Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Memories of Shadow and Light ❯ Chapter 11 ( Chapter 11 )

A.N. First off, I have no excuse for the long delay that I've made in this story, and have no right to ask any of you to sympathize or understand, so I won't waste your time trying. I am sorry, and hope not to do it again. Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to all of you who bugged me while I was MIA. And a special thanks goes out to Cattie-dono for not giving up on me and giving me monthly reminders. Thanks Cattie you kept this story alive.

 

 

Chapter Eleven

 

It was dark in the small room, the insides only seen briefly through the shattering glare of lightening as the storm raged on outside. The instant brightness revealed the hardened features of the brunette brooding in the corner of his unmade bed, as well as the messy floor and desk, walls a mess of pictures and posters. His hair was askew from its usual style, and the dark rings under his dark black-brown eyes only aided in giving away his unsteady emotions.

“Why?” Honda asked the blackness of his bedroom, teeth gritted in aggravated anger, voice raw from earlier fits and screams against the blare of his loud music. “Why… is it always Yugi?!”

Thunder rolled through the room as if adding to his heartfelt question, the ringing boom echoing in his ears as well as through the halls of his house. His fists clenched tighter, fingernails biting into skin with abandonment. Honda's thoughts wouldn't settle, wouldn't quiet and let him sleep, but kept him lost in his own condemned hell.

“He's so small… always has been… and he can't really fight unless in a game… so, why is it that he's always the one being hurt? He's done nothing … nothing to deserve it… nothing…”

A streak of light, a crash of sound, and his fist hit the pillow with a silent thump. “It's not fair!” Honda's voice shook miserably and he clenched his eyes tightly shut in order to block out the weakness he was showing to the darkness.

He had never been weak. He'd been wrong before, yes, but never weak, perhaps that was the reason he blamed the pharaoh for the situation his friend was in. It made him feel weak, worthless, incapable of being able to do anything for his friend.

Since he arrived, we've been unable to protect Yugi from anything… its… its not right… Honda felt lightly betrayed. He'd known Yugi before Yami had come into his life—perhaps not before the puzzle came into his possession, but certainly before he'd finished said item—and Yugi had been, in his eyes, weak.

It had bothered him to no end, that Yugi would continue smiling even as he was picked on and ignored, and after standing between Jonouchi, him, and Ushio, when he willing let the larger bully bloody him up, Honda had been forced to admit that Yugi wasn't weak, he was kind. He wasn't quite ready to admit that though, and had refused to befriend the smaller boy, then Yugi helped him with his crush on Ribbon-chan.

He helped me then… Yami made an appearance as well… but, he wasn't more than a shift in personality back then. Yugi was still our concern… Honda thought miserably.

After that, he'd made it a silent vow to protect Yugi, a vow that solidified when Yugi was willing to be beaten again to save a friend from his past. Yugi wasn't going to abandon a friend, and he refused to think bad of them, and that was something Honda and Jonouchi had never known before. But even after befriending him, he knew just how small Yugi was, knew his strength of heart and mind, but knew also through experience how easily something could be broken. He couldn't handle that.

He was so light, and tiny when I lifted him from Kaiba's death trap of building blocks. Like my uncaring and creepy nephew, but so much more important, I didn't mind so much if I was stuck, so long as I'd gotten him through, that I'd repaid my debt to him… that for once, I did something to help him…

Yugi'd spent so much time helping him, helping all of them, that sometimes it was hard to find a way to pay him back, to remember that he needed help as well. And then it was gone, they had no way to protect or pay Yugi back, because just like that Yami was there, the nameless pharaoh, who stood up for Yugi and protected him in ways they never could.

It had been a bit annoying at first, but after Pegasus's Duelist Island, and Battle City and the Duel against Marik and Malik, he'd admitted and given his trust to Yami, placing Yugi in his care. Yami was there to give Yugi the strength to not be broken by others, at least, that was what Honda chose to believe.

Then Yami lost him to Doom.

“And now he's lost inside his memories… and we can't do anything…” Honda hit his pillow again, loathing the mixed feelings in his heart. He was angry, sad, hopeful, betrayed, and scared, with each week that passed, his hopes shriveled away, and he found himself glaring across the classroom at Yami, who was pretending to be Yugi. But Yugi was never so sad, never so quiet, never so cold.

Lightening lit the room, and glowed on silent tears that he'd show to no one else.

This sucked.

