InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Incomplete ❯ Chapter 35 ( Chapter 35 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: Langus

Kagome awoke to the delicious aroma of breakfast cooking over the small fire in Kaede's hut. Blinking her eyes wide she stifled a yawn and sat up. Cocking her head to the side, she watched Inuyasha crouched on his haunches next to the fire. He appeared to be tending to two freshly caught fish sizzling over the flames.

A loud rumble from her stomach quickly drew his attention and he turned to greet her with a warm smile. She returned it tentatively, still unsure what to make of their situation.

"Hey there, I hope you're hungry!"

She nodded and was surprised to feel her smile broaden. She couldn't get over how different he was now that he was human. In a way she almost missed the half-demon part of him, the cocky side of his personality that was fearless to a fault and utterly frustrating. It felt like decades since she'd heard the endearing terms "wench" or “baka” slip from his lips.

He offered her a bowl of rice topped with a filet of freshly cooked fish and she gratefully accepted it.

In many ways he was still the same boy she'd always known, but subtle changes like the warmth of his smile and the softness in his eyes made him different. She liked that he didn't try to hide his emotions from her. He didn't have to hate his human side any longer and she was glad to see that he appeared to have finally embraced it.

She watched him carefully nibble at the fish and had to hide her smile when he burned his tongue on the hot flesh.

Shaking her head at the string of curses flowing from his lips she realized that he was much more relaxed these days. As a half demon he'd been wound tighter than a drum, but now he acted as if he didn't have a care in the world.

I guess in a way he really doesn't have anything to stress over, Kagome realized.

Naraku's gone, the Sacred Jewel is gone, Sesshomaru's dead...

She swallowed hard, remembering how things used to be. A couple of weeks ago her biggest problem in life had been trying to figure out what wish to make on the Sacred Jewel and now everything was different. The life she'd known was gone.

Sesshomaru and I...We used to have quiet mornings like these.

Kagome was brought back from her thoughts when she realized that Inuyasha was staring at her. Shaking her head to clear it she shot him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry what?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes at her in frustration.

"I said, aren't you hungry? You've hardly touched your fish."

He pointed meaningfully to the bowl rapidly cooling between her fingers.

Though the fish smelled delicious, her appetite seemed to have evaporated with her melancholy thoughts. Giving a half hearted excuse about not feeling well she offered it to him to eat instead. A fleeting look of concern crossed his features before he took it from her.

"Are you feeling okay?"

Kagome saw the concern in his eyes when he looked at her but she waved her hand to dismiss it.

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine. I just wasn't as hungry as I thought. The fish was delicious…The best I've ever had!"

Kagome hoped her cheeriness didn't sound as false to him as it did to her. His face was hidden by his hair as he gathered up their waste, but she could have sworn she saw a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Once everything was clean he made her close her eyes and took her by the hands to lead her out of the hut.

"Inuyasha, where are we going?" she demanded as she tilted her face up towards the weak winter sun. He grinned at her even though she couldn't see him and gave her hands a squeeze.

"I have a surprise for you. Come on, it's just a few steps this way."

As they continued to walk, the ground beneath Kagome's feet shifted from the familiar soft crunch of snow to a dull snap from the twigs and dead leaves littering the forest floor. Tilting her face upwards once more she felt the shade of the tree boughs overhead and realized that they had entered Inuyasha's forest.

Why did he bring me all the way here? she wondered quietly to herself.

Kagome was thankful when they finally stopped a few moments later. She felt Inuyasha drop her hands and quickly wrapped her arms around herself in a hug. While rubbing the material of her jacket up and down, she danced back and forth between her feet to keep warm.

What was taking so long?

"Okay, you can open your eyes now," she heard Inuyasha say.

Curiosity overcame her and her eyes flew open to reveal his big "surprise." The squeal that left her lips was nearly deafening as she launched herself at Miroku and Sango, beaming from ear to ear.

