Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Waking Ami ❯ Starting over ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Waking Ami

"Starting over"

Poepah@yahoo.com

Dear Diary,

No matter what I do things just seem to be getting worse. I actually thought that this time would be different. Why should I not have? The dreams especially told me that I would be happy in this new place. Why was that stupid dream not true? I had it eleven times!! That just cannot be coincidence… can it?

I guess I will just have to find happiness for myself, by myself. I am sick of doing things that try to make me fit in with everyone. The truth is though that I am anything but normal. I just cannot connect with people my own age, but at least I have tried to. My peers do not even want to give me a chance.

FINE!! So I am a "snob" am I? I am just that strange little girl who studies all the time. Fine, I do not care anymore! Starting now I am not going to try and fit in anymore. I am going to do what is comfortable for me, and makes me happy. And I could care less what anyone thinks. It just hurts too much to keep trying.

I have been reading through my entries in you through the last five months, it hurts to see how sad and pathetic I sound. All my efforts have been focused on trying to get people to like me. Everything from joining after school clubs, dressing fashionable, I even got contacts!!! I hate contacts. No more. I know this just sounds like an impulse, but just writing it down I feel excited and a little bit liberated. After all people should like me for whom I am right? And if they do not, then that is just there loss.

Reading over what I just wrote sounds so idealistic. In truth I will probably still be lonely and miserable. But at the very least I can look in the mirror and see myself and not some girl that I am pretending to be. Well diary I am going to go start making those changes immediately. I hope mom does not think it is too drastic. She is going to have to help me after all.

April 08 1993

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"Honey are you sure you want to do this?" Ayanee looked down at her daughter for any sighs of hesitation or regret over what she was about to do.

"Absolutely." Ami firmly replied not wavering slightly in her newfound conviction.

"Are you positive?" Ayanee tried to interject a bit of a plea in her question. She really did not want Ami to do this. She was going to support her daughter though, even if she thought she was making a huge mistake. "You know once I do it, you'll be like this for quite some time?"

Ami still stood steadfast not backing down at all. "Yes I am sure mom, please do it." Ami's reply was laced with a bit of exasperation, her patience starting to wear thin after a half hour of the same question.

"Alright" Ayanee let out a short sigh. "Just don't blame me if you don't like it." Finally deciding that her daughter wasn't going to change her mind Ayanee snugly fastened an old sheet around Ami's collar and pinned it in place.

Ami sat impatiently for five minutes as nothing happened. Finally she turned to look at her mother who was holding a pair of shears and nervously chewing her lower lip. "What is wrong mom?"

"I'm nervous." Ayanee stated feeling a little silly and embarrassed.

""Why are you nervous? I am the one who is about to get 13 years worth of hair cut off." Ami sighed preparing herself for another half hour of waiting. "Besides your hair is even shorter than I want mine to be and you look great,"

"I know, it's just that… Honey you always said you liked your hair! And besides I think it's beautiful, why would you want to chop it all off?"

Ami sat up straight to look her mother in the eye. "Mom, I promise that this is what I want. I just kept my hair because it was one of the only things that people liked about me. But to be honest I am indifferent to it. I would rather have a less high maintenance hairstyle. Besides it would be more comfortable and I think it would look really good."

Sighing again Ayanee lifted the shears and began the first cut. "Alright honey, if this will make you happy then I'll give you the best hair cut in the world. I'll have you looking cute in no time."

Ami's breath stilled as she felt the first snip and watched as the first lock of hair fell gently to the ground. Here is the first step. No turning back now.

Both Mizuno's were silent for the next hour as Ayanee carefully cut and styled her daughters hair. Her attention was focused fully on the task at hand. Ami on the other hand was fascinated by watching her long ebony locks pool on the floor beneath her. Ami's thoughts drifted to false hopes that her new outlook would somehow attract people to her. When she realized what she was thinking Ami mentally kicked herself. This is not for them. As much as I would like friends and to feel what I had in the dream, this is not going to accomplish that. This is for me this will make me happy. And I… I do not care what anyone else thinks of it because I know I will love it.

A few snips later and Ayanee was finished. "There I am done." Ayanee chewed her lip as she took a second before fully taking in the finished results.

"Well, mom what do you think? Does it look good?"

