Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ I Hate Him ❯ You're nobody till somebody loves you ( Chapter 16 )

Disclaimer: All characters and belong to WeiB Kruez and Koyasu Takehito…

The clock was impossibly loud in the silence of the living room. Every second was being echoed with a small mechanical click that was driving Aya up the wall. He couldn't stand the sound of the clock anymore! He would give anything to force the mocking tick-tock out of his ears. It was laughing at him for being such a pathetic idiot for getting into situations like this. He should have said something. Why didn't he say anything to Yohji?!

"Ran, are you all right?" Aya-chan asked in concern, breaking through his thoughts. Aya shook his head automatically, even though it was a blatant lie. He was miserable between Sebastian and Aya-chan on the couch. He would prefer to get the hell out of the living room. Aya had been in the kitchen with Yohji only a moment ago, and now he was gone out the door without a glance back. He had abandoned Aya to his sister and her horrible boyfriend. He should have gone to the door with Yohji. He should have begged Yohji to ignore the door and stay with him, so Sebastian wouldn't get any wrong ideas. He didn't care how pitiful it was. He wished Yohji were here.

Yohji had been with him only a minute ago. They had been planning what was for dinner and, as usual, getting into an argument. Having a dinner with Yohji wasn't as abhorrent as Aya would have thought it would be. He had changed quite a bit, actually desiring to have someone around him. He had even been ready to ask Yohji what he would want, more than willing to cook it for him. Aya wanted to eat with only Yohji. The thought of eating at the same table as Sebastian made him sick, nor did he feel like cooking enough for four people including Aya-chan. Ken and Omi should be left to fare for themselves since it was their own damn fault for being late. That was how Aya saw the dinner plan.

Yohji thought he was wrong. Yohji had said he should make something for everyone because it would be 'the nice thing to do.' The blonde had reminded Aya that Ken and Omi had taken care of him when he had been bedridden, brining up the sore point that months ago Aya couldn't walk unaided. He couldn't even believe that of all people, it would be Yohji teasing him about needing to be helped by those two sex freaks. Aya had made it clear he didn't like to talk about it. He didn't like to remember being stuck in Yohji's bed, staring at the ceiling all day long until he finally couldn't stay away any longer. And then the nightmares would come.

"What the hell do I have to thank them for? Look at me!" Aya roared as he slammed the cookbook down on the table. He turned and grabbed a fistful of Yohji's shirt with his other hand, furious at the suggestion. Didn't the blonde see the shitty nurse-job the three had done? He had seen Aya naked, something that he had swore to never let happen again when he quit. Except Yohji asked him to.

Yohji could see past all the clothing to the pink, mending cuts and half-healed scars. He knew how ugly Aya was and didn't say a word. Instead, Yohji seemed to think the right thing to do was lie to him and say he was 'beautiful.' How could anyone say that about him now? Of all people, why was it Yohji who had to say it? The one person he could almost believe completely.

Yohji didn't even seem to care about his outburst, looking past Aya to studied at his hand, his eyes burning as he looked at the fingers clenched around the pages, Yohji was staring at his wrist in a way that made Aya feel like he was completely naked. He let go of Aya's shirt and cookbook at the same time before fumbling the sleeves of his shirt down over his fingers. Yohji's gaze felt like acid, burning through the fabric that use. He didn't want to be stared at any more, didn't want another person to leer at him.

"Aya," Yohji started, his voice soft and cool despite Aya's outburst. One hand reached up and circled around his forearm. Reluctantly, Aya dropped the grip he had in Yohji's shirt to look down at the floor in embarrassment as Yohji pulled him off. He had attacked the playboy for no reason at all. It was all Yohji's fault refusing to get really angry anymore. He was starting to find enjoyment even in their arguments. There was nowhere left to run from Yohji.

"Yohji, what are you doing to Ran?" Aya-chan yelled from the doorway, like it had been Yohji who had been screaming mad only moments ago. Aya jumped at the voice, separating from Yohji in embarrassment. He had meant to keep their relationship a secret, knowing that she wouldn't approve of him being… gay. She didn't think it was natural and he had nothing to argue that with. He just didn't want her to fight with Yohji or tell him that the playboy wasn't good enough. He… He wouldn't be able to talk to her.

She must have come downstairs while Aya had been concentrating on taking Yohji down a notch. Why couldn't he ever notice anything else when he was with the playboy? When Yohji walked into the room, he was all Aya could focus on. Aya-chan didn't understand that. He couldn't stand it when she and Yohji fought. He felt like he was going to have to chose a side, and he couldn't weigh out who meant more, Aya-chan or Sebastian. There should have been no hesitation. Aya-chan had always come first.

Sebastian put an arm over Aya-chan's shoulder, suddenly making his appearance as well. Aya wanted to cut that arm off. How dare Sebastian ruin his sweet little sister?! Aya-chan had been a completely different person before Sebastian had come along to taint her. Now, Aya didn't know how he could bring his familiar sister back. She seemed so very far away. He had lost her because he had become such a horrible person.

"Are you molesting him in the kitchen?" Aya-chan demanded in English, knowing her brother wouldn't understand it. Aya didn't see why she felt like she could only speak to Sebastian and Yohji. Why didn't she say it in Japanese, so he would know? Sebastian chuckled at it, nodding to her in encouragement as he squeezed her shoulder, telling Aya-chan she was doing the right thing. The blonde blinked at her in surprise before opening his mouth to say something no doubt less than complimentary.

"Aya-chan, stay out of this!" Aya snapped at her, not wanting his sister to stick her nose into things. It would only get her feelings hurt. She didn't know just how fine of line she was treading with Yohji. Aya could tell that Yohji was barely managing to stay silent, all because he knew that if Aya-chan were hurt, Aya would feel bad as well. Yohji had been trying to shut up for Aya's sake, but the man was ready to turn around and take Aya-chan's head off if she didn't learn to keep her mouth shut.

Aya knew that Aya-chan was giving him a pained look, disbelieving that her brother would be so curt with her. So, he stared down at the floor instead of having to look her in the eye. He wasn't able to see her face to face anymore. He was too ashamed of what she knew. How could Aya-chan even stand to be in the same room with him, much less try to defend him from what she thought was a lecherous boyfriend? He wasn't worth such a selfless and loving sister.

It was then that the doorbell for the shop rang loudly in the hallway. Aya jumped at the unexpected noise and felt like melting into the floorboards when everyone looked at him. Aya was sick to death of everyone in the room, wanting nothing more than a chance to run away from them all. Yohji cursed, knowing that it must be the window-repair man Aya had called earlier this morning.

It was Aya's fault for being so stupid and letting it happen in the first place. He should have been able to do something, anything that could have handled the situation better. Why hadn't he noticing something was wrong earlier? Were his instincts that damaged, that he could sense a threat coming up from behind? He should have never gotten Yohji involved in it. If he had managed to avoid that knee, Yohji wouldn't have felt like he needed to risk getting shot so he could rescue Aya.

Yohji went to answer the door, leaving Aya alone in the kitchen with Aya-chan blocking the way the stairs and Sebastian lounging in front of the back door. Aya stared at the blonde's back, trying to find an excuse that wouldn't sound like a desperate wish for Yohji to stay. He didn't want to be alone with Sebastian. Not with Aya-chan. They didn't understand him anymore.

At least Yohji would say something that would make Aya nearly laugh out loud because it was so rude and honest. That way he wouldn't have to be afraid of the look Sebastian was shooting his way. Aya felt like he might be sick as they all looked at each other around the kitchen. Aya didn't say anything, sending a warning glare to Sebastian. At least he was in the kitchen and could grab a knife if need be. Aya would enjoy showing exactly how skilled he was with a blade, but he'd rather have Yohji in here with him. Yohji wouldn't let anything happen to him.

"Ran, Ran, come sit on the couch and talk a bit," Aya-chan begged, stepping toward him in excitement with an open smile. His breathing quickened as she didn't stop at an appropriate distance from him for a conversation but kept on coming. Aya-chan was going to run into him, touch him, and it wasn't Yohji and the world was swirling away as Aya took one step back to get away.

"We haven't talked in so long," Aya-chan said, or was it a different voice, familiar and male from Aya's memories? She looped her elbow around his before Aya managed to move through the sudden panic and rip his arm away. He staggered back, trying to get enough room to breath and gain back his senses. He couldn't even tell which way was up as Aya-chan stared down at his missing arm.

"Ran, what's… wrong?" Aya-chan asked in a frightened, unsteady voice as she stared at him. He ignored her, glancing around the room wildly until he heard someone sniff from the door. Where… Where was Yohji? He vaguely remembered the door ringing, but it didn't matter. Yohji had left him alone and there shouldn't be anyone else in here but Aya's sister.

He swirled on Sebastian frozen in the middle of scratching at his nose, his eyes wide as Aya's gaze latched onto him. Male. Stranger. Threat. Why did fuck Yohji have to leave right now? Aya put one hand up to his face to hide him biting his lower lip until it bled. That little sharp tang in his mouth brought Aya back to his wits, focusing on the pain and the taste of blood. He was back in control. He wasn't frightened of Sebastian. He had been decked twice since entering their house. No reason to get so scared.

"Let's go into the living room," Aya agreed after he swallowed the blood in his mouth and licked his lips clean. It wouldn't do for Aya-chan to see how upset he was. Aya rushed ahead through the doorway before his sister so she would be behind him instead of Sebastian. Aya-chan wasn't going to suddenly attack him from behind. She was still his little sister after all. It was her boyfriend that might try something.

They said nothing as Aya lead the way to the couch. What could there possibly be to talk about? I'm sorry for being such a failure. He didn't want to say such in front of Sebastian, but they were the only words he could think of for his sister. Aya-chan sat down on the edge of the couch, leaving either the middle or the other side open.

Ran felt his heart freeze in his chest as he realized he would have to sit next to Sebastian. He didn't want to be touched and he wished Sebastian ever even existed. Why didn't Aya-chan see this? He sat down awkwardly in the middle before Sebastian could try to sit there. At least he could have Aya-chan on one side. He wouldn't dare try anything if she could see it. It still left his right side completely vulnerable to the male model. Why wasn't Yohji coming back in?

Aya should have counted on the one time he actually wanted Yohji to come in and be worrying too much about him, the blonde wouldn't be anywhere in sight. Aya would feel insulted later Yohji thought he needed protection if it meant be rescued from this silence. No one was speaking as they all awkwardly settled on the couch. He hated how Aya-chan wasn't saying a word. He despised the sound of Sebastian breathing.

That brought him back to the new irritation of the clock counting their lives away. Aya wanted to tear it off the wall and throw it out the window but was too afraid that if he moved, one of them would touch him to hold him down. So, Aya sat there silently between the both of them, looking at his clenched hands on his knees. This was the last place he wanted to be.

"So, Ran, have you been writing?" Aya-chan asked innocently. It was like she was rubbing salt in his most personal, secret wounds. He could he possibly try to write after everything he had done? His words weren't even worth the paper he put them on. Aya wished he could find some kind of relief in writing, but the few times he had managed to get so far as to holding a pen he would start to feel sick. Writing was impossible for him now.

"No," he answered coldly. He didn't want them to go any further on that subject. Aya-chan looked at him with unbelieving eyes that her brother was so curt. Could she expect anything else? Aya wouldn't explain his true feelings with Sebastian leering at his ear. He felt like the shit-head was undressing him with his eyes and Aya-chan didn't see a thing on the opposite side of Aya.

"Why not? You had such lovely poems," Aya-chan questioned while Sebastian sniffed and turned his head away in disinterest as Aya didn't look up from his hands. He wouldn't give the bastard the satisfaction of spooking him. Aya wouldn't be intimidated to continue a conversation he clearly didn't want to have. He didn't have any reason to answer that question, not in front of Sebastian.

The silence came again as Aya-chan waited patiently for him to say something. Sebastian cracked his knuckles in the silence, lacing all his fingers together and popping the joints with a stretch. Aya looked down at his own ruined hands. If he were to stretch right now, it would show a glimpse of the silvery pink skin around his wrists hidden underneath the sleeves right now. Aya did not want to get into that with Sebastian. Ever. He would kill Sebastian if the man got the faintest clue as to what his last night job had been.

