Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ The straight, the gay and the bi ❯ Scene four ( Chapter 4 )

Scene four

Joanna and crew are moseying on through the desert. They pass cactuses, tumbleweeds, various exotic animals, and the occasional palm tree. There, in the horizon, an intricate little western town began to take form- delightful buildings, tall-massed ships- and then receding into the distance is the fantastic sea.

Behind the wagon trail, a clopping sound of hooves is heard rising above a sand dune. Joanna thinks to herself, "we're on soft sand, there are no clops from our horses..."

The whole operation stops as everyone turns to see... Gary, banging two empty halves of cocoanut together to make a hoof sound. He looks dreadful- sunburned, deathly thirsty, and exhausted.

"What in the name of all that doesn't belong in an asylum are you doing?!" cries Dilandau.

"My wife always threatened to leave me if I lost any more money. Deputy Amanda lost me forty-five cents yesterday, on account of not paying for her ice cream. As it turns out, all of my wife's threats were empty... she didn't leave, she kicked me out! She told me, `Gary, you better git on that horse of yers and ride yer arse straight outta town... while you still can.' Yup. That's what she said," recounts the ever-pathetic Gary.

Joanna rubs her temples in annoyance. "So you got on your horse?"

"No! She told me after that I couldn't have Kush!"

"No way! You called your horse Kush? Chesta just called his new sheep Kush!" cries Gatti.

"It's a real popular name in Sudan, you know. Ever since the name was changed to Northern Sudan!" says Dalet matter-of-factly, an index raised.

Joanna glares at them, and they silence themselves. She continues, "you look awful. You have been wandering aimlessly through this desert, dying of thirst and growing ever more exhausted..."

"Yeah! And think of how much energy you'd conserve if you weren't making horse hoof noises with those cocoanut shells!" says Dilandau.

"Yeah well, I missed my Kush." Gary wines.

"Wow... someone doesn't have any class!" mutters Joanna, folding her arms across her chest.

Gary suddenly exclaims angrily, "I'm sorry, did you just say I was a pain in the ass!?!"

"No, I said you have no class."

"Oooohhh! ...... oh... well, that's much worse." sobs Gary, looking at the sandy desert ground in defeat.

The wagon trail moves on, leaving Gary standing sadly in the desert all alone, looking at his cocoanuts, wishing they were his faithful horsey, Kush.

Meanwhile...

"So, yeah, a ranch," says Amanda.

"A ranch?!" questions Julie.

"A ranch." Amanda nods.

"Well there is only one ranch in town!" Julie narrows her eyes, looking in the direction of Dilandau's ranch.

"No, Sheriff Jules, there are five ranches."

"Yes, I know, but the biggest one is Dil's, and.... oh now you ruined the moment."

Finally, after pouting, Sheriff Jules visits Dilandau's Ranch, only to find that no one is there... except Chesta.

"So Chesta... whatcha doin'?" she asks.

Tending to his sheep, he replies, half distracted, "I am tending to my sheep."

"Oh. I see. Um, where is Dilandau?"

"Oh! They all went to the next town over to pick up some more sheep! I can't wait!"

"Well, that seems honorable and virtuous," says Julie thoughtfully. "It must be some other ranch." She pauses for a long time in thought. "Well," she declares finally, "gotta go!"

While Julie is interrogating owners of the other ranches, Joanna is passing the crew through the cargo checks.

"Look, I'm the Sheriff's #1 Debuty of Apoletta- the next town over. There is very secret merchandise aboard, and they sent me so no one would get suspicious."

"Sounds good to me," said the coast-guard guy.

"Arr!" said the captain in agreement. "Be ye Dilandau a' Apoletta?"

"Yup!"

"I be havin' sumthin' fer ya! A package from or' the Big Blue. Them that sent it to ye said to tell ya, "if ye don't send the goods, ye'll be sarry!"

"I think I understood you. Uh... thanks." Dilandau takes the package and walks away, shredding the rapping. "We're rich! Let's go buy a heap of sheep!"

And so they selected ten premium racing sheep, preparing for the Annual Apoletta Sheep Race!

It was going to be great.