Title: FFRG
Reviewed By: staindgrey [MediaMiner Member] On: July 11, 2006 23:30 CDT
Comment/Review:
I liked it. It was well written, and the style of short, concise sentences fit well with Vegeta's track of mind; it was like I was inside his head, hearing his every thought. Very well done. I did catch one small grammar error, and that's simply when you wrote "My tongue exploring her mouth..." That, of course, is a fragment. But, enough English teacher-ness, I thought the story idea was very well executed and it left me with practically nothing to critique. Good job.
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