"Kagome we've missed you so much! I'm so glad you're back!" Sango said, cheerily pulling her into another hug. Kagome had never seen her friend smile so wide and it made her smile too.

Miroku smiled and nodded a greeting of his own, “Welcome back, Kagome.”

Turning to Inuyasha, she sighed practically beaming.

"Thank you! You don't know how much I've missed them."

He blushed and rubbed behind his left ear the way he always did when he was feeling bashful.

"Hey! Don't you have some news to tell us?" he perked up, giving Sango and Miroku a rueful grin.

Kagome looked at the pair confused. They shared a glance between themselves and a blush stained their cheeks. It was Miroku who decided to speak up first. Rubbing the back of his head with a nervous laugh he tried to explain,

"Well, you see…when you left we didn't know when you were going to be coming back.”

Her brow lifted in surprise and she leaned forward expectantly.

“Sango and I…well…we…," he stopped with a nervous chuckle and Kagome looked expectantly to Sango.

“What? What? Tell me!”

"We got married!" Sango finished, shooting Miroku a reassuring smile. He looked at her fondly and absentmindedly rubbed her hand with his own before turning back to Kagome with a sheepish grin.

"Yeah, we got married. I'm sorry Kagome but I'm spoken for now so you can just put those fantasies you've always had about me back on the shelf," he jested with a laugh.

Even though she was obviously disappointed that she'd missed such an important event, Kagome was deliriously happy for her friends. After everything they'd sacrificed to fight Naraku and join her search for the jewel shards, they'd finally found happiness together.

"So why are you guys here?”

"Well, Inuyasha sent Shippo to tell us you'd come back," Sango explained. "We hadn't seen you in so long we figured we'd better make the trip before you returned to Sesshomaru's palace. How long do you think you'll be staying? Has Sesshomaru been treating you okay? Shippo said something about you being really sick?"

The cheery mood in the group instantly dissipated, leaving Sango looking around confused.

"Sesshomaru's dead."

Kagome was surprised how cold and unattached her own voice sounded. It was the first time she'd actually admitted the horrible truth aloud, but it didn't make her feel any better. It didn't give her any level of closure or peace of mind. If anything, it made her feel worse knowing that she'd finally accepted the cruel reality of her situation.

"We were attacked by his palace guards and advisors. They threatened to kill me so he tried to take them on but there was too many of them and he…there was just too many."

Kagome paused to swallow the lump that'd formed in her throat before continuing on in a shaky voice, "The guards left me for dead in the woods but thankfully Kouga found me and took care of me until Ginta and Hakkaku brought me here."

"Kouga! I thought Ginta and Hakkaku found you!" Inuyasha cried out incredulously. Kagome shook her head and placed a hand on his arm to calm him down.

"No, it was Kouga who found me. I remember hearing him talking to me while I was still sleeping," she explained gently.

"He took good care of me Inuyasha, don't be angry with him."

He pulled his arm away from her grasp and folded it with the other one across his chest. Turning away he mumbled to himself about all the things he'd like to do to the "mangy wolf." Even though he was human, he still held onto his intense feelings of rivalry towards the wolf demon.

Sango and Miroku exchanged knowing glances; apparently nothing had changed in their absence.

"Well regardless of who found you, it's a good thing they did. You might have died from exposure otherwise," Miroku pointed out, lifting his eyes to the thick layer of snow on the branches above them. Kagome and Sango both nodded solemnly.

"Speaking of exposure…I'm freezing!"

Kagome rubbed the fabric of her overcoat to try and warm herself up again. Without hesitating, Inuyasha stepped over and wrapped the extra layers of his haori around her. She nodded her thanks and he pulled her in close so she could share his body heat.

"Let's go back to the village. We can catch up there. The hut should be nice and warm."

The others nodded and followed him down the path to the village. It was a silent walk back.

oOo

The moon was high in the sky by the time Kagome managed to slip outside for some fresh air and solitude. Eyeing the mountains that separated the Western Lands from the East she thought of Sesshomaru.

