| "MOVING FORWARD" Reviews/Comments [ 20 ] |
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Reviewed By: Alaster Raz On: June 06, 2009 14:35 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
The story is well thought-out and is seemingly consistent throughout and has a nice flow. Unfortunately, the excess number of other shows/series that you tried to put into it can leave the reader confused although I do understand why you tried to put them in. The Tsu/Kei pairing is also enjoyable for this story and your mini "present" episodes in the beginning of each chapter is quite intriguing. One major problem with the story so far is days left. I've noticed that day you have day 5 for numerous days and you also went day 6, day 5, and then back to day 6 on later chapters. That itself is quite confusing and I am hoping you clear that up if it is a mistake or help me understand otherwise. Also at some points of your story is can be a bit repetitive. I look forward to the next/upcoming chapters. A new fan.
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Reviewed By: SithMaster82 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 12, 2009 06:05 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
It's stories like this that make me want to start writing again. few, very few stories have had me pouncing on each new chapter like a lion to its prey. simply put, i'm hooked. the crossover stuff can be a bit confusing, but its really neat how you've managed to link all of it with the aoyama clan and still make it believable. tres bien
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Reviewed By: random 090989898 On: February 26, 2009 01:36 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
the whole plot involving naru that makes keitaro leave, its really bad (overused naru bashing) you could get almost the same result without bashing the character and making them OCC. I dont know where did you got your LH characterizations but there are not from canon. if the plot was for keitaro to leave, you could easily archive this by other means.
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Reviewed By: jj On: February 22, 2009 20:43 CST
Comment/Review:
okay i've got to try this out
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Title: chap 4
Reviewed By: jj On: February 22, 2009 20:40 CST
Comment/Review:
and here i was thinking she slept with a professor(wouldn't put it past her in evil naru fics)
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Reviewed By: Glaedr [MediaMiner Member] On: April 13, 2007 00:00 CDT
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Awesome story, please continue it.
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Reviewed By: Anon01 On: March 28, 2007 06:34 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a fantastic story. I cannot wait to see where you where heading with this story. I usually don't like cross over stories but have pulled it off. I am looking forward to he next update.
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Title: Nice one!
Reviewed By: Brownies On: January 18, 2007 19:18 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
For me, this is one of the most entertaining and pleasurable reads I have ever come across in a Love Hina fanfic... Nice blend of drama and angst, I must say :D The only thing i can gripe about is the side story of kanako.. Unless you can connect it to the story of keitaro in the later chapters it doesn't seem right. I mean, those two stories can stand independent of each other... Well, unless you have other plans... :p Oh, and one last thing... Don't you think you can lighten up a little on Motoko's attitude? I mean, yeah, she comes across as one who would smack keitaro around for the slightest hint of perversion, but she's capable of assesing her own faults too, not just using keitaro as a scapegoat.. well, that's my own thinking, by the way... if u have other plans, then don't mind my rantings here :p great fic, great plot, very good read.. dats it :D
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Reviewed By: Master Lethe On: December 26, 2006 21:51 CST
Comment/Review:
I like the fic, I really do. Unfortunately the cross-over stuff turns me off in a big way. The main Tsuroko/Keitaro plot is more than enough to carry the story without all the other SG1 et al. crossing over. It's gotten to the point where I've just plain stopped reading.
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Reviewed By: Vilkath [MediaMiner Member] On: December 21, 2006 16:09 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great stuff, glad to see an update to one my favorite Tsuruko/kei fics. I just hope chapter 10 isn't delayed to long, this story is detailed and addictive =p Each update always seems like torture. Not mention we seem to be finally arriving at the climax, if the format continues we have 5 more flashback day chapters to go, then the present to account for.
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Reviewed By: Lum_the_Mad On: November 21, 2006 10:04 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Highly enjoyable fan fic, some lines and spelling errors (mostly things like he/she that get past spell check), but overall very well written. I agree with some the other people that the cross overs seem a bit forced, and not really needed. A few character refrences, or one or two maybe. But I just didn't feel the need to include all of them. Especialy with the etreeme detail some the middle chapters went into just to explain their importance. I really felt the first chapter introducing Tsu-chan was really bogged down by them. I think this fan fic could been perfectly fine without the cross overs maybe even get to the plot point faster (all that foreshadowing really makes it harder to accept the filler info). Still overall I enjoyed this anyways.
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Reviewed By: Sieg_15 On: August 18, 2006 14:49 CDT
Comment/Review:
Dang...This story is always getting better. I've been reading/following this story since it was posted up on Fanfiction.net when it first came out. Really want to know how this story plays out in the end. Great story.
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Reviewed By: Godslayer [MediaMiner Member] On: August 17, 2006 12:26 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I thoroughly enjoying reading this fic, the plot is well developed and it was most enjoyable to read. I hope you continue to publish chapters, and I will have to see if you published anything else.
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Reviewed By: Sexy23 On: July 17, 2006 10:03 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i love this fan fic alot please write more
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Reviewed By: lust69 On: July 17, 2006 10:01 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow this fan fic is realy exiting i won't be able to slept tonight because of it
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