Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Forgiveness ❯ Perfection ( Chapter 18 )

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Seto would have been adopted by Solomon. Two gamer grandsons, the man would have been thrilled.

 

Seto has all the symptoms of Asperger Syndrome. Difficulty communicating, dislike of socializing, getting obsessed…So did Yamaki from Digimon Tamers. Tell me the incessant cigarette lighter-flicking wasn't a stim!

 

Oh, and Japanese people have school on Saturdays.

 

Sorry about huge delays, no internet access for laptop while at home.

 

VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV AVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV

 

When Seto woke up, Yami was still there, sprawled out beneath him. He just looked. It was a Sunday morning, so he didn't have anywhere to go. \Yami was so beautiful… but after a while, he frowned.

 

Seto had never been the best at reading people. It was like everyone else had this code book, that no one had ever given him a copy of. He gave orders; he didn't communicate. Now that the Big Five were gone, he was going to have to get good negotiators fast. But even he could tell… something was wrong.

 

Yami looked so tired, so old… Seto reached down to kiss his cheek. He was so cold…

 

“Yami?” No response. ---Yami! Answer me!---

 

“Mmmph…” Yami's eyelids opened on the third try. “Seto…” -What's wrong?—

 

Seto sighed in relief, and rested his cheek against Yami's. ---You weren't answering.---

 

Yami nuzzled Seto. Seto was a little jealous. How could everything he did be elegant? -I'm sorry, love.—

 

---You look sick. Are you alright?---

 

--I can't get sick. Don't worry.—Yami stilled suddenly, then sighed. -I'm sorry.—

 

---What for?---

 

--I just almost lied to you. No, I did lie. A lie of omission is still a lie. I can't get sick. But I'm not well either.—

 

Seto pulled back far enough to see Yami's sorrowful eyes while his arms reflexively tightened around him. ---What's wrong!?---

 

--Promise me you won't hate me. No, I can't ask that, can I? I have betrayed you as surely as I have betrayed Yugi.—

 

Seto's eyes widened. No. No, it couldn't be. Everyone, everyone else betrayed him. Now, he'd finally let someone in, and they… No! Gozaburo couldn't have been right! ---Explain.---

 

--I promised you I would stay with you, yet… I am a shadow. A shadow is cast by light, I should have known that. I made my promise in good faith. I never meant to hurt you, Seto. Please believe that!—Tears were glimmering in the corners of Yami's eyes.

 

---You're dying.---

 

--I'm sorry.—A sigh, and those beautiful eyes closed.

 

---Don't be sorry, goddamn you!--- Seto picked him up and shook him. ---I'm not letting you die on me, do you hear me! I won't have it!---

 

Yami's eyes snapped open, shocked. -Seto.—

 

---What do I have to do? How can I save you!? Tell me!---

 

--I… I have to be bonded to Yugi again. But… a bond cannot be forged unwillingly. He has to want me back. And… I do not see how that is possible. I can't seem to convince him to forgive me. What I did was inexcusable. I deserve to die for it. I was and am willing, except that it would hurt you.—The tears were falling freely now. -I don't want to hurt you. Please believe me.—

 

---I believe you, Yami.---Seto hugged him tight, rocking slowly. ---How long do we have?---

 

--I don't know. I'm much worse now than I was last night, I think because of staying embodied for so long.—

 

---So get rid of the body.--- Seto got out of bed and began to get dressed, giving Yami a mental hug. His eyes were narrowed.

