Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Forgiveness ❯ Love ( Chapter 7 )

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, there would be more actual talking! And not just about what they are doing in duels!

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Yami was still for a long time after Kaiba kissed him. Kaiba just held him, feeling the shock, and confusion, and…the emotion was too complex to identify, but it kept Kaiba from worrying. Whatever was going to happen, Yami wasn't going to hate him for it.

"Kaiba…" Yami finally spoke aloud. "This is…why? You barely know me…I don't…I don't know what to do about this. It's just…I want to be loved, I need someone to care about me right now. I feel…grateful, and I think…I don't really know what I feel about you."

He stayed silent for a little while longer, thinking. His mind was so controlled that Kaiba could feel only the occasional flashes of wondering, determination to know what was going on in his chaotic heart.

"I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't do that to anyone. I wouldn't say I loved you just so you would love me back, but I want you to love me…Why? Is it just because part of me doesn't want to die and I want an excuse? I feel…"

"What do you feel?" Kaiba spoke aloud, because Yami seemed to feel the need to. Perhaps he wanted things to be as if there was no link, just two people…perhaps because his thoughts were so confused the blurriness of words was actually clearer. Perhaps the act of phrasing his thoughts helped clarify them.

"I feel…the first impression I had of you, was from Yugi's memories. I was given them when I was brought to life…he admired you. How you were alone, as he was except for Tea, but you wanted it that way, it didn't affect you…And then I saw you, when you stole the card and I awoke to get it back…and I saw how it was a front, how you were lonely and while you told yourself the cards were mere power, something in you wanted the Blue-Eyes, needed it. And it valued you as well. It refused to aid you, destroyed itself, rather than let you go down a path of error."

Yami paused then, searching for more words. "And then…I wanted to show you that others were important, had feelings, that you did as well. And so I sent you to meet your cards, and let them have their revenge on you for how you used them, so you would treat them with respect…and perhaps, begin to respect yourself, for if cards are worth more than the victories they can bring, so too are you worthy by yourself. You seemed so lost, so convinced of your worthlessness you needed to beat others into the dust to prove yourself superior to them. Did you hear what I told you? That I hoped you would become stronger? I truly wished that. I wanted to help you."

Kaiba was surprised, but not surprised. Surprised that anyone would want to help someone who treated people as he had treated Yugi, who Yami loved, and not surprised because…this was Yami. He cared about others more than he did himself. A truly unselfish person. `I want to keep him, if only for the rarity value.' He smirked. "Go on."

"You truly did have the potential to be great. The Blue-Eyes believed in you, even if you didn't believe in yourself. And later, Mokuba…he wanted to defend you. Wanted to beat into the dirt the one who had beaten you, made you doubt yourself. Badly enough to cheat."

Kaiba sighed. "I haven't exactly been a very good example. At Death-T…"

"In the laser-tag like game. You gave us bad equipment. I know. And you did not truly draw the Blue-Eyes, in our first duel. But before that…I was so frustrated. I had given you that punishment to teach you, to help you. But you did it to an old man, knowing you might kill him. It made a mockery of all I had tried to do for you. I was so angry…but I still knew that you had a reason, that you were warped out of shape into something almost unrecognisable, but you still could be saved. I wanted to save you."

Yami sighed. "Yugi…I was so proud of him. He won all those games by himself, with the help of the friends he had won by being who he is. And then…he lost it when he thought you had killed Tristan, but he refused to let me take over. He was afraid of scaring his friends. But they told him they would stand by him no matter what, and later…he called me out. To face Mokuba. I was so happy that he wanted me to help him…" Tears began running down his face again.

"Shhh, shhh,…" Kaiba held Yami tighter, and sort of… reached out, with his mind. Enfolded Yami's mind in his, holding it steady. ---Shhh. Don't worry. He'll forgive you, I'll make sure of it. I want you to be happy. And I always get what I want, remember?---

--Kaiba…-- Bone-deep relief. Relaxing into his shoulder, into the support of his mind.

