| "A Big Help" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] |
Reviewed By: GrayPheonix [MediaMiner Member] On: January 04, 2010 22:48 CST
Comment/Review:
Hmmm, interesting story so far. I know you probably posted this here as a sideline, but it's been interesting so far, and worth continuing to read, if nothing else. With that in mind, continue to update, will ya? Ja ne.
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Title: Lost Interest
Reviewed By: Tai Khan [MediaMiner Member] On: September 27, 2009 11:14 CDT
Comment/Review:
Trying WAY too hard to resolve any and every problem that crops up between furthering the relationship between Ranma and Akane, as soon as the problem crops up. It's also coming across in the story as if the only reason the 'canon' Ranma and Akane had so many problems was mostly due to Ranma, while Akane's negative aspects only had minor or no influence on their rocky relationship. And if Ranma's got so much money, why in the world would even bother going along with Nabiki's plans to exploit him? Any 'reasonably' intelligent person wouldn't! Especially as there's a healthy adult in residence that could go out and get a job to support his family. Teaching in a dojo is NOT the only means of earning an income. What it boils down to is...you're pressing the Ranma/Akane relationship TOO hard and fast, and failing to explain the discrepancies of Ranma supposedly being more intelligent and better behaved, but failing to use that intelligence to prevent himself from being exploited by those around him.
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Title: Chapter 2
Reviewed By: Tai Khan [MediaMiner Member] On: September 20, 2009 09:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
Concentrating too much on the budding friendship between Akane and Ranma, which is happening extremely fast, and all but ignoring any interaction between Ranma and the elder Tendo sisters (aside from Nabiki pressuring Ranma to allow her to exploit him).
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Title: Chapter 1
Reviewed By: Tai Khan [MediaMiner Member] On: September 20, 2009 09:16 CDT
Comment/Review:
While explaining Akane's OOC, due to Ranma being a very different person...as well as a contrived reason for Akane's hatred of boys.... Ranma don't seem to have done the same for either Kasumi or Nabiki. Aside from hinting that they may prefer a relationship with another female. Slanted a wee bit too heavily towards Akane over her sisters a result.
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