 

^^^^^^^^

 

The morning sounds of the waking market wafted into the room through the balcony, lifting the gossamer curtains, and bringing the warmed air and sunlight, casting the room in a golden glow of heat and life. A lone figure sat crouched in the center of an unmade bed, blankets curled low over hips and legs, knees raise holding up the arms and elbows that owned the hands that the face was buried in.

Golden bangs brushed the backs of caramel skinned knuckles, as fingertips sought cover in the dark black strands of hair—hair that shone red in the sunlight—and slowly, crimson eyes opened to the tickling sensation on his skin.

“Why..?” Atemu questioned the silence of his quarters with a tight voice and a grimace. His eyes narrowed, and his fingers dug into his scalp. Beside him, two millennium puzzles, one half covered with a cloth, glimmered in the morning bustle. Yugi's puzzle, still restless as always, pulsed anxiously while his, glittering in the sunlight, only sparkling up at him, a mirror of his kingdom's happiness. Atemu spared them only a glance, his lips pulled tight in a frown, watching the glimmer of restless power and the calm patience of the other. “Why can't I get him out of my head?”

Royal eyes slid closed in remembered pain, and Atemu groaned, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes, as though the pressure could erase the last hour from his memory. But as always, it did nothing but add to the growing pressure in his mind.

Sooner or later he had to leave his bed and continue with his daily duties, he was already behind in schedule, and had Saimun not been denied access to his bedchamber for the time being, he'd have already heard the long list of problems that needed his attention directly, but when he'd woken from his dreams with a problem he was becoming increasingly familiar with, Atemu had once again called for his harem's help, and forbid anyone from entering. Last thing he needed was for someone to catch him falling to such depths because one boy refused to leave his mind.

His removal from my side was supposed to stop these problems! Atemu thought disdainfully, Not make matters worse.

Yugi had been retired back to the servant's wing, and only arrived to complete his duties, though Atemu had to admit they spent more time than necessary together between duties, talking as they had before. It was pleasant—except for the few times where Yugi wound up in his lap, or decided to practice the newest dance step that Anzu had taught him—and without incident. Though, when Ra was swallowed by the beetle, and darkness covered his land and the chill of night slipped in through the open outer doors, Atemu's mind wondered, and dreams came to him, tempting him, beckoning him to the evil intentions he held inside.

“Why did I see that? Why won't it leave me?” Atemu growled, thourally annoyed with himself. He'd pictured Yugi as he'd taken his frustrations out on his harem girl. It had been perfect, the tight heat, the pleasured moans, and he'd closed his eyes on the brink, and saw Yugi. Pale skin soaked in sweat, head thrown back, cheeks flushed with color, nipples taunt and dark with blood, his nimble legs wrapped around Atemu's hips…

He'd never come so hard.

The guilt that had overcome him in that instance had been so intense that he felt close to vomiting, and had ordered the girl out quickly, his voice choked with his own weakness. He'd stayed there, deeply disgusted with himself, and still needing, unable to move as Ra was reborn and the whole of Kehmet came alive outside his palace, and still he sat, trapped in his own deceiving mind. “Can I truly want him so badly, that I can think of nothing else?!”

A nock on his chamber doors brought him from his tormenting thoughts, and Atemu looked toward the heavy doors idly, half wishing not to answer to the soft request.

“pr-aA?” Mahado's voice called through and Atemu felt himself relax a margin, and he was reminded how useful duty could be when used to forget things.

“I will be out shortly Mahado.” Atemu stated, and was slightly astounded when his voice sounded normal and controlled. Do I act so often that it's become natural? Atemu worried for several moments before brushing the thought aside. He was Pharaoh, of course some of his actions would be a façade, he was not a god but a man, but his people needed to believe that he was above mortality, and so he had to give them such an image.

“Yes, pr-aA.” Mahado responded from behind the door as Atemu stood from his bed. With out the cover of his blankets, the air brushed against his naked body coldly, Atemu tried to focus only on the pleasant way the wind felt upon his skin, and not the reason why he was disrobed.

The floor was cool to the bottoms of his feet as he made his way across the room to the bathing room. His eyes strayed to the bunch of pillows on the floor, remembering fondly, the way Yugi had looked curled up under the blankets there, safe and perfect…

On a bed meant for acts of lust and physical pleasures.

Damn it! Atemu cursed in his mind, muttering a few others under his breath as he tore his gaze from the make shift bed, and entered the bathing area. It was void of life save for the solitary guard who stood on the other side of the door.