Kaiba smiled. `He's accepting my help? That's a first. I think I've won this." Smirk. Careful, keep this from going down the link. It was perhaps not so odd, how quickly it had become second nature to take the link into consideration. It was just…right. Tying the one he loved to him. `And no way I'm losing him. I won't let him die. I'll make him happy.'

"You…you know I love Yugi and you still want us to be together?"

"Yes, I know. Incredibly stupid, isn't it. Sappy, too. I can't believe myself. Well? Go on. I love people talking about me."

"You gave Mokuba the punishment game as well…because you said he was weak. The pot calling the kettle. The only one who cared about you, and you were trying to make him hate you…did you truly feel so unworthy, that you didn't want him to waste his time on you? Mokuba pled for me to forgive you. He still truly believed in you, waiting and hoping for you to return to the caring big brother who refused to leave the orphanage without him. Who had gone through hell at Gozaburo's hands to win a good life for him."

Yami paused. -Will…will you let me see?-

---…Yes. You and only you.--- Kaiba opened the doors in his mind, the ones he had sealed the memories behind, and only now had begun to open. Exhaustion, a drawing of a Blue-Eyes that had saved him…

"So, that is why you value the Blue-Eyes so. It is your brother's love to you. No wonder you would not let it rest in the hands of another."

"Finding excuses for me? I was a complete jerk, stealing it and doing all that…"

"I would never give someone an excuse. There are no excuses, only reasons. Good and bad. The issue is, did you examine your reasons enough to see what kind they were? And you had gone so long without truly looking at yourself, knowing what you would see…" Sympathy. Caring, echoing down the link. Acceptance of the things Kaiba had done in his error. Recognition that Kaiba had changed, and admiration of the strength that had taken.

"And then? At Death-T? What did you do?"

"We…out of the events of our life, and our instincts and selves, we form patterns, habits. Methods of thought, that have served us well, or at least we believed did so. I broke your…call it your personality. And left you to build a new one from the shards, giving you a chance to choose again. Somehow…I knew you would choose right."

A gentle sigh into his shoulder. "And then…damn Pegasus. Damn him. He too, must have had reasons. Everyone does. But…I can't find any sympathy for him. It must have been horrible, what drove him to find comfort in other's pain. Yet…I can't keep myself from hating him."

"You shouldn't try. He was a complete bastard." Kaiba's eyes narrowed and his hands, holding Yami's clothing, turned to fists.

"Ow! Kaiba!"

"Sorry. You're a saint, you know that? Caring so much about people, why instead of what…and you still wonder? Why I won't let you die? Why Mokuba wouldn't kill you? Everything you do is for others. You're a complete idiot, you know that. Selfishness keeps you alive."

Laugh. "I guess you're right. Your selfishness is keeping me alive. But it's not exactly in your best interests. I did try to kill you."

"And I know why you did. I was willing to die, for a chance to rescue Mokuba. I thought winning would give me that chance, but it lost it for me. I beat you, and lost everything. Lost Mokuba's chance of being rescued by you and Yugi, by driving a wedge between you. I was willing to die to save him. And dying would have saved him. You knew that. Yugi didn't."

Kaiba sighed, ashamed. "You should hate me, you know that. You should be trying to claw my face off, for making the person you love hate you."

"Kaiba…"

"What?"

"I think…I think I do love you. Isn't it ironic that I'm not sure? I can understand everyone else, but not myself."

"Probably because you don't care enough to look. Idiot."

Smile.

"But…I love Yugi as well. Yet…it's not the same thing."

"It isn't?" Not knowing whether to be hopeful or crushed.

"Yugi…we are one."

"What?"

"Not metaphorically. Literally. I can see souls, Kaiba. And mine and Yugi's…are too similar to be a coincidence. And…there are ragged edges, and they fit together…when we dueled, we were one. It was impossible to tell where I ended and he began. I long for him, Kaiba, as the missing half of my soul. I am meant to be with him. Soulmates. Literally. Yet…you…I have no choice in loving Yugi. You…" He pulled back and looked into Kaiba's eyes. "You…I choose to love." And kissed him.

Kaiba stilled. He couldn't believe it. Was he dreaming? That had to be it. Nothing this good ever happened to him. But take advantage of it while it lasts.