Ayanee's face lit up in a smile as she held up a mirror for her beloved daughter to look into. "Personally, I think you look absolutely fantastic."

At her mothers words Ami hesitantly opened her eyes that she unconsciously shut while waiting for an answer. Ami stared transfixed by the image in the mirror. Wow!! "Mom I look completely different." Ami moved her head around a bit reveling in the freedom of movement and absence of excess hair weight. "It feels wonderful."

The younger Mizuno wrapped her arms around her mother's neck in a happy embrace. "Thank you momma." I know it is just a haircut to you, but to me it is the start of the new me.

Thoroughly enjoying the hug Ayanee returned it with a happy laugh. "No problem honey. It turned out fantastic. Just please give me a little time before you make any other drastic changes." Ayanee had said this more out of jest than anything. When she said it however, Ami loosened her hold and became serious.

"Actually mom I was hoping that…"

Eeek!!! I don't know why she wants to do all this but it looks like my little girl is going to be making some major changes. I just hope they all turn out well.

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Two Months Later…

"Congratulations my girl!!" Ayanee's face was lit with an ear-to-ear grin as she playfully rustled her daughter's hair. "Top of your class for the seventh grade! I am so proud, how many parents can say that I ask you?"

The two Mizuno`s were currently on a promised road trip to a rather choice hot spring and bathhouse resort. Ami's pick, mainly for the peace and quiet that it would ensure. Unfortunately she would have to wait until they arrived there for that. As her mother was too excited about her daughter's accomplishment to ever let the subject drop.

Indeed this was a shocker for Ayanee. Ami had always received good marks in school, but had never risen to the point where people would take notice. It's not that Ami couldn't have earned high marks the entire time she was in school, it was that she intentionally "dumbed" herself down to fit in. Ayanee could never figure that out, Ami would always be studying, but was never what you would call a stellar student. Now, however thanks to Ami's new outlook on life fitting in wasn't an issue. Ever since Ami's decided change her grades instantly did a flip-flop from good, to the best in school.

"So, have you given any thoughts for next year?" Ayanee left a hand on Ami's shoulder as she continued the long drive to their vacation spot. "After all it's a very important year, the last before you go to high-school. Of coarse you want to make a good impression."

"What are you getting at mom?" Ami set down the book she was using to drone out her mothers never ending praise. She turned to look at Ayanee interested to find out where this dialog was leading.

Ayanee returned both hands to the steering wheel as she prepared to find out if she had made a huge mistake or not. "Well, It's just that you're always studying anyways. I just figured it would help if you had someone to guide your studies. After all they are very prestigious and I'm sure they can help you get in…"

"Mom!!!"

Ami's shout broke into Ayanee's nervous jumble of thoughts. "What are you trying to say?" The younger Mizuno directed a harsh stare at her mom. She had a fair idea of where this was leading. She just wasn't sure she liked the fact that her mother did it without asking her opinion first.

Ayanee began to nervously chew her lower lip as she prepared to bite the bullet. "I… Well the thing is…Sigh, I took the liberty of signing you up for summer classes at a very prestigious cram school." Ayanee cringed expecting a big reaction from her daughter. She was very surprised when Ami responded calm and collected.

"Honestly, mom I was kind of thinking of asking you to do that. I am a little annoyed that you did not bother to ask me or let me help choose a school." Now Ami began to get a little intrigued. "What school did you sign me up for anyway?"

Happy that Ami was responding well Ayanee quickly dived into this new subject. "Well, It's called Crystal Academy…"

The next hours of the two women's road trip was spent discussing everything known about the school Ami was to attend. Ayanee was happy to find that her daughter was very receptive to the idea. Except that she would have to work overtime to help cover the fees. It took a little time away from them that they normally spent together. But in Ayanee's eyes it was worth it if it would help secure her daughter's future. Gradually the conversation changed to other topics until the Mizuno's finally arrived at their destination.

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"Ami, I had a lot of fun this weekend. It was sooooo relaxing, you picked an excellent location." Ayanee complimented her daughter, as she lay sprawled across their three-cushion couch. Ami sat across from her in front of a coffee table, still picking at the food they had ordered an hour earlier. Ayanee as usual had finished hers within the first few minuets of getting it. Now she was content to just lie down and enjoy her daughters company.