The sound of the lapping water was soothing to his overly distraught nerves, and with a deep breath Atemu ascended into the water, glad that at least with this early bath, Yugi would not be required to attend to his bathing duties later in the evening. Atemu had a feeling those were the real reason behind his nightly problems.

“Wash up… and forget.” Atemu relaxed against the side of the basin, head resting on the ledge, eyes closing slowly. “Forget…”

 

^^^^^^^^

 

“Where can he be, honestly? How can the pharaoh just vanish?” Yugi asked no one in particular as he stalked up and down the palace halls, looking absently about.

The day was hot like all the others, and he was glad that it was still early morning yet, and there was a light breeze that rushed in off the Nile. It billowed up under Yugi's wrap and brushed over his bare torso in a comforting way that made the heat seem bearable, but Yugi had long learned that the small comforts were non existent come high noon. With all my luck I'll be looking for him all day! Where are you Yami?! Yugi paused in the middle of a long hall, his face collapsing slightly as he lowered his gaze to his feet. The tips of his toes had turned a dark red. He wasn't sure if it was from the sandstone scuffing his skin or the heat that radiated from said stone. … are you avoiding me?

Yugi had wondered that several times over the past month since Pragus's leave, when Atemu had promptly sent him back to stay in the servant's wing. Yugi'd held back his tears, and tried not to think of how warm his bed back in Atemu's room had been as he'd laid, shivering in the cold night, under one thin blanket alone. He just hadn't understood what he'd done to get thrown back into the mass of other servants. He'd even started to fear that Atemu had no other use for him, until Jonoh had come in to drag him to his duties, griping about stupid children and sleeping in.

Atemu had acted no different. He was kind still, and enjoyed Yugi's company, as much as he had before, and that had forced Yugi to rationalize. No, Yami had moved me to his quarters to keep me safe from Prego-man, now that he's gone it's only right that I return to the other place… he's not avoiding me!

Yugi forced himself to stand taller and nodded his head. “Right, I got to find Yami and give him the message.” Yugi said, fisting his right hand, “No time to be worrying over something so simple! Nope, no time at all.” Yugi forced a bright smile to his face, willing away the lingering doubt, and redoubled his efforts.

The halls all seemed to be empty this time of day, and it was a little odd, like walking through a tomb. Yugi giggled at himself, imagining that he was back home, just out with Sugoroku on a dig, looking through the ruins casually. Yugi was a little concerned that the thought and imaging was hazy like an old memory, and it brought little to no pain with it, but he brushed the thought aside quickly. He had not wanted to be upset when he found Atemu so, his not getting depressed over thoughts of home was a good thing.

Right?

“Argh! I'm never going to find him…” Yugi grumbled, “I had better luck in that maze he calls a soul room.”

Pausing by Atemu's bed chamber door, and, deciding that it couldn't hurt to look, approached the guard who opened the door swiftly and without question. That was a plus that came with the title of Pharaoh's personal servant, no one question him on where he was going. Though, it should be the other way around, shouldn't it? My being closest to the Pharaoh I could kill him if I was so inclined…

The room was disheveled, the bed looking as though Atemu had just woken up, and Yugi smirked to himself. Ah-hah, so I'm not the only one who sleeps in once in a while…

A soft splash alerted Yugi to the occupancy of the bathing room, and in two quick steps Yugi found himself standing directly behind the object of his search.

“There you are, I've been looking all over for you!” Yugi snapped, missing the way Atemu's relaxed shoulders tensed and how his eyes flew wide open to look at him fearfully from the basin. “Jonoh sent me when he couldn't find you himself. As though I'd have any more luck, you're like a shadow! I was afraid I would have to look inside the puzzle for you.” Yugi continued to berate the bathing ruler as he casually picked up the wash-cloth and moved to the basin's side.

This was a duty he'd become used to over time and so he took up his place behind Atemu with ease, his feet dipping into the water on either side of the pharaoh's sides. The water felt nice on his sore feet and Yugi hummed his short approval before dunking his cloth and beginning the usual routine of scrubbing Atemu's back.

