were with her first. But I won't give up - not yet!' But the better part of him replied, `Dude. She's gone. She loves him. And she's too sweet to let you be a consolation prize. She cares too much about you for that, and you know it. If you really love her, you're going to have to be there for her and not expect anything back.'

 

“I guess so. Okay. I guess so.”

 

X X X END CHAPTER X X X