Laughter, inside his mind.-This is no dream, Kaiba.-

Yami pulled back, waiting for his response. He looked concerned, and caring, and just so…

"Yami…" Words were not enough. He couldn't say this out loud. ---Just for tonight…could you pretend? Pretend I'm the one you need, the one you were made for? The one you love truly? Please?---

Yami's eyes blazed. Horror and anger mingled on his face, echoed through the link.

"I'm so sorry." Kaiba whispered. "I should have known I wouldn't be enough."

--Kaiba, have you been listening to a single goddamn word I have said? I. Love. You. Using you as a substitute, a cheap whore…you truly think I would do that?!---

Yami was screaming, inside his mind. Kaiba cringed. ---I'm sorry! I just…I just wanted…---

Yami's face softened. He gathered Kaiba in his arms, their roles reversed. --Who told you that you weren't good enough to be loved for yourself? That you had to take the place of someone else to be valued? You've been a parent to Mokuba, the son he didn't have to Gozaburo…Kaiba, I love you. You don't need to be Yugi for me. Just be yourself. Please?-

Yami kissed him again, capturing his lips.

---Mmmm…Yes!---

Laugh. -Kaiba…you've done so much for me. Let tonight be my gift to you. Let me prove to myself I can make you happy. Whatever you want, we will do, unless it would harm you.-

---Aren't you going to say or harm you?---

Laugh. -I trust you, Kaiba.-

---…I love you, Yami.---

A tongue flicked against his lips as he wished for more, and he parted his lips and tasted night. Hands stroked his hair, pulling him close. He wanted, needed, to be close. Closer. He tugged at the jacket and with a laugh it disappeared. He stood up and pulled Yami against him, leaning down to claim his lips.

His trenchcoat and shirt, and Yami's shirt as well, disappeared and he moaned into Yami's mouth at the feel of skin on skin…warm and held and wanted and so good, what he'd missed, what he'd longed for but thought forever denied him…Yami fell back and Kaiba pressed him against…what was the bed doing there? They'd moved…magic. Whatever he wanted…

Breaking for air and Yami attacked his neck and moan and squirm and so so good…Strong hands pulling him down, stroking his back and reaching down to pull him up so he was covering Yami completely and weren't they on the edge of the bed instead of the middle?

Still too many clothes…but as soon as he thought that they were gone and he was exposed and he was frightened for a moment, vulnerable, but a caring laugh in his mind and he joined in. How could he be afraid of his guardian angel? His and his and mmmm…

Skin on skin and warmth and caring caressed all over his body and mind and being flipped over and Yami covering him now, shielding him and guarding him and hiding him…why were the lights still on? There we go…

Lips tracing down and he bit his lip and whimpered with pain and pleasure as Yami pulled at a nipple with his teeth, but the pain went away and his lip was healed and Yami concerned in his mind asking was he alright, love? Sorry…don't be.

Teasing the other nipple with his fingers and straddling him and moving his hips and so so good…gasping, panting, more, more…

Deciding the hell with being submissive and flipping Yami over and laughter and knowledge pouring into his mind when he realized he didn't know what to do and was scared he wouldn't please Yami…

Sucking and nipping at Yami's neck hard to mark him. Mine! And mine and mine forever and ever. Yami's mind open, letting him know he was doing this right, himself pleased he was pleasing him, and laughter and of course you please me, you make me happy…love.

Moans and writhing and slippery with sweat and getting hot and wanting…needing…

Concern in his mind, and are you sure you want it to be this way? I can, I'm willing…

Need and want and another kind laugh, a loving one, as you wish and no, I won't let it hurt, I would never hurt you.

Never.

On his back again and a warm mouth claiming his, coaxing him into another duel, eternal rivals, right? Yes, love.

A finger sliding in, and no, it didn't hurt, but he hadn't thought it would, he trusted Yami and Yami had promised him…

It felt…good. Stretching, but like stretching out his back after a day spent sitting in front of the computer, and he'd have to do less of that, he had something better to do now.

