Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yu-Gi-Oh Talkshow! ❯ Week Five ( Chapter 5 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]
Yu-Gi-Oh Talkshow
Week five

Hey, where are the cupcakes for the show? I baked them myself…there they are! Okay, here. We go live in 3, 2, 1…go!

Sakura: Yep, people. Our show has been moved to a new channel and a new time because our previous contractors didn't like the turnout of this show.

Yugi: You must be delusional. This is not a show, this is a really bad fanfiction.

Kaiba: My advice to the readers is to quit while they're ahead.

Sakura: Stop saying that! Look, I'm your new hostess…my Yami took over-erm, uh…::comes up wit a lame excuse:: I've suddenly suffered amnesia and I don't remember a thing about this talkshow except what these nice people have told me over the last week.

Yugi Yami: Those of you who tuned in last week know that Sakura's Yami had taken her body over while hosting the talkshow.

Sakura: Okay…um, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokémon (for the small references I make) and I do not own Star Trek. Um, I did not create truth or dare, nor did I invent cupcakes…which is the thing we're going to talk about today!

Clone Sakura: ::from backstage:: No, no…we get to eat cupcakes, not discuss them! Today we get to talk about personal stuff…

Sakura: Hey, really? Cool…okay guys, truth or dare without the dare option!! Okay, so who wants to go first…?

Pegasus: I dream about stealing souls and getting all the Millennium Items!!

Sakura: Oookaaay…anybody else? Anybody?

Bakura: I love Clone Sakura!!

Sugoroku: How do you tell them apart?

Bakura: You see, the original Sakura always twists her hair around like she's nervous or paranoid, Clone Sakura has her hair up in a bun all the time, Clone Sakura 2's eyes are darker than the other Sakuras', Clone Sakura 3 always wears a miniskirt, Clone Sakura 4 is always gone because she's going out with Rex Raptor and he left the show, and Clone Sakura 5 disappeared when we all got teleported by Clone Sakura 12's cable teleporter. Clone Sakura 6…::rambles on like Brock from Pokémon rambles on about how he can tell the difference between the identical Jennys and Joys…::

Sakura: Would you SHUT UP for a moment? Look, I don't know how or why you memorized me and my clones but I do not want to know and I am not PARANOID!!!!

Everyone except Sakura: …? What?

Sakura: ::grins embarrassed:: Um, heh heh…

Joey: I get to go next! I once had a dream that Mai married me. ::smiles wide::

Mai: ::eyebrows shoot up:: Heh…glad I could make your dream so…um, nice.

Sakura: I once had a dream that Captain Kirk and I were on a planet where eating a certain kind of cupcake would brainwash you, and Spock and McCoy ate the wrong kind of cupcake and got brainwashed, and they started chasing us, trying to force us to eat cupcakes…

::men in blue Star Trek uniforms shove a red shirt over Sakura's head. For all you original Star trek fans (yes, you Luna) you probably know what wearing red means…::

Sakura: Noooo!!!

::two Klingons walk in with phasers and are about to start to shoot at Sakura, but-::

Sakura: ::looking up from writing the fic:: the guy in red always dies first. But we can make an acception this time, no?

::A bunch of Tribbles fall from the ceiling, making the Klingons annoyed to the point where they go away::

(Sakura: ::looks up from writing the fic again:: for all of you non-Star Trek fans, Tribbles are like balls of fur that coo at nice humans but hate Clingons, and I will tell you the guy wearing red [or in the case of that one episode with the Horta, an orange jumpsuit] always dies first, except main engineer Scot.)

Sakura: ::sigh of relief as she pulls off the red shirt and pulls on a blue one:: I like blue and always thought science officer was better anyway.

Mr. Spock: Illogical. I am the current science officer.

Sakura: Well, what science positions do you have open? I've passed at the Academy…

::Spock and Sakura walk away::

Clone Sakura: No! Where is she going?

Joey: Why did that man have pointed ears?

Clone Sakura: He's a Vulcan, you idiot! But we've lost our host!

::a mailman walks on stage and hands Yugi a letter::

Yugi: ::tears it open and reads:: 'This is to friends and Family of Sakura Kujaku- Miss Kujaku has been positioned on the Starship Enterprise as second science officer. Signed, Captain James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock, science officer.'

Clone Sakura: Oh my gosh! She actually got a job on a Starship? With Captain James Kirk? She is so lucky!!

Téa: So who'll be our host now?

Clone Sakura: Um, all the clones that are left have jobs backstage…how about you be the host, Yugi?

Yugi: Me? Why me?

Pegasus: Pick me! Cartoons all day!

Everyone except Pegasus and especially Kaiba: ::cringe::

Yugi: Why don't we make another clone?

Clone Sakura: No, we can't. Clone 4 was finishing up the experiments Clone 12 started and she accidentally destroyed it.

Clone Sakura 3: ::the clone with the miniskirt:: That was me!

Bakura: I told you so!!

Clone Sakura: Um…so I guess that won't work. Oh! How about we use Roberi, my other original character? She's in the fic I'm also in the middle of writing!

