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| "Failing Twilight" Reviews/Comments [ 21 ] | Reviewed By: kagsessdaughter Silver [MediaMiner Member] On: September 10, 2009 23:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love this story. i just thought i should let you know. Its clever, witty, and funny as hell. keep up the good work, you now have a new crazy fan.
| Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: April 03, 2009 01:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
Dude, awesome update close to 2 months ago. So, how about an update on your stories, neh? Would be much appreciated. Anyway, continue to update, and good luck with the next 3 months (exams, bad economy, whatever happens, ya know? Ja ne.
| Title: Very Nice
Reviewed By: Roxs On: March 10, 2009 17:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well wel well All i can say is that, I loved the story line, Just love it. But like any good reader, i am patiently waiting for the next chapter. Hoping it's soon, like really soon. ahhhh.....Keep up the good work, and wishing the next chapter is up Peace dude :D
| Title: Very Nice
Reviewed By: Roxs On: March 10, 2009 17:40 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well wel well All i can say is that, I loved the story line, Just love it. But like any good reader, i am patiently waiting for the next chapter. Hoping it's soon, like really soon. ahhhh.....Keep up the good work, and wishing the next chapter is up Peace dude :D
| Title: Reise, Reise
Reviewed By: GoblinKing2112 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 05, 2009 04:37 CST
Comment/Review:
::audibly eye-twitches the Imperial March by Metallica:: Yeah! A new chapter for the new year! Neko was VERY funny. I'm guessing you were inspired by the third Naruto Movie (Kingdom of the Crescent Moon). ::claps the beat to Lift Your Head up High and Blow Your Brains Out by Bloodhound Gang:: Ah... I've missed my Jimmy Pop Ali... ::hums the beat to Fire Water Burn by Bloodhound Gang:: Keep up the good work, live your dreams, and don't assume the receptionist is pregnant. Now if you excuse me, I am going to listen to Boom by Bloodhound Gang Featuring Rob Van Winkle (HE HATES VANILA ICE!). Ja ne. The Goliath's Commandment - Let us feast upon our foes so that they shall know the true meaning of Fear! Plus... You may be Satan's offspring, but I have Jesus Christ's Beer Belly on speed dial.
| Title: Sehnsucht
Reviewed By: GoblinKing2112 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 22, 2008 02:47 CST
Comment/Review:
Does anyone even read these? I feel like I am the only one reading on this site! Or maybe you are one of the few authors who do not read reviews. Nice description on elements. Give Naruto (or me for that matter) enough time and he can develop some very radical techniques and seals. Who knew little squigly lines could be so useful? Just beware the dangers of the squigly kind. Do you REALLY want to fight a Squiggoth? Oh well. Keep up the good work. Taijutsu will be troublesome if you don't know very much about the martial arts. My best resource for it is Ninjas and Superspies by Palladium Books (martial artists vs. mercenaries, cyborgs, and nerds with lasers). 41 real world Martial Arts and 48 powers based upon the training and pseudo-myths of martial arts (punching sand will make your hands tougher, as long as they don't get infected and have to be amputated). Ja ne. The Goliath's Commandment - Our name is Goliath, and we are Legion
| Title: Buck Dich
Reviewed By: GoblinKing2112 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 19, 2008 23:49 CST
Comment/Review:
The title of this refers to one of my favorite Rammstein Songs (I don't speak german, so bleh). Yet another chapter. Kind of short... but oh well. Keep up the good work. Seals are the name of the game. Especially if you are a genius and can come up with many interesting ideas (gloves with an inner-lining of water seals, middle lining of earth seals, and an outer-lining of fire seals for flaming gloves that do not damage your hands, without being a full-on jutsu). Got to keep them seperated correctly or else your hands get scalded by super-heated steam. Ja ne. The Goliath's Commandment - Our name is Goliath, and we are Legion
| Title: Tier
Reviewed By: GoblinKing2112 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 17, 2008 20:29 CST
Comment/Review:
Oh no, poor Naruto-kun! Damn you, you ecclesiastical shit-eater! ::twitch?:: Not calling you that, refering to whatever divine entities exist in your story. I feel sadness for our poor Naruto-kun. :'( [emoticon for tearing up] Am I the only one who writes reviews on this site? Or am I the only one reading it on this site? Those fools dare ignore your greatness! Oh well, keep up the good work. Ja ne. The Goliath's Commandment - Our resolve is Adamantine, and no evil shall stand before our righteous might! • This reminds me of the time when my pancreas became self-aware and destroyed an entire civilization of donkey worshippers ~ Hanicas's thoughts on Naruto using an alien sword to summon knights (he also has no idea WHY it reminded him of his pancreas)
| Title: To the Wind I will sing the Tale of the King of Peace and Love, of the man who crossed the path of the Ancient Forest of Elves!
