Title: Nice So Far
Reviewed By: Master__Dragon [MediaMiner Member] On: March 22, 2011 19:27 EDT
Comment/Review:
All righty now, as your first reviewer i have a few things to say. #1; this is an excellent idea!! Im anxious to see how you are gonna write this story especially what you're gonna do with the whole Werewolf AND Ninetails Demon things going on for Naruto (I wonder what he would look like if he was in werewolf form and then went Ninetails while a werewolf? That sounds very interesting and is something you might want to start thinking about now!). #2; There are grammer and spelling mistakes and missing words in your story. Those are things you WILL want to fix. #3; Definietly make it a NaruHina fic but i dont suggest making this a harem, I just dont see that panning out very well. #4; MAKE YOUR CHAPTERS LONGER!!! #5; Give a little more description especially when dealing with the fight scenes, that will help you make the chapter's longer. Also when you go to submit your next chapter(s) put an extra line of space between each paragraph, that will make your story look less smooshed together, and it might get you more readers because most people dont like a smooshed story. #6; MAYBE introduce an Original Character of your own creation to spice things up a bit, maybe make it a villan (I find villains a little easier to come up with...thats just me though) and give them a lasting spot in the story. OR you could make it a NaruOC fic (Naruto & an Original Character romance). Remember these are all only suggestions and though i hope you listen and implement each and every one of them i dont expect you to. If you have free time be sure to check out my original story: Elemental Eyes: Rising Winds and review with your praise. If you need help I will gladly be a beta reader for you, and I look forward to all Future chapters in this story. Signed; Master__Dragon a.k.a. Erich |