Kaiba: ::sad:: I know what happens in the fic…

Clone Sakura: Well, don't ruin it! Kaiba, you better not tell the end of that fic!! Or anything about her parentage!

Kaiba: I won't…

Clone Sakura: Alright, everybody, give it up for Roberi!!

::claps and cheers from the cast since there is no audience::

Roberi: Hi, everybody. I heard that my b- erm, that is I heard my friend Sakura needed a host for her show.

Clone Sakura: That was me. I'm Sakura's clone. Um, do your introduction, but don't give anything away!!

Roberi: Okay…my name is A- um, Roberi. I never really had a name. I'm an orphan and I met Kaiba when I tried to-

Clone Sakura: You're giving away too much already! Talk about yourself, not the fic!

Roberi: Okay, okay. Um, I'm blind and I always wear this locket. I think it's got a picture inside…

Yugi: ::goes over to look at the picture::

Clone Sakura: No! ::quickly scribbles something in her notebook::

Yugi: Huh?

Clone Sakura: ::to Roberi:: I'll put it back to normal, just don't let anybody except Kaiba look at it! He's the only one who knows what it is, and if anybody else finds out it'll ruin my fic!

Roberi: …Okay. I can do that.

Kaiba: ::white:: You had to drag Roberi into this, didn't you? Not only will you ruin the end of the other fic but you'll…no, she should not be the host.

Roberi: Why not?

Clone Sakura: Because if I don't that big writer's block will come down on your head!!

Kaiba: Oh…so you have an idea then?

Clone Sakura: No, but I will soon.

Clone Sakura: ::sits down and starts to think…then gets a revelation:: I know!!!


::back in Ilex Forest::

::Ash, Brock, Misty, and Pikachu are all doing work around the campsite::

Clone Sakura 5: Can I help?

Brock: Actually, we're done! We're off for Goldenrod City because Whitney need help with something.

Clone Sakura 5: …Whitney?

Ash: Yeah, the gym leader!

Clone Sakura 5: …?

Misty: So you're telling us that you don't know what a Pokémon is, you don't know where we are, you've never heard of Whitney and you don't know what a gym is?

Clone Sakura 5: I know what a gym is. Clone 14 always went to the gym to work out after the talkshow.

Everybody except Clone Sakura 5: ::sweatdrop::

Clone Sakura 5: ::thinking:: Wait, did you say…Pokémon? Did you?

Ash: Yes…

Clone Sakura 5: …Ah! Now I remember! ::digs in bag and pulls out a toy Pokédex:: I must have gotten hit pretty hard on the head to have forgotten what a Pokémon was!

Ash: You have a…Pokédex?

Clone Sakura 5: Yup. See, um…types in 'Celebi'…

Pekédex: Celebi-the mysterious Pokémon. This Pokémon wanders across time. Grass and trees flourish in the forests in which it has appeared.

Ash: Celebi…?

Clone Sakura 5: ::points in the trees:: Yeah, it looks like that!

Ash, Misty and Brock: ::look where Clone Sakura 5 is pointing to see a Celebi::

Ash: Cool! I'm going to catch it! ::feels around his belt:: Uh-oh! Where are all my empty Pokéballs? ::hand hits the GS ball:: Oh! Go, GS ball!

Misty: Ash!! No!

::surprisingly Celebi is sucked into the GS ball, and Brock, Misty and Ash hold their breath as it wiggles, waiting to see if it was caught::

Ash: Come on…

::the GS ball stops wiggling and makes a small beep::

Ash: Yeah!!

Misty: Whoa…

Brock: Wow…

Clone Sakura 5: …?


::back in the studio::

Clone Sakura: Um, we've got one minute left! Say your goodbyes, Roberi!

Roberi: Um, okay…goodbye, people! Um, goodnight Domino City! That's where we are, right?

Yugi: In all actuality, we're in Sakura's soul room.

Roberi: Oh. Okay…well, sayonara and arigatou!

Joey: You've got it backwards. Skaura always says arigatou then sayonara. At least, she did last week…

Roberi: Look, I'm my own person!! ::hits Joey::

Clone Sakura: Um…goodnight!

::credits role::

WRITTEN BY
Sakura22

WRITTEN AT
8:54 PM eastern/standard time

BACKSTAGE DIRECTOR
Clone Sakura

CAST
Sakura
Clone Sakura
Clone Sakuras 2-4
Yugi Muto
Yami Yugi
Téa Gardner
Joey Wheeler
Tristan Taylor
Mai Valentine
Bakura Ryou
Seto Kaiba
Maximillion Pegasus
Sugoroku Muto

SPECIAL THANKS TO
www.pokemon.com
www.yugiohkingofgames.com
Duelist Luna
& other Star Trek fans

DO OWN
Sakura
All Clone Sakuras
Roberi
This fanfiction

DO NOT OWN
Yu-Gi-Oh
Pokémon
Star Trek

DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
REALLY, PEOPLE!