Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ Ataru's Onihood... ❯ Chapter 3: To test the 'Son-in-law' ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: I don’t own Urusei Yatsura. UY belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, VIZ and some such.
“Spoken”
-Thought-
*Sound FX*

Urusei Yatsura: Ataru’s Onihood…

Chapter 3: To test the ‘Son-in-Law’

First thing he became aware was the pain, he was feeling like had been run over by a truck… incidentally he had been run over by a truck but damn, it hadn’t hurt like this before. The second feeling that hit him was the itching, his scalp itched… his mouth itched and his fingernails itched. The third thing that he became aware of was that he was feeling things below the neckline, something that filled him with joy, or would have had he not been hurting so much. As such he only groaned instead of jumping around in delight.

The groan brought a frazzled looking girl right into his arms. “Darling… how are you feeling.” Ataru really tried to say something but the fact that he was being crushed by an embrace and the other fact that his mouth and throat felt like the Mojave desert, made him fail. After several tries he managed a croak/groan of “Whadder.” which the Oni princess luckily understood. After several mouthfuls he was able to talk but noticed to his own dismay that there was no-one else in the room.

Soon after Lum returned with the doctor in tow, a doctor who after checking several readouts from the machines to which Ataru was connected to boggled at his patient. “Well… Moroboshi-san. It would seem that you are indeed recovering well. I must say that I have never seen such an extraordinary speed with which my patients recover. The re-engineering of your DNA to match Oni DNA was quite the success and the following operation to begin repairing the damage to your back was… I must say you recover faster than any other patient I have ever treated or even heard off…”

Lum added a helpful “Darling has always been quick to recover from almost anything” to the conversation before the Doctor continued. “Indeed, well judging by the current readouts it might be possible for you to leave tomorrow even. I must again commend you on your abilities… it’s only been three days and you are almost up to norm. As for the itching I’m sure you are feeling, it will pass in a few days. Other than that I’ll see you first thing tomorrow morning. Oh and I’ll release these restraints now, just please make sure you won’t move around too much until I give you the permission, it’ll further speed the recovery.”

After the doctor had left there was an awkward silence that stretched for several moments. Moments, during which Ataru noticed how tired Lum seemed to be. Tentatively he asked. “Lum… when was the last time you slept?” A question which went unanswered for some time until Lum finally answered that she hadn’t slept since before Ataru’s accident. Ataru blinked at this and then steeled his resolve and scooted over to the other side of his bed to make some room before stating. “You are going to get your Alien butt here and get some sleep… it wouldn’t do for me to be released tomorrow if you fall asleep on the instant. Is this understood Lum…chan.”

Any and all objections were overridden by Ataru as he practically forced Lum into the bed. Not in a bad way mind you, but he wasn’t about to let little things like ‘I give off electricity when I sleep’ and some such deter him. He had after all, during a moment of weakness, said that he really did care for the alien pest… errr princess and he wasn’t about to go back on his word. Besides he really couldn’t sleep peacefully if Lum was not doing the same thing, a pathetic human weakness of his.

-----

The next day began with a crackle of electricity, but contrary to the usual Ataru wasn’t affected by it in a bad way, instead he felt more than slightly good after receiving a healthy amount of ‘Zaks’ from Lum who was apparently having a bad dream or what not. What really surprised him was the fact that the crackling of electricity didn’t fade but rather there was an incessant tugging at his hand and when he began to concentrate on it a small spark of lightning electricity formed between his fingers. Blinking at the phenomenon he tried again, this time causing his entire hand to blaze with crackling electricity, without thinking he put his hand on Lum and discharged a large amount of electricity that made the Oni girl writhe in her sleep.

A mumbled “Mhhhhh Darling… Harder!!” caused a borderline nosebleed on Ataru, who snickered after mastering his boiling blood… apparently he had the same nice electric ability that Lum had instead of turning into a cow-tiger like Rei. Moreover it seemed that electric shocks didn’t hurt anymore, rather they felt more than slightly… nice. After a quick scratching of his head, that revealed two newly formed horns, Ataru was feeling more than a little content. -Being an Oni is probably better than I realized… and Lum looks so cute when she sleeps, I wonder if…-

His musings were interrupted by the awakening Lum who immediately began to stare at him, only to quickly give a slight hug and whisper “I’m so happy Darling… you might get out today.” Lum’s mood brightened further when Ataru explained, and showed for that matter, his newfound powers over electricity. Her mood was catching and soon Ataru found himself skipping in the hallway attempting to fly, a skill that deviously eluded him even after almost half an hour of practice. Why, he even kept smiling after Lum announced that they were going to meet her parents.

