Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Gakt ❯ Love is Suicide ( Chapter 16 )

Love is Suicide:

Saturday, three in the morning.

Meri laid on her back on the kitchen floor. The ceiling looked like an endless hole spiraling upwards to nowhere. Kind of how she felt right now. She laughed to herself.

Oh dear me, she thought. Is this what I'm reduced to? A broken doll with no real power? Meri laughed again. Such a waste. Her family worried and prayed for her every night. She shut her eyes.

I miss then so much. How's my younger sister? I miss daddy's bad jokes. Momma would be so heartbroken to see me like this. They would all be so sad if I died.

Meri opened her eyes and glanced around her. Such a mess. Broken glass all over the floor. Smoke and booze reeked through the walls. Gakt punched the mirror near the bathroom trying to punch her frail face. No pictures ever decorated this apartment. Why would they next to the beer stains and holes in the walls? The food stuck to them didn't help either. This morning the whole apartment mirrored her state- trashed at its worst. Meri painfully drew in another breath.

I need some coke, she thought. But then, she paused. There it was again. Her other problem caused by Gakt. Along with beating her, he introduced her to that magic white powder. He pushed her into it. Now like Gakt, coke controlled her like a doll on strings. Who could blame her? When Meri snorted coke, she felt like she had some control left in her life. It made her feel sexy and confident about herself. Alcohol and cigarettes made her feel the same way. Or at least that was the case at first. Overtime even those broke her down too.

Meri shuddered in disgust at herself.

What has happened to me?, she thought. This isn't like me at all! Why didn't I see this coming? Where did this all come from? This isn't me at all! What happened to me?

Meri felt her cheeks get wet. She laughed to herself again.

Am I crying? She laughed harder to herself.

Maybe to Gakt is right. Maybe I am pathetic. Meri shook her head.

I can't take this anymore! I have to get out of this Hell. But where could she go? Gakt wouldn't let her leave. Even if she did escape, he would just drag her back and beat her just like he did last night. Yet, there was a way.

Meri rolled over on her stomach and crawled out of the living room. She couldn't even feel the broken glass underneath her. Gakt put her through enough Hell already. All reason abandoned her. She just one thought in mind.

I have to get out of here! I have to get out of here! I have to get out of here! Meri made it all the way to the back bedroom. She pushed open the door and crawled inside. Her hand reached under the bed as her body gave out. Her fingertips touched cold metal. She could feel herself smiling.

This is it! Meri drew out the handgun and aimed it at herself. Her life before she entered Hell filled her mind. Her childhood, her family, her teachers, her old friends in America. Meri's finger trembled on the trigger. She stared deep into the barrel. Tears streamed down her frail, powdery white face. Everything flashed before her mind.

I wish…

I wish…

I wish… BANG!

10:00 a.m.

Meri's mother, Janie, rushed to the hospital. She found her daughter hooked up to a life support machine in her room. Janie sank to her knees in tears.

“Why?” she moaned. “Did he do this to you? Meri? Meri! Why?!?” There was no answer. At three o'clock on November 26th, Meri died as a result of her self-inflected gunshot wound to her head. She was only seventeen.

Love was Just a Bloodsport