“Anyway, Jonoh needed you to know that Pragus arrived back in Rome and brought the treaty before his king, and that the Cesar himself is coming down with the treaty to sign in person here. God only knows why he'd bother, it's such a long trip with out a plane… then there's the possibility of assassination attempts… just too much hassle.” Yugi moved his slowly circling hand from Atemu's back up to the side of his neck and shoulder. “I wonder if Kaiba ever has that problem. Probably not the traveling issue… him having his own private jet and all.” Yugi continued to mutter to himself, and accidentally dropped the wet cloth into the bath, his hand colliding and sliding over bare skin for a moment. “Ah! Oops—“ Yugi spluttered, bending to retrieve the cloth, “Sorry, Yami—“

He looked up and locked eyes with intense crimson.

 

^^^^^^^^

 

Atemu's control snapped like a single stalk of wheat. One moment he'd been sitting stiffly in his bath, focusing on Yugi's words and not the fact that he was sitting naked with the one he'd been fantasizing about for the past month just behind him—his legs touching his sides and his breath stinging his ear—and the next Yugi's hand had touched his neck and smoothed down over his shoulder. The contact was swift and delicate, it made him shiver in desire, and the soft sound of shock that issued from Yugi's mouth had scalded him instantly, ripping common sense from his already fired nerves.

Yugi. Atemu thought, turning around and meeting the eyes of the small boy, the next instant he'd dragged said boy into the water.

Yugi gave a cry, and came up spluttering and shaking water from his eyes and ears. “Y—Yami! What's the matter with you?” Yugi looked angry, and the pout on his wet features was alluring, and Atemu was having trouble remembering exactly why he was to stay away.

Akhu… what you do to me… I want to give back to you.

“Well? Yami are you even listening to me? Ya—”

“Shh.” Atemu whispered, when his sudden proximity made Yugi stop mid-sentence, his face flushing cutely and his eyes seeming abnormally large. He smiled and reached out tracing the soft cheek with his fingertips. “… soft.”

Yugi jerked back violently and blinked, “Wh—wh—what are you… Yami? I—you… what—“ Yugi continued to move backwards, and Atemu continued his slow pursuit, until Yugi's hit the edge of the basin, his back pressed against the stone, Atemu blocking his only way out; trapped. “Yami, come on, this isn't funny anymore you jerk.” Yugi spoke shakily, and Atemu's face turned serious as he closed the distance between them.

Yugi watched him with wary eyes. Looking down on him, Atemu reached out again, his fingers running over Yugi's face. The pale one shivered under his contact, and with a moan Atemu leaned in, his lips capturing the quivering ones in a soft kiss.

The hitch of breath, the taste of lips, the smell of the sea, it wrapped around Atemu's sensations like a cocoon, further blanketing him from the reality he knew was waiting for him to resurface, but at the moment all he could think of was the way Yugi had looked in his mind when he'd come, and the way he felt as his arms slid around Yugi's frame, pulling the small boy flush against him in a heated embrace.

Atemu tilted his head, lips parting and drawing Yugi's lower lip between his own in a deeper kiss, the tip of his tongue tracing it gently. Yugi shivered in his arms, and the hands that had risen to his chest—most likely in resistance—tensed and bit into his skin.

The small assent made Atemu groan and he pressed a little harder, his kiss shifting to a more demanding contact, his tongue growing restless and slipping between Yugi's softer lips, finding sanctuary in the warm of Yugi's mouth. Yugi gasped into the kiss, his back arching just the slightest with the breath and Atemu pressed back, his leg slipping between Yugi's, pinning him securely to the wall.

He could feel the quickened breaths that passed from Yugi's nose and pulled back a fraction to look down on Yugi. Amethyst was lidded in a hazy desire, face colored lightly, perfectly, and lips rosy and slightly kiss swollen. A bolt of need burned down his spine, and Atemu licked his lips, his heart feeling heavy a moment longer, knowing that he was breaking a rule that aught not be broken, and swooped back in for another kiss before Yugi had time to come back from his momentary lapse. I don't want to face him… not yet…

His kisses grew more feverish as his hands traveled up and down the length of Yugi's sides, ghosting around the front to toy with the edge of his wrap. Yugi jumped and made a sound of distress, and Atemu pressed more harshly against him, willing the sound away. He nipped at Yugi's lip and traced his belly button carefully with a finger as his other hand slipped up Yugi's thigh, traveling up and over the cloth undergarments Yugi wore to the edge, then slipped in with ease.