So, Aya stayed still and tense on the edge of the couch, refusing to relax back into the cushions. He just couldn't without Yohji there. He was afraid of what Aya-chan and Sebastian might try to do if he finally gave up and tried to have a nap on the couch. That kind of weakness left a bad taste in his mouth. Aya couldn't remember ever feeling the need to nap before, but he was so damn tired all the time. Aya got so worn down that he felt like he couldn't even move anymore. Life was a sickening waste of effort, except for the times when Yohji laughed and called him names affectionately. No one else. No one had done that before.

"I don't want to be here," Aya couldn't help the words from slipping out. Aya-chan didn't even hear him, his voice so low he was merely mouthing the words. Sebastian couldn't understand Japanese anyway He felt it like a physical pain in his chest. He wanted to go find Yohji and hold on for dear life. It was that or beating the living shit of Sebastian. He couldn't bear it anymore. He should be Yohji.

"We're home," Omi cried out and Aya looked up quickly, gratefully. The boy trotted into the living room and stopped in front of the coffee table, looking tired but happy. Aya launched up and dodged Aya-chan's knees to get away from the couch. So he could escape from them. Omi laughed and scratched at his messy hair as Aya came over to 'welcome' Omi back home.

It was more like putting a physical barrier between him and Sebastian. Sebastian wouldn't be able to try anything if he had the boy in front of him. Except, Aya was already past Omi and was taking more steps toward the door leading to the shop. He couldn't stop now that he had already gotten away from the couch. He should really go check on Yohji… or some lie like that. Anything else than admitting he couldn't stand the thought of being his own sister without Yohji.

"Whoa, there," came Ken's voice from behind and Aya slammed into an unexpected body in his rush to get of the room. A strong hand caught Aya's arm and steadied him while Aya felt like the hand was burning through the shirt and hurting him. He didn't like to be touched, not by Ken. The brunette could see right through Aya's act and could tell he escape them all. Ken recognized the fear all over his face.

Aya could have cried with the shame.

* * *

"Whoa, there," Ken warned as Aya backtracked out of the living room, seeing that the redhead wasn't paying attention. Apparently it wasn't enough because Aya collided with Ken, one hand automatically thrown on Ken's chest to balance himself. He caught Aya's arm before the staggering redhead had a chance to fall, knowing that he shouldn't try to touch Aya but instinctively grabbing for him to prevent a tumble down.

Aya looked up from under the curve of his bangs with stark fear visible at Ken. Aya ducked his head immediately, trying to hide his eyes from him but one look had already been enough. Something had upset Aya, badly. Ken let go of Aya's arm and took a step back, knowing that it would be better to give the redhead his space right now. Aya didn't like people to be concerned over him, even if he had nearly fallen on his ass.

"Ran, where are you going?" Aya-chan's voice asked from the living room. She might as well have shot Aya for how he jumped and swirled around; much more surprised than Ken had ever seen him act before. Ken looked in to see Sebastian and Aya-chan sitting on the couch innocently with Omi staring at Aya in confusion. What the hell had they done to Aya? The man was all but outright fleeing from the room.

"Heh, boy, am I hungry. Hey, Omi, aren't you hungry? Aya-chan, Sebastian, let's take you out for a dinner before you leave," Ken laughed loudly as Aya stared at him in confusion. It was the only way he could think of to get Aya-chan and Sebastian a good distance the fuck away from Aya. It was easy to see that they had upset Aya somehow. He didn't run from rooms and into other people.

"Yeah, I'm starving, let's go," Omi laughed, catching on quickly to Ken's plan. The boy clapped at Sebastian and Aya-chan as the two lamely rose from opposite ends of the couch and walked around the coffee table. Aya gave Ken a look of deep gratitude as Omi led Aya-chan and Sebastian out of the living room before they even realized Ken and Aya were staying behind.

"Did he do anything to you?" Ken asked when the room had cleared, wondering if he needed to kill Sebastian or not. Aya looked up into Ken's face in a bit of shock that Ken was asking him such a question. Or maybe it was surprise that anyone cared enough to come to his defense. Yohji had told Ken that Aya felt worthless but he couldn't understand why. Ken didn't know how anyone, especially someone as incredible as Aya, could think that he didn't deserve people caring about him.

"What are you talking about? Go to dinner," Aya snapped, pointing at the door. It wasn't a 'yes' or 'no' it was the Aya Special: avoid the question entirely. Ken frowned, wanting to push the question but knowing Aya wasn't the type to give out under interrogation. No matter how hard Ken tried, Aya would never willingly answer his questions until pain of death if he didn't want to.

"Tell Yohji we went to dinner," Ken asked Aya before he turned to leave the room. He could send Aya in Yohji's direction, knowing that if anything had really gone wrong with Sebastian Aya would talk to Yohji. The older man would be able to get Aya to tell him what was wrong in a second. Ken was felt just starting to get to Aya, who he had lived with and worked with for years now. He was ashamed that it had taken it this long to get around to it. Aya seemed to want to be alone, so Ken had stupidly let the man be.

Ken walked out of the house feeling like he had been defeated somehow. He didn't know how, but he felt like Aya had come out victorious on that little run around. He should have shook Aya until the thin man told him what the hell had been going on lately. But, since he had decided to play hero he was stuck with having dinner with Aya-chan and Sebastian after a long drive. They had just gotten back from the lake and he had been looking forward to Omi cooking, but that was blown to hell.

Ken had decided to be brilliant and drag them out of the house so Aya would wipe that pained look off of his face. It hurt Ken to see Aya not even be able recognize him when he was so far in his terror. All Ken could figure out was that he had to get Sebastian and Aya-chan away from Aya before he broke into tears. And damned if Ken even knew why.

"I guess Ran isn't coming?" Aya-chan asked sadly in Japanese as her brother failed to make an appearance after Ken. He wondered why Aya-chan didn't want Sebastian to not know that she was asking about her brother, since she had decided to say it in Japanese. How could she look disappointed that Aya wasn't coming when she was one of the people he had been running from?

"He's really… tired," Ken lied, unable to think of anything else. Even Omi frowned at the excuse. How could he even try to lie when it was so painfully obvious that Aya didn't want to go? Ken would have thought she would have figured that out Aya flashed that scared expression around the living room at his sister and her boyfriend. Whenever Aya looked like that, it meant Aya wasn't going to be leaving the house for a while and was seeking Yohji if not already by his side.

"Well, where are we going?" Sebastian demanded impatiently in English next to Aya-chan. Ken sighed, not having thought that far yet in his plan. He wasn't very particular to where they went. Ken could usually find something that would agree with him. Aya-chan and Sebastian were definitely picky eaters. But in the end, Ken would pick whatever Omi wanted. He would eat somewhere that made Omi happy as his first choice any day.

"Well, what do you want, Sebastian?" Aya-chan asked while Omi opened his mouth to suggest something as well. The boy glared at her for interrupting but was too polite to actually say anything. Ken could have slapped Aya-chan for putting Sebastian's opinion above everyone else's. Sebastian was an ass!

"I want to try a nice, perfectly awful Japanese hamburger," Sebastian demanding in English, insulting Ken's country's ability to put a circle of cooked meat on a bun. Sebastian obviously had no clue to the extravagant meals and mixed tastes that could come out of a good Japanese dinner. Making a stupid hamburger was a breeze for them. Omi made great hamburgers, too!

Omi noticed the insulted look in Ken's eyes and grabbed him by the elbow before Ken even realized he was going forward. He had launched forward to punch Sebastian again. The first one had just been so satisfying that eh couldn't help but try again. Omi looked up at Ken with an angry expression on his usually cute face, not at all pleased with Ken being so easily stirred up into violence.

"Well, I know a place. Why don't Ken-kun and I go on my bike and Aya-chan with Sebastian-kun on his bike?" Omi suggested. There was no way the three of them were squeezing into the truck or either of Aya and Yohji's cars was able to fit four comfortably. They could leave Sebastian behind, but that would defeat the whole purpose of getting the European away from Aya.

"Sounds like a good idea," Aya-chan agreed before she translated the dinner plans to Sebastian. The model looked away from them, nodding thoughtful as Aya-chan told him what they had been talking about as if it was very important and serious. She finished whatever she was telling Sebastian and stood back on her heels, smiling. Sebastian nodded and was already trotting to the garage to get the bike ready, reminding Ken of a pet dog.

"Hey, wait, you're driving?" Ken yelled as he realized exactly what Omi had suggested. How had it wound up him riding behind Omi? Did they not just have the discussion about Omi's lousy driving skills? Ken refused to ride with Omi ever again. Hadn't this been made quite clear? Ken intended to stay living for a long time and he wasn't risking it by letting Omi drive.

"Oh, Ken-kun, you've been driving all day long. I thought you might want a break," Omi said with his characteristic concern and thoughtfulness for others. Ken scratched the back of his head as he deliberated on what he should do. He really didn't want to let Omi drive, but the boy had been thinking of him in the first place. It would be pretty rude to throw that back in the boy's face. But, it wasn't a big deal to take his bike instead as well. He could drive on his bike forever. It was being stuck in a car that made him sick.

"Sure, why not?" Ken sighed, knowing that sometimes one just had to deal with things. Omi was doing this for him and it would be rude to tell the boy 'no.' If Ken drove his motorcycle next to Sebastian they just might end up starting to race. Ken didn't want to start something like that with Omi and Aya-chan behind them both. They'd be left to hang on for dear life, and he got the feeling that Sebastian wouldn't be too concerned about losing Aya-chan. Ken would feel bad if she died in a motorcycle accident he had a hand in.

Aya-chan hit the button for the garage door to open as Ken and Omi waited outside. Ken kicked at the ground, wishing that it were Sebastian's face instead of gravel as he looked away from Omi moodily. Damn Sebastian for ruining such a good move. Ken had thought he was being rather genuine and selfless right then by giving up a home cooked meal by Omi and a relaxing evening at home after a long day, and that English shit-head had come along and ruined it.

"Whatever, asshole," Ken snapped back in English, hoping that would be the last moment. Omi gasped and suddenly remembered to dig his keys out of his left pocket. The garage door continued to rise, revealing Aya-chan's black Capri-covered knees as the girl stood next to Sebastian's tight jeans, brushing back her hair just right so she could tuck it under her helmet. Ken felt a tinge of regret, reminded suddenly that Aya-chan did have good legs. But then again, anything above the hips on Aya-chan was kind of… plain.

Omi smiled and shushed Ken, trying to keep him from getting into another fight with the man. He was always a little more conscious of others than Ken. One look told him that the boy believed had already said more than enough to their guests today. They stepped into the garage so Ken could grab his helmet from the handlebars on bikes while Sebastian started to walk his motorcycle out of the garage with Aya-chan following.

Omi walked out his own smaller bike after Sebastian, humming the latest catchy tune that had got on with the teenaged girls in the shop. His small, compact bike didn't look a thing like race-geared Ducati Sebastian had. Instead, was for driving around urban streets but had a small bit of charm being an older and used bike. It guzzled gas like there was no tomorrow, though. Ken had said so before, but Omi loved the bike too much to trade it in for a newer and more efficient model.

"Aya-chan, tell Sebastian if you could just please obey the road laws and follow behind me, we'll go to the restaurant," Omi asked politely as he climbed on to his bike and started the engine. Ken pulled the strap underneath his chin tight and secured his helmet in place, smirking at how Omi managed to insult Sebastian without sounding the least bit rude. Aya-chan must have done a very direct translation because the model growled wordlessly and started his louder engine, gesturing angrily at Aya-chan to get on behind him. She only laughed and took her straddling the back of the bike and the helmet.

Ken watched Omi put his goggles, adjusting the lens before putting on before his own helmet. Omi was a lot cuter than Aya-chan, no matter how adorable she was. But he really should know better than to do this. They could take three bikes, but that load of bull about saving the environment and carpooling rang in Ken's head. Technically, they weren't even carpooling since it was on bikes. Right? Couldn't there be someway to avoid this?

"Come on, Ken-kun," Omi called as Ken hesitated about climbing on behind the boy. He really didn't want to die today. It was finally sunny with just a few clouds streaking the sky that could be seen over the tall skyscrapers only a few blocks away. The snow had almost completely melted away off the road, only a few patches of muddy slick ice in shadowy alleys or around the corner of buildings.

Ken, straddling the back of the seat behind Omi uncomfortably before putting two hands on the boy's hips so he could hold on for dear life. Ken gritted his teeth and waited for Omi to get the bike going forward before lifting his feet off the rolling ground and on the two bars on the side of the bike. Ken really doubted Omi's ability to hold both of them up unless the bike was moving forward. The boy was just so much smaller than him! Ken couldn't expect him to be able to balance a bike and a soccer player at the same time.

