| "One Desire" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] |
Reviewed By: inuyashaxkagomeforever [MediaMiner Member] On: June 03, 2008 20:15 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i luv ur story plot! and will inuyasha really take kagome!?! OoO ha! well i luv da story soo plz update soon! cant wait 2 c wat happens!
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: May 07, 2008 03:44 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
interesting story... like it so far... hope inuyasha & kagome stop fighting... they should have a heart-to-heart talk... and kagome is nice and all but her friends are just annoying... wonder what happens next... update as soon as you can... please and thank you...
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Reviewed By: Purefire16 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 11, 2007 22:26 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
LOVE it!
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Reviewed By: Inu Hanyou Nikkie [MediaMiner Member] On: March 06, 2007 11:07 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay, here goes.. just some pointers to help you out. Inuyasha has his claw attacks : Sankon Tesso and Hijin kessu (blades of blood). Kagome also has her spiritual powers, Sango has her boomerang is known as Hiraikotsu, a Kodachi (a sword slightly smaller than the Kantana) plus all her hidden weapons. Miroku has his shakujou (his monk's staff) and his Ofudas. Unless you meant to say in the profiles The Main Weapon of use. Another error was in Sango's profession.. it's Taijya. So far the story sounds very interesting. It just needs a little more "beefing up" It feels bare right now. With the dialogue very good for making it seperate lines. For the non dialogue you can put the sentences together and create paragraghs. In the second chapter.. get rid of the space and the writers note.. it seems rather "immature" it gave the feel of talking to your readers like they are small childern that you want to keep interested. Unless that is the way you wished to come across. *shrugs* I was enjoying until that part -it caused a lowering of the enjoyment level. (hence the rating) I will look forward to see if there are improvements in the next chapter. I can see you have talent, I just hope you will work on improving and bringing out this talent. So good luck. I would offer up reading the stories that have recieved Awards. They may help you out.
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Title: write more
Reviewed By: sufferingkagome [MediaMiner Member] On: March 03, 2007 19:36 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
write more hurry
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Reviewed By: pokiepal [MediaMiner Member] On: March 03, 2007 11:44 CST
Comment/Review:
cute start to a story keep up the good work
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Reviewed By: livingdead [MediaMiner Member] On: March 02, 2007 23:22 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
THIS LOOKS LIKE I WILL BECOME A GOOD ONE!
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Reviewed By: Purefire16 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 02, 2007 18:52 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
MORE plz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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