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| "Ranma-1118" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Reviewed By: Drackmord On: May 21, 2010 19:17 CDT
Comment/Review:
DX-1118 is the REDlight strain used in Hope, Idaho. It is not the Blacklight virus.
| Title: Master Artificer of the Dead Court
Reviewed By: Lord Sia On: February 08, 2010 07:37 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Good, but you need to expand upon it a bit. The random event that threw Ranma into the Prototype-verse was lame; you can do a lot better than that. Perhaps he was headed for a tournament in New York; perhaps the whole thing takes place in Japan or China; perhaps Akane's latest malleting sent him into a jet stream or a plane and he landed in the good old US of A. A little more creativity would be appreciated though. The description of the battle in Ranma's body could also use some spicing up; perhaps a few short clips, either at once or preferably interspersed with the other text, describing how the Virus mutates and the Immune System adapts. There's a lot of potential there - I suggest reading Academia Nuts' "Shinji and the Thousand Sons"; the battle against the (12th I think) Angel is exactly the kind of thing you could use. A sample; Bacteria armed with fusion guns, particle beams and protected by psychic forcefields.
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