Sebastian started up and followed behind them with Aya-chan, her laughter loud and clear even this far apart. Omi made a slow wide arch into the road way below his usual breakneck speed. Ken looked around worriedly as he tried to spot which car Omi would almost crash into this time as they headed out into real traffic. It was that lazy start of rush hour, more than the usual amount of cars moving along as they rushed about their simple and normal errands or trips back to a family at home.

"Omi, you're not speeding. What's going on?" Ken hollered as they started down the road at a slower speed than the rest of the traffic. This was weird for Omi, who usually rushed around the place like a bat out of hell. A really, really cute bat out of hell, Ken corrected himself, knowing better than to try to compare Omi to a bat. If the boy knew half of his really thoughts, he'd probably get insulted. Ken wasn't as Smart or suave as Yohji when it came to being romantic. Ken just had to hope Omi didn't get sick of him.

"Sebastian-kun doesn't know the city. I don't want him to get lost," Omi yelled his answer back to Ken. He didn't think Omi was really that concerned over Sebastian. He believed it was more so Sebastian would be forced to follow Omi at this slow crawl when the pretty boy was more used to speeding. Aya-chan's boyfriend's driving attitude was obvious when one looked at Sebastian's personality.

"Yeah, right," Ken drawled, knowing just as well as Omi what a lie it was. As if the man could sense their thoughts, Sebastian pulled up even with them on the roadway. Two bikes wore more than able to fit on one side of the road with elbowroom to spare, but didn't the man know it was dangerous?! Christ, he could get someone killed, not to mention it was illegal! Ken had gotten a ticket for it before.

"Why are you going so bloody slow?" Sebastian yelled in English from behind the black mask of his helmet, his expression hidden. Didn't Sebastian have a fucking clue that Omi didn't understand his English accent? Aya-chan held to Sebastian's back with two arms wrapped around his chest as she stared at them from behind the face cover of her helmet. He couldn't tell what kind of face she was making. Ken wondered what she thought of him and Omi being together.

Did she regret breaking up with him? Ken kind of hoped that she did. The little bitch deserved it for breaking his heart without a care when she packed up and left for Africa a brutally quick goodbye saying Ken was 'boring.' He had been left shell-shocked on the porch with his face frozen in surprise that Aya-chan could call another person boring without sounding like a complete hypocrite. What hurt the worst was that she had dumped him before Ken even got the chance to do it first. He had been planning to tell her that day as well, not wanting a long-distance relationship and kind of glad to have an excuse that wouldn't break her heart, but she had beaten him to it and crushed his instead.

"Aya-chan, tell Sebastian-kun I'm worried you'll get lost if I go fast," Omi yelled back in Japanese with mock wounded hurt as he slowed down even more. Ken admired the boy for being able to be so rude and not even have to say a word. Ken couldn't get his message across unless he yelled it across a room, but Omi only had to give 'the look' for one to know he was in deep shit. This was driving Sebastian up the wall more efficiently than Ken punching him in the face.

"We're going to the best burger place in Tokyo," Ken yelled in English once Aya-chan finished translating Omi to Sebastian. Ken couldn't tell what Sebastian's expression was, but it was no doubt not pleased at this. He didn't know where Omi was going and he didn't care how long it took them to get there. He was starting to really enjoy Omi's slow driving. Even if Omi did crash into something, Ken would have enough time to merely step off to the sidewalk before they hit.

And, besides, it was fun to yell at Sebastian they drove at barely the flow of traffic. Cars were starting to pile up behind them on the road, getting caught up behind them as Omi refused to go any faster. Ken laughed, glad that someone made the usually crazy drivers slow down for once. If Omi wanted to cause a traffic jam, so be it. There was an empty road ahead of them and Ken couldn't have been happier.

"There isn't one in this whole damn bloody country!" Sebastian yelled back to Ken in English. Both Ken and Omi growled at the same time, sick and tired of Sebastian insulting their country. Omi might not have understood it, but since it was Sebastian talking, whatever he said must have been rude. Nothing in Japan was as good as anything in England as far as Sebastian was concerned. Ken was determined to show him that was simply a load of bull.

"Aw, bite me, you stupid foreigner," Ken snapped back in Japanese and flipping Sebastian off. It seemed at that time, Omi also decided he had enough of going slow. The motorcycle flew out from under Ken and he barely managed to wrap both arms around Omi in time to stay on. He didn't even know that this little tin can could manage to actually accelerator and leave Sebastian behind.

"Omi! Slow down, slow the fuck down!" Ken screamed at the back of the boy's helmet as they suddenly hurtled forward to cover the distance that had developed between the motorbike and the next car ahead. Ken couldn't look back to see if Aya-chan and Sebastian were even staying with him and he couldn't say he was too concerned about them. He was going to die! All Ken could do was close his eyes and try not to cry as the bike went sickeningly to the left.

Omi passed around the first car he had caught up with at his normal brake-neck speed like Ken's weight didn't mean a thing. Ken knew they were going to die when they got around this car. Omi wouldn't be able to balance a bike with two people on it for a fast dive back into the proper lane. Where could he possibly be thinking of going? Omi was headed straight for a crash without a care for Ken behind.

"I'm too young to die!" Ken sobbed to Omi's back, holding on as tightly as he could. He couldn't bear to look at the road anymore. His heart couldn't take it. Omi coughed and wheezed, the front tire wiggling as Omi had trouble breathing around Ken's tight hold. He wouldn't let go, not even in death, because the end of Ken's life was coming up fast if Omi was going to ride this small piece of shit like this.

"Ken-kun… I can't… breathe," Omi choked loud enough to be heard over the wind, honking horns, and through their helmets. Reluctantly, Ken loosened the bruising hug he had around Omi's ribs and instead made two fists in the front of the boy's jacket. Omi didn't say anything else but turned his attention back to hurtling down the road like it was a suicide run. Omi forget about Ken already, heading down the road at a crazy speed.

Ken closed his eyes and buried his face between Omi's shoulder blades. The boy rode his bike back and forth from school hundreds of times. He obviously could drive around the city without getting into a crash. Ken didn't understand how that could possibly be the case when Omi didn't even seem to know where the brakes were. He had sworn this off for a reason! Ken's stomach was a tight, worried knot as the felt the small motorcycle's engine roar like a wind-up toy. Why hadn't he insisted on driving?

Please, Lord, if you're really there, I need the restaurant to be less than a mile away, Ken prayed futilely. He didn't want to die in a motorcycle crash. He had seen the videos of motorcycle victims in traffic school when he went for his license. Ken didn't want his brains splattered on the road like Jell-O. Why did Omi insist of driving like a maniac? Didn't he know he should be considerate to his passenger?

"Ken-kun, I need to drive," Omi yelled back. Ken blinked, not sure what the boy was talking about until he realized the fists he had made in the front of Omi's jacket had twisted up in Omi's shirt to show off Omi's pale stomach above the jeans. Ken looked down over Omi's shoulder to see the nice dip of muscle on the boy's tummy, shaking with the speed of the road passing under the two tires.

"Yeah, so did I," Ken snapped, not about to forget about this morning's drive. He dropped the shirt down reluctantly though, knowing that if Omi was to get in a crash on this little motorcycle it would be a hundred times messier than if it was in the truck. He didn't miss Omi's sigh of relief though, and decided that one did have to pay back all their debts. He wouldn't be a man otherwise.

So, instead of trying to find another death grip that wouldn't bother Omi's driving as they weaved through traffic like a strange dance, Ken put his hands under the hem of Omi's jacket and shirt, right against Omi's skin. His fingers were chilled from the wind and Omi's stomach was nice and warm. The kid was like a little oven, always producing heat.

"Ken-kun, you're cold," Omi complained, trying to squirm away and keep the handlebars steady at the same time. Ken waited and kept his palms flat on either side of Omi's waist. Eventually they began to warm up and Omi relaxed as he got used to Ken's cold hands, sitting back on the bike and slowing down just a touch. Ken noticed the way Omi's fingers loosened around the gas, not so focused on racing away from Sebastian.

Maybe this could work in another way than just to bug Omi like the boy had done so this morning. By putting his hands on Omi's flesh, he had managed to get the boy to slow down. Ken let his palms run up the younger blonde's taunt sides underneath the shirt just as leisurely as they rolled through a yellow light. He let his fingers rest between the slight arches of Omi's ribs, finding a molded grip that fit his hand perfectly. The boy slowed down even more at that, finally going the speed limit.

Ken smiled, able to relax now that they had hit thirty-five miles an hour again. Omi wasn't telling Ken that he was being a distraction and he wasn't about to remove his poor hands from the warmth coming from Omi. They had been about ready to freeze off until he put them under Omi's shirt. Besides, Sebastian and Aya-chan were nowhere in sight. Ken wondered if they had lost them for a moment before deciding he didn't really give a damn either way. He hadn't wanted to eat at the same table with an ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend with his own same-sex lover. It would be exactly like some horrible movie, so awful that it couldn't possibly happen in real life.

And yet, here Ken and Omi were in reality, not a movie, both of them thinking the same thoughts and praying that they really had lost Sebastian and Aya-chan. It was possible in this compact, busy metropolis area. Ken looked up at the tall buildings passing by, the dizzying heights of the skyscrapers in this city never failing to impress Ken. He couldn't believe that anyone had built this, unable to imagine what the construction must have looked like. It was like he had never seen the city from this angle before, now that he was riding behind Omi on the boy's dingy old bike.

He really wanted to go to dinner with Omi alone. Ken didn't want Aya-chan and Sebastian to distract him from talking with Omi and actually listening to what the boy said back. Ken had never really cared for other people's conversations before he had come across Omi. Something about him was so interesting and Ken didn't know what it was. He didn't particularly care to figure it out in the next few days. Maybe in a couple of years he would be able to put into words why he liked Omi so much. And then, when Ken had finally sorted it all out, he would tell Aya. He really wanted to have an answer to the redhead's question about love.

Ken sighed, setting his chin down comfortably on Omi's shoulder as he stopped worrying less about the boy's ability to drive and more about Aya. Ken felt like Aya only got worse instead of better. Every time it looked like there might be a full recovery, something awful happened. Why didn't he know what to say whenever he was with Aya alone? Ken felt like anything he told Aya would just be wrong. He didn't know who Aya was anymore. It was like talking to a ghost, a pale imitation of the man Ken had known. Ken didn't know how to deal with this whitewashed Aya. He was used to the furious temper and fierce, practical judgment. He wasn't used to dealing with Aya stammering.

Apparently Yohji had figured out how to deal with the new Aya real quick. The older man had been the last person Ken would have thought to be there for Aya. He didn't even know if Yohji and Aya were still together half the time, unsure when he heard them start to get into another yelling match. But, they always made up and then would sit together on the couch quietly, Yohji smoking a cigarette and Aya reading. It was almost a ritual between the two of them. It was strange. It worked.

"Here we are," Omi said happily, pulling unexpectedly early to the sidewalk in an open parking spot. It was ludicrous to think they'd be able to find a spot to park a car on the street in a city this big, but there was always a small enough place for a bike. That was why Ken loved the more compact motorcycles than a full vehicle. Motorcycles had just as much power without all of the junk like doors and windows to weigh him down.

Ken reluctantly pulled his hands out from under Omi's shirt and unclasped his helmet. Ken looked up to the corner of the street, only seeing shops on the first floor of the tall buildings. The crowds were jam-packed here, people moving against each other with barely any space between shoulders and elbows. It was loud with yelling and honking and people rushing by. Ken didn't see any restaurants in this area except for the one right behind him…

"MacDonald's?" Ken said curiously as he looked up at the sign in confusion. Omi nodded as he popped off his own helmet and shook out his hair. Ken had thought they were heading for some nice, fancy restaurant to suit Aya-chan and Sebastian's expensive tastes. Sure, Sebastian had asked for a hamburger, but this was a little far. Ken looked at the clean, uniform inside of the fast food place, wondering what Omi could possibly have in mind. Maybe they were going to a restaurant behind MacDonald's.

"I can't go to a nice restaurant dressed like this," Omi defended himself as Ken slowly crawled off the back of the bike. Ken didn't mind what Omi, looking Omi up and down in the work clothes they had worn to throw the body away in. It didn't matter that the pants were baggy and his coat was loose. Omi looked great in it, pulling off 'grubby' like it was the sexiest thing in the world.