He'd always had stuff to do that was just as important. He'd been so stupid, but Yami still loved him, and he was so lucky, and Yami's laugh in his mind, he was laughing a lot, I'm laughing with you. Come on, this is supposed to be fun, and his finger brushed something inside him, and he screamed…

Damn! What if Mokuba had heard that? But before the mood could be ruined, don't worry, I shielded the room. Trust me.

He panted, and another finger slipped in, and he had to keep still, he heard dimly as he wiggled in pleasure, I don't want to hurt you, even if you wouldn't feel it and I could heal it.

Yami's thought? It was getting so hard to tell the difference. He couldn't concentrate on anything but how good this was, so much better than he'd dreamed in lonely nights, so many and never again, love.

Love.

A hand ghosting over his thighs, and he didn't notice as a third finger slipped in, the touch was so light and teasing, barely there and in the wrong place and MOVE, dammit!

As you wish, and fingers traced him, so lightly, so gently, so soooo good as fingers moved in and out and the kiss left his mouth and a hot warmth descended on him and he tried to thrust into it, but was held down with the free hand as the warmth descended further as he bumped into the back of it and fingers thrust into the spot that made him scream with pleasure.

But warmth was removed, we can do this later, let's get back to what you wanted, love, and a last kiss at his tip and something big was in his entrance, and he wanted and wanted so much, but entering so slowly and he wrapped his legs around Yami and pulled him in, Now!

And full in body and mind, and Yami panting above him with the effort of holding still, and move but I don't want to hurt you, I would never hurt you, and a kiss and nip on his chest.

And finally he felt himself relax, and finally, and so slow and so good, he was out of his mind with bliss, but still he wanted more, More!

And fast and pounding into him and scream after scream and he'd finally made Yami lose control and he laughed and they laughed and are you trying to get me to slow down, love? I can. Don't!

No, I said I'd do what you wanted. Thank you so much, dark wonderful love.

And close, so close, to something he longed for and rushed toward, and remembered from lonely nights, but so much better and he was babbling in his mind, word after word…

---Yesyesyesmoremoredon'tstoplovepleaseohpleasesogoodgoodgoodlo veyousomuchperfectpreciousbeautifulminedarkoneYamistayforeveryoucan'tleaveI won'tletyoumine!---

And no, I'd never leave you. Laughter clean and clear ringing out in his mind and had he ever laughed for real, just because he was having so so so much fun and wanted others to know it?

And scream out the name of his love, who had made him feel so goodperfectcomplete and collapse exhausted and opening his eyes and beautiful Yami leaning on his elbows above him and tired out already and one more thrust and a silent scream, seeing him arch like that in extascy and knowing he had caused it…

And panting and curled up on his chest and licking his neck and asking -Well?-

---OH god! So good… Thank you thank you so much! You love me you do you really do…---

--Of course I do. I may bluff, but I never lie.-Another lick, slow and caring, wanting to taste all of him and -Do you want to go again?- Teasing.

---You can still MOVE?!---

Laugh. -Magic, remember? I can do whatever you want.-

---Not tonight, Yami. Too tired…---

--Sleep, love. I'll stay with you and watch over you and keep you safe forever and ever.-

Curled up next to him and calming and he could feel himself fading away already…Funny. It always took him forever to fall asleep, he couldn't relax…but what could be more relaxing than this?

Twin breaths in unison, in the peaceful night. Wrapped around each other, impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. But who needed boundaries, when they had found love?

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The complete version will be posted on Mediaminer as soon as I write it. My username is Laryna6 there too. Sorry! Don't want to get kicked off. What do you think? This is my first except for Yugi's dream earlier in the story. Review and let me know, pretty please with sugar on top?

Chibi Pharaoh Yami: Here you go!

Y-n-Y: Thanks! I try.

SilverWing147: Yugi soon! Next chappie or chappie after.

LadySaturnGirl: Yeah, I know. It annoys me too. Here you go! Like?

Kawaii Chibi Yami: I've taken your suggestion. This good? Thanks for the compliment, and here you go!

Pharaoh Atemu's Angel: Here you go. And thanks, and Yugi soon! Glad everyone likes my Yugi and wants to see!

Michew: Thanks! I love my Mediaminer reviewers. Hint hint. Review the lemon!