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| "Wild Child" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] | Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: July 31, 2008 11:38 CDT
Comment/Review:
What the FUCK! Seriously, squirrel using Ki blasts? That's crazy. An intelligent squirrel I can see keeping up with ranma, it's just the Ki thing I can't handle. I mean, seriously, a body that small can't generate a Ki field that large, or maintain it. It'd be like compressing the energy needed to run a city for an hour into a car battery, it'd explode! Anyone, I love the story, I just HATE the long wait between updates. See about updating on a more regular basis from now on? So, update soon, wouja? Ja ne.
| Reviewed By: AMWOOD co [MediaMiner Member] On: March 26, 2007 10:18 CDT
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I have to agree with the others: your spelling and grammar need a great deal of work. Especially with context. 'Threw' is the past tense of Throw, to hurl an object. 'Through' is to to pass an object by negotiating the space that object occupies. In both cases in chapter 1 you used the first when you wanted the second. Watch out for these as well as two, to and too. These are the ones that fanfiction writers screw up all the time. As for the story itself, I would have left that little commentary that Ranko makes at the beginning alone in regards to the actions of all the others. You reveal it all anyway. Just don't mention how everyone was treating her and keep the part of her being somewhat suicidal. Other than that, the story is doing very well. Just seek proofreaders. from the offices of AMWOOD co
| Reviewed By: deckman1063 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 26, 2007 09:58 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 2 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
An interesting idea, but your spelling is terrible. Poor spelling seriously detracts from enjoying the story when a reader has to stop every fifth word to try and decipher both what the word is, and whether or not the word is even correct for the context. If you clean this up it will be much easier to read and enjoy. The idea you have is certainly worth the effort!
| Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: March 26, 2007 00:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
WHat the hell was with that Omake? Very strange. Anyway, I like the story, keep writing. LAter
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