"Ken-kun?" Omi asked softly, his large blue eyes blinking at Ken in confusion. He realized then that he had been staring at Omi; unable to turn away from the soft curve of the boy's cheek and the way he tucked some hair behind one ear. Ken shook himself and started to laugh out loud to cover it up. Could he tell Omi that he had been completely charmed by his looks alone? Omi didn't think being 'cute' was as extraordinary as Ken thought.

"Ah, man, I'm hungry. Let's eat," Ken demanded, not wanting to wait a singly moment longer. MacDonald's may not be Omi's cooking, but it was a second best. Omi sighed at Ken before smiling again, tiredly accepting the fact that Ken could be a real idiot some times. Hopefully Omi loved his stupidity, because Ken didn't know how the boy could even think of dealing with him if it wasn't. Ken was very good at being oblivious, careless and easily distracted, especially if he was around Omi. It wasn't his fault that Omi was so amazing

"We should wait for Sebastian-kun and Aya-chan to show up before going in," Omi said as he snagged Ken's shirt before he could try to take off for the order line inside. Ken grumbled and shifted on his feet miserably, not wanting to have to stay outside in this cold for pissy old Sebastian and Aya-chan. Chances were more than likely that Sebastian had gotten lost and was driving the streets in confusion like the stupid foreigner that he was. As soon as Omi was sure Ken wouldn't try to run for the door again, he took the keys out of his motorcycle. The blonde unlocked the small trunk space under the backseat to put their helmets in while they went inside to eat.

"I hope Aya-kun is all right," Omi said softly as Ken handed Omi his helmet to put away as well. How did Omi know that Aya had been upset when they had walked in? Had the boy seen the look on Aya's face when he tried to run out of the living room? Ken cursed silently, wishing that Aya would be a little more open with them and actually say what was going on. Now Omi was going to worry over him and Aya couldn't care less.

"I'm sure he's fine. He'd tear Sebastian's head off if that bastard nut tried anything," Ken growled. Aya would be fine if Sebastian approached him again. Even if Aya looked like the wind could blow him away, he wouldn't allow some lowlife like Sebastian to touch him. Ken just wished he knew what had happened to make Aya look so scared when he had come out of the living room. If Sebastian had done something Aya, Ken wouldn't speak for how much longer Sebastian had to live. Or at least how long he would have before Ken rearranged his face.

"Sebastian-kun did something to Aya-kun?! What? What did he do?" Omi asked in a rush, his voice going up a notch with each syllable. People passing by on the busy sidewalk stopped to look at Omi's outburst, some continuing in their walking by edging around the both of them like they were lunatics. Omi waited for Ken to say something, worry plain enough on his face for any stranger to see.

"Nothing! I don't know!" Ken yelled back, not wanting to get into a fight on the sidewalk in front of all of these people. Omi's eyes narrowed as the boy opened his mouth to yell at Ken again before he blinked as realized what Ken had said. Then, the boy shrugged and turned away from him, letting the whole matter drop like it had never been brought up.

"What was Sebastian-kun yelling? I couldn't catch it all," Omi asked Ken as the afternoon breeze began to pick in the streets. People around them grumbled as hairstyles and clothing were ruffled by the wind blowing down the streets of the city. Omi just laughed and brushed some of his hair out of those wonderful big eyes, already so trashy that messed up hair wouldn't matter. Except, it ended up mattering to Ken. He couldn't turn away from Omi laughing in the wind like they were in the middle of an open field instead of off to the side of the hustling street and stopped traffic. Why weren't other people stopping to gawk at the boy standing in front of him? Ken couldn't understand how anyone could not be staring at Omi right now.

"Bitching about Japanese hamburgers," Ken dismissed, not wanting to talk about Sebastian right now. The real thing would probably show up soon, and that was more than enough. JesusChrist, what could Aya-chan possibly see in that jerk? Ken had yet to catch a glimpse of even one redeeming factor in the European model beyond his ridiculous paycheck, which was another reason to hate Aya-chan and Sebastian even more. Sebastian had more than enough money to pay for him and Aya-chan to live luxuriously the rest of their lives, so why did Aya-chan keep sending to Aya for money? How could they have gotten so greedy to want more then what Sebastian made? Aya had prostituted himself for his sister, who hadn't needed a single penny.

"What? But, it's good," Omi argued, honestly not seeing how anyone could not enjoy a happy meal. Ken shrugged, his personal preference being home cooked meals from Omi… and Aya, now that he found out the man could cook more then dishes spicy enough to melt his tongue off. Ken and Yohji couldn't cook as well as their partners, but Ken could at least make hotdogs and ramen. Ken doubted Yohji's ability to make anything beyond a piece of toast, and that was without putting butter on it.

"Don't worry, Omi. I'm sure once Sebastian has a bite, he wouldn't ever be able to go back to those bloody English hamburgers," Ken drawled in a bad imitation of Sebastian, saying the model's favorite curse in that same irritatingly low voice. Omi laughed and clapped his hands, cheering Ken on to roll his eyes and toss back imaginary locks of curly hair. Sebastian looked more like a shaggy mutt than a sharp-cut pretty boy.

"What are you doing, Ken?" Aya-chan's voice asked behind him in the same irritated way that Ken had heard hundreds of times before. He yelped and jumped forward, grabbing his chest in shock at Aya-chan's sudden arrival. Omi smiled nervously, not sure of when Aya-chan had shown up as well in the middle of his performance. Hopefully she wouldn't be able to guess who Ken was mimicking.

Aya-chan and Sebastian were standing together like a bride and groom on top of a wedding cake, her arm slipped around his elbow like they were an very old couple. It made Ken ill to see it. It wasn't that he felt the slightest bit of regret or jealousy. He had gotten over Aya-chan and had Omi in exchange. It was the best trade-in Ken had done in his life. He just couldn't stand having two people he hated so much standing right in front of them. Ken didn't want to eat with these two.

"You drive like a hell child!" Sebastian roared immediately in English, ripping his arm away from Aya-chan to point at Omi in accusation. The boy blinked at the manicured nail in his face, not understanding the sudden rush of English. Aya-chan sighed and stepped forward to squeeze Sebastian's shoulder, trying to soothe her lover. Sebastian shook her off in irritation, just like how Ken used to do. He had hated Aya-chan being so touchy all the time as much as Sebastian seemed to as well.

"You should shut your pie hole, you fucking idiot," Ken snapped back in English to Sebastian's face as he stepped between the Englishman and his boyfriend. Aya-chan's eyes widened at Ken angrily interrupting them, not seeing why Ken thought it necessary to come to Omi's defense. She didn't think anything was wrong in her boyfriend insulting Ken's in the middle of the street, even if it was in another language.

"Why don't you step out of the way? Come on, you little shit," Sebastian yelled at Omi. Ken couldn't believe that Sebastian was trying to start a fight with someone smaller than him. People passing back gave them curious looks as a foreigner screamed at them in the middle of the street. Aya-chan moaned but didn't try to call her boyfriend off, putting one hand to her head like she had a headache. Why didn't she stop him?

"You will not talk to him like that," Ken ordered in English, looking at Sebastian coldly. The model snarled and looked away as Aya-chan tugged at his sleeve, knowing that Ken was not one to be messed with. Omi touched Ken in the small of the back to catch his attention, trying to calm him down as well. Ken decided it would be all right to turn his back to Sebastian and face Omi now that the man looked properly chastened. Aya-chan glared at him and Omi and Ken glared right back.

"Ken-kun, th…" Omi started, his eyes wide and impressed.

"Let's go in," Ken cut him off, not wanting to hear Omi say 'thank you.' He wanted Omi just to take it for granted that he would be there for the boy. He considered them to be lovers now, and he would never allow someone to talk to Omi like that in public. It had been rude beyond belief. This was going to take some time to get over. He hadn't calmed down in the least, but was forced to pretend like he did so they wouldn't brawl in the middle of the street.

Ken really did hate Sebastian and Aya-chan, in the strongest, darkest way possible. He didn't like Aya-chan because she had changed so much from the girl he used to love. He hated Sebastian because he was rude to Omi. And he despised them the most when both turned their heads up to the golden arches above their heads and frowned at the place Omi had taken them to.

"What is this, a joke?" Sebastian asked before Aya-chan elbowed him in the ribs, for once knowing that he was saying too much. She smiled at Ken and Omi like nothing was wrong, grinning even though her boyfriend was choking next to her.

"It sounds delicious," Aya-chan said in her voice that she always used when she really wanted to do the exact opposite. Ken glared at her before he grabbed Omi's hand and walked ahead of them with Omi in tow. Screw Sebastian and Aya-chan. And to think for a single moment he had almost been generous to think about offering to pay for the meal. Well, that was blown out the window. Except for Omi. Ken would pay for him, of course. Omi shouldn't even think that he would be able to pay if he was eating with Ken.

"Ken-kun, really, what are you making such a big deal about?" Omi asked as Ken pushed open the doors a little bit more violently than was really necessary. He couldn't help it, too pissed to even see straight. Aya-chan grated on his nerves, the memories still a bit too fresh. It seemed like all the good times were flying at him and Ken couldn't escape, and at the same time Aya-chan was doing all the things that had made him want to leave her in the first place. Even if he was over her, it still burned.

"Nothing at all," Ken sighed heavily. Omi was right. This wasn't anything to get so worked up about. Aya-chan was in a past and Ken didn't give a damn about whom she chose to start dating. It wasn't his concern anymore. He should stop being rude and start concentrating on the wonderful person he already had at his side. Why did he even feel regret over Aya-chan when he had Omi?

They went into the MacDonald's together, entering into the simple lobby with a row of registers facing them. There were tables with cheap, plastic chairs and napkin dispensers with equally plain people eating there in the early dinnertime. A few glanced up from their fries to look at Omi and Ken curiously while a worker smiled at them welcomingly, waiting their order. The employee behind the register was actually rather cute for working at a fast-food joint, a round impish face looking pleasant.

"So, what are you going to get, squirt?" Ken teased, reaching out to ruffle Omi's hair. Omi smiled at Ken as he shook the boy's head back and forth roughly. Omi smacked away his hands and twisted away from Ken, taking a few steps to get some space between them before clasping his hands behind his back and looking up at the menu. The girl at the register giggled softly at them, amused by how well Ken and Omi got along.

"I don't know yet. It's hard work to get rid of a bod-" Omi started before Ken slapped his hand over the boy's mouth and started laughing as loudly as he could. The other customers glanced back at them and his obvious nervousness as Sebastian and Aya-chan stepped in, blinking at them both. Ken glanced around the restaurant suspiciously to make sure nobody had heard that. The only people watching them were staring at Ken for choking the boy next to him.

"Oh, there, I got that smudge off," Ken laughed, removing his hand from Omi's mouth. His palm was still moist from where Omi must have opened his mouth to yell at him. Ken wiped it off on his pants legs while Omi sniffed at his excuse and gave him a disapproving look. They both knew that Omi shouldn't yell at him, since he had blabbed to everyone in MacDonald's fact they threw a decapitated body into a state park lake early today.

"Why, thank you, Ken-kun," Omi returned like he had really been doing the boy a favor, even though there wasn't a single spot of dirt on the boy's face. How could dust even dare sit on Omi's face and block Ken's view, even it was no more than the width of a pencil tip?! If so much as a grain of sand touched Omi's pores, Ken would have a jealous fit right here and now.

"Oh, Ken, I forgot how weird you can be," Aya-chan laughed behind him Japanese as Sebastian studied the pictures on the huge menu behind the cashier's head. They must have finally decided to get over the fact this wasn't a five star restaurant. Ken would think they'd be happy about saving money while eating out. Then, since it was Aya-chan and Sebastian, they were probably pissed that a meal didn't cost at least ten dollars.

Ken stared at Aya-chan in shock. Her words might as well of been bullets. Aya-chan had way to say the absolute meanest thing and make it sound like polite conversation. It made Ken want to strangle her cute little neck. What about him was 'weird?' The way she dressed now in the expensive, fashionable clothes was damn weird!

"I like Ken-kun when he's weird," Omi snapped defensively, not about to let Aya-chan get away with insulting Ken to his faces. Ken didn't think he had ever been more complimented in his whole life. No one had ever once said they liked it when he acted like an idiot or said the wrong things. Ken wanted to yell out that he loved Omi in the middle of the restaurant. He wanted to rub it in Aya-chan's and Sebastian's and any other lonely loser's face that Omi Tsukiyono loved him unconditionally. It was like being told he had the power to fly.