Reviewed By: GoblinKing2112 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 14, 2008 00:31 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
::claps to the beat of Tubthumpin' by Chumbawumba:: YIPPEE! Welcome back to writing. Now the fight with Gaara was quite intriguing. Though, I was surprised by Tsunade's lack of interest in 'Yuurei', considering that Seal Experts are supposed to be extremely rare, and a child-prodigy under a henge should have immediately caught her attention. Where was Shizune? I thought she was always with Tsunade after THEY left Konoha. Oh well. Great work. Threads with seals? Hmm... I thought of nin-wire with seals before that (the seals enable the nin-wire to be manipulated like chakra strings, but less chakra is needed to give them a physical effect; also greater control for nin-wire techniques). Keep in mind: If Naruto learns any Earth (or possibly even Metal) Jutsus, he could theoretically combine them with thread seals to create extremely strong clothing, or if he has access to Kevlar, uber-strong body armor. Suiton jutsus could be used for flotation (five hundred pounds of armor becoming weightless underwater? sweet) and for protection from fire. If he incorporates metal he could use Raiton jutsus to increase his reflexes and striking power (earth and metal for overall strength, but that is full body suits only). Hey, I'm a good sounding board for creative Jutsu, and more importantly, seals. Whatever. Don't use if you don't want to. Ja ne. Litany of the Swordsmen of the Immortal King - The King Stirs, The Swords Gather, The Smith Toils. ::eye-twitch:: I AM NOT JESUS! ~ Hanicas's response to being in the presence of Christians. I know how you feel. Everyone thinks I am a cannibalistic monster that kills people for no reason. I AM NOT A MONSTER! ~ Hanicas's reply to someone talking about how people assume she is a no-nonsense bounty hunter, all the while he just tore the barkeep's head off and is eating the flesh.
| Title: i liky
Reviewed By: naruharemlover [MediaMiner Member] On: October 31, 2008 15:37 CDT
Comment/Review:
I.LOVE.THIS.STORY plz plz plz plz update soon
| Title: YAY!
Reviewed By: GoblinKing2112 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 30, 2008 23:00 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
::claps the theme to Mortal Kombat:: Very nice. And the first to have Kaiza live. Though, shouldn't they have asked more questions about our beloved youngling? And why am I referencing Star Wars? Don't think about younglings, Anakin will just kill them. Oh well. Keep up the good work. And now that you mention it, I have never actually seen anyone describe Naruto-kuns reactions to seeing things outside Konoha. The Goliath's Commandment - Don't be tempted to virus bomb your enemies I love my 40k
| Title: The Banana Splits
Reviewed By: GoblinKing2112 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 29, 2008 04:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la, Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la. Four banana, three banana, two banana, one. All banana's playing in the bright warm sun. Flipping like a pancake, Poppin' like a cork, Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper, and Snork! Hehehe, try that one ya miscreantial, rabid, quadrapalegic rat-apes! This chapter is well done. Keep up the good work, and beware autistic oregonians that make random references, such as to the Banana Splits theme song, and other more esoteric things. May the Schwartz be with you. The Goliath's Commandment - White Trash, get down on your knees! Time for cake and Sodomy Song reference AND a Commandment. I really hate inbred people, I actually went to school with at least 5 different inbred kids with downsyndrome. Bleh, and people wondered why I was kicked out of school... Very expressive when unseen. SPOON!!!
| Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: October 29, 2008 01:20 CDT
Comment/Review:
And as a result, Naruto is pushing himself even harder now than he was at first. All things considered, Naruto will turn out to be a very interesting Genin, I think. Neh. Continue to update, ja ne.
| Title: This is Black Sunshine
Reviewed By: GoblinKing2112 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 24, 2008 22:30 CDT
Comment/Review:
It has only been a few days and you already updated? I hope it was only because of the relative shortness, and not what happened to me with my story (it is poopy, but it was my first coherent writing project ever). Keep up the good work. And don't think you have to update so quickly, especially since most authors that do so burn themselves out or their stories become a morass of confusing blather. Your story is neither, and I hope it stays that way. Oddly enough, you weren't the first one to understand the connection between seals and handseals. The story Fuinjutsu has Naruto making a paper and blood seal that can make a single Kage Bunshin. Just be careful, once Naruto starts the academy he will start learning about hand seals, and since he figured out how Henge and Explosive tags work, he can actually become extremely strong. Ja ne. The Goliath's Commandment - The thrill of vivisection, the agony of decapitation! Yeah, I went there.
| Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: October 24, 2008 14:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
Neh, and a fun ride it's been so far. So we look forward to your next update, kk? Ja ne.
| Reviewed By: Aoidragon [MediaMiner Member] On: October 24, 2008 01:49 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
thumbs up to you ^^b i like your version of 'the villages really didnt form mobs to kill the kid because of the Sandaime' i mean, REALLY?? he has a law to prevent them from even SPEAKING but theyre not afraid to freaking abuse or molest him instead?? oh come on!!! that said, yay for you ^^b hope you update!
| Reviewed By: GoblinKing2112 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 22, 2008 05:45 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
An update? MY GOD! Still good. I immediately recognized Ibiki when he said 'Oi!' (Although their are many scarred ninja in Konoha alone, I guessed the location was Anbu related). Though, for some reason I don't think a Chuunin would be their unless they were a Yamanaka, and only if they nearly mastered their clan techniques. Oh well. Though, the fact that he actually managed to enter at any other time would be quite insulting to even a gennin, as he doesn't even have any shinobi training. Keep up the good work, and let us pray that Naruto doesn't enter the sewers. I get the feeling that the Aburame have giant insects in the sewers around their compound, and Naruto-chan likely would be freaked out to see a large rat get torn apart by a cat sized fly to feed its hamster sized maggots. The Goliath's Commandment - Let not the Fan Girl live, for they are the abomination of the Emo!
| Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: October 21, 2008 13:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hmmm, interesting. Continue to update, ja ne.
| Reviewed By: lith417 On: October 17, 2008 13:46 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Comment/Review:
i think this i'll turn out well
| Title: Very logical, me like
Reviewed By: GoblinKing2112 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 17, 2008 04:41 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wait a minute, the paper was folded. It's 10, 10, 10, 10, with an overall rating of 10. Very good. Straight 10s is an A+ with extra cookies 'n' cream icecream. I like this story. As for the bit on the mob beatings, those often occured due to actions of the Anbu who were SUPPOSED to watch Naruto, though they rarely actually attacked him themselves. There normally is only one Anbu watching him at any one time. The main reason he lives is because the mobs attract other Anbu. And the people identified are normally interrogated by Ibiki ;) before execution (preferrably slow death by katon jutsu). Those caught on site are normally under the perview of an Anbu authorized Field Execution if they are ninja, otherwise subdued or killed. Just giving a LOGICAL, REASONABLE, and REALISTIC explanation for the beatings. But as AU, as long as you take actions that explain the circumstances, you can get away with even more divergent and disturbing events. Quite well. I thought Teuchi was relatively skinny though. Bleh... Keep up the good work. Though, the name of the story has me worrying for Naruto-kun's survival and mental stability. The Goliath's Commandment - Our name is Goliath, and we are Legion!
| Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: October 16, 2008 22:07 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hmmm, interesting. Definitely worth reading. So, continue to update, will ya? Ja ne.
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