Ever since she'd lain with Inuyasha by the hot spring she'd wondered if he could see her from the afterlife. She figured it was only her guilty conscience playing with her, but she couldn't help the fear that one day he would discover what she'd done.

She'd lain awake, staring wide-eyed at the ceiling until nearly dawn that night before deciding that it could never happen again. As much as she cared for Inuyasha, it wasn't right to use him to take away her pain. He deserved better than that. When he was so earnest in his affections towards her though, it made it very hard to turn him away.

To someone who felt lost and alone his welcoming arms were more than appealing, but she knew with every fibre of her being that it was the wrong course to take.

Kagome turned when Inuyasha stepped outside the hut to join her. She let out a sigh and watched as her warm breath fogged into tiny clouds on the crisp air.

"What'cha' doin' out here?" he asked softly as he leaned his back up against the hut. Kagome shrugged and stared at the snow covered ground.

"Just thinking."

"About him?"

His tone was hard and she winced at the sound of it. It was as if he expected her to simply forget everything she and Sesshomaru had shared, just like that! Out of everyone, she thought he would've understood the most how hard it was to let go of the ones you love, especially after Kikyo.

"Would you be angry if I said yes?" Kagome searched his large brown eyes and was surprised to find his emotions simmering just below the surface.

"Yes," he answered truthfully.

"I've done everything I can to make you happy, to make you forget about the pain, and you still think of him."

When she remained silent he continued on, his voice becoming louder and more determined.

"I love you. I've loved you for a long time, Kagome. I don't know how many more times I'll have to tell you before you finally hear me."

Inuyasha balled his hand into a fist and rapped it against the side of the hut to release his pent up frustration. Kagome let out a low sigh before she replied. She tried to keep her words as gentle as possible; he still had a lot to learn about human emotions.

"Inuyasha…I know you love me and I appreciate everything you've done for me. It's meant so much to have a friend like you right now. But what you want from me…it's not possible. No matter what happens between us I will always love Sesshomaru just as I'll always love you. Nothing can change that. I'm sorry."

She tried to smile at him reassuringly but he looked away from her. His brows drew low over his eyes as he thought over her words. He was determined to win her back no matter what the cost. Finally after a few moments of tense silence he muttered out a single question.

"Kagome, can I ask you something?"

When she nodded he closed the distance between them and caught her around the waist. Tangling his other hand in her hair he pressed her up against the side of the hut in a heated kiss.

She could feel his heart as he pressed his lips against hers, it thrummed in his chest just beneath her palms. His thumb gently caressing her cheek, reminding her of another, and she closed her eyes to imagine...

When he finally pulled away, he kept his hand around her waist and searched her eyes for answers.

"Tell me truth. Can you honestly say you felt nothing?"

Kagome gaped at him as she tried to regain her breath. She hadn't been prepared for a kiss, and certainly not one as passionate as that, even her knees felt weak!

In a time that seemed like centuries ago, she would've given anything for him to kiss her like that. She would've sacrificed her friends and family just to know that he loved her the way she loved him, without Kikyo's shadow hanging over them.

Was it wrong for her to want that again?

Kagome felt her head shake 'no' and was relieved to see a smile break out across his face.

"I knew it! I'm not giving up on us. I'll be as patient as I have to be and someday, someday Kagome, I know you'll come back to me."

She tried to meet his smile with her own, but all she felt was weak.

Why does he have to be so stubborn? I thought that a demon trait!

Inuyasha quickly pressed another kiss to her cheek before heading back inside to join the party. She lingered outside, enjoying the feeling of the cold air against her hot skin. Why couldn't anything ever be easy? Especially when it came to him?

Closing her eyes she counted calmly back from ten and then opened them again. The Western Lands stared back at her and Sesshomaru's memory lingered along with her guilt. Heaving a quiet sigh, she ducked into the comforting warmth of the hut and joined her friends.