| "Love Hina: Evil Edition" Reviews/Comments [ 12 ] |
Title: love hina:evil edition
Reviewed By: kakasott@yahoo.com On: February 25, 2008 13:50 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i like it was fun. i want to read more because it seems better than the show and funnier.keep writing some more.
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Reviewed By: killerman83ca [MediaMiner Member] On: October 29, 2007 13:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Can you plase update soon becasue I would like to know what will happen with the girls and him.
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Reviewed By: Miheran On: August 18, 2007 03:26 CDT
Comment/Review:
this is great and i want to see more of it can you plese continue it has been over a year since your last update
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Reviewed By: Spartan429 On: July 01, 2007 11:02 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This story kicks ass! Keitaro isn't taking s#!t from the girls, that rocks! Keep up the good work!
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Reviewed By: Dark Lord Tokunaga [MediaMiner Member] On: July 18, 2006 21:57 CDT
Comment/Review:
hm.... Chickenfoot, if you don't like a fic, you don't read it... and if you do read it, you don't go on a rant about how bad it is.... rabt on your own time..... authors don't like to see flames, and personally, if unlogged in people flamed me, i'd switch so only members could review........ and i'd like to say that yours is consturctive critisism, but going on for that long is going too far in my opinion.......... flame my poems, i could care less, i'll just simply delete your flames...
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Reviewed By: Judas On: July 05, 2006 14:39 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
That was the coolest, I never thought Keitaro would ever have an evil bone in his body. Until this story, Interesting concept. can't wait for more. Chickenfoot, give the author a frigg'in break, you have to admit it was interesting.
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Reviewed By: ChickenFoot On: June 27, 2006 03:14 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Comment/Review:
You might be wondering why it's rated a 4 in style of writing. Plainly put, your style of writing sucks. It's like reading a story written by a 9 year old, in terms of the way the events are written. Description and dialogue feels wooden, it's not smooth. I'd recommend taking an excerpt from your story and comparing it to another fic, like hawker-748's "Ships in the Night" The difference is enormous, especially in dialogue. A good example would be this...(your fic)""Here you go, sir. That will be . . ." Haruka said. "I can't afford this. The price is ridiculously high." The man said"" do you notice the lack of description, and the very simplistic way of describing dialogue? by using 'said' the dialogue becomes a bore to read, and destroys the immersive quality of your fic. An example of a good back and forth conversation from hawker-748's fic is this...""I didn't move in with her," Keitaro interjected suddenly. Toshio gave him a hard look. "You're living here, aren't you?" Keitaro winced at the glare. "Not in the house, next to the dojo." As you'll notice in this dialogue there's a lack of 'said', now there's no problem with using 'said' but use it too much and the dialogue becomes wooden is choppy. Also notice the little detail used to describe the conversation... such as Keitaro wincing or Toshio giving a hard look. Those little descriptive words add dimension to the dialogue, and make the fic enjoyable to read. In addition to my 'said' argument, never use any particular word too often. That's why your own dialogue feel disconnected and choppy, 'said' is used much too often. The key to good fiction is to write with varied words, it keeps the reader's mind thinking and challenged. Rather than boring it and stopping the reader from enjoying your ideas, which I might add is quite fun... Bad Keitaro? Oh YES! Whoop some Naru ass! Just a little suggestion for your fic, try comparing your fic to others who are known for their quality, like Random or hawker and etc. Look to see how they're different and try to improve your weaknesses.
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Reviewed By: CREPE On: June 25, 2006 18:51 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
You posted this originally on fanfiction.net Right? Well anyway this must be Love Hina gangsta edition. Normally I would just bury your ass outback, bitch Hey keitaro I don't feel like burying any bodies. that was just funny. Haruka becoming the Tea Nazi Oh yea Well anyway if this gets any more thugish I'll keep reading it. You are going to complete this right? Or I will bury your ass outback
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Reviewed By: Dark Lord Tokunaga [MediaMiner Member] On: June 25, 2006 14:54 CDT
Comment/Review:
Very good..... You keep up the evilness of Ketaro and i enjoy reading this story..... And kudos to you for writing a story i enjoy reading....
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Title: .
Reviewed By: . On: June 23, 2006 14:17 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
Kietaro layin down the chains
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Reviewed By: Dark Lord Tokunaga [MediaMiner Member] On: June 22, 2006 03:56 CDT
Comment/Review:
Very nice...... I enjoy reading stories where the author/ess makes Kitaro into an evil dictator....... WOOO GO EVIL!...... If you dont know me, thats fine.... Keep writing this story, we'll get to know each other..... I don't like falming people, so keep this story alive..... unlike SOME author/esses that just stop, abandon, then bury their stories because they didn't get enough reviews.....
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Reviewed By: The Judge [MediaMiner Member] On: June 19, 2006 11:38 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
it is so twisted that it is funny which is rare to find.
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