Ken never felt more confident about anything in his life as he walked toward the register and ordered a number three. The girl smiled at them from under her visor, two perfect pigtails on either side of her head as she studied the four of them in an obvious argument. She frowned at Sebastian, able to instantly recognize an asshole when one wandered in.

"And anything this little slice of heaven wants," Ken finished, pointing at Omi without shame. The girl's eyebrows shot up, her pigtails practically pointing up like ears in shock as Omi smiled and blushed under the compliment but didn't tell Ken to shut up. Aya-chan and Sebastian only groaned behind them, used to Ken being overly romantic. Hell, he could even give Yohji a run for his money as he smiled back at Omi. He didn't care if they all but oozed love, because it was the case.

"Can… I get… um," Omi trailed off indecisively as he looked up at the menu while the girl's jaw still hung open from Ken's comment. She didn't look like she was going to recover anytime soon, her eyes flicking back from between Ken and Omi in shock as she came to the conclusion that they were indeed both men. Ken was used to people taking a moment to realize that Omi was male. He didn't see how anyone could be mixed up about it, but then again Ken had sex with Omi every day of the week. It was easy for him to say Omi was very certainly a guy.

"Chicken nuggets!" Omi finally announced his decision, smiling warmly at the girl. She pressed the button on her machine for his order without even looking down, her eyes still wide in amazement that Ken and Omi were openly affectionate with each other in public. Was it so wrong because they were both men? Who cared about common decency? This was being in love! He didn't mean to be so overly affectionate, but he couldn't help himself. Omi was like a kitten, and nobody could resist how damn cute baby animals looked.

Ken handed her a twenty for the amount that she couldn't even manage to say out loud, stumbling over the numbers as Ken put a hand on Omi's shoulder. He just wanted to touch Omi right now and couldn't think of single reason why he should. No excuse came to mind other than he missed Omi, but the boy was standing next to him. Ken just squeezed Omi's shoulder and waited for this girl to get over it and give him back his change.

"Th… Thank you for choosing MacDonald's," the girl stammered before she counted back Ken's money in a choked up voice. He had to give her some points for trying to overcome over her shock and get back to work, but she was doing a horrible job. Omi and Ken only smiled identically as she coughed and gave Ken a receipt with their order number on it and two paper cups for the both of them.

Aya-chan came up behind them and immediately ordered a hamburger with no mayonnaise and fries without salt. The pig-tailed girl looked at her in irritation, recovering quickly from her surprise at Omi and Ken to annoyance that Aya-chan was ordering with an anal perfection. Ken wondered what side of the family the Fujimiyas' got it from.

"Sebastian, dear, what do you want?" Aya-chan asked in English as her boyfriend continued to stare up at the menu, amazed at the unfamiliar writing. Ken chose to accompany Omi to the soda machine than watch Sebastian gape at the inside of a Japanese fast food place without the slightest clue to read the prices. At least there were pictures or Sebastian would really be in trouble

"I'm gonna kill him," Ken whispered softly to Omi when they both stopped in front of the ice machine. The boy didn't even need to ask to know whom Ken was talking about. Omi looked back over his shoulder curiously as Aya-chan listened to Sebastian's order while the employee glared murder at them both. The employee had good instincts to instantly dislike the couple.

"Ken-kun, you can't in public," Omi reminded jokingly. If anyone was listening to them, he might have thought the two of them were just laughing. The thing was, Ken really could kill Sebastian and was more than prepared to do so. He shrugged and put his cup under the lever to get ice, wishing he had brought his old bagnunks along with him. That way he could have ripped out Sebastian's throat and everyone would have been a lot happier. The employee looked like she'd give them a meal free if Ken took care of Sebastian as the model still didn't know what to order, a line building up behind him and Aya-chan.

"Where do you want to sit?" Ken asked, trying to keep his mind off of such unpleasant things. It wouldn't do to dwell on the fact that in reality, he couldn't kill Sebastian. That would make Aya-chan sad, which would make Aya mad, which would make Yohji irritate. He could take Yohji yelling at him, but the playboy would probably accuse Omi of goading Ken on. It was dominos of emotions that would eventually curl back around to smack Ken and Omi right in the face.

Just because they were happy together didn't mean that Yohji and Aya's moods didn't affect them. Ken and Omi had to leave the house regularly because it got too overbearingly tense with Yohji and Aya fighting so loudly they couldn't even hear each other speak. Or, even worse, the awkward silence after the fight when Yohji and Aya hadn't made up yet and tempers were very thin.

"By the window," Omi said as he filled up his cup with Pepsi. Ken shrugged, knowing that the blonde like to people-watch whenever he could. Omi was fascinated by 'normal crowds' and watching families, friends, businessmen, street busters, anyone that he could see. For Ken, it was strange to see people walk past, knowing that he could never be that innocent again. None of them understood the pain of murdering someone in cold blood.

Their number was called suddenly, reminding Ken exactly why they called this fast food. He glanced over to see a different employee with neon red hair brighter than Aya's dispassionately dropped a wrapped burger, a box of chicken nuggets and some fries falling across the entire tray from its original little cardboard packet. The teenage boy reached under the counter as Ken and Omi stared and dropped some ketchup packets on top.

"Here, take this," Ken said to Omi as he shoved his cup of ice into the boy's hand. Ken turned around give this worker a piece of his mind and grab their food. Ken wanted to jump over the counter and shake the crap out of the little punk. He hoped that the employee would spit in Sebastian's meal. It didn't matter so much if Aya-chan got a boogie in place of mayonnaise. Hopefully not in his and Omi's, though.

"I'm going to get a table, Ken-kun," Omi told his back. Ken didn't even listen. By the time he got to the counter, the employee was already out of sight and safely behind a line of deep fryers. Ken tried to see around the machinery to catch a sight of crappy, neon-red hair when Sebastian finally made a decision and let Aya-chan pay. Ken couldn't believe that he was making his lady pay! While Aya-chan and he had gone out, Ken had made sure she didn't pay for a single thing. That was the way Ken had been taught to treat a significant other.

Sebastian had obviously completely missed that lesson, only looking bored as Aya-chan took her change. The two of them turned and walked toward Ken, missing the face the girl at the register made at their backs before she helped the next in line. Just mother fucking dandy. If he made a run for it and went to go sit with Omi instead of taking to Aya-chan and Sebastian, it would definitely be rude. But, it was ruder still to leave poor little Omi by himself to find a table.

"This is nice, Ken," Aya-chan said warmly. Her reluctance to be here came through loud and clear, despite how nice and polite she tried to be. She smiled at Ken and Sebastian turned away to study the line of Japanese citizens came in for a quick bite to eat. Sebastian was staring at everyone in the restaurant like he was studying some creatures at the zoo, his eyes wide at two girls wearing garish make-up and school uniforms. Ken was used to the younger girls' wild fashion trends with them coming into the flower shop every morning before school.

"What do you want, love?" Aya-chan asked Sebastian in English as she held up two cups for the both of them in each hand. She was already ignoring Ken before he even had a chance to say anything to her. This was why he didn't want to talk to them. Sebastian shrugged, leaving the decision up to Aya-chan. She smiled and turned back the soda machine like he had admitted his undying love for her. How could she be happy with an asshole like Sebastian? Even Aya-chan didn't deserve such a creep. Ken wanted to ask her why she liked Sebastian, knowing that the jerk wouldn't be able to understand Japanese even if the model was standing right next to them.

Ken felt a small, extremely miniscule amount of pity for her. Aya-chan had settled on Sebastian and look what a bad catch it had been. If Ken were Aya-chan, he probably would probably go lesbian after Sebastian. Than again, Ken's own gayness probably could be traced back to the moment Aya-chan and he had broken up. That was probably the exact second he realized girls just didn't do it for him anymore. Aya-chan had turned him off from the female sex, realizing that they really didn't do a thing for him. Actually, no one would if they weren't Omi.

Aya-chan and Sebastian's number was called out in a male voice and the same damn employee who had served up Ken and Omi slammed down three burgers and a large order of fries strewn all over the tray. Sebastian stared down at the presentation as the guy looked at them with disinterest. Just because this kid hated his job didn't mean he had to make everyone else miserable. Aya-chan joined them to look at the poor serving in disgust with two full soda cups in each hand.

"Excuse me," Ken started but the employee presented his back to them and was already going back to work safely in the back where Ken couldn't maul him. If that little shit thought Ken was going to let him get off that easily, the kid was sorely mistaken. He had one foot braced on the counter to jump over before Aya-chan grabbed his arm.

"Ken! What are you doing?" She snapped, once again embarrassed in public because of Ken. She had always been humiliated to take him anywhere because Ken was loud and vulgar while Aya-chan tended toward quiet and demure. It wasn't the silent beauty that her brother was. Perhaps Aya was another reason why she and Ken had broken up. Ken had found himself comparing Aya-chan more and more to her brother and coming up short in so many ways. Aya-chan was clever where Aya was a genius. She was attractive and Aya was sex on two legs. Aya-chan insulted others when her brother didn't even say enough for one to even form an opinion on what Ayamight be thinking.

"Stretching," Ken lied as he put both feet back on the ground and grabbed his and Omi's tray. Aya-chan picked up their own tray as Sebastian yawned. Like he can't carry it! Ken raged, the gentleman in him furious that Aya-chan was some kind of serving wench. Sure, she had turned into a bitch, but she was still a woman and they deserved a bit of respect. Ken would never let Omi carry something with him.

"Uh-huh," she said back in a disbelieving manner that Ken had heard a millions times before as she followed behind him with Sebastian behind. She never even pretended to go along with him when he was lying blatantly. At least Omi thought it was funny and would play along some times.

Ken looked around the place, wondering where his Omi could have run off to now. Going out with Omi was like having a new pet that liked to play hide-and-seek. Ken most certainly did not like the idea of Omi being unsupervised after Aya was attacked not once, but twice in their very own store. The underworld was not as distant from them as Ken would like to think. Ken would have liked to think that that part of his life would never come back to haunt him, but Aya's 'friends' kept showing up.

"There's Omi!" Aya-chan declared, spotting the boy sitting with two drinks in front of him at a table in the corner by the window. Omi was sitting in the furthest chair over so he could get a good view of the people shuffling past them outside on the street. The boy already was sucking absentmindedly on his straw as he stared at the people going by with as much attention he would give to a particularly interesting professor.

Ken maneuvered through the neat lines of chairs and messy tables with opened packets of ketchup and used napkins littering the floor. He wished people wouldn't be complete animals just because the poor employees here had to clean up after them… Except that little dick in the back. He should be forced to lick the floor clean.

"You still hungry or you just want to stare all day long?" Ken asked as Omi didn't even turn his head to look at the three people surrounding his table. The boy blinked up at him owlishly, looking at the tray Ken had in his hand like he hadn't ever seen one before. Ken had been so caught up in watching the city life outside the window that he hadn't even noticed them come up. Aya-chan and Sebastian were already settling down on their side of the table, spreading out the hamburgers and figuring out which one had no mayonnaise.

"I'm starving," Omi argued as Ken put the tray down. Omi looked down at the fries in confusion, glancing back between their tray and the couple across from them. He pointed at the mess without a word, raising one eyebrow as he looked at Ken for an explanation.

"We're never eating here again," Ken swore ridiculously, knowing at the same time that they probably come back in the near future. It was close to home and usually pretty good, except for that employee in the back. Maybe the punk would get involved in some kind of tragic grease fire. One could only hope.

"Uh-huh," Omi agreed with a stupid grin on his face, just as aware as Ken was that it was a complete lie. Ken stuck his tongue out at the boy and grabbed at his burger while Omi made a face at him like they were still in grade school. The boy opened up his cardboard box of nuggets while Ken unwrapped his burger, both starting to eat like nothing had happened. Aya-chan and Sebastian stared at them from across the table, visibly sickened at Ken and Omi flirting with each other.

"I'm never going to eat here again too. Look at this," Aya-chan ordered, pointing down at the mess of a meal on her tray. Ken shrugged, having an identical situation on his side as well. Omi didn't seem to mind, reaching down to grab several French fries and take a few little bites of each separately. The boy was content as long as the food hadn't been on the floor for over ten seconds.

"We shouldn't have expected much from a Japanese MacDonald's," Sebastian groaned in English as he picked up one of the burgers he had ordered. Ken put down his burger, wanting to see every second of Sebastian eating a Japanese hamburger. He didn't want to miss Sebastian being forced to admit that it was damn tasty. The set of perfect white teeth opened up and the model took one first, tentative bite.