Being able to have this much time together was a rarity. When they had first moved to Juban almost six months ago, Ayanee had to pick up whatever shifts she could to help make ends meet. That usually conflicted with her time with her daughter. It would be even worse now that she was going to have to work more to pay for her daughters extra education. To Ayanee though that was a small price to pay, especially if this extra schooling helped Ami to get into a top-notch high school and then collage.

Ami finally finishing her meal sat up and walked over to where her mom was lounging. "Hey, scoot over." Ayanee raised an eyebrow at her offspring hoping it was intimidating enough that Ami would rethink her direction. Ami replied with a defiant stare. Ayanee chuckled and made enough room for her daughter to lie down beside her.

"Mom?" Ami started after a while of lounging with said person. "How much more time are you going to have to work to pay for the cram school? We do not have much time together as it is and I do not want to never see you."

This was a touchy subject for Ami. One that Ayanee well knew, but did not understand. She knew her daughter had no friends, and that she was the only person Ami could hang out with and talk to. What she couldn't figure out was why? When she was at home, Ami seemed a lot more talkative and outgoing. However whenever she spoke to Ami's teachers they would give a different story. At first Ami was attempting to be outgoing at school. Then around two months ago she just stopped. She made no effort to talk to anyone or otherwise make friends. The only thing she did was sit in her corner desk of the class and study.

"I wish I could say that it won't affect anything. But, for a little while at least we won't be seeing a whole lot of each other." Ayanee saw the sadness and disappointment building in Ami's face. "You will be going to a brand new school though. Think about all the new people you will meet!" Ayanee saw that Ami was starting to get depressed. "Look honey, I know it will be hard. I don't know why you don't have any friends. And, I wish I could spend all my time with you. But, if this will help you to build a better future, to be able to live without all the crap I have gone through, then it will be worth it."

Tears started to form in Ami's eyes as Ayanee pulled her into a tight embrace. "I just want the best for you sweetheart. And gods help me you are going to get it regardless of what I have to do." The elder Mizuno gently stroked her daughter's hair trying to get her to calm down a bit, as tears were now streaming down her face. "It won't be for long Ami. Just for the summer, then we will be able to spend more time together."

"I'll try and take an afternoon off every couple weeks, so we can do something fun together I promise." Ami continued to cry as she just buried her face in her mom's shirt. This last comment not helping, rather hurting the situation. Ami understood this meant she probably would never see her mom except for this one-day. This had happened once before, two moves ago. Ayanee had to work extra to pay for their new car, and Ami literally never saw her with the small exception of a few minuets in the morning if her mom was awake. That was a hard time and Ami was not looking forward to repeating it especially now.

Please Ami don't make this harder than it already is. I know this will be best for you in the long run though so please just go through with it. It's not going to be any easier on me either; you have been so great for me these past months. Without you I never would have been able to keep on going.

Mother and daughter just lie their for the rest of the night drawing strength from each other knowing that this would be the last time in a long time that they would be able to have much time together.

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::BEEP::

::BEEP::

The sounds of an alarm clock echoed throughout the large empty bedroom. The sole occupant stretched a little, almost waking up. The alarm beeped a few more times before the figure reached out to unplug it. That accomplished, they went back to sleep huddled in one of the corners of the room.

Wake up.

The figure once again stirred, this time sitting up. However, after a few seconds of staring at nothing sleep once again claimed the now sitting person.

WAKE UP!!

The figure instantly sprang from the corner with a startled yelp. After a second of reorientation, a trip to the bathroom was quickly in order. After splashing a few handfuls of water in her face Juni was finally awake.

She took a few seconds to examine her reflection in the large mirror that took up over half of her bathroom wall. Juni was a tall woman, almost reaching six feet. She had shoulder length black hair and piercing black eyes that had a narrow sharp look to them. All of Juni's facial features could be easily described as sharp. Her look had a sort of harsh beauty to it, like you would expect her personality to be cold and precise. She easily fit the description of a harsh but sexy schoolmistress. Which in a way she was.

"Y'know you don't have to be so loud in the morning. You could try getting me up gently for a change." Juni mumbled around her toothbrush while she brushed her teeth.