Soon after the smile was absent on Ataru’s face. There had been several conflicting signals coming from Lum’s parents… Lum’s mother had happily spouted her ‘Alienese’ gibberish that Ataru had only understood the part about happy, Lum and Ataru. Then she had hugged him and whisked Lum off to somewhere a moment later. Lum’s father, the Oni Warlord Invader, had been entirely different. He had continuously glared at Ataru while being only marginally civil… that was until the ladies left the vicinity, after that he’d been downright hostile.

Currently Ataru was being hung by the front of his, new ‘Oni-style’ tiger-striped, clothing by the murderous looking Warlord. He got a nice view of the intimidating fangs that mr. Invader sported and subconsciously poked his own, quite underdeveloped, fangs that had been growing since the ‘onification’ process. Lum’s father glared at the boy he was dangling in his massive fist. “Now then… Moroboshi… You are an Oni now, thus you are my underling and therefore I will now test you to see if you are fit enough to continue to court my daughter…” Ataru swallowed, he really didn’t even want to think about what would happen should he argue about not wanting to marry Lum.

-----

The alien princess in question was still red with embarrassment. Her mother, after meeting with ‘Darling’ had dragged her back to the hospital where she’d been given a contraceptive shot by a couple of smiling nurses, wished well by them and told to take it easy in the bedroom. All this while her own mother was there adding her own input into the conversation. Lum still hadn’t gotten over the shock, not with her mother sitting right next to her and handing her the Oni version of ‘Kama Sutra’ and giving all sorts of useful tips in the bedroom… seriously it made her slightly sick, also it made her worried about ‘Darling’ who was right now somewhere with her father… what kind of nonsense would her father spout to ‘Darling’

The question was answered when there was a loud crash accompanied by a cloud of dust as one Moroboshi Ataru came crashing through the wall. He stood up on shaky feet, cradling his left arm which was obviously, judging by the unhealthy angle it was in and the trickle of blood that was falling from it, broken. Ignoring the loud yells of “Darling… what happened” and “¤×®??ÄÈÝ ?????v?¤??” Ataru ran back out from the hole he had just made, there were several yells and a loud crash, after which Lum’s father came in carrying the limp form of Ataru.

He smiled apologetically before flashing a fanged grin. “I’ll just take him to the hospital… nothing to worry about, only a broken arm… few ribs and all that. All in all he did pretty well so I guess I’ll allow the engagement officially then. He might even make a decent Oni after all… what with the fighting spirit and all.”

-----

Ataru woke up in the hospital for the second time that day, only this time there was no Lum sleeping next to him. Instead he was met with a fanged grin from none other than the Warlord Invader, Lum’s father and the very same guy who had sent him to the damn hospital. Oddly enough the large Oni seemed to be friendly, almost exceedingly so, and kept talking about the comings and goings of Planet Uru and the galaxy in general while the doctor fitted an odd see-trough cast on Ataru’s forearm.

After the pair left the hospital Ataru was once more taken back by an almost gruff sounding question. “What are your intentions towards my daughter now… Ataru-kun?” To say that he was floored was an understatement, the guy had been prepared and willing to rip him into pieces only an hour earlier and now he was pretty much the good daddy, looking out for his daughter.

The newly ‘Onified’ Ataru tried to think of something witty to say but failed and instead decided to go with what had been bothering him since well… some time now. “Umm… I really don’t want to marry Lum just yet I mean… we’re just in High School and all that. Besides I understand that Oni live longer than humans so… err, we have time right?” There was a certain darkening aspect of the larger man’s face that made him continue in haste. “And I mean I don’t… know about Oni errr… customs so how do you ask a girl to… you know, marry you?. In Earth we date and stuff, then get engaged and so on.”

With the last part the protective father turned into ecstatic ‘grandfather-wannabe’ and dragged Ataru towards a Oni jewellery shop. When inside he bellowed in a loud voice. “Engagement rings for my son-in-law here and my daughter Lum.” before Ataru could utter a word. In the end Ataru had finally managed to get his own voice known, not in much other extent than actually getting a say in what the rings actually looked like though. After the rings were given to Ataru he was immediately dragged off again by the Oni Warlord who stopped after some time at a ‘Pop-a-house’ apartment seller.

Several hours later Ataru was seriously feeling cornered, he’d been forced to choose rings, apartment and the interior decorations of the said apartment… not to mention the lot into which the apartment would be deposited. Invader-san had promised to buy the appropriate lot from Tomobiki so that Ataru and Lum could start living off as a couple right off the bat. He also gave several rather ‘insinuating’ advices towards dealing with moody Oni women…

A/N: the “¤×®??ÄÈÝ ?????v?¤??” was my attempt to depict the ‘alienese’ that Lum’s mother speaks… It was depicted with Mah-Jong symbols in the Manga but I tried to make due with MS. Word…