"Do you like it?" Aya-chan asked in English, not even touching her own meal until Sebastian was happy with his own. Sebastian blinked, chewing with his mouth open as he tasted Japanese fast food for the first time. Ken didn't see why it should really be any different from any other country. It was that Sebastian had insulted the food before they even got through the door.

"It's all right," Sebastian said grudgingly, not wanting to admit that it was the best damn hamburger he had in his entire life. Ken took a bite of his own, happy with the bun and meat patty. It was hard to screw up something that had already been cooked once. He didn't care anymore that the employees here obviously didn't take much pride in their work if he judged the place by that red-haired punk.

"I wish Ran would have come with us," Aya-chan sighed, absently picking up a French fry and putting it in her mouth forlornly. Omi nodded, wishing that their long-absent friend had chosen to join them. Ken wanted Aya to get out of the house and see the outside world again just as much as everyone else, but he just didn't see it happening for a long time. Aya might as well be considered dead for how much he ventured outside.

"I still can't believe Yohji and Aya are… together," Aya-chan started the gossip without any sort of pretending that she was happy for her brother finally in a healthy relationship. The expression on her face told Ken everything. She hated the facts Aya was gay, had a steady partner, and that lover was named Yohji Kudoh. Ken wondered if it would matter this much to her if it had been anyone else beyond Yohji. How much of this anger was just because she didn't like Yohji?

"I know! It's like those two are connected at the hip," Omi agreed, waving a few fries through the air to make his point. Aya-chan had a classic expression of complete disbelief on her face. Omi had completely missed Aya-chan's clear disgust. Sebastian didn't even look up from his hamburger, figuring that since the conversation was in Japanese, he didn't need to pay attention. Ken would have punched Sebastian for trying to eavesdrop on them.

"What? But… But, they fight all the time," Aya-chan argued lamely, obviously not expecting them to be fine and comfortable with this relationship. Ken could tell that she had been trying to discretely find out what they thought of Yohji and Aya. Her eyes were wide, begging Ken to tell her that it was sick or wrong.

Ken didn't know why Aya-chan wasn't dancing in the streets with joy over her brother actually got along with another human being, much less loved someone. Ken didn't know what to call it if Aya wasn't totally and desperately in love with Yohji. He hadn't seen Aya able to stand anyone longer than five minutes, but Aya slept in the same bed with Yohji, followed Yohji around the house, and worked with Yohji, anything that kept him around the man. Yohji didn't complain either when before Aya the playboy usually complained they were smothering him.

"That's their way of getting along," Ken explained before he took a sip out of the straw. Omi nodded in agreement, his mouth too full with a chicken nugget to speak. Aya-chan raised an eyebrow, not believing Ken at all. Her face told him she thought no way in hell could Yohji and Aya be together with how much they fought. She didn't know Yohji like Ken did, and after living with the older man for years he could be very sure that Yohji had found 'the one.'

"What are you talking about?" Sebastian asked irritably in English, bored with eating and angry that he was left out of the conversation. Ken really didn't give a damn. He didn't want to talk about Aya in front of Sebastian. He didn't want to bring up their redhead when Sebastian acted so goddamn slick and sexual with him. Ken couldn't stand the way he talked to Aya, and neither could Yohji. Why did Aya-chan choose Sebastian?!

"Sebastian, just eat your dinner, okay?" Aya-chan ordered in English and pointed at the tray like she was ordering a dog. Her boyfriend surprisingly didn't argue with her though he usually had a smart-ass comment when someone snapped at him like that. Sebastian followed commands well, gagging himself with a bite from the hamburger. The curly-haired man was a pretty heavy eater for being a male model.

"Aya-kun and Yohji-kun get along really well," Omi declared when Aya-chan turned back to them. He smiled at her horrified face and Ken just sat back and grinned. Omi had a knack for stating the obvious in this really cute, polite way that you just couldn't get mad at. If Ken had said the same thing, Aya-chan probably would have clocked him. Since it was Omi, she was simply silent with her mouth in a disbelieving 'o' as she stared at him.

"Yohji adores Aya, trust me," Ken assured her. He knew that Yohji was completely smitten by the redhead. Whenever Aya turned his head from Yohji, the blonde was already drooling and thinking that nobody noticed. Ken could spot Yohji leering at the redhead across a football field when the blonde's eyes glistening as he studied Aya's rearview unabashedly. Ken had started talking to Yohji just to distract him from ogling at poor Aya.

"Aya-chan, it's true," Omi added when her face didn't change. "Yohji-kun stayed by Aya-kun's bedside five days in a row, after… his ac… his accident," Omi hesitated over the last part, his fists clenching in his lap out of sight from Aya-chan and Sebastian as the blonde tried to think of a way to rephrase it. One just couldn't say that someone brother was raped over dinner. Omi only stared down at the table, avoiding all their eyes.

Ken knew that the boy was ashamed that he was saying such things about a teammate. It hurt to talk about it. Aya hadn't deserved that violent crime against him. It made Ken doubt humankind. How another person could do that to his friend was beyond Ken. It had been barbaric, an attack that disregarded any rights Aya had just because he was a living creature.

Sebastian didn't even bat an eye as he stuffed more fries in his face despite the silence that had fallen over them. Aya-chan stared at Ken and Omi, appalled that they were praising Yohji. She had been expecting them to give her some kind of dirt on the playboy, perhaps like when he had slapped Aya. Personally, Ken didn't think it was any of her damn business.

It was something that had happened once, between Yohji and Aya alone. Ken had been rather clear with Yohji on what would happen if he ever hit Aya again. Yohji had learned his lesson, or at least Ken's warning should make him think twice. Besides, Yohji wouldn't dream of lifting a finger against Aya. Hell, the older man got territorial as hell when someone only offered to shake hands with Aya. No one could have a private conversation with Aya without having a crowbar to pry Yohji off the redhead's side. The two might as well of shared a hipbone.

"Yohji is good for Aya," Ken mused out loud, not caring about Aya-chan's feelings. Ken didn't care what she thought about gays, Yohji Kudoh or anything else for that matter. She was going to have to deal with the whole lot of them until she left the country. Their house had turned into a homosexual headquarters now that they all had started more serious relationships then simple roommates.

"Really, I haven't hear Aya-kun ever talk this much before," Omi admitted after Ken, his blue eyes wide and honest. Ken would to agree with that the boy. For as long as Aya had been with them, he had always been a man of few words. Aya was cold, proficient, and emotionless beyond a sudden snap of temper that usually ended with a fatality. Yohji just managed find something to talk about that Aya was avidly interested in, because the redhead would give a full sentence for an answer instead of 'hnn.'

"Ran talks a lot," Aya-chan snapped offensively, like they were the ones that had been badmouthing her brother. She was the one who thought her brother was doing something 'unnatural' by being in love with Aya. Ken didn't get how she could think they were insulting Aya. It was the truth about the changes in Aya brought around because of Yohji. Who knew that the blonde man would be able to weasel his way into Aya's heart? He was definitely changing things for the better though, Ken had to admit. Who knew Aya actual had interest in normal things like reading and balancing a checkbook? Ken would have never guessed if Yohji hadn't told him.

"Yeah, if Yohji's around. Trust me, Aya-chan. He loves Yohji just as much," Ken spoke for Aya's feelings. It was just the sense he got. Just like how Yohji watched Aya when the redhead didn't know, Aya watched Yohji. The eyes that Aya used to look on the blonde when he thought nobody was watching were soft and gentle. It was expression that Ken had only seen once, but it was enough evidence that Aya obviously cared about Yohji. If he wasn't in the same room with the playboy, the redhead would look in every few minutes just to make sure Yohji wasn't going to make a run for it.

Ken noticed just how bad the infatuation was when he had been trying to watch a soccer game on TV. Yohji decided to watch it was well and chose to sit next to him and Ken had been fine with it since Yohji usually didn't say enough to distract him. It had been Aya coming from the kitchen during every commercial break and new quarter that had bugged Ken.

He hadn't really been able to complain since Aya had a perfectly good reason every time he came in. A new beer for either Yohji or Ken, a dish of some crackers and cheese, then some weird paste on crackers that hadn't been too bad that Aya had made himself, then cleaning the coffee table before announcing lunch was ready and serving them sandwiches at two in the afternoon. All because Aya didn't want to admit that he craved Yohji's presence, just like Ken missed Omi when the boy was at school.

"But," Aya-chan tried again lamely with nothing to argue with. She just didn't want to hear the truth. It was obvious that she didn't like Yohji and wished her brother had chosen someone else. The only way Aya-chan would ever be happy with anyone her brother chose to love would be if it were her. But, it was Yohji that Aya had ended up with and it was turning out to be a good thing for both parties.

"Don't worry, Aya-chan, it's a good thing," Omi assured her, reaching over the table to pat Aya-chan's hand comfortingly like they were good friends. Aya-chan didn't look like she was convinced, just a bit confused. How could she not believe it when the boy said so with such an honest look on his face? Ken had never known Omi lie… unless the situation really called for it. But, they were talking about Aya and Yohji right now, and there was nothing dishonest when they said those two were in love.

Love was just hate misdirected. Yohji and Aya loved each other, because that was the only way to explain the dislike they had for the other. It was incredible to see two men them get along so well when they had such explosive fights all the time. Things had gotten a lot louder around the house and Ken didn't mind it at all. It was better to hear Aya screaming rather that cold silence that spread out from his bedroom and into the house everyday Ken didn't see him. It had been like living with a ghost.

But, Yohji had managed to find Aya bring him back to them. Ken was grateful for that. He didn't understand Aya, couldn't come to terms with him. Aya just saw the world as being a place of betrayal, sin and darkness. Ken had left those feelings behind with his old job, preferring to forget and look forward. Aya had taken the ideal of a white hunter a little too seriously, and it showed now. But, Yohji was working on that, slowly bringing Aya out of the shell that Ken had never even known existed.

Things would calm down once Sebastian and Aya-chan left. Thank God the couple wasn't moving to Japan anytime soon. Ken wouldn't be able to stand Sebastian being the same country as him. Ken could barely deal with the way Aya-chan flaunted her new relationship in front of him and they had only been here for a few days. He couldn't even imagine it being a permanent thing.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Omi asked, blinking at Ken as he daydreamed what life would be like with Aya-chan and Sebastian living in the same city. Ken shook his head, turning back to eat the rest of his hamburger. Omi looked at Ken for little while longer, as if he expected Ken to say something.

"Sorry, just thinking," Ken shrugged, waving his hand at Omi's confused face. Omi shrugged and went for another chicken nugget distractedly with one eye still on Ken. Ken just smiled, rather content to watch Omi eat right now in the well-light dining area of MacDonald's. Omi was enough to make him forget Aya-chan and Sebastian, Aya and Yohji, everyone in the whole world except one person that Ken had really fallen in love with himself.

* * *

"Fabulous," Yohji muttered as he signed the check for the repair job on the broken window. It was late afternoon by now, the sky stained orange with the pollution of the city. Traffic was still rushing by, people going to places that Yohji cold only imagine about. Goodbye, planned vacation. Hello, working his ass off in the flower shop to build up the savings account again.

He had really been looking for to a vacation as well. Yohji had secretly been planning to snatch Aya and take him out of the country for old-fashioned relaxation and some tender loving care. Yohji wanted to take Aya anywhere, just as long as it wasn't Japan where every street corner seemed to have a bad memory for the redhead. They didn't take many walks outside together. Aya was usually too skittish about being in a familiar place from that job.

Yohji tore the check out of his book and handed it to the repairman. The short, fat man nodded and took the check happily. The rich little bastard should be content with the ridiculous amount he had announced for the window repair job. Aya had said he called the cheapest place in town. Yohji didn't want to see the prices of other window repair shops if that was the lowest price.

"Thank you, sir," the man said as he walked out of the store with a check for several hundred dollars. Yohji was sure he didn't mean it. How had Aya managed to rope him into paying for this? Wasn't it a store expense? So what if Yohji had rushed forward like an amateur in a blind attempt to get Aya out of there? Who wouldn't react when a stranger tried to force his lover to give him a blowjob in the middle of the store? This was excessive punishment, in Yohji's mind.