I tried.

"Oh, I'm sorry then." Juni finished her clean up and headed to the kitchen to prepare her breakfast. It took a few minuets to prepare. A bowl of rice, a small fish, and a pile of veggies rounded out the meal.

Why do you continue to eat?

Juni finished her meal, and started to clean up the dishes before she replied.

"Habit, I suppose. Or maybe I just want to feel normal." Finishing her cleanup the young woman walked to her balcony and took a seat on a small rocking chair. It was just a few moments before sunset and Juni wanted to observe it. This was a pleasure she liked to allow herself every morning.

It is a waste of our time. It no longer sustains you, and it makes you waste even more time by having to dispose of it later.

"Yes, but I am not ready to fully abandon human life yet." Juni sat in silence while she watched the sunrise. As always a few tears found their way down the angles of her face. "It's beautiful isn't it?"

Yes. It…

"It what?"

It's something I will never get tired of seeing. Something I never thought I could see again. Juni wiped the tears from her eyes, but remained seated hesitant to give up the view in front of her. Enough, you need to be at work in an hour.

With regret Juni gave up her seat and returned to her apartment to finish getting ready for the day. Thirty minutes later Juni was in her car and heading out of the parking garage. In twenty minutes or less she would arrive at her school. It was the same routine every day seven days a week, one that Juni had easily become accustomed to. Besides, "she" liked it that way.

It was 7:15 when Juni's car pulled into her reserved space behind her crystal academy cram school. Many of the young women's peers were extremely jealous of her success. After all here she was twenty-three years old and she owned a prestigious cram school, a gorgeous luxury car, and her own condo. If she were in their shoes Juni probably would have been too. Except, she knew the price for it all.

"So, do you have any special plans for today?" Juni questioned as she went about turning on the lights in the small gym located in the basement of her academy.

No, we have enough energy to do an extensive workout and we can harvest only two thirds of our normal amount today.

"That's good." Juni replied as she changed into her workout uniform and began to stretch. "I hate to see our students so tired when they leave here. I am surprised that no one has questioned us about it."

Some would have, but I changed their minds when they came to do so.

"You can do that?" Juni questioned, unsure of whether she liked the idea or not.

It expends a good deal of energy, but reading and changing thoughts is not so difficult for one as old as I.

Juni finished the rest of her two-hour workout in silence. For her it was a simple thing that she had grown accustomed to. However, many Olympians would have had a hard time keeping up with what she was capable of. The shower was her next stop. As she was towel drying her hair a thought occurred to her. "Hey, just how old are you anyway?"

I am over two thousand years old.

"Two thousand!!" This awed Juni. Being a teacher she instantly became aware of all the knowledge she could gain from her companion.

No.

"What, why?" Juni questioned, disappointment lacing her words for she knew her companion would not change her mind. She waited for an answer but after a moment she realized she was not going to get one. Sighing, the young teacher took her time to finish drying her hair and dressed for the day.

Today she wore a dark green pantsuit, with black pumps and button up shirt. After she was dressed Juni combed out her hair and thought upon her daily schedule. "Let's see, I have four appointments before noon and classes start at two." Juni tended to speak all her thoughts aloud. Her mind was already crowded enough without having to separate, which thoughts were hers and which were her companions. "And I have three new students today. That fills up my middle to high school class."

Don't forget about the Mizuno girl.

"Right, she's the one who graduated top of her class, correct?"

Yes. I would be interested to see how she would do on some of the national exams.

Juni thought for a moment as she organized all the computers and mini cubicles in her classroom. "Hmmm, there is one in a few days if I am not mistaken."

Correct, It's just a practice exam but it is still graded on a national level.

"True." Juni walked to her private office and took a seat at her desk. She wanted to relax for the half hour before her teachers and first appointment arrived. "Remind me to persuade her to take that."

Your ten-thirty appointment is early.

"Damn, oh well let's get started shall we?" With that Juni left to unlock the front doors ready to start another day.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES

I will explain Juni's companion later. I am taking a much more different approach to them this time around. The main cast of this story will be Ami/Juni with Ayanee and Makoto as strong supporting characters. Usagi, Mamoru, Luna, and Fiore will make appearances in the last few chapters.