InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Incomplete ❯ Chapter 16 ( Chapter 16 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: Langus

Kagome sat atop the edge of the well. Her fingers thrummed rhythmically against the aged wood while her eyes stared unseeingly at the grass beneath her feet. She'd spent nearly a week in the modern era thinking over Sesshomaru's proposal.

Can I really leave Inuyasha and the others and stay with Sesshomaru?

She loved Inuyasha, and had for a long time, but his feelings were so hard to pin down. She was tired of being hurt, tired of feeling jealous towards a dead woman, and really tired of living in someone else's shadow. She hated the fact that every time he looked at her with a certain softness in his eyes, a tiny voice in the back of her mind whispered that it was Kikyo's face he was seeing instead of hers. Love wasn't supposed to be this complicated.

If she stayed she knew she would be sentencing herself to a lifetime of feeling inadequate. She would constantly live under the burden of knowing that she didn't measure up to his standards. How could she ever be truly happy that way? He may love her and he may have sworn to protect her with his life, but it just wasn't enough. She needed more and she deserved more. But saying goodbye to him…? She dreaded thinking about it. Would she even have the strength?

Kagome looked up to see Inuyasha emerge from the woods. He stopped at the clearing and the two locked eyes across the field. It felt like an eternity passed before he slowly came forward and stopped in front of her.

"So, have you made your choice?" he asked coolly. His hands were balled into tight fists at his sides and she could feel the tension emanating from him. This was going to be so hard. Kagome felt tears already brimming in her eyes when she threw herself into his arms. He wrapped them tight around her body and held her as she sobbed into his haori.

It was several seconds before he could make what she was saying between sobs.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Inuyasha," she kept repeating over and over again. He only held her tighter, trying to console her any way he could.

When she finally pushed herself out of his embrace she couldn't bear to meet his gaze.

"Kagome?" she heard him ask tentatively as he tried to catch her eye. She shook her head as she wiped the tears from her face.

"I'm sorry Inuyasha but I need to go."

The half demon took an unconscious step backwards. A look of shock washed over his features.

"What are you talking about? I thought...you were going to stay. You promised...until we found all the shards of the Sacred Jewel!"

She shook her dark head and heaved a despondent sigh. Her legs gave out and she collapsed down onto the edge of the well once more.

"I'll keep searching for the jewel shards. I have a duty to collect them and fix what I broke, but I can't do this anymore," she explained softly, pain evident in her tone.

"Do what?" Inuyasha argued, knowing full well what she was getting at.

"This!" she said exasperated, and waved at the air around them. "I'm tired of feeling like this. And getting hurt. And loving someone who can't love me back. I can't do it anymore."

"So your answer is to run off to Sesshomaru? What about the others? We need you here!" he shouted back, showing his anger for the first time.

"They'll understand," she snapped.

Seeing her expression darken, he softened his tone and added, "I need you here. Stay, please."

He'd begged her to stay with him like this before and she'd always given in, but this time things were different. She'd finally reached her limit and she wasn't going to forgive him so easily. Kagome stood and wrapped her arms around him. His expression turned hopeful when she held him tight and kissed him softly on the cheek. The hope faded however when she whispered, "Good bye Inuyasha," before leaving him behind and walking into the forest.

He watched her leave in silence and didn't make a move to stop her. She was right. What right did he have to ask her to stay? He hadn't given her any good reason to. His chest ached as he watched her walk out of his life. It felt like a deep emptiness was slowly consuming him from the inside out. Sitting down on the well in a daze he stared at nothing, hardly able to believe that this time he'd really lost her. This time she wasn't coming back and the truth of it hurt more than he ever thought it would.

oOo

Kagome wandered through the forest with her arms wrapped around her body in a tight hug. She felt horrible about leaving him behind but knew it was for the best. The others would understand. For the first time she was putting herself first. It felt liberating, but there was still some guilt eating her up inside.

Should I go back to make sure he's okay? she wondered, casting a worried glance over her shoulder. Her feet crunched noisily over the forest floor and filled the silence of her thoughts. After a moment she decided it was best to continue along the path she'd already started down. It would be too hard to go back now and if she saw him hurting she wouldn't have the willpower to say no to him again.

Stepping out to the edge of a rocky outcrop she peered down the sheer rock face and into the tops of the trees below. It was quite a long way down. With a sigh, she eased herself down onto the edge of the cliff and waited for Sesshomaru to find her. At least out on a cliff like this it would be easy for him to pick up her scent. She only had to wait a couple of hours before she felt him emerge silently from the bushes behind her.

"You've decided?" he asked, his voice cold and emotionless. She nodded slowly and swallowed down the tightness in her throat.

"Please, can we wait just a little while longer," she asked softly. "I'm not ready yet."

Sesshomaru nodded and joined her in watching the sun set over the horizon from his spot at the edge of the forest. He wasn't normally one to take time to accommodate the weaknesses of others, but given the circumstances he bit back his pride just this once and waited.

Author's Note: Sorry I know this one is a little short too but it covers all the basics :) Thank you to everyone who has spent time reviewing! You guys are really great :)

Sota is going on a short break at the moment but he's going to come back near the end and play a role in the developing relationship between Sess and Kags.