Fuck. He had thought of Aya as a lover. Stupid. They weren't there yet, not by a long shot. Yohji rubbed his hands down his face and moaned at the thought of going back into the house. Aya was probably still pissed off about the argument over dinner. Ken and Omi were gone for at least most of the night at some restaurant with Aya-chan and Sebastian. Yohji had guessed as much when he saw the two motorcycles slowly pass through the store windows looking out on the street.

Yohji walked into the house, not wishing to hold off the inevitable. He might as well go in and try to ignore Aya. If he didn't say anything, how could Aya get mad at him? He could quietly watch some TV as an excuse to pay no attention to Aya. Yohji would probably kill Aya if he said one more rude or smart, flippant little comment. Yohji's bruised ego couldn't handle another blow.

It still burned, to be "so quick you were done before I even knew what was going on." Direct quote from the man himself from the middle of one of the more heated fights. Yohji could kill Aya and not feel the slightest bit of regret, except he had already invested so much time in Aya, he might as well wait out until then end. Eventually even Aya Fujimiya, the original snowman, would have to crack.

Yohji went back inside to the main house and toed off his shoes before stepping into his pair of house slippers left by the door. The hallway was eerily quiet and dark, the wood floor empty as Yohji's footsteps broke the silence. It felt like someone had died in here. It was exactly like walking into a tomb. Hopefully Aya was just reading. The man did seem to like his 'quiet time.' Or at least, enough silence to read a book without distraction.

Aya hadn't counted on Yohji being able to sit and stare at him for hours and hours. Yohji studied Aya's face with undivided attention and wondered how he have possibly been so lucky to wind up with someone so pretty. Yohji couldn't get over how beautiful Aya was, not understanding how he could have missed it before. And Aya would maul Yohji if he knew half of his thoughts.

Yohji couldn't forgive himself for not noticing Aya sooner. Had he been walking around with Aya-blinders on for the first few years they had worked together? Yohji constantly kicked himself for not getting there earlier. He couldn't help but wonder how things would have been different if he had only realized these feelings sooner. How could he have ignored the way his heart leapt up into his throat the first time Yohji had seen Aya without a shirt on?

Yohji turned around the kitchen door to look around for any sign of life. He saw no Aya cooking dinner in the clean kitchen. The counters were wiped down and everything was in its place, even the salt and pepper in the exact center of the table. Aya must have been cleaning again. None of them had ever done any more than wash the dishes, except Omi. But even the boy didn't take the extra effort to clean the grill vent underneath the refrigerator. That was something only Aya took the time to do.

Yohji walked out of the suspiciously clean kitchen to check the living room for another living creature, following the trail of tidiness through the house. It had gotten rather quiet in here, even for Aya. The man didn't say much at all, but he did make some noise. Yohji didn't hear a page of newspaper being folded over, or an intake of breath when Aya read something particularly interesting. The living room completely lacked any trace of Aya, and suddenly Yohji minded it very much.

Maybe walking in the door he had been planning to avoid Aya and the fighting that went along with him, but now that he didn't know where the redhead was… Yohji felt a familiar fear wrap around his heart. What if… just maybe Aya had been kidnapped from inside the house? Nothing was too bizarre anymore, after that last attack. Where was Aya?

Yohji couldn't even recall the last time he had even seen Aya. Oh, God, it had been more then an hour ago when he had left Aya alone in the house to take care of the window repairman. Maybe Aya was on the second floor. Sometimes Aya liked to wander around the place. Yohji just had to find the man. It was like hide-and-go-seek, except Yohji was sick with worry.

Don't start panicking until you've checked all the rooms, Yohji ordered himself calmly. Aya was likely taking a nap. There was no reason to get worked up until he at least checked his bedroom. Yohji was already two stairs up before he noticed a familiar head of red hair resting on the arm of the couch.

Yohji jumped down the stairs he had just climbed to rush over to the coffee table. Aya was resting his head on one of the throw pillows with one arm hidden in the cushions. Aya's eyes were closed as his chest rose and fell gently in sleep under one of Yohji's old sweaters. It made him feel strange to see Aya wearing something of his. He couldn't place the feeling, but he supposed it might be happiness as Yohji studied the bare feet showing underneath the hem of the pants. Yohji had never been interested with anyone's toes before but Aya's were incredibly neat. His toenails always trim and straight, filed down to hygienic perfection. Aya was meticulous like that about personal grooming and cleanliness.

He might be known for being a slob, but Yohji didn't mind Aya's neatness in the least. In fact, he was fascinated by it. He had learned little details like that about Aya just because he had stayed around and watched the man all the time. That was why Yohji had learned little things about Aya that nobody had ever known before. Had anyone had ever been as involved with Aya like Yohji was? Aya acted like nobody had ever taken the time to even learn his middle name.

It was times like these when Aya finally relaxed enough to fall asleep that he was really gorgeous. There wasn't a trace of that icy and exotic glare, but a gentle and content expression that was so more rare. Yohji grinned at the sleeping man, knowing that Aya was going to be out for the rest of the night. He had been right when he had told Aya to take a nap in the back of the car. Yohji knew that Aya had needed a nap; he could read the signs like an open book!

The man was out cold, fast asleep as soon as he stayed in one place long enough. Aya's bangs had fallen across his face and his lips were soft and relaxed, no longer forced into a displeased line. Yohji looked at the perfect white teeth behind the lips, remembering feeling them with his tongue and own mouth last night. He wanted to do it again. He wanted to do that and more, but didn't dare to even ask Aya if he would be all right with Yohji fucking him every hour of the day. Things were already touchy enough when it came to sex.

Aya slept through Yohji silently arguing with himself over the redhead, wondering if he should try to move Aya or not. Aya should at least be comfortable. Yohji wouldn't stand for him trying to spend the night alone on the couch. Aya deserved a mattress and some blankets, not a few pillows and borrowed clothes.

He slowly worked an arm under Aya's knees, ignoring it when the redhead's eyelids fluttered. He put a hand around the redhead's back and hefted Aya up against his chest with not as much as effort as he would like. Aya still wasn't as heavy as Yohji would like, no matter how many meals he forced down Aya's throat. Yohji would have much preferred it if he had to wait for Ken to come back home to help him haul a fat Aya up the stairs. That wouldn't worry him as much.

Yohji knew how painful it was to be dangerously skinny. He had finally noticed himself in the mirror years ago, realizing that he wasn't trim and lean like he thought. All Yohji had seen was a scrawny blonde with a cigarette in his mouth before it was even eight o'clock in the morning. He just couldn't keep the weight on, but at least he was healthy. Yohji would prefer Aya to be fatter than him.

"Yohji?" Aya asked in a drowsy voice with his eyelashes fluttering open. The redhead was an easy weight, folding his arms over his chest as Aya's head lolled onto Yohji's neck. Nope, someone was not awake enough to realize he was being carried out of the living room and up the stairs. He could have hauled Aya out the door right now and the man wouldn't even snore.

Yohji felt on top of the whole damn world. If it had been anyone else, Yohji just knew that Aya wouldn't have even let the person lay a finger on his honored skin. He was the last person in the world who deserved it, but Yohji had finally managed to gain the right to touch Aya even in his sleep. Patience did pay off. Eventually. The rewards were definitely small and few in between the screaming and crying, but every now and then Aya would show Yohji that he really trusted him. Like letting Yohji carry him up to the bedroom. It was worth dealing with the redhead's attitude everyday… Almost.

"Yeah, it's me," Yohji answered even though he really didn't need to. Aya already knew and was drifting asleep again as they reached the stairs. Aya's head rested against the blonde's shoulder for a moment before lolling forward until his chin hit his own chest. His head rolled against Yohji's chest with every step he took up the stairs, not minding the bumpy ride.

The newly fixed door was open, so all Yohji had to do was kick it with the heel of his boot. The door slammed shut and Aya didn't even blink at it, more than happy to sleep the rest of his life away in Yohji's arms. Not that he would have minded. He would have loved it if Aya wanted to be with him.

Their room was red with the setting of the sun, dark and casting lazy shadows around the room. Yohji decided that today's scheduled inventory after work was going to be pushed back till tomorrow. Who cared how much work they had been neglecting? When a roommate showed up on the back porch, raped and bleeding to death, some things could be forgotten about. What was work compared to Aya getting better?

Yohji lay Aya down gently on the bed, carefully holding Aya's head until he lowered the redhead to the pillow. Yohji put Aya's thin, bare feet up on the mattress before the there was a small groan from the redhead. He glanced up to see all of his hard work to not wake Aya up ruined as the man sat up straight on the bed and looked around wildly in confusion. It figured that Aya would be alarmed at the prospect of being comfortable in a bed.

"Yohji? You carried me?" Aya asked in bewilderment at being in his room when he had most certainly fallen asleep on the couch. Aya ran a hand through his hair, blinking around at their room before scratching at his eyes. So, the redhead didn't remember being carried up the stairs at all. Yohji had managed to carry Aya up the stairs without waking him up.

"Yeah. You were on the couch when I got back in," Yohji explained. He hadn't been about to leave Aya to the mercy of a sore neck when he woke up. Aya had suddenly developed the sleeping habits of a kitten, falling asleep anywhere and waking up if someone even sneezed near him. The man should learn to not fall asleep in beds and not in couches, chairs, cars, and even countertops when he drifted off in the middle of work.

"I can't believe that stupid fucking window cost so much!" Yohji cursed and crossed his arms as he stood over the mattress. Aya smirked at that, his eyes narrowing in cruel humor. Aya must like it when other people were miserable as well. That was the only way to explain why he seemed to think it was funny that Yohji was in danger of being broke. Well, at least there was a cap on his bar spending this week. Yohji was going to have to start saving up again.

"I suppose you deserve a reward," Aya drawled, being very un-Aya-like and… nice? He barely managed to stop from asking 'Are you drunk?' Yohji was pretty sure Aya hadn't had a chance to get drunk and he wasn't acting intoxicated. He was acting like… himself. It was normal to not understand why Aya did anything.

Yohji rubbed his chin with one hand to study Aya's deceptively small grin for honesty. Just what could he mean by reward? Aya wasn't the type of man who handed out thanks for a job well done. He yelled at you for doing it wrong. But, there didn't seem to be any masks in place right now. Was Aya actually cheerful for once in his life? Could it be possibly that the icy Fujimiya was in a good mood?

Aya looked up at Yohji with a deadpan face, those violet eyes an unnatural and unholy violet. The man combed back the bangs that had fallen into his face and smiled softly to himself as he put one elbow underneath him. Aya sat up a bit on the bed, inviting Yohji to sit down as well. Yohji shrugged, sighing as he took a seat on the side of the bed by Aya's thin, jean-covered legs.

"Still, you did pay for it. I could have," Aya started, looking away from Yohji to the pattern he was making with his finger on the comforter. Yohji knew Aya could have paid it. He had looked at Aya's impeccable bank records and nearly had a heart attack. Aya had sheets recording the amount paid for every job and what had been taken away by the pimp. Even though it was only fifty percent, half was still a large sum.

Yohji give a damn if it was an insane amount of money or not. He didn't care if a lifetime wouldn't be enough for Aya to spend it all by himself. Yohji didn't ever want to single cent of Aya's money. He would just feel sick if he did. Yohji knew how Aya had got the cash. He didn't care how much money was wasted, sitting untouched in the bank. Yohji would burn anything that was withdrawn from Aya's account.

"It was my fault anyway," Aya murmured, not meeting Yohji's eyes as he spoke such self-damning words. Since the bullet that had shattered the window was shot by one of Aya's old customers, it was his fault. So, Yohji shouldn't have paid for the new glass and installation when it should have been his burden alone. Yohji hated the way Aya saw fit to take on every bit of guilt he could.

"No, it was mine. You were right, I rushed in," Yohji admitted, not about to let Aya be alone in this guilt trip. He wouldn't allow Aya to stand alone with all the pain as usual. They had all been responsible of something at one point in their lives. Yohji had more sin than he cared to go on about at his feet. Hell, he was waist-deep in it. Aya… Aya was just a victim, but he couldn't accept the weakness that came with admitting it.

"You told me to," Yohji argued when Aya's face didn't change at all. He wasn't convincing Aya that it was his fault as well. The redhead refused to see the situation calmly. Yohji couldn't see where Aya was trying to go with this new bout of feeling like shit all the time. He said those thoughts out loud sometimes just to piss Yohji off. He was sure of it. How could Aya not know how he had felt like his heart had been ripped out when Aya had said 'I did it for you.' It still gave him nightmares, though nothing near Aya's own.