“Ah!” Yugi gasped, twisting his head away, panting, eyes still glassy, face still flushed, and Atemu quickly continued his kisses down the side of Yugi's neck, tasting the skin for the first time and finding it as perfect as he'd imagined. “S—stop…”

The soft whisper was accompanied by a small grunt as Atemu touched Yugi's gentiles, finding him half hard. Atemu smiled against the skin, his lips kissing him slowly, clinging to the wet skin, now that he knew that in some way Yugi was indeed enjoying himself as well. This is fine then… right? Yes, he wants it…

Atemu based his reasoning on the gripping fingers that had managed to curl around his shoulder, the way Yugi moved his hips in time with his brushing fingertips, and the way he moaned beneath him. Atemu swallowed, his heart racing. This is madness… I shouldn't… I…

Atemu moved from Yugi's neck to nip at his earlobe and Yugi arched, whimpering. “…Y—Yami….”

“Shhh, Yugi, I will not hurt you.” Atemu whispered huskily, his eyes watching Yugi lustfully, as his hand curled to hold Yugi—

“pr-aA!” The cry was followed by the crashing of a door and then silence as Mahado burst into the room, and finally, reality caught up with Atemu's mind.

By Ra, what have I… Guilt and anger and being interrupted raced sharply through his body, and Atemu sat somewhere between.

One look at Yugi, and Atemu knew that Yugi was also aware of there actions now, and his stomach bottomed out. Guilt won over his mind as it always did when confronted with Yugi, and the bitter taste of bile replaced the salty taste of Yugi's skin.

Why, am I so weak against him…?

 

^^^^^^^^

 

Yugi jerked at the loud sound that broke through the blanket of heat and sensation that had covered him, and like ice water he became aware of just what he'd been doing. Wha… what am I… Oh god! I was—with, Yami! I'm going to throw up… Yugi felt his stomach twist when Atemu turned to look at him almost worriedly, and it was then that Yugi realized that the pharaoh's hand was still around his quickly fading erection.

Yugi wasn't sure if he turned red or white at that moment, but somehow managed to twist away and clamor out of the water quickly. He slipped once on the ground in his panic, but regained his balance quickly and continued to run for the exit.

“Yugi!” Atemu's cry drove icy fear through Yugi's heart and made him run faster, he collided with the person in the doorway, but didn't care to apologize as he tore passed and down the hall.

His heart was thundering in his ears as he ran aimlessly through the halls, his breathing labored as tears stung his eyes and escaped to run down his face. Yugi didn't bother to wipe them away, too intent of escaping to bother pausing to clear his vision.

What have I done? What have I done? I… I'm not gay! I'm NOT GAY! Yugi sobbed out loud as he burst into the palace garden, throwing himself down among the taller growing plants and curling up into a ball, hiding his eyes away in his knees.

He tried to stay quiet as he poured out his heart, fearful that Atemu might have followed him, and would find him if he was too loud, the other half knowing that Atemu would not chase after him.

He wasn't sure which hurt worse.

“I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay…” Yugi repeated rocking back and forth slowly trying to comfort himself. But no matter how many times he thought it, he couldn't deny the fact that he'd liked what had happened, and that Atemu's kiss had definitely made him feel something.

“… I…I'm sick… Yami, save me. Please, wake me up…”

As always, no one came.

 

~~~~~~~~

(Ending Theme: Night Flowers)

 

ai no kuni wo samayou

watashi wo mitsuke dashite

tsubasa ni wa mada

surikireta hazu no kokoro   kakushite

 

watashi no mune wo someta

ikusen no hanabira wa

kanashii kurai   anata wo koishiku saseru

mou ichido

 

sugaritsuku shunkan

surinukeru maboroshi

anata no subete wo ubai saritai

 

itetsuita   NAIFU kazashi

ai wa mau   yoru no hana wo chirashite

 

aishite, iyasarete, tokihanatsu - kokoro sae...

motto hageshiku kanjite

 

sadame nara

yasuragi mo, nukumori mo iranai

 

itetsuita   NAIFU kazashi

ai wa mau   yoru no hana wo chirashite

 

kowashite, kizutsukete, tojikomete - kokoro sae...

motto hageshiku aishite

 

 

A.N. Okay, sorry that this is so short, and hopefully its not too far out of character for the two of them in this fic so far. Sadly, as I was typing this I kinda lost track of them and wound up typing from my notes solely. Let me know if I butchered this chapter and I'll fix it first before doing anything more. I hope to keep this updated on a regular basis from now on, but well, see how that turns out. Anyway, thanks to all who didn't give up on this story.

 

Lechan