Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Gakt ❯ Love Kills ( Chapter 17 )

Love Kills:

On the other side…

*Meri*

Somehow, I survive my suicide attempt. I awoke to see Momma sitting by my bed. She stared at me with hope.

“Mom… ma…” I murmured. Momma breathed out in relief.

“Meri!” she cried as she hugged me. “You're alive! Thank God!” She wept against my chest. I tried to smile to myself. I'm free. I'm actually free. I survived him.

I wasn't fully fixed yet, however. I still had to recover.

They kept me in the hospital for the rest of November. Daddy and Lucy visited me every day.

“You look rough,” Lucy said. I only nodded at her. Daddy nudged her on the arm.

“Lu, behave!” he whispered.

“But it's true!” she said. I just smiled. It was good to hear their voices again. See their faces. A sense of safe ease filled me. My teachers even came to see me. They looked amazed to see me alive. Everyone I knew came to see me. All except one person.

I didn't see Gakt not once. Not once ever. I wondered why. Probably got bored of me. Or maybe he's waiting. Waiting for me to recover to beat me even more.

I shut my eyes in desperation.

No! I don't want to go back! I don't want to go back there! No! Please, no! No!

“Is there a problem, McKenzie-chan?” I heard someone ask in reality. I quickly looked up. My therapist gave me a strange look. I blinked at her.

“Hm?” I asked. The lady stared back at me.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked. I still didn't understand.

“Yes…” I said. “Where am I? Who are you? Why am I here? What day is it?”

“You are in my office at Yamamoto Clinic,” the woman replied. “I am Doctor Doi. Your parents asked me to help you.” I still tried to grasp the situation. The doc gave me a calm smile.

“It's okay, McKenzie-chan,” she said. “Confusion is normal with gunshot wounds to the head.”

“Gunshot wounds to the…” I mumbled. Suddenly, it all made sense. I had tried to commit suicide to get away from him. I lowered my head in shame.

“I'm so sorry,” I whispered. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm… sorry…” I felt myself crying again. Dr. Doi patted me on the shoulder. I lifted my head at her. She gave me a calm smile.

“It's okay,” she whispered. “He put you in that situation. It's not your fault.” I looked at her with big eyes.

“It isn't?” I asked. The doctor shook her head.

“No,” she said. “None of it is.”

“But, I should have listened to the warnings and…”

“It's not your fault.”

“But…”

The doctor shook her head at me. “It's not your fault.”

I slowly drew my mouth closed at her. “It's not my fault? None of it is?”

“No. it's not your fault.”

I bit my lower lip and lowered my eyes to her other hand. “You're going to have to remind me of that every day.”

Dr. Doi gave me a little smile. “Don't worry. I will help you tell yourself that.”

I spent half of December in therapy picking up the pieces from Gakt. Days before Christmas, I was almost fixed to normal again. However, there was one thing left to do. I doubted I had the backbone to carry this task, but I have to do it.

I don't have a good feeling about this…

Love was Just a Bloodsport