"Since when do you listen to me?" Aya asked angrily, knowing exactly what to say to piss Yohji off. Yohji wished he could ignore Aya but found it impossible to turn away from those violet eyes. What was the point of these fights anyway? It seemed just to start because Aya would never let anything drop. He just kept picking at Yohji until he finally exploded.

"All the time," Yohji answered back smartly. Not today. Aya would like it if Yohji started to yell at him. Because then he would be like everyone else who had ever 'loved' him. He wasn't about to let Aya get away that easily. Did he think he could escape Yohji and be left alone to mope about the place?

"Not even once," Aya snapped back, his face openly skeptical like it was humorous that Yohji was lying so badly. It was the most honest expression Aya had worn in all week long. Aya was letting his emotion into his face, reacting instead of going 'hnn' and turning away.

"Fine," Yohji hissed back, though he could have said a hundred different things. He could have told Aya what a poor fucking excuse this was for a reward, pointed out Aya was paranoid and caused fights all the time. Or, he could throw his hands up in the air and fall back to the mattress in frustration. That wouldn't hurt Aya's feelings half as much as the insults Yohji wanted to say. Aya was teaching Yohji to control his temper, in a sick way.

The hand on the top of his thigh was not what Yohji was expecting from Aya. He was used to either silence or a raging fit. He was not used to feeling Aya's weigh dip the mattress as he slid off, the blankets whispering as Aya went to his knees on the floor. Yohji glanced up over his chest to see Aya's shoulders between his legs, his eyes hidden underneath a neat fall of red bangs.

"Aya, what are you doing?" He asked slowly, pretty sure that this wasn't the usual sex fantasy. Aya's hand felt very real on the top of Yohji's leg, dangerously close to his hip. He couldn't be imagining this, sitting up straight as a board. Aya put another hand on his leg, like the redhead was ready to hold Yohji down if he tried to bolt. How could Aya even think Yohji would want to run away from this? There could be a nuclear bomb right outside the door and he wouldn't move right now.

"Your reward," Aya quipped mysteriously, his face even with Yohji's groin. He didn't need to say a word and Yohji knew exactly what the redhead had in mind. One pale hand was on the top button of Yohji's jeans, poised to open them up. Yohji held his breath, his mind completely blank at the shock of his favorite little dream coming true. How many times had he wished Aya wasn't so damn moody about anything that started with 'oral?'

"Wait… Aya," Yohji managed to grind out. Calm down. The redhead looked up at him in confusion, his eyes widening with his hand frozen in the act of pulling down Yohji's fly. Aya looked honestly hurt for a moment, Yohji's hesitation being read as immediate rejection. Aya was already sitting up on his heels to pull away.

Yohji grabbed Aya's wrists before the redhead had a chance to run. He didn't want Aya to give him a blowjob right now. It seemed like he'd be forcing Aya to do it, even if the man had been the one to suggest it. Sure, Aya seemed like he was more than willing, but Yohji could tell where there was worry showing all over his face.

For some reason, Aya felt like he had to prove to Yohji that he could do it. He didn't know where Aya might have gotten the idea that all he wanted was oral gratification. Not that Yohji hadn't fantasized about it when he was alone in the bathroom with only his right hand for comfort. Since Aya usually either outright refused Yohji or had freaked out when he had gone a little too far, he had plenty of time to create the perfection scenario.

He'd want Aya to do it naturally, the decision made all by himself. It would be one of those lazy summer days that would come after this, because Yohji figured he wouldn't have gotten that far with Aya until at least after winter. Yohji considered himself to be a good judge of how fast a relationship was going to move, and at this rate they weren't moving out of the domestic bedroom for a long time.

"I want… I want something else," he stammered, lost in his own thoughts, lost in the violet depths of Aya's wide and frightened eyes. He felt like a fool, all of that experience gone when he tried to talk to Aya. Yohji felt like he was clumsily pinning a butterfly on the wall half the time when he talked with Aya. The redhead looked ready to run away, horrified at what Yohji might suggest. He could almost laugh out how scared the once fearless Aya Fujimiya looked now, if it didn't make him feel so sick.

"Come here, Aya," Yohji said softly, regain his confidence. If he looked unsure in front of Aya, what reason would he have to trust Yohji? He had to show Aya that everything would be all right. He didn't mean to alarm Aya so. He would have thought Aya would be relieved that he didn't have to give Yohji a 'reward,' if that what Aya's idea of one was.

Yohji pulled Aya to his feet by gently tugging at the redhead's wrist. Silently, Aya rose up and sat down stiffly next to Yohji on the mattress, a safe space between them. Yohji smiled at how uncomfortable and nervous Aya looked right now, tensing like he expected a physical attack.

"As my reward, I want you to take a nap," Yohji demanding, shaking a finger at Aya's astounded face. He looked blown away that Yohji had said 'no' to him, his eyebrows shooting up. Yohji only smirked, knowing he would get Aya to do it someday in the future. Why throw away any chance for it to be something special? Yohji wanted them to make love, not just exchange fucking for favors.

"Wh… What?" Aya was the one who stammered now, shaking his head in shock. He had obviously never been refused and if Yohji didn't know any better, he would say Aya looked offended, his eyebrows coming together in anger. Yohji could see Aya's cheeks starting to flush with anger already, the emotions easy to recognize now that Aya finally let someone see them.

Yeah, that's right, you're not the most irresistible piece of ass to walk my way, Yohji defend lamely, knowing it was feeble. He wanted to be with Aya forever. He wanted to screw in the retirement home together. He loved Aya enough to be patient for once. Yohji knew that if they had sex this early in the night, this soon after finally getting Aya to trust him enough, he would have thrown what all that frustration and annoyance had managed to earn him. Aya was eventually going to have to either bend or break with the pressure Yohji made.

Who knew loving someone could be so hard? He hoped that Aya would be able to come to his senses and realize that Yohji wasn't leaving him anytime soon, but knowing what a stubborn bastard Aya was… It was hard to see Aya stop using that strained, fucked-up logic of his. Aya was used to everyone being an enemy and felt if he changed it, he'd get betrayed. Not that Aya didn't have full reason to think like that.

"Aya, just relax. Lay back," Yohji suggested, falling heavily back onto the mattress sideways. Aya looked down at him in disgusted curiosity, like the way people looked at animals in the zoo. Yohji only grinned and waited, the last bit of the sunset filtering into their window. He could already see streetlights turning on in the dusk of the city, smoke and pollution staining the sky a blood red.

Aya sighed and reluctantly flopped back on the mattress next to Yohji, his lips pursed as stared up straight at the ceiling. They both looked up at the plaster silently, Yohji noticing for the first time that there were some stains on the ceiling. Must have been from all the cigarettes he tried to sneak in his room when Omi had gone all crazy about 'healthy lungs.'

"What?" Aya asked suddenly, his voice hot with irritation as he snapped his sideways to glare at Yohji. One ear tail curled under his cheek, framing pale skin against the plain white of the comforter. His eyes were narrowed, the scar over his eyebrow no longer quite as noticeable. That didn't make it any better. Aya was still blemished, the perfection Yohji could have had if he only recognized the signs that Aya had been slowly dying.

"I love you," Yohji explained. Wasn't that enough reason to stare at Aya in shock that a man could look so gorgeous? Yohji had never been so moved by pure looks alone. Usually his partners were good in bed as well. Aya didn't even know where the bed was. But, once you lead him there, Aya was the most satisfying lay Yohji had in years.

Aya opened his mouth before turning away to present the back of his head. Aya couldn't say anything back to Yohji, silent when it came to the sensitive topic of 'love.' How could Yohji get Aya to feel an emotion that he didn't even think existed? Aya-chan had been Aya's last shred of evidence that people were worth loving, and she had throw that trust out the window when he started to date Sebastian. No matter how bad the world got, Aya had always been able to point at Aya-chan and say 'At least she's still good and honest.' And now that image was completely shattered.

Yohji reached out to put the tips of his fingers on Aya's hair. Gently, he combed through the incredibly soft strands, wondering at the feel of it. This is what Yohji wanted out of Aya. He didn't care if Aya couldn't say 'I love you.' It meant more to Yohji that Aya wasn't throwing him out of the room right now for daring to touch his hair. He wanted to bed with Aya, on their bed, in their room.

He wouldn't let Aya go, not now, not ever. Nothing Aya could not say or what he did say to try driving Yohji off. Because Yohji knew he had spent too much time trying to fix that God-awful personality of Aya's, and he wasn't about to throw all that hard labor away in a moment of anger because the redhead couldn't say his feelings out loud. He showed them in other ways that Yohji had just begun to figure out, like how an arm went over Yohji's stomach and the redhead sighed loudly, too spent to argue anymore

Sometimes actions could speak louder then words as Aya tried to smile at Yohji, faint and sick but so much more. Aya would try to smile for him, and maybe one day he would actually mean it. One day, Yohji would make sure to get the smile to reach Aya's eyes. It had been so long since he had laughed, smiled without looked like it pained him. They had lots of time, forever and ever to work on it. Yohji would make sure to see Aya's happiness again.

For now though, he put one arm over Aya's hip and pulled the man up against him on the bed. He snuggled chest to chest with the man like they were children again, nuzzling Aya's neck. He didn't kiss it, as much as he wanted to. He just liked the feeling of Aya's skin, the smell of the soap Aya used. Aya didn't move away, relaxing as his breathing started to calm and slow down immediately.

They could sleep together and Aya wasn't nervous. He wouldn't have to fear Yohji trying to take him in the middle of the night. Yohji preferred the sex awake and aware when he did it. When he was with Aya, the sex was absolutely mind-blowing and the first few minutes afterwards were just as rewarding. Nothing was better then seeing the redhead at a loss of words when usually he was so cold and rude, too tired to be a smart ass. He looked at peace for once, the anxiety and tenseness gone, leaving only an incredible fragile man in its place.

The real Aya underneath all the masks and attitude entranced Yohji. He loved Aya's secret shyness when the man had always been straightforward and bold. All of the contradictions that Aya was made of were a mystery to Yohji. He wanted to find out what was real, what was the act, until he was left with the true Aya. Amazing that he was the one who wanted the steady relationship when Aya seemed to prefer it if they just fucked and separated. Yohji finally had found someone that he could stay with.

Yohji couldn't foresee them breaking up anytime soon, his cheek pressed against Aya's hair. He didn't have to fear Aya dying like all the other serious relationship he had. Aya may be fragile right now, but he would still survive through the worst as he had proven once again. Aya could more then take care of himself. It was just that Yohji had gotten used to taking care of Aya. He kind of… liked it.

He snickered into Aya's ear, making the man squirm and twist his neck away from the ticklish feeling. Yohji stopped immediately, not wanting to give Aya a reason to move away. Who would believe it that Yohji Kudoh was being held by the balls by another person, much less his ex-leader? All of the women and men that he had before wouldn't be able to believe it.

He didn't give a shit about what the old tumbles thought about him anymore either. All that cheating and lying had been forgotten forever, as long as he stayed with Aya. He had promised not to hurt Aya and to never leave him. Yohji had meant the part about 'never,' probably wanting it more than Aya knew.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: To cover my ass this time, I have no idea what kind of motorcycle Omi has… I can't even remember if it's a two-seater or not, so either I'm wrong or we can pretend Omi's original bike was lost in an tragic explosion involving a drunk Yohji and Ken and a really bad idea. Ah, so easily tied up! And I KNOW there are MacDonald's in Japan, there was a study on how the Japanese are getting fatter since the introduction of American culture and fast food!! I hate MacDonald's, actually. I'm vegetarian and haven't seen a fast food joint in years. Last time I did I was sick all over the place (details you totally don't want to know). I probably should watch WeiB Kruez again, I feel like I'm losing touch, but right now it's all about Mahoromatic and Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. And Digimon Frontier, of course! 'Damaged' by ATB and George Acosta and the ending theme to King of Bandit Jing are also good. And everyone, I'm so sorry, please be patient with me. I know this is taking a long time, but descriptions take time. I swear there is retribution coming for Sebastian and Aya-chan; it's just in-the-works right now. There is an end, over that hill… and the one after that. And all those dunes too after that…

AUTHOR'S PS- I'll explain more of my thinking this time since people don't seem to be liking where the turn of events lately (and trust me, I'm more sick of writing this long thing then you're tired of reading it. I'm sorry it turned out this way!! >_<)… … … Okay, there is no thinking (cough). I just wanted Ken and Omi to have a chance to show what they think about Aya and Yohji's relationship.