 

--If I dematerialize, I won't be able to create another. It takes a lot of energy to run the process. You can recover most of it, so dematerializing and rematerializing isn't a big energy drain, but if you don't have enough energy to run the process… and it's getting harder to concentrate, so I wouldn't be able to do it very efficiently.—

 

---What exactly do you do? Do you transform air molecules into tissues?---

 

--…I suppose that would be technically possible, but it's much simpler to just create the matter needed.—

 

---Wha? That's impossible! What about the conservation of matter and energy?—

 

--That only applies to physical reactions. It's like alchemy. It's impossible to turn lead into gold by a chemical reaction, but changing one atom into a different one happens all the time in nuclear reactions, or so I understand. It's a different level of understanding of the universe. Or universes, actually.—

 

---… Nevermind that for now. Can you still make yourself presentable?---

 

--Yes. Fixing clothes is much less difficult than building something you plan to place your soul inside. You have to be careful nothing else moves in. But why?— Yami thought, yawning.

 

---We're going to Yugi's.--- Seto finished throwing his clothes on, and was out the door.

 

In a flash, Yami followed him. “What! Seto…” He stumbled.

 

Seto turned just in time to see Yami's head hit the marble floor. ---Yami!---

 

Shadows swirled, and Yami straightened up. -I'm alright, Seto love.—

 

The shadows hadn't dissipated. Seto ran up to Yami and grabbed him, even though the shadows made him remember being trapped in darkness. ---What's happening?---

 

--Without the light to balance it, my power is running wild. It will soon begin to encroach on my… personality, you would say. The part of me that is me, Yami, will fade away. I will become merely a spirit of shadows, not a human at all… Yugi!—Yami grabbed Seto and met his eyes. His eyes were filled with alarm. -Get me to him!—

 

Seto picked Yami up and ran for the garage. No time for a chauffeur. ---What's going on?---

 

--Yugi is a power of light! If his power awakens, without a human conscience to hold it back… light cannot stand even the slightest darkness! He'll vaporize the planet! That's why all souls are mixtures, light to fight and shadow to protect, and darkness that we know we are imperfect, to keep us human! To be pure is dangerous! My darkness, the flaws that make me an individual… they are dissolving slowly, eroded by the tides of my power. Yugi… his light is going to be fighting his darkness actively!—

 

VAVAVAVAVAV

 

He was nothing.

 

He was weak.

 

All those bullies… he had let them walk all over him. Let evil go unpunished. Needed another to do for him what he should have done on his own.

 

It was unforgivable.

 

He was so hot, burning up… he was becoming irrational, snapping at Grandpa.

 

The old man was a pervert.

 

But… he didn't deserve… whatever had happened to his hand, when he'd touched him. If he was that hot, why weren't the sheets burning?

 

Was this something Yami had done?

 

No, Yami hadn't done anything. He could see, he could see everything, and Yami hadn't cast any spells on him. That was Truth.

 

He could see darkness in his Grandpa. He could see darkness everywhere he looked, and it was wrong, so wrong, it made his skin crawl and it was so sickening he threw up, and that was filthy but there was still filth inside him, he could see darkness swirling under his skin and he tried to claw it out but it didn't come out with the blood…

 

He ran to the bathroom and got in the shower and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed but he couldn't get clean, the water itself was dirty, there were poisons and germs in it, he could see them all… heat up the water, kill them all! Mustn't let them touch him and get him all dirty, but he was dirty and filthy and unclean…

 

Every thing he'd ever done wrong was replaying in front of his eyes, and he couldn't close them. Everything the human race had ever done wrong. They were EVIL. How could he not have seen?

 

VAVAVAVAVAV

 

Seto's vision was going. Yami had to sit in his lap and drive, he'd taken the knowledge out of Seto's head.

 

This was what shadows did. Hid things. And it was wonderful.

 

He couldn't feel anything but Yami. Couldn't feel anger or hate or sadness or failure. He was adrift in a sea of caring, his soul caressed, his cares and sadness falling away…

 

Light was truth was knowledge was memory. If this kept up, he would forget who he was.

 

Even that he was a-person-loved-by-Yami. And that scared him more than anything. He was scared, so he clung more tightly to... the dark one.

 

But slowly the process stopped. They were getting closer.

 

Suddenly Yami braked and flung himself out the door. Seto shook himself awake and followed.

 

VAVAVAVAVAV

 

Yami ran right past Solomon, who was running his hand under the cold water faucet. He could feel Seto behind him, but in front of him was his Aibou, and it had been so long, he needed him so much…

 

VAVAVAVAVAV

 

As the distance between him and Yami increased, Seto screamed and fell to the ground. He knew.

 

He had hurt Mokuba. Designed the weapons that slaughtered countless innocents. He was evil. He was nothing.

 

Yami.

 

He needed Yami.

 

But he didn't deserve Yami.

 

VAVAVAVAVAV

 

Yami finally flung the last door out of his way, and there he was, at last! But his eyes were glowing gold, and so was his skin… so delicious!

 

Yami tackled him. And the light devoured the last of his darkness. And his shadows eroded the last of Yugi's.

 

VAVAVAVAVAV

 

And before he could bring the knife to his throat, he saw both less and more. He saw his promise.

 

He knew how everything he had done, he had done for Mokuba. He knew he had done the best he could. He had needed help, but who didn't, sometimes?

 

He was loved. He was worthy. His sins were forgiven and forgotten.

 

And he laughed and laughed. But after a while, he followed the old man up to Yugi's room.

 

They were gone.

 

Gone.

 

They ransacked the house. Nothing. His bond was dead.

 

He cradled the puzzle and wept. A broken child.

 

VAVAVAVAVAV

 

Oh sweet Ra.

 

Beautiful light… that was where his memories had been all along. How could he not have seen it?

 

Within his sweet other. Light was truth was knowledge was memory.

 

And now he swam in that light, and he could feel his other move within him.

 

And he was forgiven. His other knew, and forgave. And loved him.

 

Hathor's ecstasy.

 

They were at last in the realm of the gods. No darkness here, no pain. He wanted to stay here forever.

 

But as he thought that, he felt himself thrown out. Why, why was there again darkness within him?

 

A promise. He had wished to break a promise.

 

And the darkness manifested as sadness and anger. The anger he quashed, Yami quashed, but the sadness… to return to the realm of suffering, to be forever without his light…

 

The bright one felt him slipping away, and was tainted by sadness. And then anger, at Yami's disgust at himself, for being the cause of the corruption of such a being.

 

-It's not your fault. This way, we can all be happy. It's my fault. I'm so sorry, Yami.-

 

As they gazed at the earth spread out beneath them, Yami smiled. -Don't be, little one. Now, let's go find our love.—

 

Yugi nodded. -But… how long has it been?-

 

Yami smiled. -As long as we chose it to have been.—

 

And Seto's arms were full of Yami, kissing and marking his neck, and Yugi apologetically healed his Grandpa's hands, and then gazed shyly up at Seto, who at Yami's nudge spread his arms wider and was glomped by a very happy Yugi.

 

And Solomon watched and wondered why he wasn't unhappy.

 

Seto had destroyed the gift of his friend. He had thought he would never forgive him. Just this morning, he had taken out that broken card and dreaded explaining its fate.

 

But… he had forgiven the boy.

 

Who knew.

 

And his Grandson was so happy in his arms, giggling as Yami tickled him, laughing and crying and looking like he was perfect, where he had belonged all along.

 

So bright. He'd been bright earlier, when he'd burned to the touch. The light of UV, unhealthy light. Wrong light. Now, now everything was as it should be.

 

He felt giddy, and about 20 years younger. And Seto obviously felt the same. Who knew he could smile like that?

 

You could forgive him anything, looking like that.

 

VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV AVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV

 

Probably one more chapter. With lemon.

 

Explanation? Light sees. Shadow hides. When they are together, you see the good and don't see the bad. Just light, you see everything, especially your flaws. Just shadow, you can't see at all. Darkness is what makes you human instead of divine, gives you a personality. In small doses. Like an outline. Otherwise, if you are without darkness, you are one with the universe: in Nirvana.